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I had judged rightly in preparing myself for my encounter with Mrs.
Pendarves, as she took the first opportunity of telling me how much she pitied me: for she had heard of the affair with the young lady who came to nurse me in my lying in, which was of a piece with the renewal of intercourse with Lady Bell Singleton. "But I a.s.sure you," she added, "his uncle means to tell him a piece of his mind; and if he does not, I will."
On hearing this I thought proper to laugh as well as I could; which perfectly astonished my aunt, as I knew it would do, and she demanded a reason of my ill-timed mirth. I told her that I laughed at her mountain's having brought forth a mouse: for that the affair with the young lady ended in her marrying a young ensign, soon after she left us, for love, and that I had given her a wedding present; and that I knew from Seymour himself that he visited Lady Bell Singleton: I therefore begged she would keep her pity, and my uncle his advice, for those who required them.
My mother entered the room at this moment, and I had great pleasure in repeating to her what had pa.s.sed: for I was glad to impress her with an idea that my husband confided in me. I saw that I had succeeded.
"Mrs. Pendarves," said she, gravely, "I am sorry to find you are one of those who act the part of an enemy while fancying you are performing that of a friend. What good could you do my daughter by telling her of her husband's errors, had the charge been a true one? Answer me that.
Surely, where 'ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise.'"
"But she could not be ignorant long--she must know it some time or other, and it was better she should hear it from a sympathizing and affectionate friend like me. However, I did not mean to be officious and troublesome, and I am glad Mr. Seymour Pendarves is better than I supposed he was."
"Madam," replied my mother, "Seymour, like other persons, is better, much better than a gossiping world is willing to allow any one to be.
And it is hard indeed that a man's own relations should implicitly believe and propagate what they hear against him."
"Take my advice, my dear little aunt, and always inquire before you condemn; which advice is your due, in return for the large store of that commodity which you are so willing to bestow on other people."
My aunt was silent a moment, as if considering whether in what was said there was most of compliment, or most of reproof. Be that as it might, she was too politic not to choose to believe there was much of compliment implied in the mention made of her willingness to bestow advice. She therefore looked pleased, declared her pleasure at finding all was well, and that she found even the best authority was not always to be depended upon. At dinner that day, to show, I conclude, that Seymour was restored to her favour, she asked him to pay her a visit at their house in town; but on my saying that I expected she would include me in the invitation, as I wished to go to London, she turned round with great quickness and exclaimed, "What! and leave your sweet babe?"
The censure which this abrupt question conveyed gave a sort of shock to my feelings, and I could not answer her; but my mother instantly replied, "My daughter's health requires a little change of scene, and surely she can venture to intrust her infant to my care."
"Oh, yes! but how can she bear to leave it?"
"The trial will be great, I own," said I; "but I am not yet so very a mother as to forget I am a wife; and as I must either leave my child, or give up accompanying my husband, of the two evils I prefer the first."
"Oh! true, true, I never thought of that," was her sage reply; "and you are right, my dear, quite right, as husbands are, to go to take care of yours; and I advise you to keep a sharp look-out--for there are hawks abroad."
"Hawks!" said my uncle smiling, "turtle doves more likely; and they are the most dangerous bird of the two."
This observation gave Pendarves time to recover the confusion his aunt's speech had occasioned him, and he told me he was much amused to see that I had positively arranged a journey to London for him and for myself, without his having ever expressed an intention of going at all.
"But I knew you wished to go, and I thought it was your kind reluctance to ask me to leave my child which alone prevented your expressing your wishes."
"Indeed, Helen, you are right: I never should have thought of asking you to leave your child; and I own I am flattered to find I am still dearer to you than she is: therefore, if my uncle and aunt will be troubled with us, I shall be very happy to visit London as their guest."
"Is it possible," cried I, "that you can think of going any where but to a lodging?"
"Is it possible," cried Mrs. Pendarves, "that you can prefer a lodging to being the guest of your uncle and aunt?"
"To being the guest even of a father and mother; for when one has much to see in a little time, there is nothing like the liberty and convenience of a lodging."
"Well, well, Helen," said Pendarves, rather impatiently, "that may be; but _this year_, if you please, we will go to Stratford Place."
