Evil God Average Book of God – 20

‘my pace’ means ‘doing things your own way, at your own pace, without heed to what other people think’. Often used to describe really carefree (and maybe airheaded) people, or sometimes people who basically don’t sweat the details and do whatever.

“I… want to live as a human.”

To begin with, what I wanted was to live in peace. I had already come to terms with turning into a divine, but if I was told that I could take back my life as a human, as I thought, I really did want it.

If I can spend time with Tena, Lili and Leonora, then there isn’t any reason to choose otherwise.

“I see. Well then, I’ll separate you, so stand over there.”

I obeyed his words, and stood up from the round table, moving a little distance away.

“Well then, here we go.”

Together with his words, I closed my eyes in preparation for the shock. But there wasn’t any shock like I expected, and instead I felt something leave from all around my entire body.

“Okay, done.”

Opening my eyes at his words, in front of me stood a person who was my spitting image.

I opened my mouth to say something to the 『me』 who I had pushed the position and responsibilities of a G.o.d onto, but before I could, something strange happened.

O-, Oww… For some reason my limbs had a dull pain.

“For some reason it hurts.”

“I wonder if it’s growth pains. When you turned into a divine you stopped growing, but now you’re getting a whole year’s worth.”

When I muttered, the Evil G.o.d explained it to me.

It’s not a sharp pain, but a dull one.

“Are you okay, Tena?”

Tena who had become an apostle was the same in that she stopped growing. No, since I was closer to fully-grown, it should have hurt for her even more. Getting worried about her, I called out to her, and she answered while enduring the pain.

“Y-, Yes… My limbs and chest hurt, but I can bear with this much.”

Chest? Now that I looked closer, Tena certainly was holding her chest in pain. Why? Even though I didn’t feel anything at all…
I found everyone giving me a lukewarm and slightly pitiful look, so for now I decided to hold my chest as well… The gazes became even more lukewarm. Why.

It still hurt, but it was feeling a lot better, so I decided to continue our first encounter.
I looked again at the 『Me as a G.o.d』 standing before my eyes. Her face, stature and clothing were the spitting image of me, but she really did seem to have a different sort of presence somehow. The girl in front of me was a purer divine, so I suppose that was natural though.

“I’ve ended up pus.h.i.+ng everything onto you, but…”

“Don’t worry about it. In the end, your memories and feelings will end up back with me. Go enjoy your life as a human.”

Both of us were me, so a fight might have been inevitable, but hearing 『Me as a G.o.d』 say that made the guilt ease up a little.

“Got it. Anyway, there’s something I’d like to discuss…”

The 『Me as a G.o.d』 looked blankly at me. I wondered if this was how I looked to everyone else, and started feeling a little embarra.s.sed.

“Give me money.”

This was probably the first time I’ve been stared at by myself, huh.

The 『Me as a G.o.d』 would probably continue to live in the temple, but if I was going to enjoy my lifetime as a human, then I couldn’t just stay holed up in the temple forever. Because of that, whether I was buying my own home, or staying at an inn, money was needed.
Whether our fortune right now belonged to the 『Me as a G.o.d』 or the 『Me as a Human』 was difficult to say, but the money earned by the 『Me as a G.o.d』 was greater, so I’d be at a disadvantage if I didn’t take action right now. I needed to win this negotiation right here. She opened her mouth.

“7:3”

“Who gets the 7?”

“Me of course.”

“That’s way too unbalanced. To begin with, you don’t even need that much money as a G.o.d. 5:5”

“That’s taking too much. It was money earned as the Evil G.o.d. 6:4”

The battle of negotiation continued for a while, but mn, as expected of 『me』. She was a tough foe.

Having said that though, now that the match with Sophia and Anbaal was over, I’d be giving them back to the Heroes with conditions attached. I gained the right to giving the Heroes conditions──orders──you could say.

“You truly are a…”

“Well, she’s the one with tha 『Greed』 Authority after all.”

“Anri-sama…”

“Ahahaha, you really are funny.”

While we were absorbed in negotiating, the people around us gave incredibly astonished stares.
Incidentally, Leonora was falling into a dogeza as usual, while Lili still hid behind Tena. Now that there were two people with mystic eyes here, apparently it became difficult to avoid.

