The Widow's Vow Part 7

ANTONIO. A Lady, oh no--you are a tyger, a fury--

MARQUIS. I never met with such usage!--d.a.m.nation!

ANTONIO. What a profligate she is! I did not think such a word could come out of a woman's mouth!

MARQUIS. How, Sir!--Dare to say that again, and I'll nail you to the wall.

ANTONIO. (_Retreating._) Why, what is all this about? I won't fight--I only drew my sword to frighten you.

MARQUIS. To frighten me!--Did you think I was to be frightened?

ANTONIO. Why not? You see I am.

MARQUIS. Yes, I see, and scorn you for it.

COUNTESS. Why, Uncle, the tables are fairly turned upon you.

ANTONIO. Yes, Niece, and I'm much obliged to you, for your advice in the business--But you may depend upon it, I shall take care how I attempt to frighten one of your s.e.x again. (_Going._)

MARQUIS. Come back, Sir, I insist upon your coming back, and recalling what you have said--I insist upon your begging me pardon for your impertinent insinuation.--

ANTONIO. What insinuation?--That I think you a female?--I am sure there is no offence meant in that--for, when I suppose you a woman, I suppose you what I like better than anything in the world; what I am never happy without; and what I even make myself poor, despised, and ridiculous, in the daily pursuit of.

MARQUIS. And pray, Sir, in what, do I appear like a woman?

ANTONIO. And pray, Sir, in what, does any of our modern c.o.xcombs appear like a man? and yet they don't scruple to call themselves men.

MARQUIS. Then you will not recall your sentiments and beg my pardon?

ANTONIO. Beg your pardon?--No--Yes, yes--Put on your petticoats, and I'll fall at your feet as soon as you please.--

MARQUIS. I'll bear this no longer--Draw. (_Marquis draws._)

ANTONIO. Here Jerome, Jerome, come and defend me, where it would be a dishonour to defend myself.

_Enter_ JEROME.

ANTONIO. See, Jerome, how my life is a.s.sailed.

JEROME. Aye, your Honour, I always told you the women would be the death of you at last.

MARQUIS. You too, rascal!--

JEROME. Well, I declare with her sword in her hand, she is as fine a creature as ever I saw!--Oh you audacious minx.

MARQUIS. Scoundrel--

JEROME. Sure, your Honour, she must be the Maid of Orleans.

MARQUIS. I am no maid, Sir.

JEROME. I am sorry for your misfortune.

MARQUIS. Don Antonio, this treatment I suppose you inflict as a just recompence for my presumption in daring to hope for an alliance in your family, spite of the prejudice which I knew the Countess had conceived--I cannot deny the justice of the accusation--I came into her house with the vain hope----

COUNTESS. By no means _vain_--I am ready to comply, be your hopes what they will.

MARQUIS. Can I believe what you say real?

COUNTESS. Certainly--Were you going to say you hoped to marry me? If you were, call the Priest, and we'll be married immediately.

ANTONIO. Aye, if that is what your Lords.h.i.+p wants, the Priest shall tack you together in five minutes.

MARQUIS. This sudden consent staggers me--I was not prepared for it--one likes a little preparation before marriage as well as before death.

(_Aside._)

COUNTESS. What! you are cast down--alarmed--want to recant--but I won't let you--You _shall_ marry me--I insist upon it.

MARQUIS. What, directly?

COUNTESS. Yes, directly--I am in a hurry.

MARQUIS. I believe this is mere trifling--Swear you will marry me.

COUNTESS. I do swear.

MARQUIS. You are witness to the oath.

ANTONIO AND JEROME. We are witness.

_Enter_ SERVANT _with_ DONNA ISABELLA _veiled_.

SERVANT. A Lady, Madam, who says she is sister to the Marquis.

COUNTESS. Has the Marquis more sisters than one?

MARQUIS. No.

ANTONIO. Then this, I suppose, is your brother?

JEROME. Aye, in women's clothes--O dear, another fine sight!

COUNTESS. Oh Heavens, if it is a man, take him out of the room or I shall faint.

MARQUIS. Sister Isabella, when I shall relate to you the strange reception I have met with in this house, you will be amazed--but I think you will sincerely rejoice at the final event of my visit, when I tell you it is a solemn promise from this Lady to become my wife.