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Chapter 28
Chapter 28 – Its difficult to trust you “ I just want you to stay with me…” My ears roared with an endless buzzing as I heard this. Ye Zhengchen stared at Yu Yin for a long time as he stood next to the car. Then, he turned and slammed the door of the car with full force.
Seeing this, my legs could no longer support me and I fell to the ground. The sound of me falling to the ground caught his attention and he looked towards me. I looked at him as well He was only a few meters away, but I had the strange feeling that he was far, far away… Slowly, I grabbed the tree trunk to help me stand. Then I started walking away from him, not knowing where I was headed. The only thing I wanted to do was to go as far away from all this as I possibly could. He rushed a few steps and caught me from behind. Angrily, I turned and pushed him away. “Don’t touch me!” I shouted, my body trembling with fury. Behind me was a beautiful garden. But I felt as if I was standing on the edge of a cliff. With the slightest misstep, my body would fall down and shatter into tiny pieces. “ Girl..”, Ye Zhengchen grabbed my wrist.” Listen to me, there is nothing going on between Yu Yin and me…” Yu Yin laughed out merrily. “ Ye Zhengchen, now you want to lie to her as well?” “ Shut up!” Ye Zhengchen didn’t even turn to look at her. Instead, his hand tightly grabbed my wrist, as if afraid that I would escape. Yu Yin really shut up. But I could hear her laughing in her heart, fine, continue deceiving this stupid girl. As I turned away, Ye Zhengchen again pulled me towards himself. This time I completely lost my mind. Desperately, I hit him again and again. I kicked him, pinched him, scratched him and bit him. He didn’t even try to evade me. He just kept holding on to my wrist as he allowed me to vent until I exhausted all the strength in my body. In the ensuing silence, my eyes went back to Yu Yin She was silently watching us, not a trace of emotion on her face. Suddenly, I was really frightened… I had a feeling that she wasn’t the least bit surprised with all of this, she hadn’t panicked at all! All this time, it was as if she had been waiting for this to happen. As this thought dawned on me, I stopped crying and struggling. I foolishly stared at her beautiful face, waiting for the mask to fall away Ye Zhengchen saw me calm down and asked,” Do you trust me?” The tears started to flow again. “ How could I trust you? If I had not found out today, how long were you going to continue lying to me? Three months? Three years? A lifetime?” He was speechless. He had asked me to trust him and I had really, truly tried to convince myself to trust him wholeheartedly. Even when I saw the same curtains in Yu Yin’s room, when I saw the books, when I could smell the fragrance of J’adore, I still held on to a teeny weeny bit of hope. I still wanted to confirm that what I suspected was indeed correct. But now, the gorgeous coat of lies had finally fallen open to reveal the ugly truth. I had seen this ugly and shameless truth with my own eyes, how could I continue to trust him? I had fallen in love with such a man, now how would I retreat? …… … “Girl!” The sweetest call in the world brought back so many happy memories. I raised my tear drenched face to him and saw an indefinable helplessness in his eyes. The ache in my heart was killing me. The voice in my heart said, give him a chance, give yourself a chance. Don’t lose a person you love because of a misunderstanding. I wiped my tears and asked him, “Tell me the truth…what is her relations.h.i.+p with you?”This was the last chance I was going to give him. He answered me firmly, “It doesn’t matter.” I slapped him hard, the sound echoing through the silent night. Shouting loudly, I asked him, “If you have no relations.h.i.+p, then why do you have a key to her house? Why is she willing to hide the truth for you? If you have no relations.h.i.+p, then why does she allow you to come into the house? Ye Zhengchen, where is your conscience?” He held on to my hand tightly. He said, “I told you… I am not a free man. There are things in my life I cannot control…” He continued, “You promised me that come what may, you will always trust me.” I shook my head. “At that time, you didn’t tell me that you had another woman on the side.” “I am just going to ask you one thing, do you trust me?” “I don’t know anymore”, I said finally. Looking at his disappointed and helpless expression, I thought of us in the past. When we ate hotpot together, when we visited Aras.h.i.