Dress na Boku ga Yangotonaki Katagata no Katei Kyoushi-sama na Kudan Volume 1 Chapter 2

To make me into the King's bride!

The angelic princesses rubbed off the tears with their little hands, and lifted their expectant faces to look at the astonished me.

"Due to his divine looks and wisdom, everyone says that Lord Father is like a G.o.d. Even Queen Mother has been known to others as a G.o.ddess for her beauty, so neither the ministers nor the countrymen would accept an ordinary woman to be the bride of Lord Father."

"This should not be an issue for Glinda. You're after all a genius, just like Lord Father."

"That's right, even though you're incomparable in looks to Lord Father. I am sure no other country would have a Queen with horns and wings."

"Besides, Lord Father seems to be love-struck at Glinda at the moment they met."

I could only let out a dry laugh.

"Hahahaha…. Haha… Both Princesses must be exaggerating... How could such a lovely person be love-struck by a dinosaur like me?"

Laugh it off. There was no other way about it. My mind was now completely in chaos, incapable of sensible thought.

"But the way Lord Father has been looking at Glinda is so intense."

Oh! That actually seemed true! Those eyes were truly enough to raise goose b.u.mps under my skin!

"That has to be the 1st time that Lord Father looked so at another woman other than Mother."

W-was that so?

 "He even held your hands."

That's true. In fact, I felt the action a little too over-familiar, not to mention too close for comfort.

"Glinda, do you know that in Eren, males seldom hold the hands of females? That's because hand-holding represents the partners' common desire to spend their lives together forever. Unmarried couples don't even touch each other's hand when they are dancing because of that…"

Princesses Sarasa and Orie began to dance as they spoke, causing their lace-embroidered skirts to float lightly like the spinning petals of two pink flowers. Anyone with even slight lolicon tendencies would certainly be enraptured, but none of this registered with me.

So that was the meaning behind the hand-holding!

King Cecello liked ME?

I would become the new Queen of Eren…

"Both I and Orie would support Glinda as our new Mother."

"Elder brother Ryuuju and Elder Sister Seria may oppose, but both Sarasa and I would be on Glinda's side."

"So Glinda must like our Lord Father too! And, show us your horns too sometime."

"And picnic at the palace courtyard!"

"I would even tell you where the squirrels build their nests. So adorable…"

The princesses tugged at my skirt, chattering continuously.

Their blue eyes and round faces shone with happiness at having a new Queen Mother.

"Don't loose to Elder Brother Ryuuju, Glinda!"

"Fight! Glinda!"

The twin angels adorably punched up into the air to cheer me on, and then left with a clutter of footsteps.

I, on the other hand, was covered from head to toes in goose b.u.mps and cold sweat.

What kind of joke was this? It was barely tolerable for me to be forced into cross-dressing, and now they were going to make me a Queen??? I am a man! I have things that man ought to have!

I rushed out of the room. I must definitely protest to Helmut! I had never heard anything about being made Queen! Nooooo! Goose b.u.mps were popping up like a measles outbreak!

But…

"Lord Helmut has returned to Winstoria…"

"Huuuh!"

I had been left behind? Alone? So quickly?

I had been deceived - This fact stuck me like a bolt of lightning.

What should I do? If this continued, I would be made Queen! The cat would definitely be out of the bad the instant the clothes come off at the bridal chamber! Absolutely, most definitely exposed! Then, my head would roll for treason…

Nooooooooo! I don't wanna! I don't want to go bed with a man! Absolutely don't wanna be executed!

If I chased after Helmut now, I might still make it in time before the s.h.i.+p departed! Even though I had no idea where the port was located, I must still escape before I got forced to marry another man and then be executed!

Right! Run! Run now!

I would probably be discovered if I tried to escape via the corridor, so I returned to my room, opened the gla.s.s-door to the balcony and climbed over the parapet.

But I only discovered that this level was 5 stories high after I climbed over to the other side.

Glancing downwards, the lawn and fountains brightly lit by the moon and light from indoors looked so far away that my blood went cold from the view.

Ahhhhh! I would definitely die if I fell from here!

