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Told by the Death's Head Part 27

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"From this it is clear that those conchologists, who have created a veritable social revolution with their _scalaria retrotorsa_, and have shaken the foundations of prosperity in the Dutch low countries, have accidentally come upon such sh.e.l.ls which, in consequence of an antipathetic propinquity, have reversed their order of building--and by so doing, my dear lady, have caused you great loss and sorrow. But, you need sorrow no longer, if you will graciously a.s.sent to my proposition. It will, I feel confident, bring you a fortune so enormous that even the queen regent will envy you!"

"But, what is your proposition?" queried the pious soul, and for the first time, half of her face emerged from the depths of her cap.

"It is this, gracious lady: Order your agents to bring from the ocean living _scalaria_, and _nautili_, which are to be secured with least trouble during the mating season. We will prepare for them here a large basin of sea-water, with sand from the bottom of the ocean. In this we will plant sea-weeds, place our living sh.e.l.ls among them, and feed them with star-fish, holothures, and other soft-bodied marine creatures. After a season our sh.e.l.l-fish will sp.a.w.n; the eggs of the _scalaria_ cling together--like a string of pearls; those of the _nautili_ adhere to one another by sixes, in shape of a star.

"When we shall have secured a number of broods, we will fasten together the ends of a _scalaria_ string, forming a circle, in the center of which we will place a star of _nautilus_ sp.a.w.n; and you will see, when the tiny creatures escape from the eggs, that they will build their houses in a reversed order from the parent sh.e.l.l."

My plan was quite clear to the fair widow; she gave her orders at once to her agents, for the _scalaria_, and _nautili_, and from that moment treated me with great respect and affability.

Meanwhile, I continued to perform my duties: I polished my guns mornings; inspected the soldiers' coats, to see if any of the b.u.t.tons had been sewed on wrong side up--the lower part of the state's coat of arms uppermost--and reported to the captain that everything was in order. Sat.u.r.day evenings I attended to setting off the fire-works; and every week-day afternoon I worked in the widow's garden.

What I earned I laid by. I never touched pipe, nor gla.s.s--not even when they were offered to me; and to whomsoever I addressed a remark, I gave the t.i.tle belonging to him. Thus, I gained the respect of all my fellow-citizens. I had become what I had long desired: a respectable G.o.d-fearing man--

"Now, look out for a special bit of rascality;" _sotto voce_, interjected the chair.

I admit it was to win promotion that I conducted myself with such propriety, continued the prisoner. I was extremely desirous of attaining a lieutenancy.

When the living _scalaria_, and _nautili_, arrived together with the creatures which were to serve as food for them, they were placed in the large basin with a wall about it, I had prepared for them in the lower portion of the tulip garden; and in due time the sp.a.w.n was ready for further operation.

My gracious employer was greatly surprised to learn that the eggs of the sh.e.l.l-fish have a peculiarity which distinguishes them from the eggs of birds and insects. With the development of the embryonic fish, its envelope also extends; one such egg, which at first is hardly as large as a lentil, increases to the size of a hazel-nut. In this condition its outer covering is very thin--merely a transparent membrane, through which the now quickened animal may be seen revolving with the celerity of a spinning top. One may even detect the pulsations of its heart.

"The fellow has actually taken it upon himself to deliver a lecture on malacology!" irritably interposed the chair. "I am sorry to prolong the hearing, your honor," deferentially returned the prisoner, "but, I beg you will allow me to finish what I have to say on this subject, in order that I may explain why I was accused of conjuring. I desire to prove that what I did was not accomplished by aid of any infernal power; but through my own intelligence, in discovering, and making use of one of Nature's secrets."

As I mentioned before, one may perceive, in the embryonic mollusk, the incessant rotary movement from left to right. In order to keep the two antipathetic broods constantly in the close juxtaposition necessary to influence their development, I was obliged to handle them frequently, as the eggs would move about--

"Stop!" interrupted the chair, "mollusks have no eyes; how then were those you hatched able to see their antipathetic neighbors, and move away from them?"

Their antipathetic sensations informed them. Though mollusks have no eyes, they are endowed with other remarkable organs--such as are not found in warm-blooded animals. However, to cut my story short, the quickened _scalaria_, and _nautili_, immediately began to form their sh.e.l.ls in the reversed order I had expected, and the secret of fabulous enrichment was solved.

During the mysterious process of nature--while the sh.e.l.l-fish were industriously rearing their priceless houses--my patroness daily spent a half hour or more beside the sea-water basin; and would even, now and then, a.s.sist me to restore the creatures to their proper positions.

At first she would push her sleeves only an inch or two above the wrists; but, after awhile, they were tucked above the elbows, and I could admire as much as I wanted the beautiful white arms--a favor no modest woman will allow anyone but her own husband.

As the work had to be done, and as we did not want a third party to have cognizance of our experiment, the fair widow was obliged to a.s.sist me, and the natural result of the bared arms was: I became her legal husband. Therefore, it was neither through magic, nor witch-craft, nor yet through seductive arts employed by myself, that I became the legal protector of the richest, and handsomest young widow in Nimeguen.

("The truth of the matter is: the modest Dutch widow bewitched the valiant gunner, and compelled him to marry her!" was the chair's sarcastic interpolation.)

Well, be that as it may, the lady was amply rewarded for marrying me.

The _scalaria retrotorsa_ resulting from my experiment, brought her enormous wealth. We did not know, at last, what to do with all the money that kept pouring into our coffers; but, the larger portion of her reward by far, she found in the conjugal fidelity I vowed to her.

I would not have believed that I possessed so many of the attributes necessary to the making of a pattern husband, and my wife would have been entirely satisfied with me, had I been a captain like her first spouse.

