The Tale of Major Monkey Part 7

At that, Mr. Crow--who was the cook--spoke up and said that he was going to stay with the army.

"I don't see," he said, "how you could get along without me. An army without a cook is as good as lost."

Major Monkey promptly agreed with Mr. Crow.

"Certainly we mustn't get lost," he said. "If we were lost, the enemy never could find us. And we might wander about in the woods for years and years."

His remarks made some of the generals a bit uneasy. And one of them--a soldier called Billy Woodchuck--announced that he would have to be leaving.

XII

Over and Under

When Billy Woodchuck talked about leaving the army, Major Monkey became greatly excited. He muttered something under his breath about _deserters_, and _shooting them at sunrise_. And he strutted up to Billy Woodchuck and asked him what he meant by quitting the army without permission.

Though Billy Woodchuck hung his head, he insisted that he must go home.

"I have an engagement," he explained, "to stand guard in the clover-patch, while my father and some other old gentlemen feast on clover-tops."

"Are they expecting an attack?" Major Monkey inquired, p.r.i.c.king up his ears.

"Of course not!" said Billy Woodchuck. "They're not _expecting_ one, or they would stay safe at home. But you never can tell what old dog Spot is going to do. My father and his friends would be disappointed if I didn't come. They would be angry, too. And just as likely as not I'd be put to bed an hour before sunset. So I shall go home now, whether you give me leave or not."

"Then I'll give you leave--if that's the case," said Major Monkey. "I can't have anybody disobeying orders; so I'll give you leave. And I'll dismiss the army until to-morrow.... The last man over the fence will be shot at sunrise," he added. It seemed as if he was determined to shoot somebody, anyhow.

Well, everyone turned and ran like the wind. Naturally, n.o.body wanted to be last, after what Major Monkey had said.

It looked, for a few moments, as if the whole army was going to cross the fence at the same instant. But Billy Woodchuck was so unlucky as to step into a hole. He fell head over heels. And by the time he had picked himself up and reached the fence all the rest were safe on the other side of it.

Things looked very dark for Billy Woodchuck--especially when Major Monkey grinned horribly at him between the rails and said:

"Too bad, my boy! But this is war, you know.... Please don't forget the time! To-morrow, at sunrise!"

Billy Woodchuck's heart sank. He wished he had never joined the army.

And then an idea came to him. It was such a simple one that it is a wonder he hadn't thought of it instantly. Instead of going _over_ the fence, to everybody's surprise he squirmed _under_ it. And everybody was vastly relieved. Even Major Monkey appeared to be delighted.

"I'm afraid"--he said with a smile--"I'm afraid we'll have to shoot the rest of the army at sunrise, for they went over the fence last."

But Mr. Crow spoke up and said: "Nonsense! The rest of us went over _first_!"

Major Monkey had to admit that that was true. And he showed plainly that he was disappointed. Although he did not look the least bit cruel, it was clear that he had looked forward to shooting--and the more the merrier.

"It's really a great pity," he said, "that we can't have a shot at somebody."

XIII

The Major Hesitates

Major Monkey's army soon became known far and wide. Its fame reached beyond Pleasant Valley, to the other side of Blue Mountain. And a good many persons who had been in the habit of making excursions into the valley now and then began to think that it was a good place to avoid.

Old Mr. Crow had a good deal to do with spreading the news. He took several long trips, just to tell people that the army was ready--and eager--to fight all strangers.

In fact, the Major said he wished Mr. Crow would mind his own affairs.

For how was the army ever going to fight, if all the enemies kept out of its way?

All the generals began to tell one another that Major Monkey was a very brave soldier. And certainly he _said_ nothing to change their opinion of him. He was always telling how much he liked to fight, and complaining that he was only wasting his valuable time in Pleasant Valley.

In a way the Major was right. And probably there never would have been the least trouble if Johnnie Green and his friends hadn't happened to have a picnic in the woods on the same day and in the same spot that the Major had chosen to call his generals together.

[Ill.u.s.tration: "You're a Sneak-Thief!" Jasper Jay said.]

Of course, the Major couldn't drill his soldiers with Johnnie Green and a half-dozen other boys on hand to watch. So the generals lurked behind trees and wished that the picnickers would go away.

Meanwhile Major Monkey himself sulked in the tree-tops, hidden high up among the leafy branches, where n.o.body would be likely to spy him. He watched the boys while they ate their luncheon, which they devoured as soon as they reached the picnic grove. And then he looked on while they played games--hide-and-seek, and duck-on-the-rock, and follow-my-leader, and ever so many others.

Now and then old Mr. Crow flew up and tried to talk with Major Monkey.

But the Major had very little to say. And at last Mr. Crow lost all patience with him.

"Are you going to sit here all day and do nothing?" Mr. Crow demanded.

"S-s.h.!.+" Major Monkey said. "Do be quiet! Do you want them to hear you?"

"I don't care if they hear me," Mr. Crow cried. "It's plain to me that these boys will stay here all day if they're not driven away."

"No doubt!" Major Monkey agreed, as he plucked a tender shoot off the tree and ate it. "But what can we do?"

"Do!" said Mr. Crow. "What's the army for--I'd like to know--if not to fight?"

Major Monkey's wrinkled face seemed somewhat pale.

"Quite true!" he agreed again. "But I'm not sure we're strong enough to do anything against these ruffians down below. I'm not sure that I can depend on the army in a pinch."

To the Major's great alarm, Mr. Crow squalled with rage.

"You've insulted me!" he shrieked. And he made such a commotion that Major Monkey scampered off, beckoning to Mr. Crow to follow him.

Just as they left, a stone came cras.h.i.+ng through the leaves, thrown by some boy who had noticed Mr. Crow's hoa.r.s.e cries.

And that made Major Monkey run all the faster.