Memoir and Diary of John Yeardley, Minister of the Gospel Part 6

Bentham, 8 mo. 7, 1820,

MY DEAR BROTHER,

Thy affectionate letter of the 24th I have received, and need not tell thee how sensibly I am concerned for thy present situation.

I do hope thou wilt not lose sight of the object thou hast now in view, to get relieved in some way from the excessive load of business which presses upon thee, for we can none of us carry fire in our bosoms too long without being burnt. We shall not be justified in the sight of Him with whom we have to do, if we do not endeavor to place ourselves in such a situation as will best answer the end for which he has designed us. It would convict us of a very weak and erroneous idea of a Supreme Being, to suppose that he could not or would not prosper our endeavors with equal success in a more restricted way of trade, when our motives are purely to serve him faithfully. Surely, He who cares for the sparrows will not suffer _us_ to fall to the ground without his notice.

Thou wilt be ready to say it is an easy matter to speak of these things on paper; but believe me, my dear brother, I know a little of what I say.

There was a time when I was as extensively engaged in business, _according to my means_, as you are now. I have had large sums of acceptances to provide for, with nothing towards them but what was in the uncertainty of the drapers' hands. When I have set out on a journey I have had to take the distressing fear along with me, that if I failed of getting in almost every s.h.i.+lling that was due to me, I failed in paying my acceptances. Add to this, the painful prospect of losing my property until I could not pay my just debts, and then mention a situation which would place an honest mind in a greater degree of perplexity. O! had it not been for the preserving hand of my gracious Redeemer, I had never lifted up my head above the waters which were ready to overwhelm me. In the midst of all this I received a firm conviction, that if I wound up as speedily as circ.u.mstances would admit, I should measurably be safe; but if I suffered the impression to pa.s.s away disregarded, I might be hurled along with the stream and never more be able to recover myself. It seemed as if my eye was fixed on a star which shone quite on the other side of the [waters]; and I was thus enabled to wade through, without, knowing what course to take when I got to the other side. I do not mention this as being in the whole applicable to thy case; but as a fellow Christian traveller towards the celestial city, I earnestly intreat thee, in the love of the gospel, never to consider thyself on a level, or at liberty to act in full scope, with the man of business, who thinks himself created to pursue the things of time without being responsible to his Creator for endeavoring to reach a situation in life which would enable him to prepare for eternity. Thou wilt not be long at a loss what to do if thou dost not overlook the secret motive in thy own breast. Do not grieve at losing a little of what thou hast; it will come again, if for the best, and may bring the double reward of peace. If thou attendest to that directing Hand which has. .h.i.therto preserved thee as a monument of thy Heavenly Father's mercy, thy victory is already sure, though thou mayst not know it. It is not for the test, consequently not permitted, that we should always see our way. Were this the case there would be no exercise of faith. The servant of the prophet was blind as to the power which preserved them, when he saw a host of the enemy encamped against them: he cried out, "Alas, my master, how shall we do!" But his master answered, "Fear not; for they that be with us are more than they that be with them;" and the prophet prayed that the young man might be made to see. And when his eyes were opened, what did he see? Why, he saw the mountain full of horses and chariots of fire round about them.

The Lord's chosen people are continually encircled with these chariots of fire, otherwise it would not be possible to be so mercifully preserved from harm. Should it be insinuated to thee that thou art not of this chosen race, let me tell thee, we become children of the Most High as soon as he has raised in us a desire to serve him, and we become willing to abide under his protecting wing whatever changes may take place in our own feelings during the operation of his holy hand upon us.

Nothing is more important in the life of a Christian than the manner in which he turns to account the opportunities for serving his Lord which continually spring up before him.

6 _mo_. 23.--Going last evening to Wenington, to repeat my French lesson, my friends there asked me to call with them on a sick person; feeling quite free to do so, I went with them. On sitting quietly by the bedside, a little matter came before me, which was communicated from these words: "Affliction cometh not forth of the dust."

On my return home, I could not but reflect on the necessity of having our bow strung, and being always alive to the interest of souls, and endeavoring to imitate the example of our great Master, whose whole life was employed in continually going up and down doing good.

CHAPTER III.

FROM HIS COMMISSION TO RESIDE ABROAD IN 1820 TO HIS REMOVAL TO GERMANY IN 1822.