+yama, the rainy night when he picked me up from work, and another rainy night when we came together over and over, in the car and in the bathroom, and when he gave me his promise… Did I still trust him now? I didn’t trust him and I didn’t trust myself anymore. I hesitated for a moment, then finally came to a decision. I slowly took out my hand from his grasp and tried to unbuckle the band at my wrist. But my eyes were unseeing and my hand was trembling “ Girl?” I finally unbuckled the band. I took off the watch and put it in his hand. Then I said, “ Let’s break up!” He had told me that I had the right to call it off whenever I wanted. This was the only right I had… I walked away. I looked up at the sky. The tears had stopped falling This time, he didn’t try to catch up with me We were finished, completely and utterly finished. Were we completely done? The thought of us really ending with cold finality made my legs go weak, as if they were no longer able to support the rest of my body. I sped up my pace, trying to escape quickly But suddenly, the earth started spinning around me… Silently, I crumbled to the ground. I felt a powerful pair of arms holding me up. After that, I blanked out. …… … In my dreamless sleep, I could feel someone kiss me. With his tongue, he stubbornly invaded my mouth and hot, sweet milk dripped into my mouth, running down my dry throat. My stomach was empty. Eagerly, I swallowed the milk, feeling the discomfort in my stomach ease up Again and again, I tried to open my eyes to see who this person was, to confirm that this wasn’t Ye Zhengchen , but my eyelids refused to open. Finally, I fell asleep. …… … When I woke up again, I was lying on my bed and Ye Zhengchen was sitting at my bedside. When he saw that I had woken up, he offered me a gla.s.s of milk. I sat up and sneered, “ Isn’t it too late now?” “ First drink the milk, then we can talk about what happened.” “ I have nothing to say to you. Please get out!” He took a big mouthful of the milk. I froze for a moment. Before I could react, he leaned over and kissed me The sweet milk entered my mouth. I was hungry and tired, but I resisted swallowing. He put down the cup and encircled my waist, drawing my body closer to his. He had never kissed me like that. I couldn’t breathe, so I yielded and opened my mouth to swallow the milk. When he reached his goal, he took the cup from the table and looked challengingly at me. When a man is determined to act like a rogue, there is little anyone can do. I had no choice but to take the cup from him and gulp down the milk Once I had finished, I felt a lot more comfortable. Clearly, he had added some medicine to the milk. He sat up and started to speak slowly,” I am sorry, I should not have hidden this from you.” “After all that has happened, what is the point of saying sorry now?” Everything between us is over, I kept repeating to myself, for fear that I may accidentally forget it. “ Yu Yin and I don’t have the kind of relations.h.i.+p you think we do”. He looked at me sincerely and directly, a look anyone would think was trustworthy. “ Her father and mine are close friends and Yu Yin and I were cla.s.smates at college.” I was shocked. “You know her for so long?” “ Yes, for more than a decade.” “ Childhood swwethearts?”, I smiled ironically. My hand secretly clenched the cup, waiting for him to continue. “ I admit that she is a good girl and even my parents like her. But I hate it if someone tries to manipulate my life. Although we were in college together, naturally, I completely ignored Yu Yin.” I suddenly remembered Zhong Tim, and my mother’s constant nagging. Sometimes parental pressure could be suffocating and unavoidable “ Two years ago, they wanted me to accompany Yu Yin to study in j.a.pan. I refused flatly. But they still sent her over… do you remember that on the day of my birthday, a woman had called me?” I nodded and continued to listen to him. “ That day, she landed in Osaka and called me from the airport. Although I really didn’t like her, I didn’t have the heart to leave her alone at the airport. I put her up in a hotel and came back, thinking I would discuss with you on what I should do. But you were drunk and you kept saying, ‘ One day when we break up…’” “ I knew then that you didn’t trust me. That you had too many misconceptions about me.” Ye Zhengchen sighed. “ After all, we had been together for only a short period of time , you had your feelings of insecurity. I worried that you would not be able to accept the existence of Yu Yin and that you would leave me… So I hid all this from you and arranged a place to stay for her.” Quietly, he pulled my quilt and hugged me. Then he said, “ I wanted to wait till you trusted me some more and Yu Yin familiarised herself in Osaka so she could take care of herself. Then I would tell you everything. In the meantime, work also became too demanding. I didn’t expect to b.u.mp into her at the convenience store. I didn’t know how to explain all this to you so I pretended we were strangers.” I could get a little inkling of what had gone through his mind, but I had to find out something he had conveniently missed. “She likes you, doesn’t she?” “ It’s embarra.s.sing”, he smiled bitterly,” I know you couldn’t tolerate me interacting with a woman who likes me , so I pretended not to know her at the store.” “ Do you really not like her?” “ If I liked her, I would have brought her with me two years ago. Why wait for her to come now after I met you?” He sighed again,” Girl, we have been together for so long now. You should know my feelings regarding you. If I really had feelings for Yu Yin, I would tell you directly, why would I want to deceive you?” If what he said was true, then it didn’t seem like he had committed some grave and unforgivable mistake. But Yu Yin had said that when I got to know of their relations.h.i.+p, I would leave him. And Ye Zhengchen seemed to have someone or something holding his strings. I had a feeling that he was hiding something from me , something very critical. “ You haven’t slept with her have you ?”
