Punch 1893.07.29 Part 1

Punch 1893.07.29.

by Various.

MUSCULAR EDUCATION.

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Mr. PUNCH has much pleasure in recommending the following Prospectus to the notice of parents desirous of finding a thoroughly practical school where boys are educated according to the real requirements of modern life.

CLOANTHUS HOUSE, MARKET DREPANUM, OXON.

Mr. J. PEN-RULLOX, M.A. Cambs., and the Rev. WILFRID BAILS, B.A.

Oxon, receive pupils to prepare for the great public schools and universities.

The well-known qualifications of Mr. PEN-RULLOX, who rowed stroke in his university boat in the celebrated race at Amwell in 1878, and of the Rev. Mr. BAILS, who played for Oxford in the famous university match in the Common Fields in 1882, will be sufficient guarantee that the boys will be thoroughly well instructed.

Besides Rowing, Cricket, and Football; Swimming, Racquets, Boxing, and Hockey, are specially attended to by competent a.s.sistant-Masters, under the personal supervision of the Princ.i.p.als.

Billiards, Lawn-tennis, Poker, Nurr and Spell, and some other minor games, now too frequently neglected in the education of youth, will find their due place in the curriculum of Cloanthus House.

It is in contemplation, should a sufficient number of boys show a marked inclination for such studies, to engage a Board-school Master, of approved competence, to direct literary and scientific work.

Terms, inclusive, 250 per annum, payable in advance: the only extras at present being Reading, Writing, Polo, and Arithmetic.

Reference is kindly permitted to the following:--The Right Rev. the Bishop of ISTHMIA; the Editor of the _Sporting Life_; the Rev. R.

E. D. HORGAN, M.A., Jesurum Col., Cambs; the Sports Editor of the _Field_; the Warden of Mortlake College, Putney; Dr. S. A. GRACE, LL.D.; the Hon. and Rev. HURLINGHAM PEEL.

THE BITTER CRY OF THE BROKEN-VOICED CHORISTER.

(_A long way after Tennyson._)

Break, break, break, O voice on that clear top C!

And I would that my throat could utter High notes as they used to be.

O well for old BUNDLECOOP'S boy That he still shouts his full round A!

O well for that tow-headed lad That he sings in his old clear way.

And the anthems still go on With boy-trebles sharp and shrill; But O for _my_ "compa.s.s," so high and grand, And the voice that I _used_ to trill!

Break, break, break, Like a creaky old gate, top C!

But the high treble notes of a voice that is cracked, Will never come back to me!

QUEER QUERIES.

THE WHITE CURRENCY QUESTION.--Can nothing be done to prevent the Indian VICEROY from carrying out his monstrous proposal about the Rupee? I was just off to Bombay (having recently completed a period of enforced seclusion in Devons.h.i.+re, occasioned by a too successful compet.i.tion with a monopolist Mint) on the strength of a newspaper paragraph that "Free Coining of Silver" was permitted in that happy land. Free Coining! In my opinion it beats "Free Education" hollow, and is just what I have always wanted. I felt that my fortune was made, when suddenly the news comes that the free coinage business is stopped. What an injustice! In the name of the down-trodden Hindoo, to whom my specially manufactured nickel-and-tin Rupee would have been quite a new revelation, I protest against this interference with the immemorial customs of our Oriental fellow-subjects.--JEREMIAH D'IDDLA.

CONTRIBUTED BY OUR OWN WELSH-HARPER'S MAGAZINE.--With the AP MORGANS, AP RHYS, AP JONES, and many others, Wales is the ideal "'Appy Land."

SEASONABLE.

(_By a future Lord Chancellor._)

The close of the season, the close of the season, It leaves a man rifled of rhino and reason; And now, with hot rain and a westerly breeze on, I don't opine racketing London agrees on The whole with Society. "_Kyrie Eleison_"

I'll chaunt when I stand with my wife and my wee son Some windy "Parade" or exuberant "Lees" on, In the splash of the salt and the flash of the free sun, And am garbed in a fas.h.i.+on that, sure, would be treason To Bond Street; and ruminate, sprawling at ease on The sands with their bands and extempore sprees on.-- "Table d'Hote-ards," repair to your Homburgs or freeze on Cosmopolitan Alps, and eat kickshaws to tease one; But _me_ let the n.i.g.g.e.rs marine and the sea's un- Translateable sing-song, and bathers with d----s on, Delight, and bare children, their noses and knees on, Till quite I forget Messrs. WELBY AND MEESON (Those despots of law) and my failures, and fees un- Liquidated as yet, and myself--and the season!

AT COVENT GARDEN LAST THURSDAY.

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Production of new Opera, _Amy Robsart_, arranged (and very well arranged, too) from Sir WALTER SCOTT'S novel, by Sir AUGUSTUS HARRIS and PAUL MILLIET, the English adaptation by FREDERIC WEATHERLY, and music by ISIDORE DE LARA. CALVe in the t.i.tle _role_, splendid; going through everything--three rather lengthy Acts, two impa.s.sioned love-duets, and the trap-door in the bridge--with unflagging spirit and charm.

In the Second Act, Kenilworth shown illuminated for the reception of _Elizabeth_--_Leicester_ having evidently borrowed one of the band kiosks from Earl's Court. _Elizabeth_, according to stage directions, should have entered "seated upon a magnificent white horse," but preferred to walk in. Possibly her steed detained by business engagements. As represented by Madame ARMAND, an easy-going, sunny-tempered sovereign, with an amiable dislike of any "unpleasantness" among her courtiers. The _Earl of Suss.e.x_ the most impressive mute (next to his contemporary the _Earl of Burleigh_ in _The Critic_) on the boards,--nothing to do but look haughty, and at last, at the Queen's command, consent to become reconciled to _Leicester_,--but the subtle suggestion in his "shake-hands" that he did so on compulsion, and reserved himself the right of punching _Leicester's_ head at the first convenient opportunity, very artistically conveyed. Part most carefully thought out. The Revels cut short by the inconsiderate appearance of _Amy Robsart_ when they were just beginning, which must have been annoying for the Lady of the Lake, who had just arrived to pay homage to the Queen, and found herself obliged to get upon her floating island again, and go home in the most ignominious manner, without waiting even for the "shower of stars," which were to have fallen over the water. _Elizabeth_, however, seemed quite unruffled by the interruption, perhaps thinking that anything was a relief which put an end to the revels. _Finale_ to this Act dramatic, and well worked up. Third Act in two short _tableaux_, concluding with a duel and explanation (in two lines) between _Leicester_ and _Tressilian_, after which the opera ends abruptly with _Varney's_ highly ungentlemanly practical joke upon poor _Amy Robsart_, and _Leicester's_ request to _Tressilian_ to take his sword and run him through--which, however, he had no time to grant, as the curtain fell at that moment. After that, well-deserved floral tributes to Madame CALVe, and enthusiastic calls for singers, composer, manager, and carriages.

"FOLLOW ON!"

(_A Cricketer's "Catch."_ AIR--"_Come Follow!_")

_First Voice._ Come follow, follow, follow, follow, follow, follow on!

_Second Voice._ Why then should I follow, follow, follow, why then must I follow, follow on?

_Third Voice._ When you're Eighty runs or more behind our score you follow on!

ACCOMMODATING.

_G. O. M._ (_to Radical Member_). My dear Sir, will _you_ vote for this clause?

_Rad. Mem._ I will, Sir. What is it?

[Ill.u.s.tration: "TOO KIND BY HALF."