As I clunk for dear life at the parapet, my gown fluttered in the wind and hair flew wildly against my face.

Why hadn't I change out of the gown first?

The skirt was filled with air by the wind and nearly blew away like a balloon.

It was too late for regret, and rather than returning the way I came, it would probably be better if I continued my way downwards as that would decrease the chance of me sliding down by accident. Besides, my NEET arm-strength just would not allow me to climb upwards any more.

It must hurt to be executed, but falling down and breaking my neck seemed like it would hurt a lot too. I didn't want eitherrrr!!!

But my arms were gradually turning numb, and soon I could not feel my legs either.

Huh? Strange? Why was smoke raising out of the window over there?

White thick smoke, both warm and… could that possibly be a fire?

Trapped myself in this dangerous situation, I was certainly in no place to care about a fire breaking out elsewhere, but I found myself unable to ignore it either. So, sticking to the wall like a frog, I inched towards the window where the smoke spewed out of.

That which had looked so thick and white was actually steam.

There was a tub of boiling-hot water besides the window, and within it sat a familiar-looking boy.

Whoa!

When gla.s.s window went "Clob!", and the boy immediately stood up and turned in my direction.

Standing in the midst of the thick steam, the naked boy had a look of shock on his face.

I took in the entire scene while glued to the window.

I guess my gown was probably in a mess and torn from my trip down, and my tidied hair most probably had loosened and heaped all over my face.

As an aside, due to my lack of exercise, I was probably wheezing deeply with bloodshot eyes.

So I was gasping for breathe while I watched this stark naked boy - the heir-apparent to the throne of Eren - red-faced, brows lifted upwards, and face tightened.

Then…

"A-audacious fool!"

Prince Ryuuju screamed with a furious face as red as a barbequed squid.

"Whoaaaa! S-sorry!"

I sled down in a panic.

But, there was no foothold anywhere.

Rather than calling it sliding, it should be called falling... Whoa! Whoaaaaa!

As I clunk for dear life with my right hand at the parapet, my body swung like a pendulum. So this was the so-called, "situation of life and death"? Uhhhh… I must attempt to leap over to the balcony below.

I let go of both hands but due to the excess momentum, I did not land on the balcony, but was thrown towards the window. It was fortunate that the window had been opened, or I might have crashed into the gla.s.s.

Splas.h.!.+

At the sound of water splas.h.i.+ng, my entire body was wet.

Uwah! This was cold! Why would there be a pool inside the room?

My clothes weighed heavily as they soaked in the water, and I felt myself sinking… Help! I was about to be killed by cross-dressing!

As I began to panic, I discovered that the water was only knee deep even as water dripped from my hair and cuffs.

I brushed aside the hair on my face to find that this place was no pool, but a bath-tub filled with cold water.

There was even someone in the tub!

Silver hair that seemed spun out of moonlight, translucent jade white skin, delicate hand and neck, petal-like lips and violet crystal eyes.

The 9-year old beautiful princess of the king of divine beauty.

Princess Seira stared at me expressionlessly like a western doll.

I could only let out a soundless scream.

After just peeking in at the bathing Eldest Prince Ryuuju, I had the extreme chance of falling into bath of the Eldest Princess.

What destiny did I have with baths in general? Was I tied to the bathrooms by a red string of fate?

No, this was no time to escape from reality.

Even if it was just a 9 years old girl, children this age would already begin to say: "I don't want to take baths with daddy!"

Even if this was an accident, the situation of sharing a bath with a 9 year old girl was still highly atrocious. If dragged before a court of law, there was definitely no chance of appeal.

"T-That…Your humble servant… I mean, servant-girl is not a pervert, there is a reason for this…"

As I covered my face in explanation, Princess Seira made no reaction.

Won't she scream or call out?

I tried peeking from between the slits of my fingers, and saw that those pair of clear eyes just stared straight into me.

"That…"

"Uhhh…"

As I spiralled into confusion and wondered what to do next, Princess Seira finally opened her mouth.

"… Isn't Teacher going to strip?"

A clear and adorable, but flat and monotonous voice asked.