In 1822 John Yeardley went to reside in Germany. As his residence abroad const.i.tuted one of the most remarkable turns in his life, and exercised a powerful influence on the rest of his career, we shall develop as fully as we are able the motives by which he was induced to leave his native country. By means of his Diary we can trace the early appearance and growth, if not the origin, of the strong Christian sympathy he ever afterwards manifested with seeking souls in the nations on the continent of Europe, and especially amongst the German people.

The first hint concerning his desire to go abroad is contained in the account of a dream, under date of the 2nd of the Ninth Month, 1818, regarding which he felt much disappointed, because he could not recollect the names of the places in Germany about which he had in his dream been interested. The next year (the 19th of the Fifth Month) he had a second dream on the same subject, in which he supposed his friend Joseph Wood was about to go on a religious mission to the Continent, and he brought out his Atlas to find the places for him. On being asked if he meant to accompany him, he said he "was not prepared to answer at present." In the relation of a third dream, which he had the next year (the 25th of the Eighth Month, 1820), the locality to which his mind was attracted is first indicated. "Pyrmont and Minden," he says, "rested very closely with me, and to them I felt bound."

It might not have been worth while to have made allusion to these dreams, which ought perhaps to be rather as the continuation or echo of his thoughts than as their original source, but for the deep importance which John Yeardley himself attached to them. He considered that by them was first made known to him the divine will respecting his future course; and that his longing desire to recover the name of the forgotten locality of the first dream was answered in the last. It can admit of little doubt that the same conviction of their more than common significance, which led him to cherish as sacred the remembrance of these night-visions, helped to form and sustain his resolution in carrying out the project with which he connected them.

Just before the occurrence of the last dream, his faith in the heavenly source of the invitation which, whether waking or sleeping, he had received, to go over and help his Christian brethren on the Continent, was confirmed by a prophetic message from John Kirkham, who, in the course of his religious travels, again visited Yorks.h.i.+re.

8 _mo_.--Our dear friend, John Kirkham, from Earl's Colne, Ess.e.x, slept at our house on Second-day, the 7th, and had a meeting with our few on Third-day. How wonderfully was he enlarged; and I could not but admire how he was favored to speak to the states of some present. I could set my seal to every word he uttered, and say, This is the very truth. Before he left us he had a select opportunity in our family, and said a great deal stout being faithful to our own vision. He seemed to answer a question in my mind as fully as I had any right to expect; for I had almost asked it as a sign that if I were not deceived in my vision he should be led to speak on the subject. He said emphatically, "We cannot be faithful to the vision of another man, we do not know it except it be revealed to us; but we must be FAITHFUL TO OUR OWN VISION."

On the 9th I accompanied him to the Monthly Meeting at Settle, and I once more desired that, if my feeling in former times had not deceived me, this servant of the Lord might be led to speak on the same subject; and indeed he scarcely said anything else but what had the strongest bearing on my request. What encouraging favors do I receive at the hands of so good a Master!

A few months later we find the charge to foreign labor renewed, with intimation of the wide field in which he would have to work; an intimation which was amply verified in his future travels.

11 _mo_. 26.--At meeting something involuntarily entered my mind like this, I will make thee a preacher of righteousness to many nations. I felt not only a desire to be made willing to be sent, but also a desire to be prepared.

A few days after noting this impression he thus communes with himself on this topic, which now began to absorb the greater portion of his thoughts.

12 _mo_. 3, _First-day_.--As I walked alone to the meeting this morning, I thought within myself, What can be the cause that I so often feel drawn in spirit towards the land of ----? My thoughts have now for a long time past so frequently and so involuntarily revolved on the subject that I begin to be very jealous over them, and to query whether it is the workings of self-imaginations. If this is the case, O that I may be relieved from them. But however unaccountable my feelings may be, a secret love towards some unknown souls in ---- is so strong at times, that if I had wings I should for my own inward peace visit them in body as I now do in spirit. It seems as if my spiritual eye saw in those parts what we may call a seed (the seed of the kingdom sown in the heart) that wants to take root downwards and spring upwards, but which is almost choked with the tares of superst.i.tion. Are there not scattered up and down in ----, many whose souls are verging from under the clouds of thick darkness, and from under the bonds of idolatrous superst.i.tion, towards that glorious liberty which is brought to light by the gospel? Something in me secretly craves an opportunity to tell those precious creatures that the time appears near at hand when this glorious gospel light will s.h.i.+ne so clearly that they will discover a Saviour in the secret of their own hearts; and it is to him (I could tell them) that they must look for the perfection of their salvation. Should there be anything of the right savor in my heart concerning this matter, I humbly hope that in due time it will be brought to maturity, and my way made plain and easy--_plain_, so that I cannot possibly mistake the pointing hand of divine wisdom, and _easy_, so that when I hear the command I may be enabled to obey.

