Social Life Part 72

In writing a social letter the address is omitted or added at close of the letter. A gentleman in private or professional life would be addressed as:

FREDERIC GUY, Esq. DEAR SIR: (or, SIR:)

Or,

HON. FREDERIC GUY. DEAR SIR: (or, SIR:)

Respectfully yours, JOHN GRACELAND.

The use of t.i.tles will be explained farther on, but here it may be said that two t.i.tles are very seldom given to the same individual at once. For instance, never write Mr. Fred. Guy, Esq., nor Hon. Mr.

Fred. Guy. There are some exceptions to this rule, as where the Rev.

Mr. Churchill and the Hon. Mr. Brice are addressed under circ.u.mstances where their Christian name is unknown, and where a married lady makes use of her husband's t.i.tle, as: Mrs. Capt. Jones; Mrs. Judge Snyder, and where the Rev. Prof. Dr. Kemp shows by his t.i.tles the weight of his learning. Never deny an individual the t.i.tles that are rightfully his. They show that he has fought and conquered men, or books, to win them, and they are the well-earned meed of his endeavor. But never, if you have t.i.tles, be guilty of bestowing them on yourself; leave that for others.

A gentleman writing to a married lady would address her in friendly correspondence as, "Dear Mrs. French," or, "My dear Mrs. French." To an unmarried lady, "Dear Miss French," or "My dear Miss French." A lady addresses a gentleman in the same fas.h.i.+on, as "Dear Mr.

Courtney," or "My dear Mr. Courtney," or "Dear Dr. Courtney."

The Proper Salutation.

Nearer degrees of intimacy, of course, formulate their own laws in this regard, but even here, be it said, that discretion may be exercised to advantage. It will also be observed that if the word "dear," or any like term, begins the salutation it is capitalized; otherwise, not. Thus: "My dear Friend;" not "My Dear Friend."

Authorities on etiquette differ somewhat on this score, different works in the author's possession taking exactly opposite sides, the weight of evidence, however, falling on the form given here.

The complimentary conclusion, "Yours truly," "Very truly yours," "Very respectfully," etc., should begin about the middle of the page on the next line below the body of the letter. The first word only should be capitalized, and the expression followed by a comma. The signature should come on the line below and end at the right-hand margin of the page. The address also is sometimes, especially in social notes given at the conclusion, where it should begin, one or two lines below the signature, at the left-hand margin of the page, occupying two or more lines, according to its length, as:

DEAR MISS LOTHROP:

In reply to your kind note, I would say, etc.

Cordially yours,

MARION KENT.

2 Arcade Court, Chicago, Ill., October 5, 189-.

Another very formal style would be:

21 DELAWARE PLACE, BUFFALO, N.Y., June 1, 189-.

DEAR MISS LOTHROP: In reply to your kind note, etc.

Truly yours,

GEORGE HARLAND.

To MISS JULIA LOTHROP, 110 Beacon Street, Boston, Ma.s.s.

The conclusion of a letter gives the writer fully as much lat.i.tude of style as the salutation. Some graceful little phrase should follow the subject-matter of the letter and lead up to the conclusion, thus:

I am, with love to the family, and remembrances to all my friends,

Yours cordially,

MARY ROE.

Salutation and conclusion should always correspond in formality or friendliness with one another, thus: MR. JOHN BRIGHT. SIR: would appropriately conclude with: I am, sir, Respectfully yours, FRANK B.

FOLSOM.

A friendly letter beginning: DEAR BRIGHT: or, MY DEAR BRIGHT: would terminate thus: Cordially yours, FRANK B. FOLSOM.

Other forms for closing business letters are: I am, respectfully, JAMES ROSS. Or, Respectfully, JAMES ROSS.

These forms do away with the personal p.r.o.noun "Yours," which, although custom has in reality rendered it a pure formality, still retains a certain meaning in the minds of some, as the man, who, in a long correspondence with his wife-that-was-to-be, never signed a letter otherwise than "Truly yours." "What more could I be," he queried, "than hers truly, body and soul?" and with this feeling could their married life have been other than it was, beautiful to look upon?

Never abbreviate the conclusion to "Yours, etc.;" it has too much the careless, thankless sound of "Thanks," and neither can be sufficiently condemned.

Letters beginning, MY DEAR MARGARET: or, MY DEAR DAUGHTER: might end, respectively: Ever yours, or, Your friend, JANE BROWN. And, Your affectionate mother, GERTRUDE MASON.

A gentleman, writing to a lady, could say: Very sincerely (or respectfully) yours, P.H. GOULD. Or, Yours, with sincere regard, HENRY GRAYSON.

The address need not be added unless the acquaintance is very slight.

At times a more elaborate closing is desirable and graceful, as when the correspondent is very much higher in station, or older in years, or you have been the recipient of some great favor at his or her hands:

I am, dear madam, with the most profound esteem,

Yours sincerely, JAMES TALBOT.

Or, to a gentleman, under like circ.u.mstances:

I have the honor to be, sir, Yours most respectfully, JAMES TALBOT.

Such closings as "Obedient, humble servant," are quite too much for Republican simplicity, and even in writing to no less a dignitary than the President:

To THE PRESIDENT,

SIR:

Very respectfully,

JAMES TALBOT,

really fulfills all requirements, though one may consult his own taste in making use of the two complimentary conclusions given above.

A lady in writing to a stranger should always suggest whether she is married or single. This will prevent mistakes and annoyance, and can be done in two ways: Respectfully, (MISS) FRANCES CLAYTON. Or, more elaborately: Respectfully, FRANCES CLAYTON. Address, MISS FRANCES CLAYTON, 21 St. Caroline's Court, Chicago.

A lady never signs herself as Mrs. Helen B. Hayes, or Miss Gertrude Vance, without, at least, putting the t.i.tles in a parenthesis.

Primarily, a woman is Helen Hayes or Gertrude Vance, and should sign herself as such. The "Miss" or "Mrs." signifies simply an incident in her existence, and is added, as it were, in a note, to prevent mistake on the part of others. A failure to observe this rule indicates a lack of culture. Neither does a gentleman ever sign himself Mr. Brown, but George G. Brown, or G.G. Brown.

Use of the Husband's Name.