Teacher? Oh, was that supposed to be me?

"… Or is it that, everyone takes bath clothed in Teacher's home-country?"

"N-No, people in Winstoria also take off their clothes when they bath. Oh, it is said that the 17th Emperor Chenchito steadfastly refused to take off his robe and display his skin while bathing, so strictly speaking, that isn't the case for everyone… Argh, this has nothing to do with him though."

I stammered out a reply. How could this child possibly be so quiet?

If someone were to crash through the window while you were taking a bath, normally you would be alarmed too, right? Suspicious? Definitely. Guarded? Of course! Who would discuss the customs of baths under this kind of situations?!?

The Princess continued in a serious voice.

"… Then please take off your clothes."

"Huhuhu??? But! That! That would be very problematic!"

"Why? We are both girls here."

"You would be fine if it is a female? You find it alright to expose yourself to someone you have just met today?"

"… Yes."

She said in an even voice.

Please be more mindful of it! Even your elder brother covered himself with both hands, screamed "Audacious fool" with a red face! Or could it be that females were always this open to each other? Actually I had heard some atrocious tales about the boarding rooms of all-girls schools too…

"… If Teacher also had a habit of bathing clothed like Emperor Chenchito, it is not really appropriate of me to interfere with your personal choice."

"R-right! Your servant… no, servant-girl loves to take baths clothed!"

Whoa! This was the 2nd time I had a slip of tongue!

Princess Seira just looked at me unerringly.

Soft loose silver hair, having had all accessories and ribbons removed, floated dreamily in the bath-tub.

Water dripped from her small chin and long lashes onto her white chest.

The moist skin was snow-white, pure like a doll of frost, or an elf resting in the water.

Urgh… I was definitely no lolicon! Absolutely not!

My type consisted of sweet-smiling and gentle sixteen to seventeen-year old girls!

But my brain was steaming and heartbeats raced non-stop.

No, that was certainly not because I was a lolicon, it had to be because this child was too special. Perhaps it was her cold expressionless stare, or maybe because it was the nakedness, that felt unusually mature.

The problem was that she felt no threat by my presence, but just stared uninterestedly at me.

Not good! Should I stay here any longer, I might actually develop some strange inclinations! Wearing this gown for ladies, I would definitely be exposed as a pervert if anything extraordinary appeared on the lower portion of the skirt!

Besides, this bath was too cold.

At a second glance, there were even ice cubes floating atop the water! Why would she not mind it at all? I was already chattering in the teeth from the cold!

"I, I-i-i-i-i-i-I have 'warmed' up enough, and would humbly take my leave now. Oho."

I climbed out of the bath, splas.h.i.+ng water all over.

Right, I was still trying to escape from the palace and had no time to be distracted by a 9 year old girl.

But…

"… Teacher."

A cold little hand grasped mine.

"W-What is it?"

"… Isn't Teacher… here to see me?"

She said while still emotionless, tilting her head in query.

"Huh? N-no, that is not it."

This child was certainly strange.

Would any guest visit the bath that his host was currently taking a bath in? No doubt a pervert would.

"… is that so?"

"Then, your humble servant… no, servant-girl would be taking her leave. Apologies for the disturbance."

Ohhhh! I said the wrong things again! Let's flee before I made any more mistakes!

For whatever reasons, Princess Seira seemed to display a look of pity, or was it just my imagination? No, what was I even turning back for?

Princess Seira opened her mouth again.

"… Teacher, the soap is at your foot."

"Oh?"

As I felt uncertain, my foot suddenly slipped and my body plunged backwards.

So it seemed that there were paintings on the ceiling… of dragons and moon and ladies… paintings of legends crafted with extraordinary skills… While I pondered over such things, a 'bang' sounded from the back of my head and I experienced a tremendous concussion.

I had knocked the back of my head against the edge of the bath-tub.

Now was not the time to faint! Endure it!

You must fight! Sherlock Dolye!

But my head felt numb as my consciousness blurred over.

Nooooooo! What would happen to me next?!?

So warm.

