Memoir and Diary of John Yeardley, Minister of the Gospel Part 10

We had, he says, a very favored meeting in the room where their meeting is usually held. In the sitting in the evening, with the family where we lodged, many of the neighbors came in, who seemed to have no wish to leave us. I thought of the words of the dear Saviour, when seeing the mult.i.tudes he had compa.s.sion on them, because they were as sheep having no shepherd.

Truly these have no outward shepherd who cares much for their spiritual interests. I felt my heart much warmed in gospel love towards them, and we invited them to give us their company again next day, which most of them did. In this meeting there was something expressed so remarkably suited to the states of some present, that after it was over a woman confessed it had been as was declared, that she herself was one to whom it belonged; and she gave us a short relation how it had been with her in former days.

The love which these simple, honest-hearted creatures manifest towards us does away with all distinctions and the difference of language. O, that He who teaches as never man taught may be pleased to guide them and bring them to himself that there may be one shepherd and one sheep-fold. All our toils in this weary land will not be too much if we can he made the instruments of helping only one poor soul on its way Zionwards.

10 _mo_. 8.--I returned yesterday evening from Minden, with a thankful heart, to come again to my quiet and romantic habitation in Peacedale. The strong fortifications which are made, and now making, around Minden, give it an appearance of gloom and oppression which is scarcely to be borne. O, how uncomfortable do I feel when within its walls; but in its neighborhood there are a few friends to whom I am tenderly united in spirit.

He concludes this entry with an allusion to the homely and even hard manner of life to which many of these were accustomed.

To some of our Friends in England who are dissatisfied with their outward situation, I would say, Come and see how these live on the Continent.

The 29th of the Tenth Month was the anniversary of his wife's death. His diary for this day is an affecting transcript of his feelings on the occasion.

The shock which my earthly happiness received this day twelvemonths has been, this evening, piercingly renewed in the recollection of almost every minute transaction which accompanied the awful event of the closing moments of my precious lamb. For truly like a lamb she lived, and was well prepared to become an angel-spirit. O, happy spirit, thou art at rest; then why should I mourn thy loss? Surely He who knows the weakness of our frame will forgive, for he himself gave us the example in weeping over those he loved. The Almighty has been very good to me; he has put it in the hearts of those with whom I reside to care for me with an affectionate interest. O, for greater diligence, that the day's work may keep pace with the day. What shall I do, but pray for more strength to be made able to do all that may be required of me. I never saw the advice of our dear Saviour more necessary for myself than at the present time, "Be ye wise as serpents and harmless as doves."

Soon after this he had a return, of his complaint in the stomach, which caused him to exclaim--

We are indeed but dust and ashes; how quickly the slender thread may be cut, and reduce this frail tabernacle to that state of earthly composition from which it was formed. But the spiritual part in us must have an abiding somewhere _for ever_; this is the awful consideration which ought continually to affect our hearts. Is it not a strange infatuation to rank the moments of affliction among the evil events of our lives, when these may prove the very means of bringing back our wandering feet to the path which leads to everlasting life?

He then reviews his own situation, his calling and his work.

It is often the consideration of my heart, What has brought me into this country? what have I done? what am I doing? and what have I to do? The enemy is not wanting to distress my poor mind on the point of these four important queries. But to the first I can answer, An humble submission to what I believe to be the leadings of Divine Wisdom. To the second, through the a.s.sistance of never-failing love, I have done what I could and have found peace. To the third, I am desirous through divine aid to do what I can; and to the fourth, which refers to the future, I must commit it into the hands of the Judge of the whole earth, who alone is able to guide my feet in the sure path. I feel in the present moment desirous to keep eternity continually before my view, and to let outward things hang more fully on the dependence of Him who suffers not a sparrow to fall to the ground without his notice. (11 _mo_. 30.)

12 _mo_, 1.--The reading meeting this evening has been a precious time. Our spirits have been much tendered in reading some account of the lives and deaths of our worthy Friends recorded in Sewel's History. Tears so overpowered the reader and the hearers, that the reading was at times obliged to be suspended until we had given relief to our feelings.

