Despair's Last Journey - LightNovelsOnl.com
You're reading novel online at LightNovelsOnl.com. Please use the follow button to get notifications about your favorite novels and its latest chapters so you can come back anytime and won't miss anything.
'Ant now,' continued Darco, refusing to be mollified all at once, 'you haf wasted months of valuable dime, ant you ant I are both the poorer by hundrets ant hundrets of pounts. I will haf your bromise, your sacred wort of honour, before I will gollaborate again, that you will no more blay with me these farces. I like you, yourself, Armstrong. I am very font of you. I haf a very creat atmiration for your worg. But you haf not been reliaple. You haf no right to resent what I am sayink.'
'I have some excuses, of which I can't talk,' said Paul; 'but I don't resent what you are saying. I am very sorry to have kept you waiting. I promise you that you shall have all my time and all my best energies for this one spell of work in any case. After that----'
'Veil,' said Darco, 'afder that?
'Heaven knows!' Paul answered. 'Don't say any more just now, Darco. Let us go to work.'
Darco looked at him for a second or two, and began then to stump about the room.
'Goot! he said suddenly; 'let us go to work.'
To work they went. Whatever else might be said for Darco, it was at least impossible to brood in his society. The man's tireless enthusiasm did one of two things for everybody with whom he encountered. It repelled either through terror or distaste, or it inspired a sentiment which corresponded with itself. He frightened timid people; he made the pugnacious angry and resentful. But here and there he kindled a fire.
Paul's love for work had gone to sleep very soundly, but Darco's storming awoke it, and in a day or two the new remedy had got hold of him, and he came back to a moderately healthy state of mind. He wrote to Gertrude, and she responded, and a peace was patched between them, but it was not easy on either side to climb back to the old existence of confidence, and Paul at least was shaken in allegiance. Nor was this all, for he had begun to have some apprehension of his own character, and to take soundings of those emotional shallows which had always seemed to him so profound. When a man has once learned to distrust his own raptures they do not rise easily.
He took up his quarters with Darco, and they worked all day together, and, on occasion, far into the night, for they were entered on a race against time, and an extended run of the piece which then held the stage at Darco's theatre meant loss. Act by act was put in rehearsal as it left the writers' hands, and the final scenes were written in the theatre itself, and the parts copied in one of the dressing-rooms. For the last fortnight of the work there was time to think of nothing else, and when the very tag was written there was labour enough left to satisfy even Darco.
No better medicine for Paul's malady could have been prescribed than he found in this ceaseless mental occupation. It shook him out of his useless moonings, and brought his mind back to its old healthy elasticity, and when at last the decisive night came, and the play went with a roar from start to finish, he went to bed to sleep the clock round, and awoke to triumph.
Out of an idea which had cropped up in the course of work, and had been abandoned as being too heavy to be employed as a mere episode, the indefatigable Darco had already constructed a new plot, and was fain to begin at once upon its development. But Paul insisted upon at least a fortnight's holiday, and carried his point. There was no further fear of financial embarra.s.sment for many months to come. Annette's liabilities were paid. A lawyer was engaged to make settled arrangements with her, and for awhile there was a clear prospect and free air to breathe. Then came the new work, carried on at a less fiery pressure than the old, but yet pursued with diligence. It lasted six months, and was not likely to be in demand for another half-year. Gertrude was back in Paris, and thither went Paul, prepared to study the platonic theory in a more philosophical spirit than he had hitherto displayed. She was charming.
She could not easily cease to be charm ing, but she maddened no longer, and if she had had a heart at all, her lover's extreme placidity might have piqued her into love. It could not do that, but it served to introduce upon the scene an episode of some humour.
Madame la Baronne de Wyeth could not exist without an adorer. It was an agreeable thing enough to have two at a time, and would have been agreeable to have had a dozen had the creatures been manageable. Mr.
Ricardo P. Janes, of Boston, Ma.s.sachusetts, was a young man of excellent family connections, and in enjoyment of liberal means. He was a very handsome boy of four- or five-and-twenty, and having a taste for art and the Muses in general, he was studying in the atelier of a famous French painter. He took life seriously, and wrote nice verses. He was simple and enthusiastic, pure-minded and romantic, and altogether eligible as a candidate for a place in the list of Gertrude's soulful friends.
