Blue Dragon Part 41

'What colour bra am I wearing?' she said.

'You're not wearing one,' I shot back, and we both laughed.

'Can you do telepathy?'

'No.'

'd.a.m.n,' she said, and made a cross in the notebook. She picked up her teacup and sighed.

'Can you fly, Emma?'

'No.'

'd.a.m.n,' she said, shaking her head. 'There was a lot riding on that one too. They said you can run and then lift yourself and float, and I believed them.'

'Oh, I can do that that,' I said. 'But I can't fly like superman, that's what I meant.'

'Yes,' Louise hissed, scribbling in the notebook. 'Excellent.' Her face changed and she looked at me more seriously. 'Do you turn into a snake, Emma?'

I hesitated.

'Tell me,' she said softly.

I ran my hands through my hair and looked down. 'Yes,' I whispered.

'Good,' Louise said loudly, and put another tick in the notebook. 'Really?'

'Really,' I said quietly.

There was a tap on the door and it opened.

'Okay,' she said. She handed the baby sling to the demon. 'Beanie, take the baby out for a walk, please.'

'Oh s.h.i.+t, Louise, don't do this to me, please,' I said. 'I won't hurt your baby, I swear.'

Louise grinned. 'I just want to eat in peace, Emma. The food's here.'

'Really?' I said.

She reached across the table and gave me me a push. 'Sure. I'm not worried.' a push. 'Sure. I'm not worried.'

'I am.'

'Don't be, you'll be fine.'

She waited until the plates had been placed on the table and the waitress and Beanie had gone, Beanie carefully closing the door behind her.

'Matt, go with her,' Louise called at the door. 'I'll be safe with the Dark Lady.'

'Ma'am,' Matt said from the other side of the door.

'Does the ring talk?' Louise said.

'Yep.'

'Show me.'

'Oh, no, Louise, it's asleep right now. Don't wake it up, it's a pain in the neck.'

'The stone sleeps sleeps?'

'It's a Building Block of the World. It's really old. Like an old man, it sleeps a lot.'

'It's a what?'

I sighed. 'You know the story of the Dark G.o.ddess?'

'Nope,' she said, shaking her head over the udon.

'Okay,' I said, and took a deep breath. I tapped the stone.

'Yes, Emma?'

'Say h.e.l.lo to Louise,' I said.

The stone didn't say anything.

'It's really rude sometimes, don't worry about it,' I said. 'Okay. Anyway, a long time ago there was a battle between two elementals, or between a demon and an elemental.'

'Two elementals,' the stone said. 'Thunder and water.'

'Was that it?' Louise said.

'Yep.'

'It sounds English.'

'I know. Anyway, one of them knocked down one of the Four Pillars holding up the Heavens, so the Dark G.o.ddess, Nu Wa, had to build it again. She collected stones, made a new pillar, destroyed all the monsters that had entered the world and were terrorising her children-'

'Her children were humanity. She created humanity,' the stone said. 'She fas.h.i.+oned the human race from clay. But she became tired, and after a while simply dipped a rope in the mud and threw the clay to make people. n.o.ble people are those she created directly. Common people are those from the rope.'

'It's hard to tell what's true and what isn't with this stuff,' I said. 'And there are so many different versions-'

'She also started the Shang-Zhou wars because the Shang King insulted her,' the stone said. 'She was mortally offended by his disgraceful behaviour, and sent a fox spirit to take over the body of his favourite concubine and lead him into performing such atrocities that his own generals rebelled and toppled him. It led to a civil war so vast that the whole country was plunged into anarchy. Many, many people died. At the end of the war, the mightiest and most courageous warriors were all Raised.'

'Xuan Wu was one of them, wasn't he,' I said.

'Yep,' the stone said. 'In human form. The White Tiger too. A lot of them had their human forms Raised because of their n.o.ble deeds.'

'Was the fox spirit called Daji?' I said quickly.

'Yes, she was. But back to me, I'm the important one,' the stone said, and Louise snorted.

