The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four Acts Part 2

_Jessie._ Why do you want him to know it?

_Bob._ I want him to do his share to change it--instead of idling his life away.

_Jessie._ He's going to college, isn't he?

_Bob (laughs)._ A lot of good that's doing!

_Jessie._ Don't you believe in going to college?

_Bob._ Not the way Jack's doing it. It's all play to him, and I want him to work. Just as I was trying to tell him a while ago--

_Jessie._ You're always nagging at him, Bob.

_Bob._ I want to teach him something. Something about the reality of life.

_Jack (enters Play-play left in evening dress)._ Good heavens! You two still arguing?

_Bob._ Yes, Jack--still arguing!

_Jack._ Can't you cut it out for one evening? I'm not in your cla.s.s in college.

_Bob._ If you were, Jack, you'd learn something real about the world you live in.

_Jack._ Oh, cut it out, Bob! You give me a pain! Just because you once put on hobo clothes and went out and knocked about with b.u.ms for a year, you think you've a call to go around making yourself a bore to every one you know!

_Bob._ Well, Jack, some things I saw made an impression on me and I can't forget them. When I hear my glib young cousin who sits and surveys life from the shelter of his father's income--when I hear him making utterly silly a.s.sertions----

_Jack (angrily)._ What, for example?

_Bob._ The one you were making today--that if a man fails, it must be his own fault.

_Jack._ I say there's a place in life for every man that's good for anything.

_Bob._ I say that with things as they are at present, most men fail of necessity.

_Jack._ They'd succeed if they only had nerve to try. There's plenty of good jobs lying idle.

_Bob._ Oh, Jack, what rot!

_Jack._ By thunder, I'd like to show you!

_Bob._ We'd like to do all sorts of bold things--if only it weren't too much trouble.

_Jack._ What should I do to prove it?

_Bob._ You couldn't prove it, Jack--it isn't true.

_Jack._ Suppose I wanted to _try_ to prove it? What should I do?

_Bob._ You're wasting my time, boy.

_Jack (to Jessie)._ You see! He won't even answer me!

_Jessie._ Answer him, Bob.

_Bob._ Just what do you want to prove, Jack?

_Jack._ That a man can get a job if he really wants it.

_Bob._ Well, suppose you get a job!

_Jessie._ That's too easy! Jack has a dozen jobs waiting for him when he gets through college.

_Bob._ I don't mean for him to go on his father's name. Here--I'll propose a test for you. Upstairs in my trunk is an old suit that I wore when I went out and lived as a hobo. Put it on. Put on the torn overcoat and the ragged hat. I was going to say empty your pockets--but you needn't do that--there's nothing in the pockets. Go out of here tonight, and make this bargain--that for six months you won't tell a soul who you are, that you won't communicate with one of your friends, nor use any of their influence. For six months you'll s.h.i.+ft for yourself and take what comes to you. And then you can come back, and we'll see how far you've risen in the world. Also we'll see whether you haven't changed some of your ideas! _(A pause.)_

_Jack (in a low voice)._--That would satisfy you, would it?

_Bob._ Yes, that would satisfy me.

_Jack._ All right! By thunder--I'll go you! _(Starts away.)_ To-night!

_Jessie (horrified)._ Jack! You're out of your senses.

_Jack._ I'm not. I mean it. I'm tired of his jawing at me!

_Jessie (rushes to him)._ I won't hear of it!

_Jack._ I'm going to show him.

_Jessie (turns to Bob)._ I won't have my brother leave me!

_Bob._ Don't worry, Jessie. Your brother won't really go!

_Jack._ Yes, I will!

_Jessie (wildly)._ But Jack! It's time for your birthday-dinner!

_Bob._ We'll save the dinner and eat it cold. He'll be back in a day or two.

_Jack._ You may spare your taunts, Bob.

_Jessie (catching him by the arm)._--I'll send for Dad! You shan't go!

_Jack (aside to Jessie)._ Listen, Jessie. There's another reason.

I've _got_ to go. I've got into another row at college.

_Jessie._ Jack! What have you done?