Fifty Contemporary One-Act Plays Part 69

MRS. LEZINSKY. How much you ask for that carriage, Mrs. Rooney?

MRS. ROONEY. Sure, and I'd let it go for a $5 bill, Mrs. Lezinsky.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_her face falls_]. Maybe you get that $5 ... Mrs. Rooney.

Those Cohens make money by that stationery business.

MRS. ROONEY. And sure, the secondhand man would pay me as much.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_longingly_]. My David and Julius and Benny--they never had such a baby-carriage--in all their lives they never rode in a baby-carriage. My babies was pretty babies, too. And smart, Mrs. Rooney!

You wouldn't believe it. My Benny was the smartest of the lot. When he was 18 months old, he puts two words together already.

MRS. ROONEY. He's a keener--that one. [_Unwraps the package._] I'm clean forgetting the basket. [_Holds it out to Mrs. Lezinsky's delighted gaze._] Now there you are--as good as new--Mrs. Lezinsky--and when you do be sticking the safety pins into the cus.h.i.+on [_she points out the cus.h.i.+on_] you can mind my Eileen. Some of the pinholes is rusty like, but the pins'll cover it--that it was herself gave your baby its first present.

MRS. LEZINSKY. O, Mrs. Rooney, such a beautiful basket! Such a beautiful, stylish basket!

MRS. ROONEY. And here's a box for the powder. [_Opens a celluloid box and takes out a powder puff._] And here's an old puff. Sure the puff will do if you're not too particular.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_handling the things_]. Why should I be so particular? In all their lives my David and Julius and Benny never had such a box and puff, I tell you, Mrs. Rooney.

MRS. ROONEY [_points_]. Them little pockets is to stick things in.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Should you give away such a basket, Mrs. Rooney?

MRS. ROONEY. What good is it but to clutter up the closet, knocking about in my way.

MRS. LEZINSKY. My David and Julius and Benny, they never had such a basket, but my cousin, Morris Schapiro's wife,--she had such a basket--for her baby. All lined with pink it was.

MRS. ROONEY. Pink is for boys. I wanted a girl, having Mickey then.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Me, too, Mrs. Rooney. Three boys! Now it's time it should be a little girl. Yes, Mrs. Rooney. A little girl like Eileen.

MRS. ROONEY. Sure, then, if you're going by the basket 'tis a little girl you have coming to you. Blue's for girls.... A comb and a brush for it--you can buy.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Combs and brushes! What should I do with combs and brushes? My David and Julius and Benny are all born bald.

MRS. ROONEY. Sure, Eileen had the finest head of curls was ever seen on a baby--little soft yellow curls--like the down on a bird.

MRS. LEZINSKY. If I should have a little girl--like your Eileen--my David and Julius and Benny--they die for joy over their little sister, I tell you, Mrs. Rooney. Yes, it should be a girl and I name her Eileen.

Such pretty names for girls: Eileen and Hazel and Gladys and Goldie.

Goldie's a pretty name, too. I like that name so much I call myself Goldie when I go to school. Gietel's my Jewish name. Ugly? Yes, Mrs.

Rooney? Goldie's better--much better. But Eileen's the best of all.

Eileen's a gorgeous name. I name her Eileen, I do a.s.sure you. She should have another name, too, for Solly. Zipporah, maybe--for her dead grandmother.

MRS. ROONEY. Sure, Eileen has a second name: Bridget. 'Tis for my mother in the old country. A saint's name. Her father chose it for her.

Bridget's a grand name--that--too.

MRS. LEZINSKY. Zipporah--that was Solly's mother.... But I call her Eileen.

MRS. ROONEY. That's a grand compliment, Mrs. Lezinsky, and 'tis myself would stand G.o.dmother for her should you be wanting me to.

MRS. LEZINSKY. I'm sorry, Mrs. Rooney, by our religion we don't have such G.o.d-mothers.

MRS. ROONEY. I'll be running on now not to keep you from your work and so much of it with your poor man and the drops in his sick eyes. Here!

[_She puts half a dollar into Mrs. Lezinsky's hand._]

MRS. LEZINSKY. For what?

MRS. ROONEY. For Mr. Lezinsky st.i.tching the collar on Eileen's coat.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_trying to make Mrs. Rooney take it back_]. Mrs.

Rooney--if you wouldn't insult me--please--when you bring all these lovely things.... [_Mrs. Rooney pushes the money away._] And so you sell that fine baby-carriage.... That carriage holds my Benny, too, maybe?

MRS. ROONEY. Sure. Easy.

MRS. LEZINSKY. My David and Julius--they could wheel that carriage. The little sister sleeps in it. And my Benny--he rides at the foot. $5 is cheap for that elegant carriage when you should happen to have so much money. I ask my Solly. Do me the favor, Mrs. Rooney--you should speak to me first before you give it to Mrs. Cohen--yes?

MRS. ROONEY. Sure I will. I'll be leaving the carriage outside and carry the child up. You and Mr. Lezinsky can be making up your minds. [_Mrs.

Rooney looks through the window at a man turning in from the street._]

Is it himself coming home?

MRS. LEZINSKY. Any time now, Mrs. Rooney, he comes from the doctor.

MRS. ROONEY. 'Tis not himself. 'Tis some customer.

MRS. LEZINSKY [_as the door opens_]. It's Mr. Rosenbloom.

MRS. ROONEY. See you later. [_Rushes out. Through the window Mrs.

Lezinsky watches her take the child out of the carriage._]

MRS. LEZINSKY [_sighs, turns to her customer_]. O, Mr. Rosenbloom! Glad to see you, Mr. Rosenbloom. You well now, Mr. Rosenbloom?

MR. ROSENBLOOM. Able to get around once more, Mrs. Lezinsky.

MRS. LEZINSKY. I hope you keep that way. You got thinner with your sickness. You lose your face, Mr. Rosenbloom. [_He hands her a coat and a pair of trousers._] Why should you bother to bring them in? I could send my David or Julius for them.

MR. ROSENBLOOM. Right on my way to the barber-shop. The coat's a little loose now. [_Slips off his coat and puts on the other._] Across the back. See?

MRS. LEZINSKY. He should take it in a little on the shoulders, Mr.

Rosenbloom?

MR. ROSENBLOOM [_considers_]. It wouldn't pay--so much alterations for this particular suit.

MRS. LEZINSKY. It's a good suit, Mr. Rosenbloom.

MR. ROSENBLOOM. He should just shorten the sleeves. Those sleeves were from the first a little too long.

[_He slips the coat off. Mrs. Lezinsky measures coat sleeve against his bent arm._]