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Monster no Goshujin-sama Vol 2 Chapter 4

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Master of Monsters: V02 Chapter 004

Draft version: <04 1/2015="">

We were actually gonna further edit the chapter but decided on releasing what we have currently instead...

04. A Puppet’s Desire

Synopsis of previous chapter:

Trauma-sensei works too hard!

Chapter 4. ~Rose’s POV~

Crafting is almost equivalent to the meaning of my existence.

I picked up my beloved knife as usual and began to shave the moderately sized piece of lumber.

As long as it is a Magical Puppet, each and every one would have a magical knife like this that is capable of processing lumber to one’s content.

That being said, of course the creator’s skill is important.

Normal Magical Puppets create tools only when needed. However, I have been constantly creating new tools on a daily basis, in accordance with Master’s requests. Perhaps as a result, my magical tool creation skills have been improving as of late; enough that even I can tell the difference.

If only I could create better items.
Because if I could do that, I would be more useful to Master.

Time spent shaving wood thusly, are moments of bliss to me.
I feel a definite sense of being useful doing so.

Right now, I feel alive.

To the extent that I ended up having such outrageous thoughts, even though I am but a puppet without even blood circulation.

For me, the monster who was bestowed with the name of ‘Rose’, there were two moments of birth.

The first, was when I was created as a monster referred to as a ‘Magical Puppet’.

A female monster, the same species as me, roamed around in this deep forest while slowly acc.u.mulating magical power from the surrounding atmosphere, and created a copy of itself.

Among the numerous products created this way, one of them was myself.

And the second, of course, was at that time, when I met Master.

In that instant, this nameless Magical Puppet gained character and became the individual known as ‘Rose’.

From that day onwards, Master has bestowed upon me the precious duty of producing various items, beginning with weapons and armor.

At times I have been asked to create magically imbued armaments; at others, daily necessities or simple furniture.

Thus, at present, I am manufacturing replacements for the destroyed armaments in the Arachne’s nest.

“...”

There was an intent gaze that watched me as I worked on them.

It is not Master.

He has departed to search the forest.

Brus.h.i.+ng aside my objections… No, that is fine.
For now.

Right now, it is this gaze that is right in front of me.

“...Is watching me something enjoyable?”

“Yes.”

Wrapped in sheets with just a slight degree of smile at the edge of her lips, Kato-san nodded at my query.

“It’s quite interesting. I’m thinking about how mysterious that is.”

Saying that, Kato-san picked up the round s.h.i.+eld that I had made.

It is a black s.h.i.+eld with a smooth surface.

“Even though the materials are just wood, looking like it’s made from metal and nothing else once it’s finished…”

Saying such, she stretched out and tapped her fingernails on the s.h.i.+eld’s black surface.

It resounded with a dull *giiin* sound.

Most of my recent works change into this black-ish hue.

The change did not only affect their appearance; their properties became hard and st.u.r.dy.

Comparing them to the texture of the wood of origin, it is as if they are completely different.

However, how would that be considered ‘mysterious’, I wonder.
That was what I questioned.

The things I have made become magically imbued items.
As a Magical Puppet, I did not feel a single trace of strangeness about it because it is a monster’s characteristics.

From my point of view, I did not really understand what Kato-san was asking about.

“Mysterious, you say?”

“Yes. ...Eh? This isn’t something mysterious to you, Rose-san?”

Seeing me nod, Kato-san made a slightly troubled expression.

“Ah. That’s right. Unlike us, it’s not as if you’ve learnt the concepts of things like atoms from textbooks, huh… Come to think of it, didn’t Mizus.h.i.+ma-senpai once say that a long time ago, the world used to think swallows or something burrowed themselves into sandy beaches to become clams?”

Kato-san mumbles to herself.

And I, who has been responding to her questions while shaving wood primarily in silence.

Incidentally, Lily-anesama is recuperating a little further away from us and is not partic.i.p.ating in this conversation. She was almost well enough to move around; however, our Master—who is p.r.o.ne to worrying—strictly ordered anesama to rest until she has fully recovered.

Due to this sequence of events, the job of being Kato-san’s conversation partner has been entirely left to me.  

“Magical tool creation.”

Kato-san stroked the black s.h.i.+eld with the tip of her finger.

