Routledge's Manual of Etiquette Part 14

Abundance of light and free ventilation are indispensable to the spirits and comfort of the dancers.

Good music is as necessary to the prosperity of a ball as good wine to the excellence of a dinner. No hostess should tax her friends for this part of the entertainment. It is the most injudicious economy imaginable. Ladies who would prefer to dance are tied to the pianoforte; and as few amateurs have been trained in the art of playing dance music with that strict attention to time and accent which is absolutely necessary to the comfort of the dancers, a total and general discontent is sure to be the result. To play dance music thoroughly well is a branch of the art which requires considerable practice. It is as different from every other kind of playing as whale fis.h.i.+ng is from fly fis.h.i.+ng. Those who give private b.a.l.l.s will do well ever to bear this in mind, and to provide skilled musicians for the evening. For a small party, a piano and cornopean make a very pleasant combination. Unless where several instruments are engaged we do not recommend the introduction of the violin: although in some respects the finest of all solo instruments, it is apt to sound thin and shrill when employed on mere inexpressive dance tunes, and played by a mere dance player.

Invitations to a ball should be issued in the name of the lady of the house, and written on small note paper of the best quality. Elegant printed forms, some of them printed in gold or silver, are to be had at every stationer's by those who prefer them. The paper may be gilt-edged, but not coloured. The sealing-wax used should be of some delicate hue.

An invitation to a ball should be sent out at least ten days before the evening appointed. A fortnight, three weeks, and even a month may be allowed in the way of notice.

Not more than two or three days should be permitted to elapse before you reply to an invitation of this kind. The reply should always be addressed to the lady of the house, and should be couched in the same person as the invitation. The following are the forms generally in use:--

Mrs. Molyneux requests the honour of Captain Hamilton's company at an evening party, on Monday, March the 11th instant.

_Dancing will begin at Nine o'clock_.

Thursday, March 1st.

Captain Hamilton has much pleasure in accepting Mrs.

Molyneux's polite invitation for Monday evening, March the 11th instant.

Friday, March 2nd.

The old form of "presenting compliments" is now out of fas.h.i.+on.

If Mrs. Molyneux writes to Captain Hamilton in the first person, as "My dear Sir," he is bound in etiquette to reply "My dear Madam."

The lady who gives a ball[A] should endeavour to secure an equal number of dancers of both s.e.xes. Many private parties are spoiled by the preponderance of young ladies, some of whom never get partners at all, unless they dance with each other.

A room should in all cases be provided for the accommodation of the ladies. In this room there ought to be several looking-gla.s.ses; attendants to a.s.sist the fair visitors in the arrangement of their hair and dress; and some place in which the cloaks and shawls can be laid in order, and found at a moment's notice. It is well to affix tickets to the cloaks, giving a duplicate at the same time to each lady, as at the public theatres and concert-rooms. Needles and thread should also be at hand, to repair any little accident incurred in dancing.

Another room should be devoted to refreshments, and kept amply supplied with coffee, lemonade, ices, wine and biscuits during the evening. Where this cannot be arranged, the refreshments should be handed round between the dances.

The question of supper is one which so entirely depends on the means of those who give a ball or evening party, that very little can be said upon it in a treatise of this description. Where money is no object, it is of course always preferable to have the whole supper, "with all appliances and means to boot," sent in from some first-rate house. It spares all trouble whether to the entertainers or their servants, and relieves the hostess of every anxiety. Where circ.u.mstances render such a course imprudent, we would only observe that a home-provided supper, however simple, should be good of its kind, and abundant in quant.i.ty. Dancers are generally hungry people, and feel themselves much aggrieved if the supply of sandwiches proves unequal to the demand. Great inconvenience is often experienced by the difficulty of procuring cabs at the close of an evening party.

Gentlemen who have been dancing, and are unprepared for walking, object to go home on foot, or seek vehicles for their wives and daughters. Female servants who have been in attendance upon the visitors during a whole evening ought not to be sent out. If even men-servants are kept, they may find it difficult to procure as many cabs as are necessary. The best thing that the giver of a private ball can do under these circ.u.mstances, is to engage a policeman with a lantern to attend on the pavement during the evening, and to give notice during the morning at a neighbouring cab-stand, so as to ensure a sufficient number of vehicles at the time when they are likely to be required.

[Footnote A: It will be understood that we use the word "ball" to signify a private party, where there is dancing, as well as a public ball.]

II.--BALL-ROOM TOILETTE.

LADIES.

The style of a lady's dress is a matter so entirely dependent on age, means and fas.h.i.+on, that we can offer but little advice upon it.

Fas.h.i.+on is so variable, that statements which are true of it to-day may be false a month hence. Respecting no inst.i.tution of modern society is it so difficult to p.r.o.nounce half a dozen permanent rules.

