Friction. Part 12

She nodded. "He was wonderful, taught me...a lot. We did things that I wasn't always comfortable with, but I figured when you loved someone...well, you tried to make them happy. And I enjoyed it, mostly."

She shook her head ruefully. "My mother found birth control pills in my medicine cabinet when my parents came for the weekend, and nearly had a heart attack. They wanted me to come home immediately, but I explained to her that Guy and I were in love, and had talked about getting married. We hadn't, actually, but I figured it was a logical next step. I wouldn't have done what I did if I thought otherwise. Not back then."

He hated the chill in her voice, the regret and the pain, and stepped closer, wrapping his arms around her, wanting to warm her, but she gently disengaged herself. Her eyes thanked him, but she kept herself separate while she continued her story.

"To make the story short, the news broke just after they left that week. I was studying for midterms, had my head in my books so deeply I didn't even know what had happened, why people looked at me the way they did when I walked outside, down the hall. I didn't find out until I'd gotten back that night from the library, and saw the college newspaper, heard it from friends."

Logan feared he knew what was coming next, and he felt sick.

"Turned out Guy had been caught running one of the largest college p.o.r.n circuits in the U.S. It was a sort of game, an underground business run by chapters of various frats. They dated girls, took them back to their rooms, took pictures, hidden video, all kinds of things. Sometimes the victims were drugged, sometimes it was more like what happened with us. He had pictures of everything we did." She turned away, her voice too calm.

Logan's hands clenched with repressed rage. He wanted to kill this guy, even though it was probably ten years ago, but he couldn't stand hearing this. However, hearing it was not the same as living it, as Sarah had had to do. So he listened and waited. As much as he wanted to go to her, to hold her, he let her finish.

"They closed down the ring and the frat was under federal investigation. Guy was arrested and kicked out of school. All good things."

"He deserved much worse."

She nodded. "But in the process of the investigation, many of the photos were made public-a lot were already out there, floating around, as were the names of the coeds in them. The case was on the national news for several days, since it spanned colleges in several states. My pictures and my name showed up a few times. I was asked to testify, and I did. It just made it all the more public."

"Your family found out."

"Yes." She laughed a short, humorless laugh. "Everyone saw. But my family was crushed. They were so disappointed, so ashamed."

Logan could hardly believe his ears. "Why? Because you were used? Taken advantage of by that-"

"It was my fault. I let him do it, I was arrogant, going off on my own, not listening to them. Living in sin, having s.e.x outside of marriage. In their eyes, I got what I deserved."

"You were a kid! They were your family. They should have been there for you."

"That's the theory. It doesn't work that way all the time. They prayed for me, so they said, but being together was impossible. I tried going home, tried to explain, to make it right, but saw nothing but shame in their eyes. Except for my grandfather. He understood. He stood with me against them."

"Good for him. What happened then?"

She shrugged. "I left school. All the counseling and political correctness in the world wouldn't stop the fact that people had seen those pictures, and it was the first thing they thought of when they looked at me. I had no social life-I mean, believe me, guys were interested after what they saw, but-"

He felt like a pig just being male, listening to what she'd been through. And it made him even more resolved to find out what had happened to Mel, to the other women who had been similarly humiliated.

"You went to Brooklyn?"

"Yeah. I'd always liked it there, and it was where Pops lived. He saved my life, I swear. He was the only one I had for a long time, the only one I could trust, and then when he pa.s.sed..." She seemed to lose her breath for that moment, unable to continue, her back rigid and her head bent.

"You've done well for yourself. You've moved past it."

She turned then, her sad gaze catching his. "You never really get past it. That's why, on the beach that night, I couldn't, I wasn't able to-"

"That's understandable, Sarah. You were violated in a terrible way. It would be hard to trust."