“It might be a normal thing from Rose-san’s point of view, but it’s something amazing to me. Magic’s amazing, isn’t it.”

“Although, this is me purely using magic power, and strictly speaking: not a spell.” “If this isn’t a result of magic, then what’s amazing is Rose-san’s skill. After all, you’re able to manufacture something to this extent.”

“Thank you.”

“I think Majima-senpai also thinks that way too.”

As I reflexively looked up from my work, Kato-san expressed a slight smile.

“…”

It seems that she understands—extremely well—what makes me the happiest.

“Please let me know if there’s anything I can help with, okay?”

“…”

I wonder, just how much does she know about me to say that…

While thinking thoughts like this, I held out the s.h.i.+eld that I had just been adjusting the shape of to her.

“Well then, may I ask you to bring this to the discard pile?”

“Oh? This one’s being thrown away too?”

“Idle thoughts of mine were coalesced within it, after all.”

I hand Kato-san the s.h.i.+eld that had just been carved into its overall shape.

I had the feeling that Kato-san slightly furrowed her eyebrows as she took it.

“Was I, perhaps, a bother?”

“No. This was because of a different matter.”

“If so, then okay. ...I’ve been thinking this for a while now, but you’re making quite a lot of failed products, huh, Rose-san.”

Kato-san fixed her gaze on the small mountain of wood chips some distance away.

Those are all of the products that I had created and repeatedly thrown away throughout these past few days: failed products.

Even though there are plenty of materials in the surrounding area, considering the time that I spent on them, it feels a bit like that time was wasted.

However, I had no intention of making any compromise when it came to my own works.

“Everyone’s lives depend on the armaments I make. I will not allow myself to provide them with items that even have the slightest imperfection.”

“Ahh. I see. Rose-san is a craftsman, huh.”

Saying so with a friendly tone, Kato-san went to toss away my failed product.

In the meantime, I chose a new piece of wood and cut out the general outline.

Each piece of wood has its own peculiarities. In order to process them, those peculiarities have to be acutely understood. That fact does not change even for me, who infuses magical power into each item as the finis.h.i.+ng touch.

When I touch them, their optimal shape naturally gets transmitted to me.

I modelled the block of wood in my hands into a long and narrow shape. The plan for it is for its final form to be a sword. At this point, its general image comes to my mind. What remains, is simply a matter of bringing the object closer to that image.

Kato-san returns as I am doing this, and sits in front of me once again.
She smiles slightly in satisfaction when she pulls the sheets towards her and puts it around her shoulders. Yesterday, when I asked her about it during a break in one of our idle chats, she said that being wrapped in sheets calms her down. However, 'It's something like when a baby holds their own blanket, they calm down', that simile is hard for someone like me—who never had an infantile period—to understand.

And like that, wrapped up in the sheets—as usual—was Kato-san, who abruptly opened her mouth.

“Was the reason of the failure Gerbera-san?”

A loud snap resounded, and the block of wood in my hands broke in two.

“…”

I paused, dumbfounded for a short while.

Time moved again for me when Kato-san apologetically bowed her head.

“Sorry. This time for sure, I was a bother to you.”

“...No.”

Even though Kato-san was the cause, the one who made the mistake—was me. 
I shook my head and set aside the now-unusable wood.

I pick up a new piece of wood. As I shaved it, I asked:                                   .

“Why do you think that it is related to Gerbera?”

“I’m sorry. I overheard your talk with Majima-senpai earlier.”

Then that would be... the discussion on the morning, three days ago? 
When I had brought my distrust of Gerbera to Master’s attention.

It appears she had overheard that.

If so, there is probably little point to try and hide it now.

“It is as Kato-san says.”

The true reason the ‘idle thoughts’ that have been interfering with my duty, was Gerbera.

No matter what, I still felt uneasy about that Gerbera.

Master has forgiven her.

In my mind, I understand this. 
However, my emotions refuse to follow suit no matter what.

I am Master’s s.h.i.+eld.
I wish to bear any and all disasters in his stead with this manufactured body of mine.

Even if my body was reduced to ruins as a result of that, I would not care in the slightest.

For me, who was resolutely determined to do that, the incident of that night when I could not protect Master was much too painful of a memory.

That night. The despair I felt when Master was stolen away.