I said no more, and it was settled that we should follow my uncle and aunt to town, and take up our residence with them. But the next day my mother, who thought the plan as foolish and disagreeable as I did, desired me to find out, if I could, why my husband consented to be the guest of a woman whose society was so offensive to him: "And if," said she, "it is because he cannot afford to take lodgings, you may tell him, that I have both means and inclination to answer all the necessary demands; and moreover I have a legacy of 2000 untouched, which I have always meant to give you, Helen, on the birth of your first child; and that also is at your service."
I shall pa.s.s over my feelings on this occasion, and my expression of them. Suffice that my husband owned his "poverty, and not his will, consented" to his acceptance of our relation's offer; and that he thankfully received my mother's bounty. The legacy, however, he resolved to secure to me, as my own property, and so tied up that he could not touch it. We found, however, that we must spend part of our time with my uncle and aunt; but at the end of ten days we removed to lodgings near them.
I was soon sensible of the difference between the present time in London and the past. I found that Pendarves, though his manner was as kind as ever, used to accept in succession engagements in which I had no share; and if it had not been for the society of Mr. and Mrs. Ridley, and my uncle and aunt, I should have been much alone; and have pined after my child and mother even more than I did. Still ardently indeed did I long to return home; and had I not believed I was at the post of duty, I should have urged my husband to let me go home without him.
Lord Charles was frequently with us, and, had I chosen it, would have been my escort every where: but I still distrusted him; and I suspect that it was in revenge he so often procured Pendarves dinner invitations, from which he rarely returned till day-light; and once he was evidently in such low spirits, that I was sure he had been at play, and had lost every thing.
We had now been several weeks in London, and I grew very uneasy at my prolonged separation from my child, and at my mother's evidently declining health--besides having reason to think that my husband would have enjoyed London more without me; for Lord Charles took care to tell me often, that had I not been with him, Pendarves would have gone thither; always adding, "So you see what a tame domestic animal you have made of him, and what a tractable obedient husband he is." There is perhaps nothing more insiduous and pernicious, than to tell a proud man that he is governed by a wife, or a mistress, provided he has great conscious weakness of character; and Lord Charles knew that was the case with Pendarves. And I am very sure that he accepted many invitations which he would otherwise have declined, because his insiduous friend reproached him with being afraid of me.
Ranelagh was still the fas.h.i.+on, and my husband had still a pride in showing me in its circles; but even there I was sensible of a change. He now was not unwilling to resign the care of me to other men, while he went to pay his compliments to das.h.i.+ng women of fas.h.i.+on, and give them the arm once exclusively mine. Still, these occasional neglects were too trifling to excite my fears or my jealousy, and I expected, when we returned to our country home, that it would be with unclouded prospects.
But while I dreamt of perpetual suns.h.i.+ne, the storm was gathering which was to cloud my hours in sorrow.
I had vainly expected a letter from my mother for two days,--and she usually wrote every day,--a circ.u.mstance which had depressed my spirits in a very unusual manner; and I was consequently little prepared to bear with fort.i.tude the abrupt entrance of my husband in a state of great agitation: but pale and trembling I awaited the painful communication which I saw he was about to make.
"Helen!" cried he, "if you will not or cannot a.s.sist me, I am likely to be arrested every moment."
"Arrested! What for?" cried I, relieved beyond measure at hearing it was a distress which money could remove.
"Aye, Helen, dearest creature! There is the pang--for a debt so weakly contracted!"
"Oh! a gaming debt to Lord Charles, I suppose?"
"No, no, would it were!--though I own that way also I have been very culpable."
"Keep me no longer in suspense, I conjure you."
"Why you know what a rash marriage that silly girl Charlotte Jermyn made."
"Go on."
"Well--her husband was forced to sell his commission to pay his debts: but that was not sufficient; and to save him from a jail, I had the folly to be bound for him in no less a sum than several hundreds."
"But who asked you? Are they in London?"
"They were."
"And you saw them?"
"Yes."
"Why did you not tell me they were here?"
"Because they were persons with whom I did not choose my wife to a.s.sociate."
"Were they fit a.s.sociates for you then?" was on my tongue, but I suppressed it; for mistaken indeed is the wife who thinks reproach can ever do ought but alienate the object of it.
"But did you often visit them? and what made them presume to apply to you?"
"Necessity. She wrote to me again and again, and she way-laid me too--what could I do? I was never proof against a woman's tears--and I was bound for him."
"Well, and what then?"
"Why, the rascal is gone off, and left his wife without a farthing, to maintain herself as she can."
"Is she in London?" cried I, turning very faint.