The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four Acts Part 19

_Peggy._ We'll get you tickets, you know.

_Will._ We'll be delighted to place a box at your disposal.

_Landlady._ Well, for the land's sake! _(Beaming.)_ What sort of a character am I?

_Will._ Why, you're the landlady in the play; there's a poor family in distress, and you take pity on them, and help them in their trouble. It's very touching--everybody will be moved to tears by it.

_Landlady (suspiciously)._ Well now, that's all right, but I have to have my rent. I have to pay the agent for this house. If you can't pay me, I have to ask you to move.

_Peggy._ Oh, surely you wouldn't do that!

_Landlady._ Why wouldn't I?

_Peggy._ Don't you see how it would be in the play? You'd be hard and unmerciful.

_Will._ Everybody would dislike you!

_Peggy._ Think how ashamed you'd feel--before a whole theatre full of people every night!

_Will._ You see, you must live up to the character we've imagined.

_Landlady._ Well, for the land's sake! _(Overcome by curiosity.)_ When is this to be played?

_Will._ Just as soon as I can get it done.

_Landlady._ Well, don't be too long. I'd like to help you, but I need my money as much as anybody. _(Grinning.)_ Well, now, ain't that cute! In a play! Well, good luck to you! I'm sorry I interrupted you, I hope it'll be all right. Good-evening.

_Peggy and Will._ Good-evening. _(Landlady exit.)_

_Will._ Did you ever hear the equal of that?

_Peggy._ Off in your local color again!

_Will._ We can jolly her along for a month yet!

_Peggy._ The landlady and the grocer--we can work forever! _(Child tosses restlessly in sleep and murmurs.)_

_Peggy (rises and goes to cot, and soothes child)._ There, there, Bill. _(To Will, who rises.)_ Dear, he's feverish.

_Will._ Are you sure?

_Peggy._ Oh, I ought to get the doctor!

_Will._ We already owe the doctor.

_Peggy._ I know--but he'd come if I asked him to.

_Will._ What good could he do? He'd only tell us what we already know--that you can't keep a child well if you shut him up in a tenement room in hot summer weather, and feed him on beans and prunes.

_Peggy._ Will, listen to me. I can stand anything else--but if Bill gets sick, we have to give up! Do you understand? I couldn't endure that--I----

_Will (wildly)._ Why do we have to start that now? I want to finish the play! _(Drags her to work-table.)_ Come! Sit down here and let's get busy! Right off! Not another word! _(They sit side by side.)_ I've a scene here with Bill. I want to know what you think of it.

_(Lights begin to rise on Play-play.)_ Bill comes to see Belle. This ma.n.u.script----

_Peggy._ Give it to me. _(They read together. Full light on the Play-play. Peggy makes secret exit. Several knocks on the door of Play-play Left. Bill opens timidly and looks about.)_

_Bill._ n.o.body home? _(Calls.)_ Hey! Anybody in here? Well, I suppose they won't mind if I make myself at home. Gee, I wonder if they'll sure enough let me stay here! _(Sits on chair.)_

_Belle (enters)._ Oh!

_Belle._ Good evening.

_Bill._ Youse remember me, lady? I was in Schmidt's restaurant!

_Belle._ Oh, yes!

_Bill._ I'm a friend o' Jack's. I seen him on the street just now.

_Belle._ Has he got a job yet?

_Bill._ Nothin' yet. Gee, that was tough--how he lost his week's wages! Do youse think that old Dutchie set the fire?

_Belle._ I don't know.

_Bill._ I seen there was a fur-shop over that there joint, and they say that fur-shops burn up in February--when they've sold out their stock!

_Belle._ You're a knowing kid!

_Bill._ Youse got to be knowin' at my job!

_Belle (noticing that he has a black eye)._ You've got a black eye!

_Bill._ Sure! A s.h.i.+ner!

_Belle._ How did you get it?

_Bill._ Me step-father.

_Belle._ What did you do?

_Bill._ Sure, I ran into his fist.

_Belle._ But--what did he hit you for?

_Bill._ He don't need no reason. He hits.

_Belle._ Oh, you poor kid! Why do you stand it?

_Bill._ I ain't goin' to, no more. I told Jack about it, an' he says fer me to come and stay in his room. Will youse take me in?