In addition to this meeting, John Yeardley established another for the young, to be held on Fourth-day evening, "in which they might improve themselves in reading, and acquire a knowledge of the principles of the Society, with other branches of useful information." The young women were to bring their work; and it was his delight to interrupt the reading with religious instruction, and such remarks as a father makes for the improvement and gratification of his children. We see him here for the first time in a character in which he was well known to the present generation in various parts of England, viz., as an instructor and guide of the youth. In noticing in his Diary the formation of the Youths'

Meeting at Pyrmont, he comments with pleasure on the innocent cheerful manners of his audience, and on the advantages which might be looked for from this kind of social intercourse.

The last entry in this year records an occasion of near approach to the throne of grace in prayer in the little congregation at Pyrmont.

12 _mo_. 29, _First-day_.--A most remarkable season of divine favor in our evening a.s.sembly. The awe which I had felt over my spirit the whole of the day, and not feeling freedom to break my mind in the meeting in the morning, induced me to look to the evening opportunity with fear and trembling, which indeed is always the case when I feel the Master's hand upon me. The most solemn act of wors.h.i.+p, that of public supplication, so powerfully impressed my mind, that I believed it right to yield to the motion, which I humbly trust was done in due reverence and humility of soul. Our spirits were so humbled under feelings of good that it seemed as if the secrets of all hearts were presented before the throne of grace, to ask forgiveness for former transgressions, strength to serve the Most High with more acceptance, and to be finally prepared to reign with him in glory. O how these seasons of refres.h.i.+ng will rise up against us in the great day of account, if we are not concerned to improve by them! Grant, dearest Father, that I may experience a nearer and stronger tie to do thy will more perfectly; and let it please thee to remember those in this place and this land for whom my spirit so often secretly mourns and prays.

The Diary of 1823 opens with a profound and solemn reflection.

1823. 1 _mo_. 4.--For want of faith we are too much inclined to serve ourselves before we are willing to serve the Great Master, thinking we may be able to do much for him afterwards, when it will more accord with our situation in life. But, alas! this time may never come; if we thus put by the _acceptable season_, our lives may close with our only having performed very imperfectly the part which had been designed for us in the Church militant. Painful would be the sting when appealing to the Judge of the earth, in a moment when we no longer possessed the capability of serving him, should the declaration be, Thou hadst a desire to serve me when in health and strength, but thou wished _first_ to _serve thyself_. My time was not then thy time, therefore _thy time_ is not now _my time_.

A letter to his brother, written in the summer of this year (6 mo. 9), gives a description of the mode of bleaching in use in Germany, which will, we believe, be interesting to the English reader. John Yeardley says:

Wilt thou not be surprised when I tell thee that I am about to commence yarn-bleaching? Thou mayst be sure there is a pretty certain prospect of considerable advantages, with not much risk, to induce me to make the attempt. The advantages are threefold--safety, expedition and cheapness.

The first consists in the simplicity of treatment and safety of the ingredients, no chemical process being made use of; the second arises from the heat of the climate; the last is easily accounted for from the low price of labor and the cheapness of the raw material, which is produced in abundance in the neighborhood. In the country around, for a very considerable distance, almost every family make their own linen; they grow or buy the flax, spin the yarn and get it woven, and either bleach it themselves or send it to others who have better conveniences in water, &c.

As the spring commenced, I noticed these little bleaching-plots wherever I went, and often wondered that the color was so good. Knowing that such people could not possibly be at any great expense or risk in the operation, I concluded it must be done by dint of time and labor, supposing that the yarn and cloth must lie at least a few months on the gra.s.s; but, on inquiry, I was surprised to find it was made quite white in three weeks or a month. To make a further proof, I sent two bundles of yarn to two different places to bleach; it is now returned of a very good color and perfectly strong, though it has been in blenching only a month and two or three days, and although the greater part of the Fifth Month has been unfavorable for bleaching. As to any risk of the yarn being tendered, it is quite out of the question; it seems to be done by the operation that nature points out. I have found a very convenient place For the purpose of making trial; there is plenty of good clear water. There is a prospect of having honest workpeople, and at very reasonable wages--not more than 6_d_. or 8_d_. a day; there are many honest creatures to be had at these wages who have nothing in the world to do.

