Tales of the Road Part 12

"'Guess I'll go you one, old man,' said Andrews.

"He bought a good sized bill and, as I left him on the train where I changed cars, he said, 'Well, good luck to you. I guess you'd better just duplicate that order I gave you, for my other store.'"

"That," spoke up one of the boys, "is what I call salesmans.h.i.+p. You landed the man that didn't want to buy your goods. The new man let him slip off his hook when he really wanted to buy suspenders."

"I once landed a $3,400 bill up in Wisconsin," said a clothing man as we lighted fresh cigars, "in a funny way. I'd been calling on an old German clothing merchant for a good many years, but I could never get him interested. I went into his store one morning and got the usual stand-off. I asked him if he wouldn't come over and just _look_ at my goods, that I could save him money and give him a prettier line of patterns and neater made stuff than he was buying.

"'Ach! Dat's de sonk dey all sink,' said the old German. 'I'm sotisfite mit de line I haf. Sell 'em eesy und maig a goot brofit.

Vat's de use uf chanching anyvay, alretty?'

[Ill.u.s.tration: In big headlines I read, "GREAT FIRE IN CHICAGO."]

"I'd been up against this argument so many times with him that I knew there was no use of trying to buck up against it any more, so I started to leave the store. The old man, although he turned me down every time I went there, would always walk with me to the front door and give me a courteous farewell. In came a boy with a Chicago paper just as we were five steps from the door. What do you suppose stared me in the face? In big head lines I read: GREAT FIRE IN CHICAGO in big type. The paper also stated that flames were spreading toward my house. I at once excused myself and went down to the telegraph office to wire my house exactly where I was so that they could let me know what to do. As I pa.s.sed to the operator the telegram I wrote, he said, 'Why, Mr. Leonard, I've just sent a boy up to the hotel with a message for you. There he is! Call him back!' The wire was from the house stating, 'Fire did us only little damage. Keep right on as if nothing had happened.'

"My samples were all opened up and I had to wait several hours for a train anyway, so an idea struck me. 'I believe I'll fake a telegram and see if I can't work my old German friend with it.' I wrote out a message to myself, 'All garments on the second floor are steam heated.

They are really uninjured but we will collect insurance on them. Sell cheap.'

"Armed with this telegram I walked into the old German's store again.

'Enny noos?' said he.

"'Yes; here's a telegram I've just received,' said I, handing over the fake message.

"'Sdeam heatet,' said the old man, 'Vell dey gan be bresst oud, nicht?

Veil, I look ad your goots.'

"He dropped in right after dinner. I had laid out on one side of the sample room a line of second floor goods.

"Among them were a lot of old frocks that the house was very anxious to get rid of. When I got back to the old man's store, he was pacing the floor waiting for me to come. He had on his overcoat ready to go with me.

"'Vell,' said he, before giving me a chance to speak, 'I go right down mit you.'

"He was the craziest buyer I ever saw. It didn't take me more than twenty minutes to sell the $3,400."

"But how did you get on afterwards?" asked one of the boys.

"Don't speak of it," said Leonard. "The joke was so good that I gave it away to one of the boys after the bill had been s.h.i.+pped, and do you know, the old man got onto me and returned a big part of the bill. Of course, you know I've never gone near him since. Retribution, I suppose! That cured me of sharp tricks."

"A sharp game doesn't work out very well when you play it on your customer," spoke up one of the boys who sold bonds, "but it's all right to mislead your compet.i.tor once in a while, especially if he tries to find out things from you that he really hasn't any business to know. I was once over in Indiana. I had on me a pretty good line of six per cents. They were issued by a well-to-do little town out West.

You know, western bonds are really A-1 property, but the people in the East haven't yet got their eyes open to the value of property west of the Rockies.

"Well; when I reached this town, one of my friends tipped me onto one of my compet.i.tors who, he said, was going to be in that same town that afternoon. There were three prospective customers for us and we were both in the habit of going after the same people. Two of them were bankers,--one of them was pretty long winded; the other was a retired grain dealer who lived about a mile out of town. He was the man I really wished to go after. His name was Reidy and he was quite an old gentleman, always looking for a little inside on everything. I didn't wish to waste much time on the bankers before I'd taken a crack at the old man. I knew he'd just cashed in on some other bonds that he had bought from my firm and that he was probably open for another deal. I merely went over and shook hands with the bankers. One of them--the long winded one--asked me if I had a certain bond. I told him I didn't think I had,--that I'd 'phone in and find out. I got on the line with my old grain dealer friend and he said he'd be in town right after dinner. I would have gone out to see him but he preferred doing his business in town. By this time I knew my compet.i.tor would reach town so I ate dinner early and took chances on his still being in the dining room when Reidy would drive in. I knew that my compet.i.tor, if he got into town, would go right after the old gentleman just as quickly as he could.

"After dinner I sat down out in the public square smoking, and apparently taking the world at ease,--but I was fretting inside to beat the band! My compet.i.tor saw me from the hotel porch. He came over and shook hands--you know we're always ready to cut each other's throats but we do it with a smile and always put out the glad hand.