'Anyway,' I said, 'when the sky fell down, the Dark G.o.ddess built a pillar to hold it up. She had some stones left over from building the pillar, and they are old and powerful and extremely annoying extremely annoying.'

'How did you come by this one?' Louise said.

'I think Xuan Wu's had it for a very long time,' I said.

'Yes,' the stone said. 'A very, very long time.'

'Go back to sleep,' I said.

'I certainly will,' the stone said. 'I was in the middle of a lovely dream: I was a mighty snow-capped peak with the frozen corpses of failed mountaineers adorning my slopes.'

'Is it useful for anything?' Louise said. 'Or is it just annoying?'

'It can come in handy, but I really wonder sometimes whether it's worth the suffering.' I shrugged. 'Enough.'

'Yeah, that was the last one,' Louise said. 'I thought you could do all of those things, so I mostly win. But some of the stories they tell about you are obviously ridiculous. Like, they say that you took out a level fifty demon with your bare hands-'

'Yep,' I said through the udon.

'd.a.m.n,' she said softly, 'I really should have brought a video camera. They say you told the King of the Demons to his face face to p.i.s.s off-' to p.i.s.s off-'

'Yep,' I said. 'You should have seen the look on John's face.'

'John? You call the Emperor John John?' she said, incredulous.

'It's his English name. Sounds like Xuan. Xuan Wu.'

'Oh, that makes sense.'

'That's not the only thing I call him,' I said into the udon, and Louise giggled.

'They say that you can jump off high places and float down without getting hurt-'

'Yep,' I said. 'Just learned that one not long ago.'

'Geez, Emma,' Louise said. 'I really should have brought a video camera. If I could get a video of this I'd be in the Tiger's bed every night for six weeks.'

'What?'

'You don't think we bet for money, do you?' Louise said with a grin. 'We bet nights with Tigger.'

I couldn't hold back the laughter. 'Tigger?'

'He's very bouncy,' Louise said, her eyes sparkling. She glanced down at her notebook. 'd.a.m.n. I really should have brought a video camera. They won't believe me without proof on those last ones.'

I pulled out my mobile phone and called home.

'Wei?'

'Ah Yat,' I said, 'could you grab the video camera and bring it to the Tokyo private room in the j.a.panese restaurant in the hotel in Sha Tin?'

'Ma'am,' Ah Yat said. 'Give me about five minutes, I need to find it.'

'Okay, no rush,' I said, and hung up.

'Thanks, Emma,' Louise said. 'You're great, you know.'

I shrugged.

'Did you really tame a level seventy demon?' Louise said.

I nodded, sipping some miso soup.

'Tell your helper to hurry with the video camera,' she said.

I studied her. All of my exceptional abilities didn't seem to have fazed her at all.

'Louise,' I said.

'Hm?'

'None of this stuff I can do seems to worry you at all. You don't seem to be jealous, or bothered by it, or anything.'

'Jealous?' she said with a grin. 'I'm privileged privileged. Do you have any idea how impressed people are when I say that you're my friend, and that we shared a flat for a couple of years? You're a legend in your own lifetime.'

'Oh, great,' I said, lifting the last piece of yam tempura with my chopsticks. 'That's all I need.'

'Can I come to the wedding?'

'Do Chinese weddings have matrons of honour? 'Cause that's what I want you to be.'

'Who cares whether they do or they don't,' Louise said. ''Cause I'm coming, and I'm wearing something frilly and awful in pink with a dreadful c.o.c.ktail hat.'

'You'd better be careful what you wish for, mate,' I said. ''Cause it could very well come true.'

'Coronation too,' she said. 'My roommate, Empress of the North. Do you get a crown?'

I thumped my chopsticks on the table with mock fury.

She grinned and her eyes sparkled. 'Have you heard from April?' She saw my face and the grin disappeared. 'Is she okay?'

I sighed and dropped my head. Then I pulled myself together. April was Louise's friend too. She had a right to know.

'Okay,' I said. 'You know this demon b.a.s.t.a.r.d who's after us? After my family?'