“There are two Anri-samas!? Have my prayers borne fruit?”

“Calm down.”

And what the heck were you praying for.

No matter where I decided to live, as long as I looked just like the 『Me as a G.o.d』, various problems would occur if I didn’t meet the Pope first, so I went to meet him, but the very moment that he saw there were two of us he went as said that.
Well, I say ‘meet’, but in a sense we already knew each other, so it was mainly telling him the circ.u.mstances, but it felt like I was going to be exhausted from the very beginning.

“I see. I understand the situation now. In other words, the 『Anri-sama as a G.o.d』 will continue to bless the temple with her presence, while the 『Anri-sama as a Human』 will be living in the worldly realm.”

“Worldly r-…

In the sense of separating the world that the humans lived in from the world of the G.o.ds, it wasn’t an incorrect expression, but I’m not sure how to feel about using ‘worldly realm’ to describe a place that’s just a floor below this one.

“Now then, where will you be living? If necessary, I could prepare a room on the 3rd floor, but…”

I sank into thought for a while.

I suppose the best idea might be to build an estate or something a little distance from town.
Thankfully I had the money needed, as well as the workers.

“I’ll build an estate outside of town and live there. Could I trouble you to prepare the architects, and a place for me to stay until the construction is finished?”

“Understood. I shall immediately make the preparations. Please use the room on the 3rd floor until the construction is complete.”

Having said that, the Pope hurriedly left the audience room and left.

“Now then, guess it’s about time to leave.”

“Got it. If anything comes up, contact me.”

I’ve got my luggage after all, and I’ve got the 40% of the money too. I’m all ready to depart. Well, though I say depart, until the estate is finished I’ll still be staying in a room in the temple or in an inn in this town though.

Also, in regards to the Holy Sword, the Holy Spear, and the Holy Bow, for a while we dealt with their rampage by keeping them in a sealed room, but thinking about it, it would just be fine if I chucked it into my item box, or so I realised. Well, I’m leaving with them now so it’s too late to matter though.

I left the room, and called out to the three waiting for me.

“Tena, Lili, Leonora… Are you ready to leave?”

“Yes, everything is fine.”

“Yes.”

“Yeah, I’m fine too.”

These three were going to leave the temple with me. But since Leonora was originally in this country as a point of contact with the Demon Race Nation, rather than living with us, the plan was to go back and forth between the estate and the temple.

Having left the audience room, I took the stairs down from the 4th floor, and headed into the 3rd floor.

The only follower who had met me directly was the Pop, so it’s impossible that they all knew exactly what I looked like. There might have been people who saw me when I became a divine, but it was a year ago and they saw me from afar too, so there shouldn’t be any problems there either.

“Speaking of which, are you still carrying that doll?”

“Well, it’s because you wouldn’t take it away from me… Can’t you do so already?”

Leonora had been carrying the doll ever since. It was already something normal in everyone’s minds, so I secretly felt that it might be fine to continue like this.
Also, even if she told me to take it away──

“It’s impossible. I can’t take it off you anymore.”

“Hah!? What do you mean?”

“The only one who can remove it is the 『Me as a G.o.d』. Now that I’m a  human again, I can’t take it off you.”

Right. The only reason I overcame the curse was because I became a divine. Now that I was a human again, I couldn’t do anything about the doll anymore.
Mn? Just now I feel like I overlooked something really important.

“Wait, then does that mean I have to stay like this forever?”

“If it was the 『Me as a G.o.d』 then they could probably take it off you, but we only just left the temple, so I won’t go back there for now. It suits you, so why not just stay that way?”

“Please spare me…”

Leonora’s shoulders drooped, crestfallen. But well, if I feel like it, I’ll contact the 『Me as a G.o.d』 and have her take it away. If I feel like it, that is.

*imouto*

While we were chatting, we made it as far as the large doors of the 3rd floor entrance. What lay beyond here was in a sense the first step into a new life.

Beyond the doors was a large room, and a few people moving about. They heard the sound of the door open, and in reflex, they stopped what they were doing to look our way.
I unconsciously winced at having lots of gazes on me, but since I was a human again meaning they weren’t particularly focused on me, I pulled myself together.