I was covered by something soft and smelling of the sun. How comfy.

A clear song flowed into my ears.

"The Dragon watcheth over Seven doors;

Door of Water from which birth springeth,

Door of Light bearing G.o.d's name,

Door of Earth which all-encompa.s.seth,

Door of Fire that burneth away the soul,

Door of Flowers which confesseth love,

Door of the Night which summoneth beginning and the end.

Every Door is guardeth by the Dragon.

So sleep well, my lovely child"

Ohhh, what a lovely voice. Smooth and clear, but very gentle.

Wanting to know who was singing, I opened my eyes for a peek…

"Oh? You are a awake already?"

A girl of sixteen or seventeen peered at me with warm eyes and a gentle smile on her face.

Whoa… so pretty!

I still had yet to figure out what was going on, but was already mesmerized by the smile.

Rather than having a mature and beautiful woman, I much preferred this type of girl which gave off an amiable atmosphere of worldly gentleness.

The girl staring at me gave off a feeling of friendliness and loveliness that completely fitted into my type.

She had a smaller frame than me, was both energetic and graceful and a gait as delicate as a small bird with beautiful raven-black hair tied behind her head. A white-laced ap.r.o.n had been wound about her black western skirt.

A maid? Had we hired a maid in our house? Did Glinda hire a maid?

So wanted to be partners with this kind of girl… To stroll hand-in-hand out in the garden…

"Teacher fainted when she knocked her head against the side of the bath. Does it still hurt here?"

As I got up, she gently stroked the back of my head.

The gentle stroking was certainly comfortable, but it also brought me back to reality and struck me with fear.

That's right! I fell into the bath while Princess Seira was taking her bath, and accidentally fell when I slipped on a piece of soap.

Where was this place?

It was as luxurious as my own guestroom, so I was probably still in the city?

I glanced down and saw that I was clad in a nightgown for ladies. Whoa! Someone had helped me change into these clothes!

"W-w-w-w-who changed my c-c-c-clothes…"

"… It's I."

At the monotonous voice, I turned quickly.

Princess Seira was standing at the side, certainly no longer naked, but clad neatly with her hair beautifully tied.

"… As Teacher just fainted, I helped Teacher change out of the clothes… Before calling others."

She coldly said so while looking at me with purple crystal eyes.

"I-it must have been difficult?"

"… Yes."

"T-that, oh! … But… At that time… "

Had you seen my 'naked body'?

I wanted to ask, but could not put it into words.

Princess Seira was just as expressionless as a puppet, giving no hint of any emotions. If she had actually discovered that I was a male, would she still be this calm?

Might that mean that while she helped me change my clothes, she did not look once at my body?

Let's a.s.sume that was truly the case.

Even though my heart was in my throat, I could only thank Princess Seira.

"Thank you. Princess Seira is the saviour of my life."

"… Please don't mention it."

She replied in a calm voice.

Was this child truly only nine? Shouldn't nine-year old girls be richer of expressions?

Princess Seira looked as if she was completely uninterested in the rest of the world, and this was quite similar to Glinda.

Even though this was the case, she did not escape from my glance, but continued to stare at me.

"… That's right. Why did Teacher climb through my window dressed as such?"

My heartbeat nearly stopped.

To ask this just at this moment! She must have done it on purpose, right? Definitely on purpose!

"That, T-t-t-t-t-that was because… I am still unfamiliar around the palace, lost my way by accident, and somehow climbed over the balcony and ended up wall-climbing on the outside…"

H-how unpleasant.

Would anyone belief this? But since the opposite was just a child, maybe she would actually believe this…

Trembling, I stole a glance at Princess Seira, but she was as expressionless as before, as if to say. "Are you kidding me."

Aaaaaa! Guess it really wouldn't work!

At this, a smooth voice answered.

"Ara, that must have inconvenienced you greatly."

The maid looked at me with a face filled with sympathy.

"As Teacher has said, this palace is so huge that even now I loose my way around."

"R-really?"

She believed! She then continued seriously while gripping my hands adorably in hers.