A very instructive time at meeting. The subject abovementioned glanced in my view, and with it the Dover-failing objection, If I am at all "apt to teach," can it or will it be required of me to leave those here and others in this land who have need of instruction? This objection was immediately answered in a way which I never before experienced. They have, besides many teachers, the unerring light of Jesus in their own hearts unto which they know they ought alone to look for direction. And if they neglect or overlook the means in themselves, it is not in my power, a poor instrument, to do them any good. So it may be said of others to whom I may apprehend myself called. It all revolves on this single and important point,--What is the _divine will_ concerning me? If I can only know this and am enabled to do it, all will be well.

In the Autumn he attended Liverpool Quarterly Meeting, an occasion which was one of the most memorable seasons of his life. His narrative of it is very characteristic:--

9 _mo_. 19.--My dear wife and I left home to attend Liverpool Quarterly Meeting. Through mercy we arrived safe there, but I, as usual when from home, felt very low and poor in spirit, and was ready to call in question my coming to the place. For although I received, as I thought, a proper signal before I left home, yet one or two circ.u.mstances occurred to discourage me from going, which I pressed through with some firmness; however, such was my uneasiness the first night in Liverpool, that I was very desirous, if my being there was in right wisdom, something might turn up to convince me that I had not done wrong in leaving home. And blessed be the name of Jesus, I had not been long in the first meeting (their Monthly Meeting the day before the Quarterly,) before I was perfectly satisfied. There were present Willett Hicks and Huldah Sears from America, and Mary Watson from Ireland. In the early part of the meeting my mind was engaged in meditating on--"G.o.d will enlarge j.a.phet and dwell in the tents of Shem," and so it proved. The silence was broken by W. Hicks with these words: "Great men are not always wise, neither do the ancients understand wisdom." Others present were much favored, and the meeting ended in heavenly harmony.

After it was over I found to my surprise and joy, my brother and sister from Barnsley, whom I had expected to come to Bentham to accompany us to Liverpool, and their not coming to Bentham first was one of the causes which had discouraged me in leaving home; for I once had concluded, in my wavering, to leave my going for their determination, thinking if they came it would be the means of getting me off, if not, I should give it up; but it so fell out that they took the nearest way to meet us there, without writing us word, and it would have been a great disappointment had I not been there. I should not have written so much about a seeming trifle but to show the necessity of firmness in doing what is pointed out, unless some reasonable cause prevents.

Now to the opening of the Quarterly Meeting for wors.h.i.+p, which was like the day of Pentecost, when the place was filled with a rus.h.i.+ng mighty wind from heaven. The first stream of ministry flowed again through W.H., who appeared from these words: "In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me and drink." It was indeed applicable; for all seemed athirst, and were invited and admitted to drink of the waters of life freely; those who were afar off drew nigh, and those who were near were enabled to acknowledge the might of Him who had called them to his footstool, and crowned them with his presence. Huldah Sears and Mary Watson were also much favored in testimony. What opened on my mind to express was this: "G.o.d speaketh once, yea, twice; yet man perceiveth it not." I thought we were bound to acknowledge that our G.o.d still reigned in Israel, and was condescending to speak to his people. Immediately afterwards M.R. appeared a long time in supplication, and then H.S. both very powerfully; so that goodness seemed to rise higher and higher, until we swam in divine life. This blessed, heavenly meeting will be remembered by some to the latest period of time.

After this event John Yeardley speaks of being favored with more enlargement of love towards the members of his small meeting; and also of having, when attending a public meeting at Wray with Joseph Wood, to kneel down in prayer for the congregation.

10 _mo_. 20.--To my humbling admiration, he writes, I had in the conclusion to kneel down and call on the name of the holy and high G.o.d of the whole earth, that he would be pleased to continue the blessing which he had already condescended to pour down on our heads. This is a most awful act of wors.h.i.+p: I trust the intimation to it was attended with proper weightiness of spirit.

