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"Yes, worse luck. But I fancy I shall square him. At the same time--it's hard lines----"
He broke off short. The thing did not bear speaking of.
"It _is_ bitterly hard lines, for you both," Honor answered, looking away from him. But she knew the best men of her service too well to suggest that, without straining a point, he might honestly be declared unfit for duty.
"At least it will be a comfort to her having _you_ here," he went on mechanically, because the thing had to be said somehow. "I'll leave a note, of course, but I'd be grateful if you'd take it for me some time in the morning. She may not understand how impossible it is for a man to hold back--on any pretext, at a time like this, and I know I can trust _you_ to make things clear to her. You're more than half a soldier yourself."
"So I ought to be!" Honor answered, inexpressibly touched by his confidence in her. "And of course I would go to her if I were here.
But to-morrow I shall be on my way back to Dera with you both."
"Dera!--But that would be madness. Do you suppose Desmond would ever hear of such a thing?"
"I haven't supposed anything about it yet," she answered, smiling. "I only know that I can't let him go down into--all that, alone. Now I must say good-night, and go to him. We'll make all arrangements for the journey," she added, as they shook hands, "and Zyarulla will do the packing for you. So be sure and get some sleep when you have seen Dr O'Malley."
His face hardened.
"I only know one way to make sure of that," he said, avoiding her eyes.
"Oh, no, no; not that way, please."
"I imagine it'll be that or none," he answered almost roughly, as he turned away, and with a sigh Honor followed her husband into the dining-room.
He sat with his back to her, elbows planted on the writing-table, his head between his hands. But at her approach he looked up, and with a sharp contraction of heart she saw that tears stood in his eyes. A woman takes small account of her own wet lashes, but a man's tears are like drops of blood wrung from the heart.
Honor took his head between her hands, and kissed him, long and tremulously. After that there seemed no need for words on the subject nearest their hearts.
"You knew why I didn't come sooner?" was all she said, and Desmond pressed the hand resting on his shoulder. Then, seating herself opposite him on the edge of the table, she glanced at the telegraph form lying before him.
"Are you wiring for more news?"
"Yes. I want an 'urgent,' care of the Station-master, to catch me at Lah.o.r.e to-morrow night, and another at Thung dak bungalow next day; unless . . . of course . . ."
"Hush, hush. You _must_ not think of that."
He frowned, and was silent. The two men loved one another as men linked by half a lifetime of toil and ambition learn to love,--or hate; and in the face of a calamity so unthinkable, even Desmond's incurable hopefulness was shaken.
"Captain Lenox believes he will be allowed to go," Honor went on after a pause. "But he's hardly fit for it, is he?"
"Not quite, perhaps, though he's made of iron under it all, and if he's set on going, I don't fancy O'Malley will stand in his way."
"I told him we would make all travelling arrangements, and you'll be sending Dunni out with this, I suppose?"
"Yes. At once. Why?"
"Because I want him to take a note to Mrs Rivers at the same time."
"Mrs Rivers? Would you sooner go to her than stay on here?"
Honor smiled.
"Do you really imagine I shall stay on here?"
"Why not? It would save the trouble of moving; and you wouldn't feel lonely with the little chap for company."
"But, you dear, foolish man, can't you see that it's you I want?" And she leaned forward, speaking quickly to stave off interruption. "Don't make a fuss about it, please; because I have settled everything in my mind. I'll ask Mrs Rivers to take baby and Parb.u.t.ti for me. I know she gladly will. As for me, of course I go down to Dera to-morrow, and do what I can for you all."
At that Desmond straightened himself; and Honor foresaw one of those pitched battles, which, between natures equally imperious and hot-headed, were unavoidable from time to time; while Desmond, because he meant to have his own way, dared not let her see how profoundly he was moved by this culminating proof of her devotion.
"My dear Honor, the thing is out of the question," he said decisively.
"It's splendid of you even to think of coming down. But it would be unpardonable in me to allow it, so be a sensible woman and put the notion out of your head, once for all. You know you could never bear to leave little Paul when it came to the point."
"I could . . . I could. Oh, Theo, don't be unreasonable over this."
"The unreasonableness is yours, my dear. If this is going to be bad, we may all be off into camp before the week's out."
"Well, then, Frank would take me in . . . and at least I should be on the spot--in case . . . Oh, Theo, I _must_ come! Why on earth shouldn't I be there just as much as Frank, and that little missionary woman, Mrs Peters?"
"Frank" Olliver, a Major's wife, was the only other woman in the regiment, and hill stations were not (as she would have expressed it) "in her line." But Desmond was immovable.
"That's quite another matter. Being there already, they naturally wouldn't desert their post. But you are here, thank G.o.d, safe out of it all; and I must insist on your remaining here, if it's only for my sake." A half smile dispelled the gravity of his face. "I've a notion that when you married me you promised, among other things, to obey me!"
"Well, I was driven to. It was the only way to get you. But I'm sure most of us make that promise with mental reservations. In certain cases I should not dream of obeying you, Theo, and this is one!"
"But if I flatly refuse to take you with me?"
"I suppose I should have to follow on alone."
He looked at her straightly for a moment. Then: "I don't think you would deliberately defy me, Honor," he said in a level tone. "I couldn't put up with that, even from you."
There was a short silence. She saw that in direct opposition to his will she could go no further. But the woman who loves, and knows herself beloved, has subtler weapons at command. Setting her two hands upon his shoulders, and bringing her beautiful face very close to his, Honor returned her husband's look with a smile so mutely beseeching, that his fort.i.tude, already undermined by the news from Dera, began to waver, and she saw it.
"My very dearest," she said, on a low note of tenderness, "of course I would never defy you. But don't break my heart by pus.h.i.+ng me on one side, and leaving me up here alone, idle, anxious, when there is real work--woman's work--waiting to be done down there. I'm as strong as a church, you know that. And I could help with Paul when he is convalescent. We could have him in the bungalow. I know separation is bound to come some day. But not in this terrible fas.h.i.+on, and not yet.
_Please_, Theo, not yet."
Then, because tears threatened, she leaned down till her forehead rested against his shoulder, and furtively dried her lashes with the back of her hand. When a strong woman lays aside her strength, and relies on the inherent power of her womanhood, no man on earth is a match for her. Desmond could only surrender at discretion, and take her altogether to himself.
"And you began by saying you would never defy me!" he whispered into her ear. "What else do you call this, I wonder? You incurable woman!
Is it really because you are so keen to help, or chiefly because you want to be in my pocket? Which?"
"Chiefly because I want to be in your pocket," she answered without shame, and he kissed her bowed head.
"But mind you," his tone changed abruptly, "I have no business to give in to you; and if any harm should come of it, I could never forgive myself. I believe I should blow my brains out on the spot."
At that she lifted her head and stood up beside him.
"Theo, you _shall_ not say such dreadful things."
"It's no more than the truth," he answered, with a touch of defiance.
"Lord, how you women, and the children you give us, complicate life for a man! Yet it's not worth a bra.s.s farthing without you both."