Fanny and the Servant Problem - LightNovelsOnl.com
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THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. My dear boy!
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. But we didn't expect you -
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. And your wife, dear?
VERNON. She's here!
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Here?
f.a.n.n.y, from behind the screen, laughs.
VERNON. We'll have some light. [He whispers to them.] Not a word-- haven't told her yet. [Feeling his way to the wall, he turns on the electric light.]
f.a.n.n.y is revealed, having slipped out from behind the screen. There is a pause. Vernon, standing near the fire, watches admiringly.
f.a.n.n.y. Hope you are going to like me.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. My dear, I am sure we shall.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. It is so easy to love the young and pretty. [They have drawn close to her. They seem to hesitate.]
f.a.n.n.y [laughs]. It doesn't come off, does it, Vernon, dear? [Vernon laughs. The two ladies, laughing, kiss her.] I'm so glad you think I'm pretty. As a matter of fact, I'm not. There's a certain charm about me, I admit. It deceives people.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. We were afraid--you know, dear, boys-- [she looks at Vernon and smiles] sometimes fall in love with women much older than themselves--especially women--[She grows confused.
She takes the girl's hand.] We are so relieved that you--that you are yourself, dear,
f.a.n.n.y. You were quite right, dear. They are sweet. Which is which?
VERNON [laughs]. Upon my word, I never can tell.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Vernon! And you know I was always your favourite!
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Dear!
VERNON. Then this is Aunt Alice.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. No dear, Edith.
[Vernon throws up his hands in despair. They all laugh.]
f.a.n.n.y. I think I shall dress you differently; put you in blue and you in pink. [She laughs.] Is this the drawing-room?
VERNON. Your room, dear.
f.a.n.n.y. I like a room where one can stretch one's legs. [She walks across it.] A little too much desk [referring to a ma.s.sive bra.s.s- bound desk, facing the three windows].
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. It belonged to the elder Pitt.
f.a.n.n.y. Um! Suppose we must find a corner for it somewhere. That's a good picture.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. It is by Hoppner.
f.a.n.n.y. One of your artist friends?
VERNON. Well--you see, dear, that's a portrait of my great- grandmother, painted from life.
f.a.n.n.y [she whistles]. I am awfully ignorant on some topics. One good thing, I always was a quick study. Not a bad-looking woman.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. We are very proud of her. She was the first -
VERNON [hastily]. We will have her history some other time.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL [who understands, signs to her sister].
Of course. She's tired. We are forgetting everything. You will have some tea, won't you, dear?
f.a.n.n.y. No, thanks. We had tea in the train. [With the more or less helpful a.s.sistance of Vernon she divests herself of her outdoor garments.]
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [she holds up her hands in astonishment].
Tea in the train!
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. We were not expecting you so soon. You said in your telegram -
VERNON. Oh, it was raining in London. We thought we would come straight on--leave our shopping for another day.
f.a.n.n.y. I believe you were glad it was raining. Saved you such a lot of money. Old Stingy!
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Then did you walk from the station, dear?
f.a.n.n.y. Didn't it seem a long way? [She laughs up into his face.]
He was so bored. [Vernon laughs.]
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. I had better tell--[She is going towards the bell.]
VERNON [he stops her]. Oh, let them alone. Plenty of time for all that fuss. [He puts them both gently side by side on the settee.]
Sit down and talk. Haven't I been clever? [He puts his arm round f.a.n.n.y, laughing.] You thought I had made an a.s.s of myself, didn't you? Did you get all my letters?
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. I think so, dear.
f.a.n.n.y [she is sitting in an easy-chair. Vernon seats himself on the arm]. Do you know I've never had a love-letter from you?
VERNON. You gave me no time. She met me a month ago, and married me last week.
f.a.n.n.y. It was quick work. He came--he saw--I conquered! [Laughs.]
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. They say that love at first sight is often the most lasting.
VERNON [he puts his arm around her]. You are sure you will never regret having given up the stage? The excitement, the -
