Mr. Punch's Life in London - LightNovelsOnl.com
You're reading novel online at LightNovelsOnl.com. Please use the follow button to get notifications about your favorite novels and its latest chapters so you can come back anytime and won't miss anything.
[Ill.u.s.tration: ONE OF "LIFE'S LITTLE IRONIES"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: OVERHEARD OUTSIDE A FAMOUS RESTAURANT
"Hullo, Gus! What are you waiting about here for?"
"I'm waiting till the banks close. I want to cash a cheque!"]
"UNSATISFACTORY COMMERCIAL RELATIONS."--Our "uncles."
COUNTRY SHAREHOLDERS.--Ploughmen.
[Ill.u.s.tration: _Working Man, sitting on the steps of a big house in, say, Russell Square, smoking pipe. A mate pa.s.ses by with plumbing tools, &c._
_Man with tools._ "Hullo, Jim! Wot are yer doin' 'ere? Caretakin'?"
_Man on steps._ "No. I'm the howner, 'ere."
_Man with tools._ "'Ow's that?"
_Man on steps._ "Why, I did a bit o' plumbing in the 'ouse, an' I took the place in part payment for the job."]
[Ill.u.s.tration: THE GLORIOUS FIFTH
_Benevolent Lady_ (_fond of the good old customs_). "Here, my boy, is something for your guy."
_Conscientious Youth._ "We ain't got no guy, mum; this 'ere's grandfather!"]
A "YOUNG SHAVER."--A barber's baby.
JOINT ACCOUNT.--A butcher's bill.
[Ill.u.s.tration: AFTER "THE SLUMP" IN THE CITY.--_Weak Speculator in South African market_ (_about to pay the barber who has been shaving him_). "A s.h.i.+lling! eh? Why, your charge used to be only sixpence." _City Barber._ "Yes, sir; _but you've got such a long face_, we're obliged to increase the price!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: "I don't arst yer fer money. I don't _want_ money. Wot I wants is bread. _'Ave_ yer got such a thing as a bit o' bread about yer, me lord?"]
THE PROMOTER'S VADE MEc.u.m
(_Subject to Revision after the Vacation_)
_Question._ What is meant by the promotion of a company?
_Answer._ The process of separating capital from its possessor.
_Q._ How is this end accomplished?
_A._ By the preparation and publication of a prospectus.
_Q._ Of what does a prospectus consist?
_A._ A front page and a statement of facts.
_Q._ Define a front page.
_A._ The bait covering the hook, the lane leading to the pitfall, the lath concealing the quagmire--occasionally.
_Q._ Of what is a front page composed?
_A._ t.i.tles, and other suggestions of respectability.
_Q._ How are these suggestions obtained?
_A._ In the customary fas.h.i.+on.
_Q._ Can a banking account be put to any particular service in the promotion of a company?
_A._ Certainly; it eases the wheels in all directions.
_Q._ Can it obtain the good-will of the Press?
_A._ Only of questionable and usually short-lived periodicals.
_Q._ But the destination of the cash scarcely affects the promoter?
_A._ No; for he loses in any case.
_Q._ How much of his profits does he sometimes have to disgorge?