"'Well, Woody,' said he, 'you seem to be taking the world easy.

Business must have been good this week.'

"'Oh, fair,' I answered,--but it had really been rotten for several days.

"'Come and eat,' said he.

"'No, thanks, I've just been in. I'll see you after. I'll finish my cigar.'

"My compet.i.tor went in to dinner. About the time I knew he was getting along toward pie, I began to squirm. I lighted two or three matches and let them go out before I fired up my cigar. Still no Reidy had shown up. Pretty soon out came my compet.i.tor over into the park where I was. I knew that if he got his eyes on Reidy I would have to scramble for the old man's coin. So I managed to get him seated with his back toward the direction from which Reidy would come to town. The old man always drove a white horse. As I talked to my compet.i.tor I kept looking up the road--I could see for nearly half a mile--for that old white horse.

"'Well, have you left anything in town for me, Woody,' said he directly.

"About that time I saw the old man's horse jogging slowly but surely toward us.

"'Well, now, I'll tell you,' I said to him, 'I believe that if you'll go over to the bank just around the corner, you can do some business.

I was in there this morning and they asked me for a certain kind of paper that I haven't any left of. If you can scare up something of that kind, I think you can do some business with them there. I'll take you over, if you like.'

"I didn't want him to turn around because I knew that he, too, would see that old white horse and that I'd never get him to budge an inch until he had spoken with Reidy if he did,--and the old horse was coming trot! trot! trot!--closer every minute.

"'Well, say, that'll be good of you. I hate to leave you out here all alone resting and doing nothing,' said he.

"'Oh, that's all right. Come on,'--and with this I took him by the arm in a very friendly manner, keeping his back toward that old white horse, and walked him around the corner to the bank where I knew that he would be out of sight when the old man reached the public square.

"Just as I came around the corner after leaving my compet.i.tor Richards in the bank, there came plodding along the old man. Luckily he went down about a block to hitch his horse. I met him as he was coming back and carried him up to my room in the hotel. I laid my proposition before him and he said:

"'Well, that looks pretty good to me, but I'd like to go over here to the bank and talk to one of my friends there and see what he thinks of the lay-out.'

"'Which bank?' thought I. Well, as luck would have it, it was the other bank. 'Very well,' I said, 'I'll drop over there myself in a few minutes and have the papers all with me. We can fix the matter up over there. I'm sure the people in the bank will give this their hearty endors.e.m.e.nt.'

"As the old man walked across the park, two or three people met him and stopped him. My heart was thumping away because, even though the banker around the corner was long winded, it was about time for him to get through with Richards; but the old man went into the bank all right before Richards came out. Then I went over and sat down in the park. In a few minutes Richards came over where I was.

[Ill.u.s.tration: "Well, Woody," said he, "you seem to be taking the world pretty easy."]

"'Say, that was a good tip you gave me, Woody, I think I'll be able to do some business all right. I want to run into the hotel a few minutes, if you'll excuse me, and get into my grip. Say; but you're taking things easy! I wish I could get along as well as you do without worrying.'

"Richards left me and went into the hotel. I wanted to get him off as quickly as I could because I didn't know but that, any minute, the old gentleman would come out of the bank door. I hit a pretty lively pace to get in where he was. By that time, he had investigated my bonds and found that he wanted them. I took his check and gave him a receipt for it, and then walked with him over to where his horse was. I wanted to get him out of town as quickly as I could and keep my compet.i.tor from seeing him, if possible.

"Well, sir, everything worked smooth as a charm. As the old man's buggy was just crossing the bridge, out came Richards from the hotel.

I was again sitting in the park.

"'Heavens! you're taking it easy,' said he to me. 'How is it the firm can afford to pay you to go around these towns, sit in parks and smoke cigars, Woody?'

"'Oh, a man has to take a lay-off once in a while,' said I.

"I went over to the bank where the old man had been, and in a few minutes sold them some bonds. Then I came out and again sat down in the park a few minutes, waiting for Richards to get through so that I could go and see the other people where he was d.i.c.kering. Pretty soon he came out and he was swearing mad. He said, 'I've been wrangling with these people for a couple of hours and I can't get them into anything to save my life. I might just as well have been out here with you all this time, taking the world easy, for all the good I've done.'

"'Well, I guess I'll go over and take a crack at them again,' said I.

"'All right. Go ahead. I guess I'll skip the town,' but he didn't do a thing but get on the trolley which pa.s.sed out by old man Reidy's house, where he was, of course, too late. I went in where he had not been able to do business, and, now that my mind was easy, I took plenty of time and made a nice sale in there, too.

"About a week afterwards I met Richards, and he said, 'Well, Woody, you've got one coming on me. You weren't so idle as I thought all the time you were out there in the park.'"

"First call for dinner in the dining car," drawled out the white- ap.r.o.ned darkey as Woody finished his story.