Social Life Part 70

General Hints.

A silk hat should only be worn on appropriate occasions. Worn with a rough business suit, or on a picnic or mountain ramble, it is in the worst possible taste. It should appear only with frock coats, dress coats and a fine quality of cloth.

Felt or straw hats should be worn with short coats or business suits.

The mourning weed, conventionally speaking, is worn only on a silk hat; but there is no good reason why those who wish to wear mourning for lost friends should always be in dress of ceremony so to do.

Diamonds should not be worn during business hours by men who are obliged to stand behind counters or engage in any toil.

Business suits should never be worn to an evening party in the city, though in small country gatherings they might be permissible.

Even various styles of outing suits are allowable in some of the informal gatherings at summer resorts.

"Nice customs courtesy to great kings," or to occasions.

Evening Suit for Boys.

This is black cloth with the rough surface that is seen in the material used for grown-up, evening clothes. His trousers are the proper width and show a slight but not too p.r.o.nounced crease. His waistcoat is cut low, and over it he wears an Eton jacket of black cloth that is accentuated by the deep white linen collar which turns over it, and which is attached, like his cuffs, to his immaculate white s.h.i.+rt.

He scorns all jewelry but a little watch and the white enamel b.u.t.tons that are in his s.h.i.+rt. His silk hat has a lower and a somewhat broader crown than that made for an older gentleman.

A suit like this is worn by a boy from the time he is twelve until he is eighteen, and then he is supposed to a.s.sume the regulation evening dress worn by men.

_Letter Writing._

[Ill.u.s.tration]

"Letters are the memory of friends.h.i.+p," and are to be reckoned among the chief links in the social chain that binds parent and child, lover and sweetheart, friend and friend, in harmonious accord.

A letter may, from a business point of view, make or mar the fortunes of its sender, while none the less surely, from a social standard, will our epistles approve or condemn our claim for consideration.

Every position in life, and every occasion which may arise therein, demand more or less exercise of our epistolary powers, and while but few can hope for the grace, the wit, the repartee that sparkle in the missives of a de Stael, a Recamier, a Walpole, a Macaulay, every one can and should learn to write a clear, concise, intelligent, appropriate letter.

A Rare Accomplishment.

To do this properly is a social accomplishment, and one of the greatest boons that education confers. A graceful note, a kindly, sparkling letter, are each the exponent of a true lady or gentleman, though it must be confessed, since our country furnishes no so-called "leisure cla.s.s," the art of letter-writing has, in great measure, fallen into feminine hands, the cares of business and professional life ofttimes preventing the sterner half of creation from mere friendly exercise of the pen. It is among women, therefore, that we will find in the present, as we have found in the past, the best and most fluent of correspondents.

A certain dread of letter-writing, however, seems to haunt a large cla.s.s of people. This dread, arising either from imperfect education, a lack of practice or a fear of "nothing to say," can be overcome in great measure by careful study of the few main requisites of the art, as embraced in style, orthography, forms to be adopted and stationery to be used for certain occasions.

The Style,

of course, is a subtle something inherent in each individual, not to be entirely done away with in any case, but to be improved by a careful study of good models, such, for example, as the letters of the above mentioned authors. To read the best prose writers also cannot fail to work an improvement. For instance, the writer once, after an enthusiastic study of Taine, was rewarded by the a.s.surance from a literary correspondent that her letters were thoroughly "Tainesque" in style.

By judicious reading and carefully taking thought, an abrupt style may be softened and more graceful, flowing sentences subst.i.tuted for its short, sharp phrases; while a redundant style, by the same care, may be pruned of its exuberance.

The chief charm of a letter consists in it being written naturally and as one would talk. "We should write as we speak, and that's a true familiar letter which expresseth a man's mind as if he were discoursing with the party to whom he writes," says Howell, and, ancient as the words are, no better advice can be given to-day.

Write easily, and never simply for effect; this gives a constrained, stilted style that will soon cool the correspondence. Let your thoughts flow as they would were you conversing with your friend, but do not gossip; give friendly intelligence only when certain of its truth. This will not seem too much when it is remembered how written words sometimes rise up in judgment against their authors when the spoken words would long since have been forgotten. A lapse of time will brush the bloom from our sentences and nothing can bring back again the tender grace that transfigured the over-sweetness of some little written sentiment, or redeem it from the realm of the bombastic in our eyes to-day. Then "let your communications be, not exactly 'yea and nay,' but do let them be such that you would not fear to hear them read aloud before you, for more than this 'cometh of evil.'"