The rage I felt upon seeing Master injured after finally arriving at the Arachne’s nest.

Like a banked fire, both of the emotions still lingers inside of me, causing an unpleasant heat within.

Even just with that alone, it is extremely difficult for me to forgive her.

Moreover, the fact that I completely could not understand Gerbera’s reason for resorting to that sort of violence… On this point, you could even say that this is something ‘vital’ to the both of us.

“I desire to make Milord mine alone.”

Gerbera’s natural impulses were the cause for her rampage.

The desire to be the sole possessor of something important to you, is perhaps, more or less something anyone can embrace.

However, for me, those types of emotions can be said to be practically non-existent.

This has already surpa.s.sed the issue of who is in the right or wrong.

What is certain is, due to the differences in our innate dispositions, I am unable to understand her.

To forgive someone without understanding them is a hard thing to do.
That is what I meant by it being ‘vital’.

Even I have the desire to accept the fact that Master has forgiven her.

...I want to, but no matter how hard I try, that ends up becoming the bottleneck.

I cannot help but feel that I am unable to accept her.

Even though I understand in my mind that Master does not wish for that…

“…I am thoroughly ashamed.”

I am not heeding Master’s will.

As a monster of Master’s Family, one should feel shame.

“I don’t think there’s a need to be ashamed, though.”

However, Kato-san shook her head at the one who said those words: me.

“Rose-san has a tendency to suppress herself too much, huh.”
“I suppress myself too much, you say?”

“I understand Rose-san’s att.i.tude of putting Majima-senpai first, and I think that trying to respect others is a virtue, but… if you overdo it, then you’ll end up losing what it means to be yourself.”  
“Is that bad?”

Kato-san’s point didn’t get through to me at all.

“Master decided to take in Gerbera, and forgave her. In that case, I should abide by his will. This is because we exist to fulfill Master’s wishes. For that reason, does not something like my will not matter?”  

“I thought Rose-san would say something like that, though…”

Kato-san’s tone was tinged with something akin to a bitter smile.

“But, even though you say that, isn’t suppressing yourself something that would make Majima-senpai unhappy?”

“…”

It was hard to refute her point.
Master values us ‘Monsters of the Family’ deeply.

So much so, it seems like he is p.r.o.ne to value us over himself.

“In that case, what do you think is best thing to do regarding the matter concerning Gerbera?”

This time, I asked Kato-san.

Presently, I do not know what to do with myself.

Therefore, this chance—to be able to ask Kato-san—was certainly not a bad opportunity for me.

The image of Kato-san on that night, who appeared on the battlefield by herself without so much as a knife in hand, remained vivid in my mind. 
She is much more well-versed than us in matters regarding the human heart.

If it’s her, she might be able to find a solution to this standstill in my heart.

The name of the girl who gave me such hope was a girl called Kato Mana.

“Wouldn’t it be alright for Rose-san to forgive her when Rose-san thinks that she is able to?”

After pausing for a brief moment, Kato-san opened her mouth.

“It’s not okay to suppress your emotions. That’s not something Majima-senpai wishes for, and something will surely become warped.”

“Warped?”

“For example, if you stifled your emotions towards Gerbera, it can also be seen as taking away her chance to atone from her. If it turns out that way, then no matter how much time pa.s.ses, you will never be able to accept her.”

“…There is that viewpoint too.”

Kato-san’s opinion was of great interest to me.

Before I was aware of it, I had already stopped working and faced Kato-san.

The conversation was simply that important.

“The rest depends on both your efforts, I guess. As for Gerbera… Well, I trust that senpai will somehow do something about it…”

Kato-san looked as if she were staring off into the distance.

A gloomy stare. However, the look was a reliable one.

The world she sees is surely different from the one I do…

“Rose-san, you do want to accept Gerbera-san, right?”

“Yes. Of course. However, I am not inclined to forgive her at all.”

“Is that so…That’s right, huh. In a sense, that’s probably to be expected.”

‘To be expected’...
That was how Kato-san expressed my current state.

“It’s because Rose-san isn’t greedy.”

“Greedy…?”

“Though, if you say it that way, it has a negative impression.”

Kato-san slightly laughed.

“But, for example, even Majima-senpai thinks, ‘I want the people who love me to be around me.’ Senpai’s wish, ‘to love those people and sincerely respond to them,’ is something that you as his Family know best, don’t you? Even this, is a form of greed. I think that’s a very senpai-like thought.”