Chapter 28 – Its difficult to trust you “ I just want you to stay with me…” My ears roared with an endless buzzing as I heard this. Ye Zhengchen stared at Yu Yin for a long time as he stood next to the car. Then, he turned and slammed the door of the car with full force.
Seeing this, my legs could no longer support me and I fell to the ground. The sound of me falling to the ground caught his attention and he looked towards me. I looked at him as well He was only a few meters away, but I had the strange feeling that he was far, far away… Slowly, I grabbed the tree trunk to help me stand. Then I started walking away from him, not knowing where I was headed. The only thing I wanted to do was to go as far away from all this as I possibly could. He rushed a few steps and caught me from behind. Angrily, I turned and pushed him away. “Don’t touch me!” I shouted, my body trembling with fury. Behind me was a beautiful garden. But I felt as if I was standing on the edge of a cliff. With the slightest misstep, my body would fall down and shatter into tiny pieces. “ Girl..”, Ye Zhengchen grabbed my wrist.” Listen to me, there is nothing going on between Yu Yin and me…” Yu Yin laughed out merrily. “ Ye Zhengchen, now you want to lie to her as well?” “ Shut up!” Ye Zhengchen didn’t even turn to look at her. Instead, his hand tightly grabbed my wrist, as if afraid that I would escape. Yu Yin really shut up. But I could hear her laughing in her heart, fine, continue deceiving this stupid girl. As I turned away, Ye Zhengchen again pulled me towards himself. This time I completely lost my mind. Desperately, I hit him again and again. I kicked him, pinched him, scratched him and bit him. He didn’t even try to evade me. He just kept holding on to my wrist as he allowed me to vent until I exhausted all the strength in my body. In the ensuing silence, my eyes went back to Yu Yin She was silently watching us, not a trace of emotion on her face. Suddenly, I was really frightened… I had a feeling that she wasn’t the least bit surprised with all of this, she hadn’t panicked at all! All this time, it was as if she had been waiting for this to happen. As this thought dawned on me, I stopped crying and struggling. I foolishly stared at her beautiful face, waiting for the mask to fall away Ye Zhengchen saw me calm down and asked,” Do you trust me?” The tears started to flow again. “ How could I trust you? If I had not found out today, how long were you going to continue lying to me? Three months? Three years? A lifetime?” He was speechless. He had asked me to trust him and I had really, truly tried to convince myself to trust him wholeheartedly. Even when I saw the same curtains in Yu Yin’s room, when I saw the books, when I could smell the fragrance of J’adore, I still held on to a teeny weeny bit of hope. I still wanted to confirm that what I suspected was indeed correct. But now, the gorgeous coat of lies had finally fallen open to reveal the ugly truth. I had seen this ugly and shameless truth with my own eyes, how could I continue to trust him? I had fallen in love with such a man, now how would I retreat? …… … “Girl!” The sweetest call in the world brought back so many happy memories. I raised my tear drenched face to him and saw an indefinable helplessness in his eyes. The ache in my heart was killing me. The voice in my heart said, give him a chance, give yourself a chance. Don’t lose a person you love because of a misunderstanding. I wiped my tears and asked him, “Tell me the truth…what is her relations.h.i.+p with you?”This was the last chance I was going to give him. He answered me firmly, “It doesn’t matter.” I slapped him hard, the sound echoing through the silent night. Shouting loudly, I asked him, “If you have no relations.h.i.+p, then why do you have a key to her house? Why is she willing to hide the truth for you? If you have no relations.h.i.+p, then why does she allow you to come into the house? Ye Zhengchen, where is your conscience?” He held on to my hand tightly. He said, “I told you… I am not a free man. There are things in my life I cannot control…” He continued, “You promised me that come what may, you will always trust me.” I shook my head. “At that time, you didn’t tell me that you had another woman on the side.” “I am just going to ask you one thing, do you trust me?” “I don’t know anymore”, I said finally. Looking at his disappointed and helpless expression, I thought of us in the past. When we ate hotpot together, when we visited Aras.h.i.