Savva and the Life of Man Part 55

_[Enter Relatives, six in number. An elderly woman, uncommonly stout, with a double chin and small, proud eyes and an air of extreme haughtiness and self-importance. An elderly man, her husband, very tall and uncommonly thin, so that his coat hangs loosely on his body; a short goatee, long, smooth hair, as if wet, reaching to his shoulders; eye-gla.s.ses; has a frightened; yet pedantic expression; a low black silk hat in his hand. A young girl, their daughter, with navely upturned nose, blinking eyes, and open mouth. A weazened woman, with contracted features and a sour expression, in her hand a handkerchief, with which she frequently wipes her mouth; Two young men, looking absolutely alike, with extremely high collars that stretch their necks; glossy hair; a hesitating, embarra.s.sed expression. The characteristics of each of the Relatives is exaggerated in the extreme._

ELDERLY LADY

Let me congratulate you on the birth of your son, dear brother.

_(Kisses him)_

ELDERLY MAN

My dear brother, I heartily congratulate you on the birth of your son, to which you have been looking forward so long. _(Kisses him)_

THE REST

We congratulate you, dear uncle, on the birth of your son.

_[They kiss him. Exit the Doctor._

MAN'S FATHER _(greatly moved)_

Thank you! Thank you! You are all very good, very nice, dear people, and I love you very much. I had my doubts beforehand thought that you, dear sister, were a little too much rapt up in yourself and your own worth and importance; and that you, dear brother, were somewhat too pedantic. The rest of you I thought were too cold to me, and came here only for the sake of the dinners. Now I see I was mistaken. I'm very happy. I get a son who resembles me, and then all at once I see myself surrounded by so many good people who love me. _(They kiss)_

GIRL

Uncle dear, what are you going to call your son? I hope you'll give him a lovely, poetic name. So much depends on a man's name.

ELDERLY LADY

I should advise a simple, solid name. Men with nice names are usually frivolous and rarely successful.

ELDERLY MAN

It seems to me, brother, you should name your son after some older relative. Keeping the same names in the family tends to preserve and strengthen the line.

FATHER

Yes, my wife and I have already discussed the subject, but have not been able to reach a decision. You see, there are so many new things to think of when a child comes, so many new problems to solve which never arose before.

ELDERLY LADY

It fills up your life.

ELDERLY MAN

It gives life a beautiful purpose. By properly educating a child, preventing it from making the mistakes which we had to pay for so dearly, and strengthening its mind with our own rich experiences, we produce a better man and advance slowly but surely toward the final goal of existence, which is perfection.

FATHER

You are quite right, brother. When I was little I loved to torture animals. That developed cruelty in me. I won't allow my son to torture animals. Even after I had grown up I often made mistakes in my friends.h.i.+ps and love. I chose friends who were unworthy and women who were faithless. I'll explain to my son--

DOCTOR _(enters and says aloud)_

Your wife is feeling very bad. She wants to see you.

FATHER

Oh, my G.o.d! _(He and the Doctor leave)_

_[The Relatives seat themselves in a semicircle. Solemn silence for a time. Someone in Gray stands motionless in the corner, His stony face turned toward them._

RELATIVES' CONVERSATION

--Do you think, dear, she may die?

--No, I don't think so. She is a very impatient woman and makes too much of her pains. All women bear children and none of them die. I have borne six children.

--But the way she screamed, mamma?

--Yes, her face was purple from screaming. I noticed it.

--Not from screaming, but from laboring. You don't understand about these things. My face got purple too, but I didn't scream.

--Not long ago an acquaintance of mine, the civil engineer's wife, gave birth to a child, and she scarcely made a sound.

--I know. There's no need for my brother to be so upset. One must be firm and take things calmly. And I'm afraid, too, he'll introduce a lot of his fantastic notions in the bringing up of his children and indulge their every whim.

--He's a very weak character. He has little enough money, and yet he lends it to people who don't deserve to be trusted.

--Do you know how much the child's layette cost?

--Don't talk to me of it! It gets on my nerves, my brother's extravagance does. I often quarrel with him because he's so improvident.

--They say a stork brings babies. What sort of a stork is it?

_[The young men burst out laughing._

--Don't talk nonsense. I gave birth to five children right in your presence, and I'm no stork, thank the Lord.

_[The young men burst our laughing again. The Elderly Woman eyes them long and sternly._

--It's only a superst.i.tion. Children are born in an absolutely natural way, firmly established by science. They've moved to new quarters now.

--Who?

--The engineer and his wife. Their old place was chilly and damp. They complained to the landlord several times, but he paid no attention.

--I think it's better to live in a small place that's warm than in a large place that's damp. You are liable to catch your death of cold and rheumatism if you live in a damp house.

--I have a friend, too, who lives in a very damp house. And I too.

Very damp.