[Ill.u.s.tration: "THESE ARE MY KEEPSAKES."]

Grammar and Orthography.

These should receive most careful attention. "A great author is one,"

according to Taine, "who, having pa.s.sions, knows also his dictionary and grammar." And a good letter-writer, as well, must "know his dictionary and grammar" to render his missives presentable.

Grammatical errors are almost unpardonable, and a misspelled word is an actual crime in these days of dictionaries. Punctuation and capitalization, too, must be looked after, and the whole letter give evidence of thought and care on the writer's part.

Handwriting, Paper and Ink

are all of importance, and etiquette has prescribed certain formulas for these adjuncts of a good letter, that, however the vagaries of fas.h.i.+on may invade the outer borders of the realm epistolary, are always correct and in good style.

The paper in best taste is thick, white or creamy-tinted, unruled and of such a size as to fold once for fitting square-shaped envelopes, creamy-white like the paper. Never use envelopes so thin in quality as to permit the writing to be seen through from the outside. The square envelope is not a necessity; the slightly oblong is also used, the paper being folded twice to fit this size.

This paper would be suitable and in perfect style in any portion of the civilized world, and on any occasion, and no one with any pretensions to good breeding should be found unsupplied. This is an item in which we cannot afford to economize, for one judges a lady or gentleman, unconsciously, by the contents of his or her writing desk, as exemplified by the letters sent from their hands.

Monograms are not entirely "out," but they are only used by those to whom their own especial design, through long use, has come to seem almost a part of themselves. All fleeting fancies in stationery should be pa.s.sed by on the other side, or, at most, left to the wayward tastes of "sweet sixteen," or to some few whose very eccentricities are part of their fame. Sarah Bernhardt, for instance, uses blue paper framed in a pale gray line on the top of the page, and the flap of the envelope is a tragic mark, above which her initials are traversed by a scroll bearing her motto, "_Quand meme_." She is as exact, however, in the formulas of her letters as any dowager of the old school. The Royal Highnesses of England use the paper and square envelopes before described; initials, monograms and crests are left to foreigners and outsiders, and the Orleans family, of France, are severely plain in their choice of stationery.

[Ill.u.s.tration: INCORRECT MODE OF HOLDING THE PEN.]

[Ill.u.s.tration: PROPER MODE OF HOLDING THE PEN.]

[Ill.u.s.tration: CORRECT POSITION OF THE HAND.]

Given the correct paper and envelopes and plain, jet-black ink (no other tint should ever be used), the penmans.h.i.+p must next be considered. It is very well for Madame Bernhardt to write an elegant, graceful hand that is absolutely impossible to decipher, and for General Bourbaki to indite his epistles in a microscopically minute script, but less important people will do well to render their chirography as perfect and legible as possible, and not to flourish.

Avoid always too near an approach to the clerkly, commercial hand. A talented foreigner once remarked to the writer upon his astonishment at the predominance of this hand in America. "I do not like it," he said; "the clerk sends me in my rates, the landlord my bill, and the young lady her reply to my invitation, all in that same commercial hand. There is no individuality, no character, in such writing." And there was too much reason in his remonstrance. We are not quite "a nation of shopkeepers," and there is no reason why this business handwriting should so permeate all cla.s.ses of society.

The lines should be straight, and as ruled paper is not permissible in formal notes, invitations or punctilious correspondence, savoring too nearly of the school-room and the counting-house, some little practice may be necessary to keep the lines even. Should this prove impossible, let a sheet of paper with heavily ruled black lines that will show through the writing paper, be kept in the desk and slipped beneath the page as a guide. It may also be inserted in the envelope to keep the superscription or address perfectly straight.

The lines should be rather far apart, and the fas.h.i.+onable hand just now is not the pointed English style, but somewhat verging on the large, round hand of the last century; the ladies, as a rule, indulging in a rather masculine style.

[Ill.u.s.tration: PROPER POSITION OF A LADY IN WRITING.]

Thin foreign note paper may be used for letters abroad, unless the most formal. This is usually ruled. So is the commercial note used for business letters.

These forms answer for ladies and gentlemen alike. There is no particular objection to gentlemen using in their informal friendly letters, business note with printed letter head, but for ceremonious occasions they must be bound by the foregoing forms.

Very faintly perfumed paper is the prerogative of the ladies.