Social Life Part 52

CHICAGO, July 12 189-.

DEAR MR. AMES:

In the death of your brother, you have sustained a misfortune which all who had the pleasure of knowing him can feelingly estimate. I condole with you most sincerely on the sad event, and if the sympathy of friends can be any consolation under the trying circ.u.mstance, be a.s.sured that all who knew him share in your sorrow for his loss. There is, however, a higher source of consolation than earthly friends.h.i.+p, and, commending you to that, I remain,

Yours sincerely,

JEROME C. HOOVER.

G.H. AMES, St. Louis.

To a Friend on the Death of Her Child.

ATLANTA, Ga., November 17, 189-.

MY DEAR BLANCHE:

I feel that a mother's sorrow for the loss of a beloved child cannot be a.s.suaged by the commonplaces of condolence, yet I must write a few lines to a.s.sure you of my heartfelt sympathy in your grief. There is one thing, however, that should soften the sharpness of a mother's agony under such a bereavement. It is the reflection that "little children" are pure and guileless, and that of such is the kingdom of heaven. "It is well with the child." Much sin and woe has it escaped. It is treasure laid up in a better world, and the gate through which it has pa.s.sed to peace and joy unspeakable is left open so that you, in due time, may follow. Let this be your consolation.

Affectionately yours,

MAUD TROWBRIDGE.

To MRS. BLANCHE NORTON, New Haven, Conn.

To a Friend on a Sudden Reverse of Fortune.

LOUISVILLE, Ky., June 5, 189-.

MY DEAR FRIEND:

Hackneyed phrases of condolence never yet comforted a man in the hour of trouble, and I am not going to try their effect in your case. And yet let me say, in heartfelt earnest, that I was deeply pained to hear of your sudden and unexpected reverse of fortune. Misfortune is very hard to bear, when it falls upon one, like a flash of lightning from a clear sky, without any warning. But do not be discouraged. When Senator Benton saw the work of many years consumed in ten minutes, he took the matter coolly, went to work again, and lived long enough to repair the damage. So I hope will you. There is no motto like "try again," for those whom fate has stricken down. Besides, there are better things than wealth even in this world, to say nothing of the next, where we shall neither buy nor sell.

If I can be of any a.s.sistance to you, let me know it, and I will help you as far as I am able.

In the meantime, cheer up, and believe me as ever,

Yours sincerely,

JAMES STERLING.

H.R. DRAYTON, Covington, Ky.

[Ill.u.s.tration: "SHE ENTERED ON UNTROUBLED REST."]

ETIQUETTE OF PUBLIC PLACES

[Ill.u.s.tration]

There is no surer mark of a well-bred man or woman than proper and dignified conduct in public. The truly polite are always quiet, un.o.btrusive, considerate of others, and careful to avoid all manifestations of superiority or elegance.

Loud and boisterous talking, immoderate laughing and forward and pus.h.i.+ng conduct are always marks of bad breeding. They inevitably subject a person to the satirical remarks of the persons with whom he is thrown, and are perhaps the surest means of proclaiming that such a person is not used to the ways of polite society.

Etiquette in Church.

It is the duty of a well-bred person to attend church regularly on Sunday.

In entering the church you should pa.s.s quietly and deliberately to your pew or seat. Walking rapidly up the aisle is sure to disturb the congregation.

If you are a stranger, wait in the lower part of the aisle until the s.e.xton or ushers show you a seat, or you are invited to enter some pew.

A gentleman should remove his hat as soon as he enters the inner doors of the church, and should not replace it on his head after service until he has reached the outer vestibule.

In accompanying a lady to church, pa.s.s up the aisle by her side, open the pew door for her, allow her to enter first, and then enter and seat yourself beside her.

Should a lady desire to enter a pew in which you are sitting next the door, rise, step out into the aisle, and allow her to enter.

Once in church, observe the most respectful silence except when joining in the wors.h.i.+p. Whispering or laughing before the service begins, or during service, is highly improper. When the wors.h.i.+p is over, leave the sacred edifice quietly and deliberately. You may chat with your friends in the vestibule, but not in the hall of wors.h.i.+p.

Remember, the church is the house of G.o.d.

Should you see a stranger standing in the aisle, unnoticed by the s.e.xton or usher, quietly invite him into your pew.

You should see that a stranger in your pew is provided with the books necessary to enable him to join in the service. If he does not know how to use them, a.s.sist him as quietly as possible. Where there are not books enough for the separate use of each person, you may share yours with an occupant of your pew.

In attending a church of a different denomination from your own you should carefully observe the outward forms of wors.h.i.+p. Stand up when the congregation do, and kneel with them. A Protestant attending a Roman Catholic church should be careful to do this. It involves no sacrifice of principle, and a failure to do so is a mark of bad breeding. Whatever the denomination, the church is devoted to the wors.h.i.+p of G.o.d. Your reverence is to Him--not to the ministers who conduct the wors.h.i.+p.

To be late at church is an offence against good manners.

Gentlemen will not congregate in groups in front of a church, and stare at the ladies as they pa.s.s out.

In receiving the Holy Communion both hands should be ungloved.

Etiquette of Fairs.

Fairs are generally given in aid of a church or some charitable purpose. At such fairs ladies serve the tables at which articles are offered for sale.

Ladies should not use unfair or unladylike means to sell their wares.

Do not importune a gentleman to buy of you; and do not charge an extortionate price for a trifling article. A young man may not have the courage to refuse to buy of a lady acquaintance; but his purchase may be beyond his means, and may involve him in serious embarra.s.sment.

Visitors to a fair should make no comments upon the character or quality of the articles offered, unless they can offer sincere praise.