The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four Acts Part 15

_Jack (comes up to him, whispers)._ I got a job!

_Bill._ Hully gee!

_Jack._ A fine job! No wages--but I'll get my grub every day.

_Bill._ Well, I want grub too! I got the stuff!

_Jack (excitedly)._ A customer! _(Turns to Schmidt.)_ See, Mr.

Schmidt, a customer already! _(Rushes with alacrity to table.)_ Have a seat, sir. Your hat, sir. _(Hangs it up.)_ There, sir. Here's the menu, sir.

_Bill._ Say, Cully, whatcher givin' us?

_Jack._ Ss.h.!.+ _(Aloud.)_ What will you have, sir? Sweet bread croquettes, sir? We have delicious sweet-bread croquettes today. Or perhaps you'd like--let me see, sir. _(s.n.a.t.c.hes menu.)_ Corned beef hash, sir, or possibly a charlotte russe.

_Bill._ Say, what the blazes----

_Jack._ Your napkin, sir. Your knife and fork, sir. You'll have a gla.s.s of water, of course, sir! _(Rushes for water.)_ There, sir, you'll have bread and b.u.t.ter, sir?

_Bill._ I'll have a ham sandwich.

_Jack._ Ah! Most wholesome food--ham sandwiches! As quickly as possible, sir.

_Bill._ Make it a big one.

_Jack (aside)._ You bet I will. _(Hurries Left, gets sandwich and returns.)_ There's your sandwich. Ain't that a lulu? _(To Schmidt.)_ See, Mr. Schmidt! Trade's picking up already.

_Schmidt._ Yes, I see--I make my fortune by you.

_(Belle enters Left, looks about.)_

_Belle._ Has my sister come for me?

_Jack._ Not yet. _(Goes over to Belle.)_ Feeling any better?

_Belle._ I'm pretty tired.

_Jack (a pause)._ Tell me--how long have you been doing this?

Waiting, I mean.

_Belle._ Four years.

_Jack._ And how long do you expect to do it?

_Belle._ How should I know. What other chance have I? I can make just enough to keep going from week to week, and Dolly the same.

It's like being in a trap.

_Jack._ I never realized it before. _(A pause.)_ Was it always like this?

_Belle._ No, we had a chance while father was alive. He was a railroad conductor. He was killed in an accident.

_Jack._ And didn't you get any damages?

_Belle._ They said it was his fault. He stepped in front of an express. They paid for his funeral.

_Jack._ And then you were stranded?

_Belle._ We had enough to come to New York. We heard that wages were higher here. But everything else is higher, and you can't save anything. You're really worse off in New York, because n.o.body cares whether you starve or not.

_Jack._ n.o.body cares! _(With sudden intensity.)_ Listen, Belle. I care! I honestly do. I want to help you to get out of this!

_Belle._ But how can you help me?

_Jack._ I don't know, but I'll find a way. There must be a way! It's too cruel--it can't be true that people starve to death in the midst of so much wealth.

_Belle._ You don't know much about being poor, I see.

_Bill (Has finished sandwich, rises and comes over, pats himself)._ Gee!

_Jack._ Good stuff, hey?

_Bill._ Betcher.

_Jack._ You'll come again then?

_Bill._ Sure thing.

_Jack (to Schmidt, who rises and crosses Left)._ You see, Mr.

Schmidt! He'll come again!

_Schmidt._ Yes, I make my fortune by you _(exit Left)._

_Bill._ Gee, I allus wisht I had a job in a restaurant! Or in a candy store! Well, so long, old pal.

_Jack._ So long.

_Bill (starts Right, then stops)._ Say!

_Jack._ Well?

_Bill (coming to him)._ Here's your nickel.

_Jack._ Good Lord, I forgot it!

_Bill._ Youse'll be a great help to this joint!

_Jack (takes it)._ I suppose I must take it. _(Puts it in his pocket.)_

_Bill (staring at him)._ Gee, is it a tip?