After Daybreak Part 7

"If I could speak with Dawn, alone," Clive says.

Victor gives a short bow and leaves us.

Clive presses a b.u.t.ton and the dark shades rise, letting in the bright sunlight. Before us spans all of Denver. I walk to the window and look out. I have a responsibility to the citizens of this city, no matter what runs through my blood.

If my father knew what he was, he put the citizens first as well.

"It was hard enough sending you to Los Angeles," Clive says, coming to stand beside me. "I really don't like the thought of you going to the Vampire Council."

"It's imperative that I go. I saw the V-Processing center and I can tell them that it's fully operational."

He seems to consider this answer, but it isn't quite enough. That's because one of the reasons I'm going is the vampire who just left the room. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

There is, and he can tell because he's known me for a long time.

"I think your father kept secrets, too," he says quietly.

Surprised by his words, I face him. "Why do you think that?"

"He told me that if anything happened to him, I should protect you from Valentine. But when Lord Valentine requested you serve as delegate, I put the city first."

"You had no choice. Valentine would have made the citizens pay."

"Probably. I trust this younger Valentine more, but not completely, because at his core he's still a vampire. Remember that, Dawn. Vampires can't be trusted. Anyway . . ." He sighs deeply. "I think it's time I gave you something."

He goes to his desk and unlocks one of the drawers. He opens it and pulls out a large ca.s.sette player. It's nice, not something patched together by the city's many junkers who scavenge for parts to re-create prewar devices.

"I've been debating for some time when to give this to you," Clive says, approaching me with it. "You'll want to listen to it in private. And keep it. I've never played ita"it was always meant for your ears alone."

He hands it to me. It's heavy. Not just from the thick plastic and dust, but heavy with memories. I can't really explain how I know that. "It's from my father, isn't it?"

"Yes."

I'm torn between the need to hear his voice again and putting off what his words might confirm. This could explain everything about my heritage. Or he could simply be singing me a lullaby. Or he's saying goodbye.

Exhaustion settles over me.

"Try and get some sleep before tonight," Clive says. "And know if you change your mind about going, I stand by you."

"Thanks, Clive, but I have to do this."

"Somehow, I knew you were going to say that."

Chapter 6.

Jeff pulls to a stop in front of our apartment building. Nothing ever looked so good to me. I wish I was going to have more than a few hours here, but I agree with Victor's sense of urgency.

As soon as Jeff and I step into the apartmenta"

"Dawn!"

Tegan pops off the couch, leaps into my arms, and hugs me hard. "I was so scared that I'd never see you again."

"That'll never happen," I say boldly. I don't want her to know that I'd thought the same thing. It's easy to be confident when all the dangers are behind you.

She pulls back, and I see that she's aged, too. She still has her pixie features and her cropped blond hair sticks up all over the place, but she's faced almost as many horrors as I have.

"My turn," Rachel says. With her brown hair pulled back in a ponytail and her casual clothesa"jeans and T-s.h.i.+rta"I figure she's not going to work today.

I give her a fierce hug.

"You could have told me what you were really up to, instead of just leaving a note," Rachel chides.

"Clive ordered me not to say anything."

"Since when do you obey orders?"

I smile. She's been fairly tolerant of the issues I have with authority. "I was trying to protect you."

"That I believe. How about some coffee?"

I glance over to see Tegan and Jeff studying me like they expect me to fall apart. "Love some. But I'm going to shower first."

"It'll be ready when you're done," Tegan says.

"Great. Thanks. I won't be long."

I walk into my bedroom and close the door behind me. I set the ca.s.sette player on my desk. I'm desperate to listen to it, but I want to be completely alone without the possibility of anyone disturbing me. Knowing Tegan, she'll be in my room before I'm out of the shower.

I strip off my clothes. When they collapse to the floor, dust leaps off them, bits of Crimson Sands that have followed me into the city. Perhaps that's a good sign, and I can carry the spirit of that place with me, too.

The shower is amazing. The water pooling at my feet is a dark brown at first as I wash all the dirt from my hair and skin, but when it runs clear, I turn the heat up and let myself absorb the warmth and the patter of drops against my skin. It's almost like I can feel each individual droplet. How is that possible? Am I really changing? Becoming more like a vampire? I want to crawl out of my skin. I don't feel at home in my own body anymore. It's like I don't know it any longer, like I don't know me.

Tears sting my eyes. Crouching in the corner, I wrap my arms around my legs. In spite of the warmth, I s.h.i.+ver. I don't want to be a vampire. I don't want to have things in common with Sin. I don't want to be a monster.

Shaking off the morose thoughts, I fight back the tears. I'm still Dawn Montgomery. I know who I am, even if I don't know what I am. I'm the humans' last hope, even if I don't officially represent them, even if I'm no longer the delegate.