*imouto*

*imouto*

*imouto*

──But in the next instant, everybody in the room fell into dogeza together.

Why? Or so I wondered, but an idea immediately came to me, and I checked my status in a panic.

“Status.”

*imouto*

Name: Anri

s.e.x:      Female

Job:      Mage [OLD]

t.i.tle:    Evil Person of Fearful Trembling, Dungeon Master, Weirdo

Skills:

– Mystic Eyes of Wicked Authority (Lv.5)

– Abnormal Status Resistance (Lv.6)

– Item Box (Lv.4)

Equipment:

– Dress of the Black Death Rose

– Scanties of the Succubus

Kin:
– Tena [OLD]

*imouto*

So the skills really did just get left behind…

Or rather, thinking about it, Tena is my kin, so it made sense that I would still have my divine enchantment. I should have noticed earlier.

『Evil G.o.d of Fearful Trembling(戦慄の邪神)』 turned into

『Odd G.o.d(変神; henjin)』 turned into

Didn’t they do nothing but replace 『G.o.d(神)』 with 『Human(人)』?
Or rather, who the h.e.l.l are you calling 『Weirdo』.

Still irritated, I struck at the status screen with the fan in my hand, but of course it just pa.s.sed through, and the words didn’t change.
At that moment, I suddenly noticed that I had a fan in hand, and started to get a bad feeling.

I placed the fan down, and picked up a paper-knife from atop a nearby desk.
…And in the very next moment, the fan leapt up from the ground, and knocked the paper-knife from my hand.

Aah, I knew it…
It seems that because I returned to being a human, the curse that I should have conquered went back to how it was before. Am I going to return to the lifestyle of wearing nothing but the one outfit again?

“Anri, what’s wrong?”

Seeing me troubled, Leonora still with doll in hand, spoke to me in worry.

Is this my punishment for saying that Leonora should hold onto the doll for a while?
Curses are like chickens; they always come home to roost. This was a pretty weird curse though.

*imouto*

I spent a while after that with my head in my arms, but in the end there was nothing I could do about it, and decided to just think of it as going back to what was normal before.
More importantly was the issue of what to do with the people around me still in dogeza.

Normal people would just run away when they see my eyes, so did the fact that they were in dogeza mean that they were more emotionally strong than average? Or could it be that because they spent all that time in this country that they got used to the power of the Evil G.o.d?

In that case, there was one answer…

“Strategic retreat.”

The ancient Chinese had the 36 Strategems, and the best of them all was the retreat. While everybody is still facing down in their dogeza, we’ll fake it and pretend that it wasn’t us. It’s not too late to play it off as their imagination …I wish.

Having concluded as such, I activated the teleport circle, and together with the three of them, I immediately moved to the temple entrance.

Thankfully we teleported somewhere out of sight, so the worry about being surrounded by people all of a sudden ended without a problem.

“D-, Don’t just suddenly teleport us.”

“That surprised me.”

“Uu…”

Leonora, Tena and Lili complained to me about being suddenly teleported, but it couldn’t be helped in that situation. I paid them no heed, and had a peek through the temple entrance. It wasn’t as though there was n.o.body around at all, but there weren’t too many people. If we walked out now, we wouldn’t be noticed.

“Let’s go.”

“Honestly…”

“Yes.”

“Understood.”

With Leonora, Lili and Tena, I pa.s.sed through the temple door.

*imouto*

*imouto*

It was just about noon, and the high sun shone down brightly on our surroundings.

Breathing in the first fresh air in a while felt incredibly refres.h.i.+ng.

*imouto*

…Huh? Could it be that this was the very first time I’ve been outside since becoming a divine a year ago?
No, no, that kind of thing can’t be… can’t be… actually, it might be.

*imouto*

Shuddering at the realisation that I’d become a hikikomori, I suddenly noticed something odd in sight, and turned my attention to it.
There was some kind of construction going on next to the temple, and it looked like some kind of huge building was being built. But it looked somehow different to normal buildings. It wasn’t all that wide, but the height was about half of the temple’s. What’s more, since they were in the middle of construction, it seemed like it was going to be even taller.