We may perhaps be permitted to suggest the following leading principles; but we do so with diffidence. Rich colours harmonize with rich brunette complexions and dark hair. Delicate colours are the most suitable for delicate and fragile styles of beauty. Very young ladies are never so suitably attired as in white. Ladies who dance should wear dresses of light and diaphanous materials, such as _tulle_, gauze, c.r.a.pe, net, &c., over coloured silk slips. Silk dresses are not suitable for dancing. A married lady who dances only a few quadrilles may wear _a decolletee_ silk dress with propriety.

Very stout persons should never wear white. It has the effect of adding to the bulk of the figure.

Black and scarlet, or black and violet, are worn in mourning.

A lady in deep mourning should not dance at all.

However fas.h.i.+onable it may be to wear very long dresses, those ladies who go to a ball with the intention of dancing and enjoying the dance, should cause their dresses to be made short enough to clear the ground. We would ask them whether it is not better to accept this slight deviation from an absurd fas.h.i.+on, than to appear for three parts of the evening in a torn and pinned-up skirt?

Well-made shoes, whatever their colour or material, and faultless gloves, are indispensable to the effect of a ball-room toilette.

Much jewellery is out of place in a ball-room. Beautiful flowers, whether natural or artificial, are the loveliest ornaments that a lady can wear on these occasions.

GENTLEMEN.

A black suit, thin enamelled boots, a white neckcloth, and white or delicate grey gloves, are the chief points of a gentleman's ball-room toilette. He may wear an embroidered s.h.i.+rt; and his waistcoat may be of silk. White waistcoats are no longer fas.h.i.+onable. Much display of jewellery is no proof of good taste. A handsome watch-chain, with, perhaps, the addition of a few costly trifles suspended to it, and a set of s.h.i.+rt-studs, are the only adornments of this kind that a gentleman should wear. The studs should be small, but good.[A]

A gentleman's dress is necessarily so simple that it admits of no compromise in point of quality and style. The material should be the best that money can procure, and the fas.h.i.+on unexceptionable. So much of the outward man depends on his tailor, that we would urge no gentleman to economise in this matter.

[Footnote A: See "Etiquette for Gentlemen," Sec. VII.]

III.--ETIQUETTE OF THE BALL-ROOM.[A]

On entering the ball-room, the visitor should at once seek the lady of the house, and pay his respects to her. Having done this, he may exchange salutations with such friends and acquaintances as may be in the room.

If the ball be a public one, and a gentleman desires to dance with any lady to whom he is a stranger, he must apply to the master of the ceremonies for an introduction.

Even in private b.a.l.l.s, no gentleman can invite a lady to dance without a previous introduction. This introduction should be effected through the lady of the house, or a member of her family.

No lady should accept an invitation to dance from a gentleman to whom she has not been introduced. In case any gentleman should commit the error of so inviting her, she should not excuse herself on the plea of a previous engagement, or of fatigue, as to do so would imply that she did not herself attach due importance to the necessary ceremony of introduction. Her best reply would be to the effect that she would have much pleasure in accepting his invitation, if he would procure an introduction to her. This observation may be taken as applying only to public b.a.l.l.s. At a private party the host and hostess are sufficient guarantees for the respectability of their guests; and, although a gentleman would show a singular want of knowledge of the laws of society in acting as we have supposed, the lady who should reply to him as if he were merely an impertinent stranger in a public a.s.sembly-room, would be implying an affront to her entertainers.

The mere fact of being a.s.sembled together under the roof of a mutual friend, is in itself a kind of general introduction of the guests to each other.

An introduction given for the mere purpose of enabling a lady and gentleman to go through a dance together, does not const.i.tute an acquaintances.h.i.+p. The lady is at liberty to pa.s.s the gentleman in the park the next day without recognition.

No gentleman should venture to bow to a lady upon the strength of a ball-room introduction, unless she does him the honour to recognize him first. If he commits this solecism he must not be surprised to find that she does not return his salutation.

No gentleman should accept an invitation to a ball if he does not dance. When ladies are present who would be pleased to receive an invitation, those gentleman who hold themselves aloof are guilty, not only of a negative, but a positive act of neglect.

To attempt to dance without a knowledge of dancing is not only to make one's self ridiculous, but one's partner also. No lady or gentleman has the right to place a partner in this absurd position.

Never forget a ball-room engagement. To do so is to commit an unpardonable offence against good breeding.

It is not necessary that a lady or gentleman should be acquainted with the _steps_, in order to walk gracefully and easily through a quadrille. An easy carriage and a knowledge of the figure is all that is requisite. A round dance, however, should on no account be attempted without a thorough knowledge of the steps, and some previous practice.

No person who has not a good ear for time and tune need hope to dance well.

At the conclusion of a dance, the gentleman bows to his partner, and either promenades with her round the room, or takes her to a seat.