+yama, the rainy night when he picked me up from work, and another rainy night when we came together over and over, in the car and in the bathroom, and when he gave me his promise… Did I still trust him now? I didn’t trust him and I didn’t trust myself anymore. I hesitated for a moment, then finally came to a decision. I slowly took out my hand from his grasp and tried to unbuckle the band at my wrist. But my eyes were unseeing and my hand was trembling “ Girl?” I finally unbuckled the band. I took off the watch and put it in his hand. Then I said, “ Let’s break up!” He had told me that I had the right to call it off whenever I wanted. This was the only right I had… I walked away. I looked up at the sky. The tears had stopped falling This time, he didn’t try to catch up with me We were finished, completely and utterly finished. Were we completely done? The thought of us really ending with cold finality made my legs go weak, as if they were no longer able to support the rest of my body. I sped up my pace, trying to escape quickly But suddenly, the earth started spinning around me… Silently, I crumbled to the ground. I felt a powerful pair of arms holding me up. After that, I blanked out. …… … In my dreamless sleep, I could feel someone kiss me. With his tongue, he stubbornly invaded my mouth and hot, sweet milk dripped into my mouth, running down my dry throat. My stomach was empty. Eagerly, I swallowed the milk, feeling the discomfort in my stomach ease up Again and again, I tried to open my eyes to see who this person was, to confirm that this wasn’t Ye Zhengchen , but my eyelids refused to open. Finally, I fell asleep. …… … When I woke up again, I was lying on my bed and Ye Zhengchen was sitting at my bedside. When he saw that I had woken up, he offered me a gla.s.s of milk. I sat up and sneered, “ Isn’t it too late now?” “ First drink the milk, then we can talk about what happened.” “ I have nothing to say to you. Please get out!” He took a big mouthful of the milk. I froze for a moment. Before I could react, he leaned over and kissed me The sweet milk entered my mouth. I was hungry and tired, but I resisted swallowing. He put down the cup and encircled my waist, drawing my body closer to his. He had never kissed me like that. I couldn’t breathe, so I yielded and opened my mouth to swallow the milk. When he reached his goal, he took the cup from the table and looked challengingly at me. When a man is determined to act like a rogue, there is little anyone can do. I had no choice but to take the cup from him and gulp down the milk Once I had finished, I felt a lot more comfortable. Clearly, he had added some medicine to the milk. He sat up and started to speak slowly,” I am sorry, I should not have hidden this from you.” “After all that has happened, what is the point of saying sorry now?” Everything between us is over, I kept repeating to myself, for fear that I may accidentally forget it. “ Yu Yin and I don’t have the kind of relations.h.i.+p you think we do”. He looked at me sincerely and directly, a look anyone would think was trustworthy. “ Her father and mine are close friends and Yu Yin and I were cla.s.smates at college.” I was shocked. “You know her for so long?” “ Yes, for more than a decade.” “ Childhood swwethearts?”, I smiled ironically. My hand secretly clenched the cup, waiting for him to continue. “ I admit that she is a good girl and even my parents like her. But I hate it if someone tries to manipulate my life. Although we were in college together, naturally, I completely ignored Yu Yin.” I suddenly remembered Zhong Tim, and my mother’s constant nagging. Sometimes parental pressure could be suffocating and unavoidable “ Two years ago, they wanted me to accompany Yu Yin to study in j.a.pan. I refused flatly. But they still sent her over… do you remember that on the day of my birthday, a woman had called me?” I nodded and continued to listen to him. “ That day, she landed in Osaka and called me from the airport. Although I really didn’t like her, I didn’t have the heart to leave her alone at the airport. I put her up in a hotel and came back, thinking I would discuss with you on what I should do. But you were drunk and you kept saying, ‘ One day when we break up…’” “ I knew then that you didn’t trust me. That you had too many misconceptions about me.” Ye Zhengchen sighed. “ After all, we had been together for only a short period of time , you had your feelings of insecurity. I worried that you would not be able to accept the existence of Yu Yin and that you would leave me… So I hid all this from you and arranged a place to stay for her.” Quietly, he pulled my quilt and hugged me. Then he said, “ I wanted to wait till you trusted me some more and Yu Yin familiarised herself in Osaka so she could take care of herself. Then I would tell you everything. In the meantime, work also became too demanding. I didn’t expect to b.u.mp into her at the convenience store. I didn’t know how to explain all this to you so I pretended we were strangers.” I could get a little inkling of what had gone through his mind, but I had to find out something he had conveniently missed. “She likes you, doesn’t she?” “ It’s embarra.s.sing”, he smiled bitterly,” I know you couldn’t tolerate me interacting with a woman who likes me , so I pretended not to know her at the store.” “ Do you really not like her?” “ If I liked her, I would have brought her with me two years ago. Why wait for her to come now after I met you?” He sighed again,” Girl, we have been together for so long now. You should know my feelings regarding you. If I really had feelings for Yu Yin, I would tell you directly, why would I want to deceive you?” If what he said was true, then it didn’t seem like he had committed some grave and unforgivable mistake. But Yu Yin had said that when I got to know of their relations.h.i.+p, I would leave him. And Ye Zhengchen seemed to have someone or something holding his strings. I had a feeling that he was hiding something from me , something very critical. “ You haven’t slept with her have you ?”