“...Greed.”

“If calling it ‘greed’ is hard to accept, then you can also call it ‘desire’. It’s an unimportant difference in rhetoric, after all. The important part is that’s what his so-called ‘human-ness’ is. That’s probably the same for Lily-san and Gerbera-san, too.”

Desire. Is it, for example, in Lily-anesama’s case: to want to be loved by Master?

Or perhaps, in Gerbera’s case: to wish to be accepted by the other members in the Family as a fellow comrade? Could those be called desires?

“It seems to me that Rose-san’s desires are partial. ‘Wanting to do something’, ‘Wanting something to be done’, and ‘Wanting to do something for someone’. …Desires have many different forms, however it looks like you are terribly inclined to the last one.”

In other words, does that mean my personality is a 'defective product'?

“That’s not it.”

Kato-san denied my question with a vehement tone.

“‘Partial’ just means that it’s undeveloped. Even if that’s wrong, it’s definitely not defective.”

“To declare that statement so definitively…”

“I can. I can say so. I mean, from when you obtained a heart until now, haven’t only a few months pa.s.sed? For the heart to be undeveloped, isn’t it to be expected?”

After having that pointed out to me, I felt as if I had been taken unawares.

That is certainly correct.

I had two moments of birth.
First, when I was created as a Magical Puppet, and then again when I was born as the individual, named Rose.

However, if I was to say which one const.i.tutes my ‘birth’, I would certainly say the latter.

The life of a puppet with no purpose—no matter how many sheets are layered on top of it—is nothing but a flimsy bundle of paper.

Compared to that, the act of gaining a Master to serve, and spending every day serving him—what a brilliant thing that is.

For a Magical Puppet such as I, there is no infantile period.

Yet, emotionally speaking, the present me is something akin to a newborn infant.

My feelings are undeveloped, immature.
In the first place, that Gerbera cannot compare to Lily-anesama who holds the memories of Mizus.h.i.+ma Miho.

I want to exist for the sake of Master. I want to labor for him. If it's for him, I want to do anything and everything. That alone has been 'my everything', and is probably what being ‘undeveloped' refers to.

For this reason, wanting Master… in other words, Gerbera’s rampage—that stemmed from the urge of ‘Wanting to do something’—is something that I cannot understand.

Possibly, this is the reason why I do not understand the inner workings of the human heart after all.

“However—in the first place—I wonder if I have something of those desires and the like?”

If that is one manifestation of ‘human-ness’, then I would not think it strange even if a puppet such as myself were not endowed with such complete emotions.

However, Kato-san shook her head, and disagreed with these worries of mine.

“You do. I’m sure that what Majima-senpai wishes for is not a convenient puppet. It should be a person with resolute character. That’s also exactly why Gerbera-san and your relations is now becoming complicated like this . If that’s the case, it’s impossible that you don’t have any of your own wishes.”  

“However, I can not think of any at all.”

Possibly because she understood that I was greatly perplexed, Kato-san showed a thoughtful expression.

She pondered for a short while.  
Before long the wrinkle in her brow disappeared.

“Up until this moment, Rose-san, have you ever thought ‘Ah, I feel happy’?”

I tilted my head at Kato-san’s question.

“Happy, you say?”

“Yes.”

Kato-san nodded.

“Wanting to experience that happiness once again. If you can think that way, then can’t you call that your wish?”

“I see.”

After receiving an easy-to-understand suggestion, I paused to think for a bit.

Happiness.

Happiness, huh.

Devoting myself for Master's sake right now, is my very happiness, however…

“I meant something aside from working for Senpai’s sake or being useful to him.”

Kato-san hit the head on the nail. Well, I understand what she is saying.

My own wish—something that I have to find—has to be a desire like ‘Wanting to do something,’ or ‘Wanting something to be done.’. Because of it, I will find a part of myself that even I myself have not known until now, and be able to grow.  

Hap-pi-ness.

“...”

When that word came to mind, something suddenly flitted across my mind.

――...Rather, I became so happy that it scares me."

“Rose-san?”

It was the memory in my life which could be said to be the most precious.

“Did you think of something?”

“Ah, no. Um… This is, different.”