But I was only a gunner!

My predecessor had been a captain, it is true, but he had never seen a battle; and when, on _Corpus Christi_, he commanded the city militia, and gave orders to fire the salute, he always pressed his hands against his ears to shut out the noise.

Still, his t.i.tle gave his wife the right to call herself "Frau Hauptmannin;" while, as my wife she was merely "Constablerinn"--a degradation intolerable to any proud-spirited woman.

I tried to purchase at least a lieutenant's commission; but there were fifty-six applicants for the position ahead of me; and there was no telling how many years I should have to wait for my turn.

My wife at last became so sensitive that, in order to escape being addressed by the inferior t.i.tle, she ceased to go out of the house; and when she had occasion to make mention of me to any one, she always spoke, or wrote, in this wise: "The husband of the widow of Captain Tobias van der Bullen." That honorable and high-born gentlemen, is how I came to be called--through no fault of mine!--by my twelfth false name: "Tobias van der Bullen."

I must confess, it was an extremely dull life. Of what use to us were the h.o.a.rds of gold in the treasure-chests? We did not know how to spend them. I did not drink wine; I was not allowed to smoke at home, because it was an unclean habit. And I was always at home, when not at the barracks, because I had nowhere else to go.

At the merchants' casino, of which I might have become a member had I so elected, all the conversation was about matters I could not endure.

The men were so grave and sedate, there was no fun in trying to play tricks on them; and the women were virtuous to such a degree, that not one of them would have allowed a barn-yard c.o.c.k to scratch worms for more than one hen.

As all married men know, women are peculiar creatures. There are times when they become impressed with a desire to possess certain things that--so say the sagacious doctors--it is unwise, nay dangerous, to refuse to gratify the request. I have heard said, that a woman has been known to long for a dish of shoemaker's paste; another believed she would collapse if she did not get a frog to devour; still another, vowed she could not survive, if her husband did not rise from his bed at midnight, and hasten to the nearest grocery for a box of superfine wagon grease!

Now, my wife was seized with a longing to possess a sheet of parchment--a desire, you will say, that might easily have been gratified. But, the sort of parchment she wanted did not grow on every bus.h.!.+ A doc.u.ment, engrossed with the words which certified that her husband was a captain, was what she craved. But, where was I to procure it?

Chance one day brought me face to face with an old acquaintance, Mynheer Ruissen. He recognized me at once. It would have been useless to deny my ident.i.ty; moreover, there had been established between us a certain good-fellows.h.i.+p that justified me in believing I might safely take him into my confidence.

He told me how zealously the officers of the law were searching throughout Germany for the fugitive, who had subst.i.tuted tin church-vessels for the gold and silver ones used in the Templars'

castle; and for having caused the wonderful metamorphosis of the Hamburg moo-calf.

("Fine phrases for robbery, and a.s.sa.s.sination!" commented the chair).

It was fortunate for me that I was known in Holland only under the name of my wife's deceased husband; had the worthy Dutchmen known who I was, the German authorities would not have remained long in ignorance as to the whereabouts of the fugitive criminal they were seeking.

I confided to Mynheer Ruissen my desire to obtain the t.i.tle of captain in order to prevent my wife from grieving herself to death.

"Well, my son," he observed after a moment's deliberation, "it isn't such an easy matter to get to be a captain--on sh.o.r.e. There is no war now. These Hollanders prefer to look on fighting at a distance. If you want to become a captain, come with me to sea. I am on my way to East India, with small arms and cannons for the nabob Nujuf Khan, of Bengal. There's a general in his army, who is a countryman of yours--a Reinhard Walter. He was an adventurer like yourself when he went to India; and now he is a distinguished man. He changed his name to 'Sommer,' and the natives out yonder call him 'Sumro.' He is in need of soldiers, especially skilled gunners. If you will come with me--who can tell?--you may become not only a captain, but a prince within a twelve-month."

The tales Mynheer Ruissen related of General Sommer's success in Bengal were so marvelous, they inflamed me with the desire to try my fortune in that distant land; besides, the wearisome dullness of my monotonous existence in Nimeguen was driving me to madness. I decided to accompany the Mynheer, whom I introduced to my wife. She was almost beside herself with delight, when he told her he knew of a land in which there grew a tree, called the banyan, with a thousand branches, every one bearing a hundred figs, in every one of which might be found a captain's commission. And these wonderful figs might be had for the plucking, by any one who would take the trouble to journey to that distant land.

"You must start at once, my dear," said my wife in urgent tones--as if she feared there might not be any of the figs left for me, if I delayed going immediately. "At once! You must on no account miss the s.h.i.+p!"

With her own hands she packed everything I should need for the journey--not forgetting soap and tooth-brushes! And she did not weep at parting with me. You see, the women of Holland become accustomed to having their husbands go away on long journeys, to be absent for years. I confess I was not sorry to go; for, I knew that, if I stopped at home, when the third member of the family arrived, it would be my task to rock the cradle. I preferred to be rocked myself by the waves on a good s.h.i.+p!

Two days later I bade farewell for a time to Europe, and set sail with Mynheer Ruissen for India. A favorable wind sent us skimming out of the harbor; my wife waved a farewell with her handkerchief from the sh.o.r.e.

"Did you commit any crimes on the high seas?" This query from the chair interrupted the voyage for a few moments.

"Nothing worth mentioning, your honor."

"Then, just skip over the entire ocean, and don't waste our time with descriptions of flying-fish, and chanting mermaids. Debark without further delay in Bengal, and let us hear what rascalities you perpetrated there?"

PART VIII.

IN BENGAL.

CHAPTER I.

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