The Miller Of Old Church - LightNovelsOnl.com
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He hesitated an instant and then answered: "I honestly believe that it is the best thing for you to do."
Instead of producing the effect he had foreseen his advice brought a luminous moisture to her eyes.
"I suppose you think it would do me good to be preached to three times a day?" she rejoined.
"Well, I believe it wouldn't hurt you, Molly," he responded with a smile.
His att.i.tude of renouncement drew her suddenly nearer.
"It wasn't about Mr. Mullen that I came to talk to you--there is something else."
"Surely you aren't thinking of Jim Halloween?"
"No, no, it isn't a man. Why do you seem to think that the beginning and middle and end of my existence is a man? There are times when I find even a turkey more interesting."
"It is about a turkey, then, that you have come to see me?"
"Oh, no, it's a man, after all, but not a lover--he's Mr. Chamberlayne, the lawyer, from Applegate. Yesterday when he was spending the day at the big house, he came over to see me."
"Had he never seen you before?"
"Of course, when I was little--and later he took me to school in Applegate. I was to stay there until I was twenty-one you know, but I ran away the second year because grandfather fell ill with pneumonia and there was no one to look after him. You remember that, don't you?"
"Yes, I remember. I picked you up on the road and brought you home in my gig. There was a heavy snow storm."
"It seems that I was meant to be educated as a lady. Old Mr. Jonathan left a letter about it."
"He did?--d.a.m.n him! Why didn't he save himself the trouble by acting decently in the beginning?"
"That was because of Mrs. Gay--he had promised her, when he thought she was dying, some dreadful thing. And after that he was afraid--afraid of her all his life. Isn't it terrible that such a saintly person should have caused so much sin?"
"But what was she to him that he should have been such a coward about her?"
"Oh, he loved her more than anything on earth--for he loved my mother only a little while. When Mrs. Gay first came to live with him, she was so beautiful and so delicate, that she looked as if a wind would blow her away--so soft that she could smother a person like a ma.s.s of feathers. He felt after that that he had entangled himself, and it was only at the last when he was dying that he had any remorse. With all his wickedness there was a terrible kind of religion in him--like a rock that is buried under the earth--and he wanted to save his soul alive before he pa.s.sed on to judgment. As if _that_ did any good--or he _could_ make amends either to me or to G.o.d."
"I rather hope he was as unsuccessful in the last case as in the first.
But, tell me, Molly, how does it affect you?"
"Not at all--not at all--if he has left me money, I shall not touch it.
He wasn't thinking of mother, but of his own soul at the end, and can you tell me that G.o.d would wipe out all his dreadful past just because of one instant's fear?"
Her pa.s.sion, so unlike the meekness of Janet Merryweather, made him look at her wonderingly, and yet with a sympathy that kept him dumb. It took the spirit of a Gay to match a Gay, he thought, not without bitterness.
"But why does Mr. Chamberlayne come to you now?" he asked, when he had regained his voice.
"It is Mrs. Gay--it has always been Mrs. Gay ever since Mr. Jonathan first saw her. She smothered his soul with her softness, and wound him about her little finger when she appeared all the time too weak to lift her hand. That's just the kind Mr. Mullen preaches about in his sermons--the kind that rules without your knowing it. But if she'd been bold and bad instead of soft and good, she couldn't have done half the harm!"
"And Miss Kesiah?" he asked, "had she nothing to do with it?"
"She? Oh, her sister has drained her--there isn't an ounce of red blood left in her veins. Mr. Jonathan never liked her because she is homely, and she had no influence over him. Mrs. Gay ruled him."
"I always thought her so lovely and gentle," he said regretfully, "she seems to me so much more womanly than Miss Kesiah."
"I suppose she is as far as her face goes, and that's what people judge by. If you part your hair and look a certain way nothing that you can do will keep them from thinking you an angel. When I smile at Mr. Mullen in church it convinces him that I like visiting the sick."
"How can you laugh at him, Molly, if you are going to marry him?"
"Have you positively decided," she inquired, "that I am going to marry him?"
"Wasn't that what you meant when you threw me over?"
She shook her head, "No, it wasn't what I meant--but since you've made up your mind, I suppose there's no use for me to say a word?"
"On the whole I don't think there is--for your words are not honest ones."
"Then why do you judge me by them, Abel?" she asked very softly.
"Because a man must judge by something and I can't look into your heart.
But if I'm not to be your lover," he added, "I'll not be your plaything.
It's now or never."
"Why, Abel!" she exclaimed in mock astonishment.
"It's the last time I shall ever ask you--Molly, will you marry me?"
"You've forgotten poor Mr. Mullen."
"Hang Mr. Mullen! I shall ask you just three times, and the third time will be the last--Now, Molly will you marry me? That's the second."
"But it's so sudden, Abel."
"If ten years can't prepare you, ten minutes will be no better. Here goes the third and last, Molly---"
"Abel, how _can_ you be so silly?"
"That's not an answer--will you---"
"Do you mean if I don't promise now, I'll never have the chance again?"
"I've told you--listen---"
"Oh, wait a minute. Please, go slowly."
"--Marry me?"
"Abel, I don't believe you love me!" she said, and began to sob.
"Answer me and I'll show you."