I automatically answered Kato-san’s question with a negative, after she asked upon noticing my slight change in behavior.

Rather than having dodged the question, it was an outright lie.

After all, ‘this’ can’t be it.

No matter the circ.u.mstances, ‘this’ can’t be forgiven.

Certainly, Kato-san had asked me about my memories of happiness that I experienced throughout my short lifespan.
If speaking on that point, ‘this’ is perfect. It is my happiest memory, and complies perfectly with her stated conditions.

However, to wish for that “once more”...

This is not even at the level of aiming too high. This is what ‘being too presumptuous’ truly is.

There is no way I could wish that.

There is no way I could desire that.

I am just a puppet, after all.

“Rose-san, you’re lying aren’t you.”

Kato-san cut down my excuses bluntly.
From her point of view, my inept excuses were probably obvious.

“If Rose-san has thought about ‘wanting to do something’, then you have already thought quite seriously about it, haven’t you?”

It was the lack of leniency that made me vividly remember the time of that other night when she was driving Lily-anesama into a corner.  

There is only one small difference.

That night she was like that for Master’s sake.
And today, she is like that for my sake.

She can probably see through me with her characteristically sharp senses.

That—for me—this is a rite of pa.s.sage that I definitely need…

Her conviction-laden remarks have also supported me.

However, the deciding factor was something else after all.

I became conscious of my own desires.

I could not return to when I did not not know them.

The fact that, even if only in pa.s.sing, I had involuntarily thought of complying the wishes I had become aware of.

As far as I am concerned, that in itself, was conclusive. 

“I—…”

Mustering up my courage, I decisively put those thoughts into words.

“I want to…”

I put them completely into words.

“I want… to embrace Master…”

Sure enough… I regretted trying to put them into words.

I want to be embraced by Master.

What… what is with that.

What are you trying to say.

There are things you can and can’t say, you know?

Certainly, I have been embraced by Master once.

On the day Master’s so-called school friend—a cowardly youth—had the tables turned on him.

That night, when I also returned Master’s embrace, I had nestled up closely to his sleeping form through the whole night.

To me—who does not sleep—that was truly a one-night dream.

Of course, that is an exceptional occurrence.

Even I am very aware of that.

Dreams only occur in dreams.

To seriously wish for such a dream, is something only a fool does.

Know your place.

You are just a puppet.

...Even if I tell myself that, my heart was not able to lie.

I ended up earnestly wis.h.i.+ng for Master to embrace me…

“...Aww, jeez! Rose-san, you’re so cute!”

Suddenly, I was embraced from the front.

By Kato-san.

I, who became stiff, returned to my senses and timidly pushed her away by the shoulders.

“My apologies. Kato-san. Might I ask of you to distance yourself?”

“Ah, I’m sorry. I just, unintentionally...”

Kato-san lightly stepped back and lowered her eyebrows as if she was embarra.s.sed.

The sight of her doing this reminded me somewhat of Lily-anesama. …No, that’s not right. This probably resembles Mizus.h.i.+ma Miho, whom anesama is mimicking.

The figure of an absolutely normal, everyday-occurring girl.

If that was the case, this may be how the girl named Kato Mana naturally is originally.

“The one Rose wants to be embrace is not me, but Majima-senpai after all.”

“Um, yes. I mean, no. But—”

“What is it?”

“Is it not presumptuous for a puppet such as myself to think of being embraced by Master?”

“That’s not true.”

Kato-san took on a reproachful tone of voice.

“Saying something like that, are you going to give up, just like that?”

“No. Troubling Master with this selfishness of mine is…”

“I’m sure that Majima-senpai would be happy if you spoke of your desires.”

“Even though I am being selfish?”

“From what I can see, personality-wise, I think that when Senpai is the type to feel apologetic instead when he is the only one being served by others.”  

“That’s…”

…‘That’s entirely likely’—is what I thought.

Even though it is a given that I serve Master, he sometimes is not agreeable with it.

If that’s the case, I wondered if this selfishness of mine is of Master’s agreeability?

Ahh, but still.

Not good. Not good. This is the whisper of the devil.

“You can’t give up.”

So Kato-san says.

Rather than calling it the whispers of the devil, her tone of voice was more akin to the gentle nudges of an affectionate mother.

