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"What sort of a tiffin did you have?" he asked with rough kindliness.
"Oh, I don't know. Nothing much."
"I thought so. Eat a good dinner, man. Starvation's no use to any one, and I don't want to have you back on my hands."
With that he departed, and Wyndham had just decided on filling another pipe, since some pretence at occupation was imperative, when Meredith entered unannounced.
A glance at his face showed Paul that he knew, and believed the worst; and for a moment they confronted one another in mute dismay. The Englishman's inability to put his heart into words has its pathetic aspect at times. These two men were linked by years of mutual work, and immediate mutual pain: yet Wyndham merely laid down his pipe and asked; "Have you seen Mackay?"
"Yes. Met him on my way here. I'm going in to her at once."
And Paul, picking up the discarded pipe, looked after him with envy and hunger in his eyes.
Meredith knocked at the bedroom door.
"Who's there?" Desmond's voice came sharp as a challenge.
"John."
"Come in, then."
And he went in.
The room was large, lofty, and very simply furnished. With the leisurely swaying of the punkah, light and shadow flitted across the wide, low bed, on one side of which Honor lay, warmly covered with blankets, her breath coming in laboured gasps. Desmond knelt by her; and, on Meredith's entrance, set down the feeding-cup, but because her hand was on his coat-sleeve, he did not change his position, or rise from his knees. She held out the other to Meredith, But it fell limply before he could reach her.
"John . . dear," she greeted him in a husky whisper. "I'm so glad.
Sit near me . . here."
He obeyed, seating himself on the unoccupied part of the bed; and taking up her hand, cherished it between both his own. It was cold and clammy, the finger-tips wrinkled like a washerwoman's, and at sight of her face his self-control deserted him, so that he dared not risk speech. For cholera does its work swiftly and efficaciously, and in eight hours Honor Desmond's beauty had been ruthlessly wiped out. In the grey, pinched features and sunken eyes--already dimmed by a creeping film that blurred the two faces she so loved--it was hard to trace any likeness to the radiant woman of twenty-four hours ago. Only the burnished bronze of her hair, encircling her head in a large loose plait, remained untouched by the finger of death.
When Meredith could command his voice, he spoke quietly and cheerfully of the day's work, and of the certainty that she would pull through.
Then the hand in his stirred uneasily.
"What is it, dear?" he asked.
"John, I want you to remember,"--the voice was still husky, and she spoke with difficulty--"whatever happens, . . and tell father, please . . it wasn't Theo's fault. It was mine."
The hand on her husband's coat-sleeve felt its way up uncertainly, till it rested in a lingering caress on the dark bowed head. For Desmond, leaning on his elbow, had covered his eyes with one hand.
Meredith frowned.
"Dearest girl, it was no one's fault. Besides, you are going to get well. But talking is a strain on you now, I'll look in later."
He stooped and kissed her forehead.
"Good-bye," she whispered.
"No, not good-bye," he contradicted her steadily. "I shall see you again after mess."
She sighed, and her lids fell. The terrible apathy of cholera was crus.h.i.+ng the soldier spirit out of her by inches.
"G.o.d! I don't believe she heard me," he murmured in sudden despair.
At that Desmond uncovered his eyes. "She heard you, right enough," he said quietly, "Trust me not to let her go."
And Meredith went reluctantly out, leaving man and wife alone with the Shadowy Third; the only third that could ever come between them.
Honor's hand slipped down from his head to his shoulder, and she opened her eyes; the soul in them struggling to pierce the mists that deepened every minute.
"Darling," she breathed. "Come closer . . much closer. I wish . . I wish you didn't seem all blurred."
He bent nearer, looking steadfastly into her altered face.
"That better, dear?" he asked, controlling his voice with an effort.
"Yes. A little. Whatever John may say, it was my fault," she persisted, for in spite of pain and prostration, the mists had not clouded her brain. "It was selfish of me to insist. See . . what I've made you suffer. But you don't . . blame me, do you, . . in your heart?"
"Blame you, . . my best beloved? How can you ask it? I . . I wors.h.i.+p you," he added very low.
The extravagant word, reviving dear and imperishable memories, called up a quivering smile, more heart-piercing than a cry: and Desmond, putting a great restraint upon himself, enfolded her with one arm, and kissed her softly, lingeringly, as one might kiss a child.
"My very Theo," she murmured, her voice breaking with love. "It has been so perfect . . I suppose that's why . . Not three years yet; and . . I can't bear . . to leave you behind, even for a little."
"You'll not do that, Honor," his voice had the level note of decision.
"If _you_ go, . . . I go too."
"No, no. You must wait . . for your boy."
Desmond set his teeth, and answered nothing. In the stress of anguish he had forgotten his child.
Suddenly a convulsive shuddering ran through her, and her breath came short and quick.
"Theo, . . what's happening?" she panted. "Where are you? Hold me.
Everything's . . slipping away."
It cut him to the heart to unclasp the fingers that clung to him; though he was back again in a moment, holding weak brandy and water to her lips.
"Drink it, Honor. For G.o.d's sake, drink it!" he commanded, a ring of fear in his voice. For in that moment, a change, terrible and significant, had come over her. His appeal produced no response, no movement of lips or eyelids. Her face seemed to shrink and sharpen, and change colour before his eyes. Her breath was cold as the air from a cave.
He set down the wine-gla.s.s, and in the first shock and horror of it all stood like a man turned to stone. Then common-sense p.r.i.c.ked him back to life, and to the necessity for immediate action. After so sharp an attack, collapse would probably be severe and prolonged. He laid his fingers on her pulse. It was rapid, and barely perceptible, but the still small flutter of life was there.
He opened the verandah door, where Amar Singh and a very aggrieved Aberdeen terrier had sat since morning, and issued a swift order for hot water, mustard, warm turpentine; a grim repet.i.tion of the battle he had fought out a week ago. But now he fought single-handed, while Amar Singh and a small tremulous ayah, crouching beside a charcoal brazier in the verandah, kept up a steady supply of his primitive needs.
Thus James Mackay found him on his return; still doggedly applying friction and restoratives without having made an inch of progress for his pains. Darkness had fallen by now, and the one lamp, set well away from the bed, made a pallid oasis in its own vicinity. Desmond had flung aside his coat, and his thin s.h.i.+rt clung in patches to his damp body. His face was set in rigid lines; and the little doctor, who carried a heart of flesh under a porcupine exterior, was haunted for days by the despair in his eyes.
"How long have you been at it, man?" he asked without preamble.
"A lifetime, I should say. Possibly an hour."