She continued, not taking her eyes off him. "I tried dating a few times, but if a guy touched me, I just froze. I hated it. I wanted it out of my head, to be normal. I went so far as to force myself to go along a few times, even when it felt bad, and that was even worse, for them and me. The images from the tapes, the sounds, the feelings of being used, haunted me."

"Jesus, Sarah. No wonder you're gun-shy about s.e.x. Who wouldn't be?"

"I can't shake the fear that the guy I'm with secretly knows about the pictures, or will throw them up in my face. Then, with my work, looking at so much...of that." Her hand drifted out, her eyes falling back on the pictures on the bed. "My s.e.x drive just withered and died. And then there you were. Here you are. And everything is different."

And then she'd found a stash of p.o.r.n in his dresser. Logan closed his eyes, realizing now why she'd looked like she wanted to kill him when he'd walked in the room. And why she'd been frightened-not that she'd admit that, but he could see it in her eyes. She'd thought he might hurt her, and it made him sick. He wanted to make sure she knew, insofar as it was possible, that he'd never hurt her. Never let her be hurt, not by his hand. He looked at her and tilted his face forward, resting his forehead against hers, cupping her shoulders gently.

"I'm glad, Sarah. I want it to be different with me. You can let go with me, I promise. I'll catch you."

She swallowed, tears swimming in her eyes and he pulled her in close, gathering every bit of her tightly against him. She was strong, stronger than anyone should have to be. She was tough and hard because life had made her that way, but he knew she was also soft, warm, vulnerable, and...his. It seemed quick to be thinking this way, but in his heart he knew. It seemed quick to be thinking this way, but in his heart he knew.

He gestured to the pictures on the bed. "None of that has anything to do with us. It's ugly, dirty and demeaning. You and me, how we are together, we're nothing like that. What we have is...good. Clean. Amazing."

She looked at him, her heart in her eyes, and emotions swallowed him whole as she whispered to him, her breath caressing his cheek.

"Show me."

9.

SARAH FELT uncharacteristically light as Logan ran his hands over her-free, unburdened by the thoughts and memories that usually plagued her. The sheer relief of knowing he wasn't what she'd feared, that he was truly one of the good guys, made the blood pound even hotter through her veins. uncharacteristically light as Logan ran his hands over her-free, unburdened by the thoughts and memories that usually plagued her. The sheer relief of knowing he wasn't what she'd feared, that he was truly one of the good guys, made the blood pound even hotter through her veins.

He'd been the only one ever potent enough to erase the images from her mind, chasing away her fears and driving her so blind with pa.s.sion that she couldn't pay attention to anything but him. And now there was more than that. Now she knew she could trust herself with him, that he would take care of her. That when he looked at her-when he made love to her-he saw something good, clean and amazing.

She felt the goose b.u.mps p.r.i.c.kle over her skin, left in a wake behind the heat of his touch. Every nerve ending was on high alert, and she gasped when he bent his head, suckling her earlobe and then dropping his mouth to her breast, closing his lips over her soft flesh. Pulling her down gently, he set them both on their knees as he continued to wors.h.i.+p her body in the most thorough, reverent way possible. She was shaking all over before long and had to plant her hands on his shoulders to stay upright.

When he lowered her back to the soft carpet and pushed the robe away until she was flushed and naked, she looked up at him, waiting. She'd never felt more cherished.

He was taut everywhere, his body straining toward her like an overstretched wire, but his eyes and his hands were gentle and slow. She arched when he slid over her, planting a hard thigh against her damp s.e.x. He took her mouth in a plundering kiss, rubbing against her until she wanted to lock herself around him and ride him until she exploded.

But before she could, he moved away. Crouching, he reached out, lending her his hand. She took it as he pulled her upright, flush against him, kissing her breathless. She started to touch him, to do the things she knew excited him, but he caught her hands, folding them in his and bringing them up to his lips.

"Just let me love you, Sarah. Just let me make you feel good."

Her breath caught and she had no idea how to respond, what to do. What did he expect? Didn't he want her to touch him, too?