“You don’t want to trouble Senpai. In that case, if Senpai himself wanted to give you a hug, wouldn’t that solve the problem?”

“You say it solves the problem… However, wouldn’t that be an unlikely situation?”

One could say the events of that one night was such a situation.

I could not see it ever happening again.

“I’m telling you, you can’t give up!.”

Her firm grip on my hand tightened.

“Let’s put some effort into realizing your wish… After all, your wish is something that can come true.”

“What are you telling me to do?”

“That’s easy.”

Kato-san looked at me intently.

“All you have to do is make yourself cute enough that Majima-senpai will want to embrace you.”

“Making me… cute?”

“That’s right. Fortunately, you have enough skill to make tools, right? Even without a witch, a tree that is a keepsake of your mother, or a special stage performance equipment, you should be able to use the special magic for making yourself out to be cute .”

Kato-san’s proposal was certainly not impossible.

I am a Magical Puppet. A monster who possesses a magical knife.

Creation, to me, is practically equivalent to the meaning of life.

I should even be able to create myself anew once more.

However, it is not simply a question of whether or not I am able to physically do so.

“However, would a mere doll such as myself be permitted to perform such actions?”

“Of course it’s allowed.”

Kato-san affirmed me.

Her tone was probably the strongest it had been today.

“You know, Rose-san. When a girl wants a boy to embrace her, it’s normal for her to try to become cuter. Things like putting on makeup, improving oneself… To a girl, actions like this are really important. Even Senpai has no right to find fault with that.”

“However, I am a doll.”

“What are you talking about. Just think about it. Don’t you think it’s natural for dolls to get dressed up and be embraced by their masters? Whether you’re a girl, a doll, either way, there isn’t even a single reason for anyone to get in your way of becoming pretty for Senpai. After all, Rose-san, you are a female doll.”  

Kato-san repeated—”You can’t give up”—again.

I wavered as I felt her earnest stare.

"Is it even okay to do that?"—The reproach of someone that is one of the Monster of the Family.

“Is there even a point in doing that?”—The voice of rationality.  

Every single possible thing began binding me hand and foot.

I placed them all on one side of the scale, and my wish on the other.

I wondered which way the scale will tilt.

As I watched the results settle… I suddenly realized I was doing something very foolish.

After all, the moment I put them on the scale like that, the weight that my wishes held to me was apparent.

There’s no reason to it.

This emotion―it’s unreasonable and irrational.

Ahh, I see.

This is what ‘Wanting do something’ is, isn’t it?.

At that time, I may have finally come to understand a portion of what was called ‘the human heart’.

“For example, if I were to dress up to my utmost extent――”

I finally asked.

Thinking about it afterwards, I’m sure I wanted the encouragement.

“――would Master be happy?”

“I’m sure he would.”

Kato-san gave her blessings to my decision with a smile.

Those words contained no falsities, and the phrase of encouragement is filled with affection.

The current me was certainly able to clearly feel that.

It was truly something to be thankful for.

Were it not for her, this wish of mine—that I had completely left locked in the warehouse within my heart—would probably have been forever left alone until it had ended up growing old and rusted.

If I were to remain unable to even recognise the important things as important, then I suppose I would have eventually died in obscurity.

Now, I feel as though I could even come to forgive Gerbera someday.

The things that she had done were aggravating, and yet, the feeling of labelling her motives that caused them as incomprehensible and throwing them aside had weakened.

It may not be possible right now, but someday. It should not be too far off. Surely…

“Of course, I’ll help out too. In order for you to become cuter, I’ll back you up all the way.”

“Thank you.”

At that moment, I had crossed the so-called border between a Monster of the Family and a human; I held feelings of grat.i.tude towards that girl, as an individual.

“Kato-san, are…”

That’s precisely why I asked.

“…Are you not angry with us?”

“Angry?”

Kato-san stared wide-eyed in surprise.

“Me? At you? Wait, what? Why?”

“Ever since Master decided to shelter you, we have always been on guard against you. We have been viewing you as an internal threat. You were already aware of this, weren’t you?”

“Yes. Lily-san had mentioned that directly to my face previously as well.”

It was an incident right before the battle to the death with Gerbera.  

As if truly unbothered by it, Kato-san spoke in a tone-of-voice no different than when she spoke of normal, everyday occurrences.