"That's right! There was this time when I got lost in the woods just outside the castle and nearly froze to death before I was brought back; then this other time that I got lost in the changing room and was locked in for nearly half the day; There was still this other time that I wanted to clean the windows at the eastern tower, but somehow twisted my ankle at the wine cellar in the west; Or that time when I went up to the roof to sun out the blankets, but fell atop the apple trees below together with the blankets."

What a miracle that she managed to survive to this day.

"Teacher must also be very scared? I most definitely ~~~ understand it completely. Oh, so pitiable."

The maid said with warm tear-filled eyes.

"His Majesty has ordered me to come to tend to Ms Glinda. I too have wanted to come over myself, so I am truly happy. From now on, I would be careful not to let Ms Glinda get lost so you can safely move about the palace."

"T-thank you."

Despite being b.u.mbling and careless, she was such an honest and gentle girl.

Ohhh, I so wished I could go on a date with this girl in the gardens… but the thought of myself in cross-dress walking beside this maid next to the fountains sent me bowing my head in despair.

"Teacher has been sleeping for a while, so are you hungry? Is there anything you would like to eat? Be it porridge, soup or sandwiches, I can make it in an instant."

"Are you going to cook for me?"

"Yes, though I don't know whether it would be to Teacher's tastes. Oh, I specialise at dessert, and can also prepare red tea."

The maid blushed and said in embarra.s.sment.

Ohhhhhh! SO CUTE! That impeccable gesture and expression sent my heart pounding.

"Then may I have some dessert, red tea and some sandwiches, please."

I ordered a great deal directly.

"Alright."

The maid replied with a pure smile.

I could certainly live with this kind of conversation.

"I would be back soon."

She lightly left the room.

While I shyly watched the maid's departure, I suddenly remembered in fear.

Princess Seira was watching me listlessly.

"Haha… Hahaha… Looks like I have caused trouble for the Princess."

"… That's not so."

"That, isn't my chest somewhat small? Due to its flatness, I have sometimes been mistaken to be a boy, but I am really a girl. I normally have to stuff 5 layers of pads!"

Did I say too much?

"Also, my crotch has become swollen due to insect bites!"

"Crotch?"

"A, Ah! That is really uncouth of me! F-forget that I said anything!"

Calm down! Calm down now, Sherlock! Stop talking about crotches to little girls and change the topic of conversation!

"The maid just now looks so cute."

"… Yes."

"Is black hair rare in Eren?"

People in the kingdom of Eren typically had blonde hair and blue eyes, so black hair was a symbol of foreign origins.

"… Things have changed recently. Lord Father likes foreigners, and many foreigners are now working in the city."

Whoa! I had thought her a dull kid, but it seemed that she was actually pretty intelligent… This was nothing like what a nine-year old child would say, or was it that the children of royalty were all like this?

"… Teacher Glinda."

"Y-Yes?"

"… There's something I would like to ask of Teacher."

T-T-th-th-that, w-what was going to happen this time?

Princess Seira quietly looked at me who frantically tried to prepare myself, and then said.

"… Nevermind."

Her calm voice carried nothing strange or remarkable.

What was it about? The curiosity was killing me. Was she trying to bully me? Was this the so-called teacher-bullying?

As fear began to creep upon me, the maid returned.

"Sorry for the wait, Teacher Glinda."

The exuberating voice instantly flipped the foreboding atmosphere over.

Teapot and cups, sandwiches, tiny fruit tarts and a pound-cake made from cherry tomatoes and lime were spread atop a silver trolley.

The maid poured red tea into a teacup with a smile.

"Here, please enjoy."

"Wow thanks, I will tuck in."

I bit into a sandwich with slices of cuc.u.mber and ham within. The taste of mustard was a little heavy, but lightly sweetened and very tasty.

At my words of praise, the maid blushed happily.

"Thank you, please enjoy yourself."

"Enn."

The maid smiled in delight as she listened to my piled compliments of "Tasty" and "Excellent".

It felt so much like honeymoon. If only I was not dressed like a girl right now…

"Oh that's right. While I was asleep earlier, I felt as if I heard a song. Was that you?"