Tension started to pinch her neck, but before it could take hold, his hands were there, rubbing it away as he littered kisses all over her back and dragged his tongue up the length of her spine to the base of her neck, the tingling sensation making her shudder. He worked his way up and down every inch of her body, leaving no expanse of skin untouched, no shadowy crevice unexplored.

"Come here." His voice was low in her ear as he guided her toward a large divan by the window. He turned the light out, switching on a small dim lamp by the bed, bathing the room in muted golds. The window had been left slightly open and a cool ocean breeze wafted through it, making her s.h.i.+ver, the tight points of her nipples sharpening almost painfully.

"Logan..."

"Just relax, Sarah. Can you do that for me?"

She met his molten glance and was honest. "I don't know."

He took her by the shoulders, gently turning her over, returning his attention to her back.

"Close your eyes. Just feel what I'm doing to you. Don't think about anything else."

She was spread across the wide divan, her shoulders resting against the plump pillows that provided cus.h.i.+on next to the wall. Her skin was hot against the cool, soft upholstery, and she moaned when he slid his fingers between her legs, soaking them in the wetness he discovered there, and slicked it backward, ma.s.saging her in a way that had her fighting the urge to grind back against him.

"You're so beautiful, so strong...I love touching you like this...."

His mouth followed the wet path his fingers had drawn, and she cried out as he looped his arm under her belly and pulled her up, helping her balance as he separated her thighs farther then plunged his eager, hot tongue inside of her.

His large hands planted themselves on her bottom, holding her up and apart as he feasted on her, ma.s.saging her entrance with his mouth until she shook uncontrollably, her fingers digging into the satiny pillows as she rode out a shattering release. His hands were everywhere-on her legs, her c.l.i.t, her stomach-the hot touches pushed the rolling waves of her o.r.g.a.s.m to every point of her body, and she wasn't sure she could take much more. Her body, having lived too long with its needs ignored, was sure making up for lost time.

"Oh, please, Logan..." She panted, spent, whimpering when she felt him s.h.i.+ft up behind her, his long, thick erection rubbing against her hip. She thought she couldn't take any more, but before she could say so he was inside her, filling her to the hilt. Reaching forward to grasp her b.r.e.a.s.t.s in both hands, he s.h.i.+fted her upright against him like a rag doll, thrusting inside her while he whispered sweet, hot things into the back of her neck.

It shouldn't have been possible, she was drained, exhausted, but the pleasure began to coil again and she braced one hand on the wall while curling the other back around his neck, drawing him in for a deep kiss, moving with him, tapping energy from some unknown depth.

At the last moment, when the sensation was too much, they opened their eyes, staring deeply into each other as they came, their sounds of pleasure intermingling as they pumped the last vestiges of pleasure from their bodies. Gazes still locked, they fell together into the cus.h.i.+ons on the divan. She thought, somewhere in the back of her l.u.s.t-saturated brain, that he had, as he'd promised, caught her.

"I SENT YOU SENT YOU on a d.a.m.ned vacation and you landed yourself in the middle of this?" on a d.a.m.ned vacation and you landed yourself in the middle of this?"

"It kinda fell into my lap, Ian. I swear. I wasn't working. It just...happened."

Ian sighed heavily on the phone, and she waited for the inevitable. She knew he'd react this way, but she also knew he wouldn't ask her to ignore what she'd discovered, or what Logan had told her.

"It's surprising what manages to 'just happen' to some people. So he has hard evidence?"

"He says."

"You haven't seen it?" Ian seemed a little distracted, and Sarah frowned, messing with the phone cord.

"We, uh, got sidetracked. But I'm heading down to his room now, and once I know more, we can figure out how to handle it."

"I'll wait to hear from you. And Sarah..."

"Huh?"

"Depending on what happens here, I still expect you to take some downtime when this is over."

"Yeah, uh, sure."

"I mean it."

