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The Widow's Vow Part 4

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ANTONIO. What's the matter with you?

JEROME. Sir, I was only--

ANTONIO. Only what? Leave the room.

JEROME. (_Aside._) Well I thought the old Don would have found out a woman in any disguise. [_Exit._

ANTONIO. My Lord, you may command my services and friends.h.i.+p, but I fear you will not rate them so highly as I could wish, as you must be debarred the acquaintance and society of my niece--You are no stranger to the vow she has taken?

MARQUIS. I am not--and yet I flatter myself the manner in which I am spoken of in these letters--

ANTONIO. Be certain, Sir, my niece shall receive them, urged with all my authority for an interview. Will your Lords.h.i.+p take a turn in the garden while I deliver them and enforce their contents?

MARQUIS. I will--and should you prove successful, Don Antonio, I shall ever retain the deepest sense of the obligation. [_Exit Marquis._

_Enter the_ COUNTESS.

ANTONIO. Niece, I was this moment coming to you, to bring you these letters from your uncle at Madrid, which you will find recommend, in the strongest manner, to your acquaintance, no other than the young Marquis our neighbour--as fine a youth as ever I saw.

COUNTESS. Ha, ha, ha--is he arrived?--

ANTONIO. Now in the house--What is the matter?--Did you hear of his intended visit?

COUNTESS. Yes--Ha, ha, ha--how does he look?

ANTONIO. Delightfully--I don't think I ever saw a handsomer man.

COUNTESS. _Man!_--Ha, ha, ha, I dare say he looks a little awkward?

ANTONIO. Aukward! No; he is as elegant in his deportment, and as fine, as finished a young fellow as ever I saw.

COUNTESS. (_After looking over the letter._) Certainly, I shall comply with my uncle's request--Let his Lords.h.i.+p be admitted.

ANTONIO. Niece, I always knew you could not keep your vow--I always knew the very first man that came in your way--crash it would go directly, but let me persuade you to break it by degrees, and not let the world say you made no struggle first.

COUNTESS. Struggle! Now, my dear Uncle, with all your deep discernment, particularly in regard to our s.e.x, to see you at last imposed upon delights me.

ANTONIO. Imposed upon!

COUNTESS. Yes; for this self-same Marquis is a woman.

ANTONIO. A woman!

COUNTESS. Yes; this "fine, elegant creature."

ANTONIO. That is, then, the very reason why I thought her so--"a fine creature,"--now that is intuition, instinct, love without knowing it--But, my dear niece, are you sure you are right? Are you sure you don't deceive me? Don't disappoint me--I can't bear a disappointment in a matter like this--I am vastly pleased, and a disappointment might be fatal.

COUNTESS. I a.s.sure you again a woman--sister to the Marquis--and has undertaken this scheme purely to make love to me, and turn me into ridicule.

ANTONIO. Now I think of it again, she _was_ devilish awkward--and I believe wore her sword on the wrong side.

COUNTESS. It is she herself depend upon it.

ANTONIO. To be sure it is--and I'll be hang'd if it did not strike me to be a woman the moment I laid my eyes on her--for she came up to me slipping and sliding, and tossing her head, just as the fine ladies do.

(_Mimicks._) Well--But what do you intend to do? I know what I intend to do.

COUNTESS. I shall carry on the scheme, and pretend to be deceived, till I turn the joke she designs for me, on herself.

ANTONIO. Yes; and I intend to have _my_ joke too.

COUNTESS. But you must keep the secret.

ANTONIO. I wo'nt say a word.

COUNTESS. Take his Lords.h.i.+p into the saloon, and I'll wait upon him immediately.

ANTONIO. Aye, my dear--and you need not be in a hurry--Egad, I like the joke of all things. [_Exit._

_Enter_ JEROME _and_ FLORA.

FLORA. Dear my Lady, have you seen her?

COUNTESS. Not yet.

FLORA. Well, I declare she looks as like a man!

COUNTESS. I shall certainly laugh in her face.

JEROME. Oh no, don't laugh--Never give your mind to laughing--I did not even smile, but kept my countenance as steady--just thus--Did not I, Flora? Oh--'tis such a weakness to laugh--Look just so--as I do now--

COUNTESS. I must away to the trial, however--come with me to the door, Flora.

JEROME. And be sure you don't laugh--Think on me, and keep your countenance--if you can.

(_Exit Countess and Flora on one side and Jerome on the other._)

END OF THE FIRST ACT.

ACT II.

SCENE I.

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