From the first of my leaving England, I had no expectation of being liberated from this country before the expiration of about four years, and I have always been desirous that something should turn up that would afford me support by suitable employment; so that what I have now in view does not seem to clash with my former prospects. It is (he adds with affectionate feeling) a source of great consolation that I can always unbosom my mind so freely to thee; and I consider it among the greatest blessings I enjoy, that thou hast never yet failed of being made an instrument of support to me, and my prayer is that thou mayst never lose thy reward.

Pyrmont is one of the oldest watering-places north of the Alps. The inhabitants are very much dependent on the visitors who resort thither during the three summer months, and amongst whom may frequently be reckoned some of the first families in Europe. This year, 1823, the Prince and Princess of Prussia (the present Regent of Prussia and his consort) were there, and one Fourth-day morning attended the Friends' Meeting. The meeting-house stands in one of the _allees_, and although its position is not central, it is sufficiently public to be an object of attraction to the curiosity of strangers. A memorandum under date of the 18th of the Sixth Month records the royal visit, and John Yeardley's spiritual exercise on the occasion.

6 _mo_. 18.--To-day the young prince and Princess of Prussia, with the Princess their mother, and the Hofmeister, have been at our Fourth-day meeting. They entered with such seriousness on their countenances that I felt my spirit suddenly drawn towards them in love, and a secret prayer was raised in my heart for their everlasting good. Feeling the influence of divine love to increase, I believed it right to kneel down, and in brokenness of spirit I expressed what had opened on my mind, which afforded me peace; and I hope good to others was imparted, although I may say through the unworthiest of instruments. For truly I have for some time been as in a state of death and darkness, owing to my unwatchfulness. O what would I give for more circ.u.mspection, that I might be more prepared to receive the _word_, and when command is given, publish the same.

But, unworthy creature, I often deprive myself and others of seasons of good through my negligence and barrenness. When will the time come when I can say, all earthly things are under my feet, and the cause of religion and virtue rules predominant in my heart! Lord, hasten the day; and preserve my feet in thy path in the midst of many snares; and rather let me die than be suffered to do anything which would dishonor thy gracious and holy Name, and the profession I am making of thee before the world.

Loose my bands, and enable me to say in sincerity of heart, I am willing to serve thee freely.

With the cause for self-condemnation, which is alluded to in this entry was no doubt connected the neglect to keep up his Diary; no entry occurs for more than five months previous. It was probably much more difficult in the position which he occupied in Germany to maintain a spirit of watchfulness and self-recollection than among his more experienced Friends in Yorks.h.i.+re. There is an allusion to this in an entry of a little later date.

7 _mo_. 8.--My mind feels a little more gathered than it has been for some time past; but the little outward difficulties which are continually arising have a great tendency to disperse the best feelings. I think it is almost the greatest lesson that we have to learn, to stand so fast in times of trouble as not to suffer loss. If we would so conduct ourselves that the change of times and seasons should not have such an unfavorable influence on our minds, this would be one great point gained; it would enable us to meet the difficulties of the day in a better state to combat with them.

But if daily trials abounded of a nature the most likely to r.e.t.a.r.d his spiritual progress, we shall see that He who had appointed his lot, provided in his faithfulness the needful corrective, and by the discipline of filial fear in the ministry of the word, kept him safe in his sanctuary.

The attendance of visitors at the meeting-house was often numerous, although it was seldom that they remained during the whole time of wors.h.i.+p. Meetings of this kind were very trying to John Yeardley's faith and feelings; but sometimes they were seasons of heavenly blessing such abundantly to make amends for past humiliation.

7 _mo_. 6.--To-day the small meeting-house and pa.s.sage were quite filled with strangers, and I was told many went away who could not get in, and some remained under the windows. No creature on earth knows what my poor mind suffers when I go to meeting under such circ.u.mstances. Many whom curiosity brings in the expectation to hear words may some times be disappointed, but I hope there are some whose intentions are sincere, and who are desirous to be informed the way to Zion. I hope strength was afforded me to preach Christ crucified. O that the Lord may support me in these very trying seasons, and take from me the fear of man, and fill my heart with a holy fear of offending Him whom I humbly trust I am desirous of choosing to be my Lord and Master.