"Yes, I know." She sighed, but before he hung up, she grabbed his attention once more. "Ian. Keep this close, okay? He's a good guy, and he's acting against orders, but, well. You know."

"I'll do what I can."

"Thanks. Hey, and congratulations. You know, on Sage. And the bun in the oven."

"How'd you know...? Never mind. Thanks, Sarah. Call me when you know more."

Sarah murmured a goodbye and hung up the phone, looking around to make sure she was alone. The inn was quiet; everyone had left for the morning. She peered up the stairs. She'd slept in Logan's room, slipping away quietly before he'd awakened to make her call to Ian.

She was glad she'd told Logan everything. They had something between them, something special, and she wanted the air clear between them. Telling him about what had happened to her, about Guy, had felt right, and had helped convince him why it was important for her to help.

She had feelings-more than tugs and s.h.i.+vers-real, punch-in-the-gut feelings that were growing for this guy. It may have clinched it that he was risking so much to help not only his partner, but the other women he didn't even know.

Sarah knew he'd also reached inside her and given her back a part of her life that she'd a.s.sumed had gone dead. She liked having it back. Suddenly, life wasn't just about work anymore. She was feeling things she'd never even known about, far beyond s.e.x. And that was great, too.

For the moment, though, those feelings had to be set aside. She knew Logan had doubts, regarded her as a rookie and a desk jockey, but he'd find out differently. Together they'd solve the case, and then, well, they'd deal with what came later.

But for the first time in a while, she was thinking there was a future with a man in it, with the potential for so many things she'd thought she'd left behind for good. It was just wild.

Heading up the stairs, she hoped he wouldn't mind getting breakfast elsewhere and bringing whatever evidence he'd acc.u.mulated so they could go over it together. It was probably better if they discussed this outside of the inn. She tried the door, but found it locked, and rapped her knuckles softly against the wood.

No answer.

Frowning, she knocked again, and nearly jumped out of her skin when two arms slid around her from behind, laughing when she recognized the touch of those hands on her midsection.

"Morning, gorgeous."

"Morning. Where have you been?"

"I'd left a few things in your room-just retrieving them."

"Oh. Well, good. Since you're dressed, I thought we could go get breakfast downtown, and maybe talk about the case."

He moved past her, pausing for a second before he slid the key into the lock, and entered the room. Sarah followed, smiling at the sight of the pillows from the divan strewn all over the floor.

"Breakfast sounds good, but I don't think there's much more to discuss about the case. I told you everything last night."

"Just the bare bones. I have to see what evidence you've collected, and we can talk with Ian and E.J., come up with a plan-"

"Sarah," he cut her off, "I have a plan. I told you last night, there is no 'we' on this-I'll handle it. I don't want you involved."

Backing up, she took a breath. Clearly, they were experiencing a miscommunication of some sort, and she kept her voice calm. If they just launched into an argument, neither one of them would benefit. They were fighting the same enemy, they both wanted the same thing, to put these sc.u.m away.

"Logan, I told you last night why I am involved in this. For one thing, it's my job, and my jurisdiction. Second, I explained to you what happened to me, why it's important for me to help. And third, because I..." She lost her words for a second, looking into his eyes, searching for something that would encourage her to share her emotions with him. She did find warmth there-guarded by caution-and forged ahead. "I care about you. I want to help for a lot of reasons, but that's a big one."

He came toward her, wrapping her in his strong arms, squeezing tightly, then tenderly framed her face with his hands.

"I care about you, too. What's happening between us is obviously more than a fling, and that's why I have to say no. There's no way I am going to put you at risk. I've already lost too many people who are important to me."

"This isn't the same thing at all. Your family suffered because of an accident. This is my job. Believe me, I'll be fine. We'll both be safer and more effective working together with the department behind us."

"This may be your job, Sarah, normally, but not this time. And jurisdiction doesn't mean squat in this case. I'm not bringing you with me, and that's that."