“Tena, do you know what that is?”

Amongst the four of us, the one most knowledgable of the Thearchy’s situation was Tena, so I decided to try asking her. Tena tilted her head at my question, looked towards the construction site from just now, and then nodded before replying.

“Eh? Aah, that construction job over there? Mr. Pope said that he was erecting a statue of you, Anri-sama.”

He seriously went ahead with that!?

No, but, the only one who really knows my face is the Pope, and if the workers haven’t seen me, the statue shouldn’t look all too alike…

“I heard that Mr. Pope designed the blueprints himself, you know? I had the chance to see it as well, but the drawings were splendid and looked exactly like you, Anri-sama! That person is quite good with drawing too, isn’t he.”

“Yeah, that drawing certainly was amazing.”

Don’t suddenly display your talents in needless areas.

A plan as large as that was basically a national project already, and if I called it off halfway, I wouldn’t be able to avoid affecting various parts of the Thearchy.

“I heard that the completed statue is planned to be as tall as the temple. I’m sure that there is a good chance it will be visible even from the neighbouring Kingdom.”

I’ve decided. Before the statue is complete, I’m going to get as far away from it as possible. And then I’m going to live in hiding.

*imouto*

*imouto*

*imouto*

*imouto*

*imouto*

*imouto*

I thought that this time for sure, I would be living a normal life as a human, but it seems that I really am destined for drama.

*imouto*

Even so, even back when I turned into an Evil G.o.d, I tried my best in order to smile together with everyone.

*imouto*

So that’s why now that I’m a human again, there’s no reason that I can’t try my best as well.

*imouto*

One day, when I return to the other me, so that I can tell her that I lived my life to the fullest,

*imouto*

I’ll continue to walk ahead, not as the Evil G.o.d, but as the regular Anri.

*imouto*

*imouto*

*imouto*

*imouto*

*imouto*

“Speaking of which, Anri, what is that?”

“The original Black Scripture. I accidentally brought it with me.”

She erected an estate on the border between the Kingdom of Fortera and the Holy Anri Thearchy, and lived there together with Tena and Lili.

Although some troubling issues would occur from time to time, on the whole, she was able to spend the life peacefully as she desired.

Because the Evil G.o.d Statue made her face widely known, recently she had taken to wearing a mask.

“Why does it feel like people are staring at me?”

*imouto*

She served Anri after she returned to being a human, and continued to look after her everyday needs.

A while after she had begun living at the Black Rose Mansion, she met a single young man by chance, and ended up involved in the turmoil that followed.

“Anri-sama, I’ve made some tea.”

*imouto*

She lived together with Anri in the estate.

Perhaps because she was used to them, she could now look at Anri’s mystic eyes without running away.

“Anri-sama, Tena-oneechan, the food is ready.”

*imouto*

With the achievement of establis.h.i.+ng diplomatic relations with the Holy Anri Thearchy, she inherited the throne of the Demon King at a young age.

In addition, due to the fact that she was forced to continue holding the doll and was unable to part from it, she gained alias such as “Doll Princess” and “The Truth Is, the Doll Is Her Real Body” etc.

“I told you that was wrong, didn’t I!?”

*imouto*

As usual, today he was also merrily spreading the religion.

Lately he had been planning to ma.s.s produce small-scale Evil G.o.d statues to distribute amongst the followers.

“Hu hu hu, it seems that the Gra.s.sroots Anri-sama Plan is progressing just fine.”

*imouto*

In order to retrieve the Holy Sword from Anri, they were worked to the bone on the construction of the estate.

Since Arc had lost interest in the Demon King subjugation, they came to a standstill.

“I-, I can’t stand any more construction work…”

“Agreed, Frey.”

“She seeeriously worked us to the bone, huh?”

“She was an amazing person, wasn’t she…”

*imouto*

Together with Arc, Anri made them help with the construction work in exchange for their Holy Spear and Bow.
While labouring together, a love between them… did not bud at all, and it was just more of Lionel’s one-sided approaches.

“Heyy, how ’bout you go out with me already?”