Fighting for them is in my blood, too. My parents did it. My brother did it.

With renewed resolve, I'm determined not to let Sin win, not to let him conquer me.

Standing up, I shut off the water. After I step out and dry off, I put on a pair of loose flannel pants, a tank top, and an old soft hoodie. I need the comfort right now. I walk into the bedroom.

Clothes are strewn all over my bed and Tegan is standing beside it holding up a red silk negligee.

"Jeff told us you were going to the Vampire Council. He and Rachel are arguing about it now, so I decided to help you pack. I don't do well with yelling," she says. "Where did you get this?"

I s.n.a.t.c.h it from her, ball it up, and shove it back into the drawer where I'd hidden it. "From Faith. She gave it to me when I was in the hospital recovering from Victor's bite. I think as a joke. She said hospital gowns weren't fas.h.i.+onable or something like that."

"You should take it," Tegan says. "You know. For when you and Victor are alone." She wiggles her eyebrows.

"We're not going to be alone. Richard and Faith will be there." I start sorting through the clothes, trying to determine what looks conservative.

"They won't be there all the time. And not in the same room . . . or bed," she emphasizes.

"I don't know what the arrangements will be, but red silk is not appropriate."

She sits on the bed. I guess now that she's made a mess, she feels like her job is finished.

"Have you and Victor . . . done it?" she asks.

I feel the heat rus.h.i.+ng to my face. I shake my head.

"Do you want to?"

Do I? "I think about it, but he's a vampire. It makes a relations.h.i.+p hard." Even though I may be part vampire as well, I'm not ready to admit ita"not even to my best friend.

"You gave him your blood."

"He was dying."

"Maybe he's dying to sleep with you."

I wad up a T-s.h.i.+rt and throw it at her. Giggling, she ducks. It seems like it's been forever since we've laughed.

"What about you and Michael?" I ask, turning the tables.

"What about us?" she asks, grabbing a s.h.i.+rt and starting to b.u.t.ton it up, like it can't be folded until every b.u.t.ton is snugly in place.

"You seemed interested in him when we were in Los Angeles."

"I've always thought he was hot, you know that. Even when he was your boyfriend." She stills. "I hate what Sin did to his face."

"He clawed his chest, too. After you guys got out of the city and Michael tried to fight him."

"G.o.d, I can't believe I loved that guy." She studies me for a minute. "Is it because of what happened to me that you're afraid to trust Victor with your heart?"

"Victor is nothing like Sin. But the world around us is so intense. I just wish we had time to do something simple like go on a picnic."

She sits up, excited. "Maybe you'll do something special when you're in Vamp City. I bet they have fancy restaurantsa""

"That serve blood?"

She scowls. "People live there, don't they? Someone has to take care of stuff and provide that blood. I bet they have theaters and plays. These are the oldest of the Old Family vampires; they probably lavish themselves in extravagance. They won the war. They're bound to have the best of everything. Museums, art, libraries. I'd love to see it."

I can hear the deep wistfulness in her voice. I wish I could take her so she could experience all these wonderful things the Old Family has collected. Even if they are like Valentine and abhor modern technology, they'll still have priceless heirlooms. Old Family are wealthy beyond imagining. They'll have exquisite clothes, marvelous homes.

"I should probably pack a nice black dress," I murmur. "And heels."

"Definitely," Tegan answers. "And wear your hair up. I really should go with you so I can fix it for you."

"I wish you could, but, Tegan, it's a city filled with Old Family. Would you really want to be there?"

She visibly shudders. "No. Just . . . just don't let them turn you."

Oh, Tegan, if you only knew . . .

"I won't. I promise."

Her cell phone rings. She pulls it from her pocket, stares at the display, and answers. "Hey, Mom . . . Yeah, I am. Now? Okay. Okay, I get it. Okay. Okay."

Hanging up, she rolls her eyes. "My mom. She's got me on a short leash. I've gotta go."

Even though Tegan would consider it a betrayal if she knew how I felt, I can't blame her mom. Tegan snuck on the train so she could go to Los Angeles with me. I'm sure her mother wasn't aware of her plans.

"I'm sorry your family was worried."

"They don't understand. You're my best friend in all the world. I couldn't let you go alone."

I squeeze her hand. "I'm glad you were there."

"Not that I did much good." She pouts. "Missed my chance to stake Sin."

"We haven't seen the last of him."

"I'll be ready next time," she says.

Unfortunately, I don't know if it's possible to prepare for any encounter with Sin. He's not exactly sane.

She gives me a big hug. "Please come back."

"I will. Count on it."

She opens the door.

"Hey, Tegan?"

She stops and looks back over her shoulder.

"You didn't answer my question about you and Michael."