Ted Strong's Motor Car Part 39

"Oh, mercy!" retorted Bud. "Does my music annoy you?"

"It certainly does," snapped Ben.

"Then why don't yer move away?"

"Bah! You're an old goat."

"Thanks fer ther compliment, although yer don't mean it thet away. But when yer likens me ter a goat yer do me proud. If yer were more goatlike yerself ye'd be a heap more wiser."

"I'm glad you like it. The pleasure's all yours. But if a fellow called me a goat, I know what I'd do."

"Maybe, perhaps. But yer needn't be afraid that any one will liken yer ter a goat. Any self-respectin' goat would get sore at it. If I wuz ter pick out yer counterpart in ther animile world, I'd say yer most resembled the phillaloo?"

"What's a phillaloo?"

"A phillaloo is a cross between a penguin and a ja.s.sack."

"Say, you long-haired lobster!" cried Ben, leaping to his feet, apparently in great anger, "don't you call me anything like that."

"Well, didn't yer jest call me a goat?"

"Yes, but--"

"Then sit down an' git back ter yer love story; we're square. Nothin' is lost on both sides. But callin' me a goat don't make me sore none. I jest dote on goats. If I wasn't jest what I am, I'd sooner be a goat than a collidge gradooate."

"I've heard about enough, if you're alluding to me."

"Take it er leave it. But, ez I wuz goin' ter say before my conversation was cut inter by a loud an' empty noise, speakin' o' goats reminds me o'

a time down on ther Pecos--"

"By Jove! I'm going to ask the conductor to move me into another car.

This is too much. I might, perhaps, stand for being called a phillaloo, but I swear I'll not be compelled to stay here and listen to one of those silly and impossible stories of this insane cow-puncher."

At first some of the pa.s.sengers thought that Bud and Ben were really angry at one another, but the wise ones soon saw that it was all bluff, as, of course, the broncho boys knew.

But it was very real to d.i.c.k Fosd.i.c.k, who had yet many things to learn about the boys and their ways, and while the little chap was far too clever naturally to show his feelings, he sided with Bud, and thought that Ben was very unreasonable, especially as the boys, and some of the pa.s.sengers, had flocked around Bud, who appeared not to notice them.

"I reckon, d.i.c.k, you'd like ter hear thet thar story erbout the time I lied down on ther Pecos in the summer o'--"

"Conductor," said Ben, detaining that official as he was pa.s.sing through the car, "is there no way of stopping the noise this person is making? I cannot take my nap on account of his chatter."

Several persons who were not in the secret were for interfering in behalf of Bud and his story, which they wanted to hear, but were headed off by the conductor, who said:

"Sorry, but I cannot interfere with the gentleman. He does not seem to be annoying the other pa.s.sengers. If you wish to take a nap you are at liberty to go up ahead in the smoking car."

At this Bud began to gloat.

"I hear they've put a cattle car up next ter ther injine fer sech sensitive people like you. Yer might enj'y a leetle siesta on ther straw."

Ben sank back into his seat, and began to snore gently.

"What about the story down on the Pecos, Bud?" said d.i.c.k.

"You'd like to hear it, eh? Then I'll tell it to you. Of course, the other folks may listen to it, but it is understood betwixt me an' you thet it's all yours, an' whatever goes inter their ears is jest ther leavin's. Is that a go?"

The boy nodded eagerly, even though he didn't understand the drift of Bud's remarks.

"What's the story about?" asked the boy.

"The goat, my boy. Perhaps you don't know it, but the goat is one of the n.o.blest animals what walks. He is also one o' ther smartest, an' in former years used ter be able ter talk, but ez soon ez he got ter be so popular in secret societies ther gift o' speech was withdrawed from him, so thet he wouldn't be able ter give erway ther secret things what he saw an' heard at ther meetin's."

"But, Bud, are they really smart?" asked d.i.c.k.

"Smart ain't no name fer it. All yer got ter do to find out if they're smart is ter look at their whiskers. The smartest o' all animiles is man, an' don't he wear whiskers? An' I want ter ast yer what other animile hez whiskers exceptin' ther goat. Ther goat knew what he was about when he begin ter raise whiskers. He says ter hisself--"

"What bos.h.!.+" exclaimed Ben, snorting in his sleep.

"Aire you addressin' yer remarks ter me?" asked Bud, looking over the back of the seat at Bud. But the only answer was a gentle snore.

"What did he say?" asked d.i.c.k eagerly.

"'Why,' says he, 'if they won't let me talk they can't keep me from bein' ez near a man ez I kin go; by gravy, I'll raise whiskers like Deacon Smith,' who was a member o' ther lodge in which ther goat officiated; and, by jinks, he did, an' ther fas.h.i.+on wuz follered, an'

they wear them ter this day.

"There ain't no question o' their smartness, an' their prominence. Ain't one o' ther signs o' the zodiac up in ther heavens named after ther goat--Capricornus is ther feller ter what I refer--an' them heathen chaps what wuz half man an' half goat? Didn't they come pretty near bein' ther whole thing?"

"But about the Pecos?" inquired d.i.c.k, who was not partial to preaching, but wanted to get at the heart of the story.

"Oh. yes. I wuz leadin' up ter it gradooal, fer what I'm goin' ter relate--if thet yap will choke off on thet moosical snore--"

"Here, wake up, you're snoring so loud we can't hear ourselves holler,"

said Kit, reaching over and shaking Ben.

"I can't keep awake while that fellow persists in yarning away like a fanning machine. It's so monotonous I can't keep awake," and Ben stretched and yawned.

"Let's get away from here and go to some other part of the car,"

whispered d.i.c.k.

"No, we'll just stay here an' spite him. He'll wake up after a while an'

be glad to listen to ther story. So here goes!

"I was punchin' cow's down on the Pecos one summer fer ther Crazy B Ranch. We had eight punchers in ther bunch, a good chuck wagon, an' easy work, so I wuz pretty well suited, an' thet summer I gained twelve pounds, even if it wuz a hundred an' forty in ther shade, which we hed forgotten ter bring along with us."

"Forgotten to bring what?" asked the boy.

"Our shade. Yer see, down in thet country ther sun is so strong thet every one carries his own shade, fer there isn't a tree in ther whole country big enough ter cast a shadder o' any sort. Out on ther ranches, at certain seasons o' ther year, they serve out shade ter ther men jest ther same ez they do bacon an' saleratus ter ther outfit thet goes out herdin'."

d.i.c.k looked seriously at Bud for a moment, hardly knowing whether or not to doubt him, but Bud's face was as grave as a deacon's.