“Besides, it was also said at that time, but it’s because I’ve also noticed it from before.”

“In that case, is it not normal for you to direct your anger towards me? At least, that man named Kaga, before being slain by Master, had been consumed with rage.”

Besides Master and Kato-san right in front of me, the only other figure of a human,  male whom I had ever spoken with, specially came to mind… However, the features of his face soon became vague.

“Still, being put in the same lump as him is… kinda unpleasant, though.”

Perhaps it was thoroughly unpleasant, the ridge between Kato-san’s slender eyebrows wrinkled slightly.

“I apologize.”

I lowered my head.

“However, I do not think I am necessarily off the mark. Normally when you are kept in the dark, people would consider it unpleasant. It would not be strange for you to bear ill will towards us.”

After having received this much help, I could not put this question aside.
In any case, it also seems that Kato-san had—in order to resolve my worries—made time for me and talked to me like she is doing now.

Kato-san nodded at my point.

“Let’s see. From my perspective, I don’t think there’s any helping that you guys doubt me, but even so, I’d probably normally become somewhat displeased, you know.”

“Then…”

“But, I’m not particularly angry.”

Those were baffling words.

Kato-san saying that she would normally be angered by it, yet said that she was not particularly upset.

Kato-san sensed that I had not understood, and tilted her head.

“…Mmm. Let’s see.”

Kato-san—between the sheets—took the completed buckler she had been looking at until a while ago once more, held it to her chest, put her finger on her lip and showed a thinking posture.

“Putting it in other words, I think I’m feeling empathy for the Family.”

“Empathy…? Not for Master, who is a human, but for us who are of the Family?”

“Yes. For you guys.”

What—Kato-san who would say those words—had to say was, admittedly something convincing, except for one point.

Precisely because she is empathizing with us, to show that she understood that standpoint, she does not harbour any anger.

That I understand. I understand that much.

However, why she turned out to harbour empathy in the first place, is something that I do not understand.

We are monsters of Master’s Family.

Serving Master is our reason for our existence. After having learned of my own hidden desires—the truth within me, it was—and still is—unchanging, even now.

Even though she empathises with us, who are like that, I wonder if it is there in Kato-san, who is a human.

“Besides.”

Kato-san continued.

“Grateful…?”

“After all, you’re talking to me normally, without particularly distrusting me, aren’t you? The only one that does that is you, Rose-san.”

“You can tell?”

When I asked in surprise, Kato-san put on a slightly bitter smile.

“Like this, you’re listening to me talk, and even on that night, you were the one who was the first to declare your intention of taking me together with you,weren’t you? Besides, I know that Rose-san has a straight-forward personality.

You’re not the type that can express yourself well without expressions; if you were suspicious, it would have immediately been shown on your face.”

“But my face is expressionless…”

“Yes. That’s because that part is just a joke.”
“...”

I don’t know how serious she is, but I see, I may certainly be easy to understand.

I am aware of this, however amongst the party—Master included—I am likely the dullest.

When you say ‘serious’ and ‘honest’, it sounds nice, however in actuality, I am thinking that it is probably correct to call myself honest to a fault and inflexible. I guess Gerbera’s case is a good example of that.

For argument’s sake, even if I was suspecting Kato-san, it probably would have been immediately communicated to her. 
I see. Kato-san’s point makes sense.

Unlike Master or Lily-anesama, I am certainly not doing things like distrusting her.

‘Won’t she betray us?’, for example.

‘What is she thinking?’, for example.

I am not thinking such things.

Perhaps it may be more apt to say that I do not understand the reason for distrusting her.

To be honest, I do not have a good impression concerning the beings called ‘humans’ that hurt Master. That’s why—even with Kato-san—I was not very fond of her in the beginning.

However, after spending time with her, her standing in my eyes gradually changed.

I am probably different from Lily-anesama regarding these matters.

From the start, there was a certain level of affinity between me—who was given the role to ensure the safety of a ‘Master with no fighting prowess’—and the ‘girl with no fighting prowess’. Also—unlike Lily-anesama, who holds the memories of Mizus.h.i.+ma Miho—after gaining my ego, of the other people who I had spent a long period of time with, Kato-san’s portion was large.

For these reasons, even on the night when we were attacked by the White Arachne, I had no hesitation in bringing Kato-san along.

