The School for Scandal Part 12

MOSES. 'Twas not be done, indeed----

TRIP. Good lack--you surprise me--My Friend Brush has indorsed it and I thought when he put his name at the Back of a Bill 'twas as good as cash.

MOSES. No 'twouldn't do.

TRIP. A small sum--but twenty Pound--harkee, Moses do you think you could get it me by way of annuity?

SIR OLIVER. An annuity! ha! ha! a Footman raise money by annuity-- Well done Luxury egad! [Aside.]

MOSES. Who would you get to join with you?

TRIP. You know my Lord Applice--you have seen him however----

MOSES. Yes----

TRIP. You must have observed what an appearance he makes--n.o.body dresses better, n.o.body throws off faster--very well this Gentleman will stand my security.

MOSES. Well--but you must insure your Place.

TRIP. O with all my Heart--I'll insure my Place, and my Life too, if you please.

SIR OLIVER. It's more than I would your neck----

MOSES. But is there nothing you could deposit?

TRIP. Why nothing capital of my master's wardrobe has drop'd lately--but I could give you a mortgage on some of his winter Cloaths with equity of redemption before November or--you shall have the reversion--of the French velvet, or a post obit on the Blue and Silver--these I should think Moses--with a few Pair of Point Ruffles as a collateral security--hey, my little Fellow?

MOSES. Well well--we'll talk presently--we detain the Gentlemen----

SIR OLIVER. O pray don't let me interrupt Mr. Trip's Negotiation.

TRIP. Harkee--I heard the Bell--I believe, Gentlemen I can now introduce you--don't forget the annuity little Moses.

SIR OLIVER. If the man be a shadow of his Master this is the Temple of Dissipation indeed!

[Exeunt.]

SCENE III.--CHARLES, CARELESS, etc., etc.

At Table with Wine

CHARLES. 'Fore Heaven, 'tis true!--there is the great Degeneracy of the age--many of our acquaintance have Taste--Spirit, and Politeness--but plague on't they won't drink----

CARELESS. It is so indeed--Charles--they give into all the substantial Luxuries of the Table--and abstain from nothing but wine and wit--Oh, certainly society suffers by it intolerably-- for now instead of the social spirit of Raillery that used to mantle over a gla.s.s of bright Burgundy their conversation is become just like the Spa water they drink which has all the Pertness and flatulence of champaine without its spirit or Flavour.

FIRST GENTLEMAN. But what are they to do who love Play better than wine----

CARELESS. True--there's Harry diets himself--for gaming and is now under a hazard Regimen.

CHARLES. Then He'll have the worst of it--what you wouldn't train a horse for the course by keeping him from corn--For my Part egad I am never so successful as when I'm a little--merry--let me throw on a Bottle of Champaine and I never lose--at least I never feel my losses which is exactly the same thing.

SECOND GENTLEMAN. Aye that may be--but it is as impossible to follow wine and play as to unite Love and Politics.

CHARLES. Pshaw--you may do both--Caesar made Love and Laws in a Breath--and was liked by the Senate as well as the Ladies-- but no man can pretend to be a Believer in Love, who is an abjurer of wine--'tis the Test by which a Lover knows his own Heart-- fill a dozen b.u.mpers to a dozen Beauties, and she that floats atop is the maid that has bewitched you.

CARELESS. Now then Charles--be honest and give us yours----

CHARLES. Why I have withheld her only in compa.s.sion to you-- if I toast her you should give a round of her Peers, which is impossible! on earth!

CARELESS. O, then we'll find some canonized Vestals or heathen G.o.ddesses that will do I warrant----

CHARLES. Here then--b.u.mpers--you Rogues--b.u.mpers! Maria--Maria----

FIRST GENTLEMAN. Maria who?

CHARLES. Oh, d.a.m.n the Surname 'tis too formal to be register'd in Love's calendar--but now Careless beware--beware--we must have Beauty's superlative.

FIRST GENTLEMAN. Nay Never study[,] Careless--we'll stand to the Toast--tho' your mistress should want an eye--and you know you have a song will excuse you----

CARELESS. Egad so I have--and I'll give him the song instead of the Lady.----

SONG.--AND CHORUS--<4>

Here's to the maiden of bashful fifteen; Here's to the widow of fifty; Here's to the flaunting extravagant quean, And here's to the housewife that's thrifty.

Chorus. Let the toast pa.s.s,-- Drink to the la.s.s, I'll warrant she'll prove an excuse for a gla.s.s.

Here's to the charmer whose dimples we prize; Now to the maid who has none, sir; Here's to the girl with a pair of blue eyes, And here's to the nymph with but one, sir.

Chorus. Let the toast pa.s.s, &c.

Here's to the maid with a bosom of snow: Now to her that's as brown as a berry: Here's to the wife with a face full of woe, And now to the damsel that's merry.

Chorus. Let the toast pa.s.s, &c.

For let 'em be clumsy, or let 'em be slim, Young or ancient, I care not a feather; So fill a pint b.u.mper quite up to the brim, So fill up your gla.s.ses, nay, fill to the brim, And let us e'en toast them together.

Chorus. Let the toast pa.s.s, &c.

[Enter TRIP whispers CHARLES]

SECOND GENTLEMAN. Bravo Careless--Ther's Toast and Sentiment too.

FIRST GENTLEMAN. E' faith there's infinite charity in that song.----

CHARLES. Gentlemen, you must excuse me a little.--Careless, take the Chair, will you?

CARELESS. Nay prithee, Charles--what now--this is one of your Peerless Beauties I suppose--has dropped in by chance?

CHARLES. No--Faith--to tell you the Truth 'tis a Jew and a Broker who are come by appointment.

CARELESS. O dam it let's have the Jew in.