“Just give it up already, Lionel.”

*imouto*

Pa.s.sing the throne of Demon King to his daughter, Leonora, he lived as he liked as an adventurer.

It seems that he was actually quite frustrated about failing to capture the dungeon.

“Mu, I thought that today would work out for sure, but…”

*imouto*

As members of the Four Heavenly Kings, they served the new Demon King, Leonora.

“I wonder if His Majesty the Preceding King is doing well.”

“It would not be strange for anything to happen to that personage.”

*imouto*

With his bald patch healed, he returned to work.

“I’m not f.u.c.ken bald!”

*imouto*

*imouto*

On the top floor of the Evil G.o.d Temple, she continued to administrate the world.
On occasion, she would observe her human self.

“That mask, so cool…”

*imouto*

Their intentions were unknown, but thanks to that, Evil G.o.d Anri’s loneliness was lessened.

“I will not speak badly of you, so please stop your spying at once.”

“Seriously. d.a.m.n nasty hobby.”

*imouto*

He learnt “come”.

“Gurururu…”

*imouto*

The newly summoned Unit 2 was working hard as the guard-armour of the Black Rose Mansion.
Also, unlike Unit 1, Unit 2 was made with a female’s armour as a base.

*imouto*

Because of the lack of invaders on the 30th floor, normally he served as Evil G.o.d Anri’s aide on the top floor of the Evil G.o.d Temple.

The cooking for the three G.o.ds who ate despite the lack of need were prepared by him as well.
Due to Tena’s absence, the only ones left who could pilot the Anril Armour were Evil G.o.d Anri and himself, but in exchange, they came up with the idea of piloting the armour while riding atop Black Dragon Vardneel; the final form, Anril Deathrider. In addition, it goes without saying that he was stronger just by himself.

“I offer my Lord my eternal loyalty.”

*imouto*

Today as well, he was floating about in the “Interval”.
On occasion he would suddenly appear in the Evil G.o.d Temple, cause trouble for Evil G.o.d Anri and the others, and then get kicked out.

“Now then, what should I play with next?”

And with the above chapter concludes the Evil G.o.d Average main story.

Thank you for your various opinions along the way, but I truly believe that I made it this far due to the support of all the readers.
For reading this, and for your support, thank you very much.

Also, I intend on reporting on my activities, but for now I will make a small announcement below.

A world governed by a Light G.o.d, a Dark G.o.d, and a slightly ‘my pace’ Evil G.o.d.

The religion that boasted the most power in the world, the Church of Sacred Light, had suddenly lost its influence.

The panicking upper echelons of the church decided to perform the Hero Summoning Ritual, as a sign of their revival.

However, due to the intervention of an even more ‘my pace’ Evil G.o.d, the summoned young man was granted a troublesome skill.

Followed about by turmoil, the young man met a certain girl, and together they opposed the absurdity of the world.

*imouto*

Set in the world of “Evil G.o.d Average” comes a new story. Coming So…metime or Other.

First of all, thank you for reading my translations. As always, your enthusiasm for the story and interesting comments give me the impetus to continue translating.

Second of all, my apologies for the delay on the final chapter. It was longer than expected, and I was unable to complete it last night.

Third, Evil G.o.d Average came out in j.a.pan today. You can purchase it here,

http://www.cdj.a.pan.co.jp/product/NEOBK-1855809

and if you have money to spare, please, please buy a copy to support Kitaseno-sensei. It really isn’t all that expensive, and is basically a family pizza meal, or about 3 subway footlongs.

Kitaseno-sensei worked hard to keep the story amusing, and they’re continuing to write even now, so please just spare a little snack money or beer money and buy a copy. It comes with pictures, and you can keep it on your shelf to pretend you’re all international and cultured. It’s a conversation starter too!

Imagine this; your friend comes over, and goes, “Whoa! You can read j.a.panese?” and with a proud smile, you throw out your chest and reply; “Nope. I bought for the pictures.”

Finally, the spin-off came out today. Naturally I have picked it up. Because it takes place 1~2 years after the conclusion of Evil G.o.d Average, the first thing is to translate the Book of G.o.d side stories, as they almost all take place after this chapter.