When Paul reached Paris he had an immediate introduction to this young gentleman, and conceived a real liking for him. There was hardly an escape from the recognition of the fact that Mr. Janes, in his serious, romantic way, was in love with Gertrude, but it was evident that he had been held well in hand, and that with him the platonic path had strict barriers, beyond which he did not even aspire to pa.s.s. He made Paul his confidant when the two came to intimacy, as they very easily did; and from his simple talk the elder learned again a great deal of what he had learned already from Gertrude--how, for instance, there was a certain isolation of the soul from which it was impossible to escape even in the closest and most genuine friends.h.i.+p, and how the Individual was never truly apprehended by any other Individual, but was doomed to go its way in eternal solitude towards its goal. Mr. Janes, despite his romanticisms and enthusiasms, was in the main a sensible young man, and he would not have said these things had he known or guessed that their ground of inspiration would be recognised by his companion. But Gertrude's ideas had seemed to him--they would appear to have seemed so to many for a time--to hold a most true and beautiful though sad philosophy, and he was of that time of life when such thoughts are full of serious interest and charm. Had Mr. Janes appeared nine months earlier under the same conditions, Paul would probably have conceived a fiery hatred for him, but now he felt a kind of superiority to him, which was in part cynical, and in part affectionate, and in part self-disdainful. He had gone thrilling at all this for years on end, because it came from the lips of a pretty and engaging woman, with whom it was no more than a canting s.h.i.+bboleth. Of course it helped to disillusionize him, and he began even to see that Gertrude was not as beautiful as he had once believed her to be. This is almost a fatal symptom in the history of love's decay, unless the perception be attended, as it is in happy cases, by the perception of new beauties whose presence more than atones for the absence of the old. And Paul did not find new beauties. Gertrude was simply a pretty woman now, and a pretty woman is a very different creature from an angel whose effulgence so dazzles that it blinds the eyes. It was pleasant enough to philander with her, to touch the skirts of topics which had once been dangerous, but were dangerous no longer, but the glamour was gone, and young Mr.
Janes had done as much to banish it in a single fortnight as Ralston and the bibulous explorer and the nine months of diligent labour all put together.
It happened that the Baroness herself planned a little pleasure trip, which resulted in the closing of this chapter of Paul Armstrong's life.
It placed him incidentally in a position of extreme awkwardness, and he was never able to decide whether he had acted well or ill in it. The point may be reckoned a fine one.
Gertrude had made accidental acquaintance with a charming old house in the neighbourhood of Fontainebleau, a country chateau of the old-world sort, which was for sale, with all its furniture, its plate and its pictures, and a rather exceptionally good library. Failing a sale, it was provisionally for hire, and she, having, always, practically unlimited funds at her disposal, was inclined to take it and to spend some half-year in retirement, within easy reach of the capital and her friends, whilst she added the last touches to a volume of poems on which she had been engaged from time to time for some three or four years past She was in negotiation for the place, and just by way of experiment she had thought it a charming idea to give a little--a very little--house-party there. There were to be only five people--Gertrude's own Knickerbocker sheepdog, then one Comtesse de Ca.s.sault, Gertrude herself, and Mr. Janes and Paul. The servants of the departed family were available for a day; a chef and one or two kitchen a.s.sistants might be sent down from Paris. The party would a.s.semble in time for luncheon, would spend the afternoon in a country excursion, would return to dinner, and so Pariswards by a special train. It was a pretty programme, and would cost M. le Baron de Wyeth a pretty penny, but the last consideration was Gertrude's affair alone. The Comtesse de Ca.s.sault was a beautiful person, a flirt of the demurest kind. The Knickerbocker was virtually n.o.body. In effect it was a _partie carree_ and bade fair to be enjoyable.