7 _mo_. 27.--"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me bless his holy name." Notwithstanding my many seasons of poverty and inward distress, the foregoing language is sometimes put into my heart on my return from our meetings, which are, in the bathing season, almost always crowded with strangers. Their manner of coming in and going out during the time of wors.h.i.+p is exceedingly disturbing, and yet I cannot but admire the stillness which prevails when anything is delivered. The help which I at times experience in these trying seasons is wonderful in my eyes. When I am concerned to stand up in His dread and fear, what have I else to fear? This fear would always cast out the fear of man which ever brings death; and yet so weak am I, that after all these precious helps and comforting times, I tremble when the meeting-day comes again lest, I should fail in doing the Lord's will. Such is my fear before I can rise to my feet in meetings that I say with Samson, Be with me this once more that I may bear testimony to thy name; then, if it be thy will let me die for thee, and I will not think it too much, to suffer. O that He would be pleased to enlarge his gift in my heart, and he unto me mouth and wisdom, and give me tongue and utterance to declare his name unto the nations.

7 _mo_. 30.--Our Fourth-day meeting to-day has been a precious heavenly season. Much more weightiness of spirit appeared to exist in the strangers who attended, and consequently more stillness. I had not long taken my seat before I believed it right to stand up with the words of the apostle, "Awake to righteousness and sin not, for some have not the knowledge of G.o.d: I speak this to your shame." The women's side was nearly full of richly-clad females; they bore the marks of worldly distinction, and were indeed as fine as hands and pins could make them. But the tenderings of divine love reached the hearts of some among them in a particular degree. I felt such a nearness of spirit towards them that I had great openness in speaking of the things which came before me. After meeting they very willingly accepted of some books. One of them was much reached, and went into the little plantation to weep. Another went to her to comfort her; but she replied, Go from me and leave me alone. We may truly say with the apostle that G.o.d is no respecter of persons, but those who fear him and work righteousness will be accepted of him, to whatever nation, kindred, tongue or people they may belong. All distinctions of religious sects and party spirit are laid aside when our hearts become prepared to embrace each other in true Christian love. I do believe the Lord's work is begun in the hearts of many in this land; and the fervent prayer of my spirit is that he may be pleased to carry it on to perfection, and that we may live to see the glorious day when righteousness shall cover the earth as the waters cover the channels of the sea. O Germany, Germany, what does my heart feel on account of thy inhabitants! It seems as if I could tread thy soil for the remainder of my days if I could only be made the instrument of helping on their way those scattered ones who are athirst for the sincere milk of the word of life.

One of the females who visited our meetings came to the school room on Seventh-day, and requested the favor of having a few books to peruse and circulate. She said she was from Osnabruck, and that there were a number of people in that place who had a great love to the Friends of our Society. Such opportunities afford the means of circulating a knowledge of the truth to those whose hearts may be preparing to receive it; and if such are only awakened to seek after the ways of holiness, although they may never come to be of our number on earth, they will he found among the number of the saints in heaven. The bathing-list this season already amounts to 2500 persons, in which number there are many who are desirous to inquire the way to Zion. It is much to be desired that the peculiar advantages which Pyrmont affords for spreading in the different parts of the Continent books ill.u.s.trative of our religious principles should be judiciously embraced, particularly as there appears such an openness to receive them. I can truly say I have been thankful that my lot has been here this summer, and I trust I have not flinched from doing what I believed to be required of me.

In his letters to his brother, John Yeardley makes frequent mention of his mother. In the Ninth Month he heard of her being seriously ill, and he thus writes in reference to her state, in a letter elated the 29th of the Ninth Month:--

The state of my dear mother's health is truly alarming; but as I have received no further account from thee, I am flattering my poor panting heart with a comfortable hope that she may have taken a turn for the better, and will yet live to see the hour when we shall once more embrace each other in my native land. If she should be taken away without my being permitted to see her again, it would be a cup which I could not tell how to drink. This brings poignantly to my remembrance one of the most trying hours of my life, and yet the support then received was wonderful.

As I rode along the road in the course of this summer on a journey of business, my dear mother was brought to my remembrance in such a very remarkable manner, that I seemed to have a spiritual interview with her; and she was brought so near to my feelings, that I thought it probable I should never see her again until we met in eternity. I scarcely know how I felt, but it was as if my spirit accompanied hers into the regions above.

I noted down the circ.u.mstance when I got home; for it had made such an impression on my mind, that I should not then have been surprised to have heard of her departure.[1]

The following instructive remarks occur in the Diary about this time:--