On top of that, Kato-san put her life on the line and acted for the sake of Master.

By now, there is no reason to doubt her.

Rather…

However, this is something that I don’t really want to think about, and I would never plan on putting it into words…

To my eyes, the depth of Master’s suspicion towards Kato-san had seemed to be somewhat strange.

Rather than ‘strange’, if I was to be blunt, I had even thought it was ‘abnormal’.

Even so, the reason why Master has become like that was clear enough that even I—a puppet doll—could guess.

The large wound carved on Master’s heart.

The pain that continues to torment him.

It was likely that as long as the pain doesn’t heal, Master would not be able to accept Kato-san.

“I’m really grateful to Rose-san, who believes in me.”

And as a result, I became concerned about Kato-san, who had been placed into a lonely environment since.

“I’m grateful to the extent that I want to become friends, if it’s possible.”

Therefore when I was told such a thing, I accepted it with surprise.

”To be friends…?”

“It’s difficult, isn’t it? As I thought…”

I immediately thought that it would be difficult.

We are indebted to her. Master is as well, and even I myself, have been imposing on her today.

I must return that favor.

However, I am a Monster of the Family, and she is a human.

Our standings are different. Where we stand is different. Our values are different. And above all, our races are different.

Anything and everything is different: to the point of it being hopeless.

It is the act of 'becoming friends', that is why it is difficult.

No, but...

That is not what is important, right?

“...As I thought, it’s hopeless isn’t it?”

Kato-san had the air of ‘I just wanted to try saying it’, and putting on a weak smile, as if saying ‘that was a joke just now’.  She is making the shape of smile without any feelings behind it.

When I looked at her face, that had such a fleeting smile, I felt my heart clenching tightly.

It is an incomprehensible emotion, but one rampaging inside of me.

If it was like I have been doing until now, I probably would’ve immediately suppressed such impulsive emotions as something useless.  

However, the current me knew what exactly those emotions were. 
They were the ones I had become acquainted with just a moment ago.

The ones I was just taught about.

I had been able to accurately discern that they are something important.

Pushed by an impulse, I began to speak to her sad smile before I realized it.  

“If Master gives the order, I would point my blade towards you.”

“What?”

Kato-san’s eyes widened and her face revealed a shocked expression.

Of course she would be surprised. Even I am surprised by my own words.

Eventually, Kato-san raised her head as though mystified.

“Why are you suddenly talking about something that obvious?”

Does she think that this is something obvious?

Despite this, she said ‘I want to become friends’, huh?

That mentality is not something that my present self is able to even guess at.

For me, I am not able to grasp even a fragment of what’s inside Kato Mana’s mind.

However, one thing was very clear, even for someone like me.  

Her previous words——her hope of ‘I want to become friends’ that she had verbalised——were serious.

If that’s the case, I’ll also sincerely respond to that.

Fortunately, my feeling of ‘Wanting to do something’, is something I am learning from none other than her. Instead of the rational ‘what should I do’, I was pushed by the urge of ‘what I want to do’, and answered her.

“Despite that, if you are saying it is okay with you, then….”

“Yes”

“I… I also, think I would like to be your friend.”

“... Eh?”

Kato-san opened her eyes widely.

As if she hadn’t heard clearly.

On those facial features of hers that were child-like for her age, a look of understanding slowly spread.

“Ah.”

For only a moment, her face strained as if to cry.

“…Thank you, Rose-san.”

With astounding force of will, Kato-san composed herself.

However, as if unable to hold back, a smile was engraved on her mouth.

Just that, convinced me that my decision was not wrong.

“Well then, please treat me kindly, Rose-san.”

Kato-san held out her hand.

It was similar to, yet clearly a different scenery as the night we joined strengths to stand against Gerbera.

“Hah, it feels kinda late though.”

“No. I believe this is necessary.”

I let go of the knife in my hand, and grasped Kato-san’s extended hand.

“Please treat me kindly as well, Kato-san.”

This event marked the first day Mana and I became friends.

Author’s Notes

◆ The events within the Arachne’s nest during the Master’s absence. It’s Rose’s turn.

At the same time, it’s Kato-san’s turn as well.


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About Monster no Goshujin-sama Vol 2 Chapter 4 novel

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