The Noble Spanish Soldier Part 15

KING What mean'st thou?

BALTHAZAR The edge abated, feel.

KING No, no I see it.

BALTHAZAR As blunt as ignorance.

KING How? Put up - so - how?

BALTHAZAR I saw by chance hanging in Cardinal Alvarez gallery, a picture of h.e.l.l.

KING So what of that?

BALTHAZAR There lay upon burnt straw ten thousand brave fellows all stark naked, some leaning upon crowns, some on Mitres, some on bags of gold. Glory, in another corner lay, a feather beaten in the rain.

Beauty was turned into a watching candle that went out stinking.

Ambition went upon a huge high pair of stilts but horribly rotten.

Some in another nook were killing Kings, and some having their elbows shoved forward by Kings to murder others. I was, me thought, half in h.e.l.l myself whist I stood to view this piece.

KING Was this all?

BALTHAZAR Was't not enough to see that a man is more healthful that eats dirty puddings, than he that feeds on a corrupted conscience?

KING Conscience! What's that? A conjuring book ne'r opened Without the reader's danger. 'Tis indeed A scarecrow set i'th world to frighten weak fools.

Hast thou seen fields paved o'er with carca.s.ses, Now to be tender-footed, not to tread On a boy's mangled quarters, and a woman's!

BALTHAZAR Nay, Sir, I have searched the records of the Low-Countries, and find that by your pardon I need not care a pin for goblins, and therefore I will do it Sir. I did recoil because I was double charged.

KING No more. Here comes a satyr with sharp horns.

Enter Cardinal, and Medina like a French Doctor.

CARDINAL Sir, here's a Frenchman charged with some strange business Which to close ear only he'll deliver, Or else to none.

KING A Frenchman?

MEDINA Oui, Monsieur.

KING Cannot he speak the Spanish?

MEDINA Si Signor, un Poco - Monsieur Acontez in de Corner, me come for offer to your Bon Grace mi trezhumbla service, by gar no John fidleco shall put into your near braver melody dan dis un pet.i.te pipe shall play to your great bon Grace.

KING What is the tune you strike up, touch the string.

MEDINA Dis - me has run up and down mine Country and learn many fine thing, and mush knavery, now more and all dis me know you'll jumbla de fine vench and fill her belly with garsoone, her name is La Madam ...

KING Onaelia.

MEDINA She by gar. Now Monsieur dis Madam send for me to help her malady, being very naught of her corpus, her body, me know you no point loves dis vench. But royal Monsieur donne moye ten thousand French Crowns she shall kick up her tail by gar, and bes.h.i.+de lie dead as dog in de shannell.

KING Speak low.

MEDINA As de bag-pipe when de wind is puff, Gar beigh,

KING Thou namest ten thousand Crowns, I'll treble them Rid me of this leprosy. Thy name?

MEDINA Monsieur Doctor Devil.

KING Shall I a second wheel add to this mischief To set it faster going? If one break, T'other may keep his motion.

MEDINA Esselent fort boone.

KING Balthazar.

To give thy sword an edge again, this Frenchman Shall whet thee on, that if thy pistol fail, Or poniard, this can send the poison home.

BALTHAZAR Brother Cain we'll shake hands.

MEDINA In de bowl of de b.l.o.o.d.y busher. 'Tis very fine wholesome.

KING And more to arm your resolution, I'll tune this Churchman so, that he shall chime In sounds harmonious, merit to that man Whose hand has but a finger in that act.

BALTHAZAR That music were worth hearing.

KING Holy father, You must give pardon to me in unlocking A cave stuffed full with serpents, which my State Threaten to poison, and it lies in you To break their bed with thunder of your voice.

CARDINAL How princely son?

KING Suppose a universal Hot pestilence beat her mortiferous wings O'er all my kingdoms, am I not bound in soul, To empty all our academies of doctors And Aesculapian <46> spirits to charm this plague?

CARDINAL You are.

KING Or had the canon made a breach Into our rich Escurial <47>, down to beat it About our ears, should I stop this breach Spare even our richest Ornaments, nay our crown, Could it keep bullets off.

CARDINAL No sir, you should not.

KING This linstock <48> gives you fire. Shall then that strumpet And b.a.s.t.a.r.d breathe quick vengeance in my face, Making my Kingdom reel, my subjects stagger In their obedience, and yet live?

CARDINAL How? Live!

Shed not their bloods to gain a kingdom greater Than ten times this.

MEDINA Pish, not matter how Red-cap and his wit run.

KING As I am Catholic King, I'll have their hearts Panting in these two hands.

CARDINAL Dare you turn hangman?

Is this religion Catholic to kill What even brute beasts abhor to do, your own!

To cut in sunder wedlock's sacred knot Tied by heaven's fingers! To make Spain a bonfire To quench which must a second deluge rain In showers of blood, no water. If you do this There is an arm armipotent that can fling you Into a base grave, and your palaces With lightening strike, and of their ruins make A tomb for you, unpitied and abhorred, Bear witness all you lamps celestial I wash my hands of this.

KING Rise my good angel, Whose holy tunes beat from me that evil spirit Which jogs mine elbow, hence thou dog of h.e.l.l.