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_Thou knowest, that it is not any perverseness of will, but just perswasions of Honour, Reason, and Religion, which have made me thus far to hazard my Person, Peace, and Safetie, against those that by force have sought to wrest them from me._
_Suffer not my just resolutions to abate with my outward Forces; let a good Conscience alwaies accompany me in my solitude and desertions._
_Suffer me not to betray the powers of Reason, and that fortresse of my Soul which I am entrusted to keep for thee._
_Lead me in the paths of thy righteousnesse, and shew me thy salvation._
_Make my waies to please thee, and then thou wilt make mine enemies to be at peace with me._
23. _Upon the_ Scots _delivering the_ KING _to the_ English, _and His Captivity at_ Holmeby.
Yet may I justifie those _Scots_ to all the world in this. That they have not deceived me; for I never trusted to them further then to men: if I am sold by them, I am only sorry they should do it: and that My price should be so much above My Saviors.
These are but further Essays which G.o.d will have Me make of mans uncertainty, the more to fix Me on himself, who never faileth them that trust in him; though the Reeds of _aegypt_ break under the hand of him that leans on them, yet the Rock of _Israel_ will be an everlasting stay and defence.
G.o.ds Providence commands Me to retire from all to himself, that in him I may enjoy My Self, which I lose, while I let out My hopes to others.
The solitude & captivity to which I am now reduced, gives Me leisure enough to study the worlds vanity and inconstancie.
G.o.d sees 'tis fit to deprive Me of Wife, Children, Armie, Friends, and Freedom, that I may be wholly his, who alone is all.
I care not much to be reckoned among the Unfortunate, if I be not in the black List of irreligious and sacrilegious Princes.
No Restraint shall ensnare my Soul in sin; nor gain that of me which may make my Enemies more insolent, my Friends ashamed, or my Name accursed.
They have no great cause to triumph, that they have got my Person into their power; since my Soul is still my own: nor shall they ever gain my Consent against my Conscience.
What they call obstinacie, I know G.o.d accounts honest constancie, from which Reason and Religion, as well as Honor, forbid Me to recede.
'Tis evident now, that it was not Evil Counsellors with Me, but a good Conscience in Me, which hath been fought against; nor did they ever intend to bring Me to my Parliament, till they had brought My mind to their obedience.
Should I grant what some men desire, I should be such as they with Me, not more a King, and far less both Man and Christian.
What Tumults and Armies could not obtain, neither shall Restraint; which though it have a little of safety to a Prince, yet it hath not more of danger.
The fear of men shall never be my snare; nor shal the love of any liberty entangle my soul: Better others betray me, then my self: and that the price of my liberty should be my conscience; the greatest injuries my Enemies seek to inflict upon me, cannot be without my own consent.
While I can deny with Reason, I shall defeat the greatest impressions of their malice, who neither know how to use worthily what I have already granted; nor what to require more of me but this, That I would seem willing to help them to destroy my self and mine.
Although they should destroy me, yet they shall have no cause to despise me.
Neither liberty nor life are so dear to me, as the peace of my Conscience, the Honor of my Crowns, and the welfare of my People; which my word may injure more then any War can do; while I gratifie a few to oppresse all.
The Laws wil by G.o.ds blessing, revive, with the love and Loyaltie of my Subjects; if I bury them not by my Consent, and cover them in that grave of dishonor and injustice, which some mens violence hath digged for them.
If my Captivity or Death must be the price of their redemption, I grudge not to pay it.
No condition can make a King miserable, which carries not with it, his Souls, his Peoples, and Posterities thraldom.
After-times may see, what the blindnesse of this Age will not; and G.o.d may at length shew my Subjects, that I chuse rather to suffer for them, then with them; happily I might redeem my self to some shew of liberty, if I would consent to enslave them: I had rather hazard the ruine of one King, then to confirm many Tyrants over them, from whom I pray G.o.d deliver them, what ever becomes of me, whose solitude hath not left me alone.
_For thou, O G.o.d, infinitely Good, and Great, art with me, whose presence is better then life, and whose service is perfect freedom._
_Own me for thy Servant, and I shall never have cause to complain for want of that liberty which becomes a Man, a Christian, and a King._
_Blesse me still with Reason, as a Man; with Religion, as a Christian; and with constancie in Justice, as a King._
_Though thou sufferest me to be stript of all outward ornaments, yet preserve me ever in those enjoyments wherein I may enjoy thy self; and which cannot be taken from me against my will._
_Let no fire of affliction boile over my pa.s.sion to any impatience or sordid fears._
_There be many that say of me, There is no help for me: do thou lift up the light of thy Countenance upon me, and I shall want neither Safetie, Libertie, nor Majestie._
_Give me that measure of patience and constancie which my condition now requires._
_My strength is scattered, my expectation from Men defeated, my Person restrained: O be not thou far from me, lest my enemies prevail too much against me._
_I am become a wonder, and a scorn to many: O be thou my helper and defender._
_Shew some token upon me for good, that they that hate me may be ashamed, because thou Lord, hast holpen and comforted me; for establish me with thy free Spirit, that I may do and suffer thy will, as thou wouldst have me._
_Be mercifull to me, O Lord, for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, and in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, untill these calamities be over-past._
_Arise to deliver me, make no long tarrying, O my G.o.d. Though thou killest me, yet will I trust in thy mercy, and my Saviours merit._
_I know that my Redeemer liveth; though thou leadest me through the vail and shadow of death, yet shall I fear none ill._
24. _Upon their denying His Majestie the Attendance of His Chaplains._
When providence was pleased to deprive Me of all other civil comforts and secular attendants, I thought the absence of them all might best be supplied by the attendance of some of my Chaplains, whom for their Function I reverence, and for their Fidelitie I have cause to love.
By their Learning, Pietie, and Praiers, I hoped to be either better enabled to sustain the want of all other enjoyments, or better fitted for the recovery and use of them in G.o.ds good time; so reaping by their pious help a spiritual harvest of grace amidst the thorns, and after the plowings of temporal crosses.
The truth is, I never needed or desired more the service and a.s.sistance of men judiciously pious, and soberly devout.
The solitude they have confined me unto, adds the wildernesse to my temptations: For the company they obtrude upon me, is more sad then any solitude can be.