It was the very loveliest of October days, and Paul began his adventures by a little accident to the voiture which should have borne him to the station. It was no very great matter, but he found himself entangled with the horses of an omnibus, and though he escaped personal injury, apart from an inconsiderable bruise or two, he had to make an awkward jump for safety, and, falling, split the knees of his trousers, and plastered his s.h.i.+rt-cuffs with the mud which an overnight shower had left behind. This petty disaster involved a return home, and the loss of his train. He despatched a wire and made inquiries. The quickest way of arriving at his destination appeared to be to book by train to a point some ten miles from it, and then to secure a conveyance of some sort to get the rest of the distance. He was turned out at a lonely rural station with no vehicle for hire within miles. Very good, he would make the best of a small misfortune, and would walk. He got directed by a stupid peasant, and set off in the wrong direction. When he had walked some two miles out of his way, he made further inquiries and retraced his steps. The roads were a little heavy, the sun was hot, and Paul of late had taken but little physical exercise. When, after three hours hard walking, he reached the retired chateau which was the scene of the day's festivity, luncheon had been over two hours before, and Gertrude and her party were away for a drive. But Mr. Armstrong was expected and was welcomed, and when he had a little repaired the ravages the journey had made upon his aspect, he was provided with a pleasant little repast and a bottle of excellent Moselle. The room in which he took this meal was on the ground-floor, and was an extension from the original building. It stood a few feet above a sloping lawn, and it had wide French windows on either side of it A balcony travelled round it on three sides, and on that which faced the sun heavy velvet curtains had been drawn. A full light which brought no dazzle with it came in from the windows opposite.
When Paul had finished his meal, which he ate with great relish after the unaccustomed exercise of the day, he explored the balcony, and finding on the sunny side one of those long American cane-chairs which, when furnished with cus.h.i.+ons, offer so agreeable a lounge, he sat down there and smoked a cigar. A while ago the small contretemps which had delayed him would have caused him profound trouble, or, at least, he would have made himself think so; but he took the matter quite easily now, and occupied himself in rehearsing the history he would have to tell on his hostess's return. The day was exquisitely mild, the temperature perfect, now that he was no longer in hasty effort; he had eaten heartily, had half emptied the bottle of excellent Moselle, and he was very tired. Before he had begun to realize fairly the fact that he was drowsy, he had fallen asleep.
When he awoke there were voices in the room he had quitted some two hours before. The sun had gone down behind the trees in the blue distance, and he was just a trifle stiff and chilly. He was barely conscious of these things, when the voice of young Mr. Janes startled him broad awake.
'It is dangerous,' said Mr. Janes; 'it is seriously dangerous.'
'Silly boy!' said Gertrude, in a voice half mocking and half caressing.
'How can an old woman like me be dangerous to the peace of a child like you?'
'It is not dangerous to you, Gertrude,' said Mr. Janes, with a tremor which bespoke him very much in earnest 'I know your purity, and I reverence it. I know that I have done wrong in speaking as I have done, but I could not help it I must go.'
'No, Ricardo,' said Gertrude, 'you must not go. You must only put this foolish fancy by--it is only a foolish fancy--and there will be no need to disturb a friends.h.i.+p which has been so sweet, so valuable, to both of us.'
By this time it occurred suddenly to Paul that he had perhaps heard enough, but he had hitherto been held so entirely by surprise that he had not had time to think that this conversation was not intended for his ears. He arose, and began to creep stealthily away, when he saw that the curtains through which he had pa.s.sed from the room were partly open as he had left them. And whilst he stood irresolute, wondering how he should escape, and trying to devise some means of declaring his presence, the talk went on.
'Oh, d.a.m.n it all!' he said to himself desperately. 'It isn't my fault.
I know that line of country pretty well, and I have been so often introduced to it that I am hardly an intruder on it. I can't get away without being seen, and that will be awkward for everybody. And I can't stay here and listen to this rot.'
But the talk went on, and what with the absurd misery of his own position and the well-known lines the conversation followed, he was fairly aflame with embarra.s.sment and self-disdain. Exactly what this gifted and amiable young a.s.s of a Bostonian was doing, and saying, and thinking, and feeling, he had been doing, saying, thinking, feeling a year ago. And Gertrude was playing with young Mr. Janes exactly as she had played with young Mr. Armstrong. Mr. Janes took a good deal of coaxing--more than Paul had done--but the trained coquette was equal to the task, and she brought him to the climax just as she had brought his predecessor. And there was the one little embrace granted, and there was a rustle of skirts, and the click of a door-latch, and Gertrude's voice said, 'You will stay _now_ Ricardo?' and Ricardo groaned. Then the door was closed, and there was silence. Then Ricardo groaned again, and Paul heard his disordered footsteps as he paced the room. The unwilling listener returned to the cane-chair and stretched himself upon it with great stealth, and feigned sleep in case of contingencies. But after five dreary minutes young Mr. Janes withdrew, and the way of escape was open.