This meeting was a remarkable season, and is thus described in Joseph Wood's journal:--

_Bentham_, 10 _mo_. 20.--We [J.W. and James Harrison] set out for Wray, our beloved friend John Yeardley being our guide. We called by the way at Thomas Barrow's, of Wenington Hall, and drank tea; then proceeded to Wray. There were but few Friends here, but they have a very large ancient meeting-house, and my concern being princ.i.p.ally towards the inhabitants, and proper information thereof being given, abundance attended; the meeting-house both above and below stairs was pretty well filled; and their behavior was deserving of commendation. The Lord's presence eminently crowned the a.s.sembly, and the truths of the gospel were largely and livingly declared amongst them, and it was a time of extraordinary favor to many. I had first a long testimony to bear therein, from Luke iv. 41. A pretty long time of silence then ensued, and great was the solemnity which appeared to cover the a.s.sembly. After which John Yeardley stood up and said, Some were ready to say there was no wors.h.i.+p without words, but from the precious solemnity which he believed had covered many minds since the former communication, he was ready to conclude many were feelingly convinced to the contrary. He was then pretty largely led forth in opening the advantage of silently waiting upon G.o.d. I a pretty long time next, from Isaiah liv. 11,13. James Harrison next, from Matt. xiii. 44. John Yeardley was next concerned in prayer. The meeting held about two hours and a half.

21_st_.--About the middle of the day my companion (J.H.) called upon me, and betwixt twelve and one o'clock we left here for Lancaster, Thomas Barrow being our guide, and his wife, Charlotte Russell, and Emma Hodgson, accompanying us. Emma Hodgson is the daughter of a clergyman of Rochdale: she had been some time on a visit at Thomas Barrow's and went with the family to the meeting at Bentham when we were there, and was much reached and tendered therein; and attending the meeting at Wray last evening she declared after her return that she was fully convinced of the truth.

Returning to John Yeardley's diary for this year, we find some pa.s.sages from which profitable instruction may be gathered.

11 _mo._ 8 was the Monthly Meeting at Settle; my dear love and I both attended. To me it was a poor low season; if there were any good, I was too much like the heath in the desert,--I knew not when it came. In addition to this, it felt as if I had to mourn over the barren state of some others. O, how I dread the state of a lukewarm Quaker! May I ever be preserved from this sorrowful state of a lukewarm Quaker! I believe it is often the means of bringing a damp over our solemn a.s.semblies.

12 _mo._ 7.--_Query._ What is the most likely means for me to adopt to approach nearer to holiness? _Answer._ To spend more time in retirement silently to wait upon G.o.d. The more conversant I am with him, the more I shall know of his will and receive power to do the same. To do the will of the Almighty is the way to perfect holiness. The nearer acquaintance we cultivate with him, the stronger will become the ties of his affection. The more devoted we are to him, the more confidence will he repose in us.

Catching then a glimpse of the glorious calling of the Gospel minister, he breaks forth in the following strain:--

If I am ambitious in anything on earth, it is to be eminently useful in His cause. I can say with the wise man, I ask neither riches nor honor, except the honor which cometh from doing the will of G.o.d; but I do ask for "an understanding heart." I trust I can say in the deepest sincerity that I could renounce, if they were in my power, the riches and honor of ten thousand earthly worlds in purchase of a double portion of that holy unction which rested on Elisha's spirit. These are bold sayings, but my Saviour tells me that as there is no limitation to his goodness to grant, so there is no limitation in asking of him for the gift of his Holy Spirit. But then what manner of man ought this to be on whom shall be conferred such great honor! Surely it must be left to Himself to prepare the vessel before he pours in the oil.

We have already made an extract from the diary of the 3rd of the Twelfth Month in connection with John Yeardley's call to visit Germany. The same diary supplies us with the description of a spiritual opening for the benefit of others with which he was favored in the same meeting.

In my minute for First-day last I mentioned its being an instructive meeting to me. Towards the conclusion a simile of this kind arose and spread before my view: As wax when melted by the fire or the candle is then only capable of receiving the impression of the stamp put upon it, so also are our minds only capable of receiving impressions of divine good when our spirits are melted and contrited before the Lord. As these seasons are not at our command, it appeared to me to be of the highest importance for us to endeavor to preserve and improve them as the best means of testifying our grat.i.tude to the great Donor. The impression which the above contemplation made on my spirit proved like a morsel of bread to my soul, which I found I could not conceal, though I struggled hard to eat it alone, it seeming so insignificant to hand to others; but at length I gave up, and felt it to be a time wherein some among the few present were melted as wax before the fire, and had a portion of divine goodness afresh imprinted on their minds; and my spirit craved that they might not prove as "the morning cloud and as the early dew that goeth away."