At my query, the maid shyly said.

"Yes. Sorry to have disturbed Teacher."

"There's no such thing! Your singing voice is divine! I have never heard such a lovely song."

As I said so, she flushed a fiery red throughout and cringed.

"No way… Teacher Glinda comes from the Winstoria Empire which is renowned for its culture and arts, where there has to be far better music. Please don't try to flatter me."

"This is no flattery. Your singing voice is more beautiful and touching than that of famed singers in Winstoria! "

She wiggled as the smile on her lips bloomed like a flower.

"T-that… I am very happy, thank you. It is said that the people of Winstoria Empire begin taking up music and composition at an early age. What instrument does Teacher play?"

I was drunk in her innocent smiling image as I replied.

"Enn… I dabble in the tambourine sometimes."

I blushed the moment those words left my mouth.

The tambourine, a wrist-sized bangle with seven bells attached on its ring. This was little more than a musical toy for small children. Having grown up in the capital city Vienna, which flourished in arts and music, and where families held orchestras on public holidays, I could hardly hold my head up even over my skills in the tambourine.

Glinda was of course proficient in both violin and piano, but even played the conductor to the Winstoria Empire's 1st cla.s.s orchestra in what became a legendary orchestral concert in the history of music. Countless audiences to that concert went away moved to tears dreamily.

For a musical genius as such to claim love for the tambourine… Ohhhhh!

I was so ashamed that the roots of my ears blushed red, but the maid simply displayed a gentle smile.

While the smile earlier bloomed with charm like a flower, the smile she gave me now emitted kindness and warmth, filling me with a sense of gladness.

"Wow… That's marvellous."

Was that just flattery? Or was she consoling me?

But the maid looked genuinely happy and glad, and she continued in a voice filled with emotions.

"I also loved the sound of tambourine. It sounds so adorable."

My heart nearly leaped out of my mouth.

I was filled over with her clear refres.h.i.+ng voice, warm words, gentle smile, all of which seemed to taste like honey.

Whoa! What should I do? I was fidgeting non-stop while my heartbeat raced.

Could this be…

B-But, I had just been ditched… and was wearing a breezy gown for ladies right now… , Ohho, even so I still…

I had completely disregarded the fact that a 9-year old girl was coldly staring at me nearby.

The joyful feeling of sugar overflowed from my chest as I barely stopped my nose from bleeding from the rush in my head.

This feeling - I recognized it as love.

"Well maybe it is alright to stay just a while longer."

The next day, I excused myself to rest from the exhaustion of my travels.

Both breakfast and lunch had been served by the cute pet.i.te black-haired maid.

The mere sight of her kind smile was enough to send my feelings fluttering to the sky. How great was the power of love.

Just a mere day before had I been trying to escape back to Winstoria Empire, but now I thought that it might be worth staying for a little while as Glinda's replacement if I could just enjoy this for a bit more.

Yes, since the targets are children aged between 5 to 11 years old, even I should be capable of teaching them some elementary mathematics while living luxuriously in this room at the expenses of Eren Kingdom.

Viewing it from another angle, was this not the ideal NEET life I had been aiming for?

"Ya, you can definitely do it, Sher-chan."

The smirking face of Diplomat Helmut surfaced in my brain.

Despite forcing me into cross-dress and kidnapping me into a faraway country, the swindler did give me this opportunity to encounter new love, so I probably should forgive him.

I should be the one thanking you instead. Thank you, Lord Helmut!

Also, thank you to Glinda who disappeared!

I must sing of the springtime of my life's fateful encounters!

Muah, that's certainly because I was in love.

Ohhhh, the joy!

I seemed to have forgotten something in my exuberance.

Something which I only remembered when evening fell.

The door suddenly opened, and maids filed into the room carrying evening dress, accessories and cosmetics.

"These are gifts from His Majesty to Lady Glinda. Tonight, there will be a special banquet to welcome back Her Majesty who had been absent for so long, and we have been ordered to come help Lady Glinda prepare for it."

At these words, I nearly fainted.

I had forgotten it completely! I was supposed to become the replacement for Queen!