Paul made his way to the drawing-room, and found there the Knickerbocker lady and the demure Countess, with whom he had already a slight but agreeable acquaintance. He had had time to recover his self-possession, and though he wished himself a hundred miles away, he did his best to set the kite of conversation flying. He was making an attempt in his somewhat halting French to tell the story of his delay when Gertrude entered, and he told the tale to her, leaving her to translate it. His narrative was so vivacious that she trilled with laughter at it, and broke in upon it with a rapid paraphrase in French here and there, so that she and the Countess and the historian were all laughing heartily together when Mr. Janes came in with a sombre countenance, and made so funereal an effort to join in the mirth that Paul was fiercely tickled.
And whilst he made a comedy of the morning's accident for her amus.e.m.e.nt, he was thinking all the while, 'You heartless, cruel, dangerous little jade!' and thinking it, too, with a real savagery of hatred. 'How many have you betrayed,' he asked in his heart 'To how many hungers of pa.s.sion deliberately awakened have you offered that heart of stone?'
The Baroness knew him mainly on the sentimental side, but that evening he launched out as a raconteur, and was gay and brilliant. Even Mr.
Janes was awakened to sporadic laughter at the dinner-table, where they sat by preconcerted arrangement without the formality of evening-dress, and fared admirably from the _hors d'oeuvres_ to the coffee--a flawless meal. And dinner being over, they drove away under a n.o.ble moon to the railway-station, and bowled back to Paris.
Paul, still with an air of gaiety, begged Gertrude to accord him ten minutes on the following day.
'I have something to tell you,' he said, 'in which I am sure you will take the warmest interest. May I trespa.s.s on your time for just ten minutes in the morning? I got a curious little bit of intelligence to-day which will carry me, I fancy, to the United States.'
'The United States? cried Gertrude. 'I can send you to the nicest people there. But shall you be long away?'
'I shall be able to tell you that to-morrow,' Paul answered. 'May I?
'Certainly,' she replied graciously. 'Shall we all breakfast together at twelve?'
'I am sorry,' said Paul, 'but for me that is impossible. But if I may see you at a quarter to the hour----'
'Certainly,' she said again.
'Thank you,' he said, and turning away somewhat abruptly, as he thought afterwards, he began to talk to the irresponsive Janes, who sat, as it were, in fog.
'You come with me?' said Paul to the young Bostonian when the terminus was reached, and the final adieux had been said amongst the rest.
'Well, no,' said Mr. Janes. 'I am a little out of sorts for some reason or another, and I think that I'll go home.'
'Well, then,' said Paul, 'I go with you. It's all the same; but I have something to say to you. It won't keep, Janes, and whether you and I like it or no, it has to be spoken.'
'Oh,' said Janes, 'that sounds serious!'
'Come to the Rue Castiglione with me,' Paul answered, 'and I will tell you exactly how serious it is.'
'Very well,' the younger man answered, and Paul having chartered a fiacre, they drove home together.
Arrived at his hotel, Paul ordered, and his guest refused, a whisky-and-soda, and the two sat down at a table in Paul's bedroom.
'Mr. Janes,' he began, 'I hope very sincerely that what am about to say will not wound you--much. It is sure to hurt you a little at first, but it is meant in friends.h.i.+p. Let me begin by telling you that for some three years of my life, more or less, I made an unexampled a.s.s of myself about a certain lady. And now let me confess that I was put into a beastly corner this afternoon, and could not help overhearing a conversation in which the lady held a part. That conversation was identical in result, and almost identical in terms, with one in which I took part about a year and a half ago.'
Young Mr. Janes set his elbows on the table, and rested his face upon his hands. He was silent for a long time, but at last he said:
'I cannot judge of the delicacy or otherwise of your statement, Mr.
Armstrong, but I leave Paris to-morrow morning, and I shall not return.
I should have gone, sir, without this revelation from you, and I am sorry that you have made it.'
'I am not,' said Paul stanchly. 'Nor do I think that you will be in a little time. I wasted three years, Mr. Janes, in wors.h.i.+p at that empty shrine, and when I had most accidentally and most unwittingly surprised another wors.h.i.+pper----'