The English Spy Part 48

Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share In all the famous projects that amuse John Bull; Run, take a peep on 'Change, for anxious crowds beset us there, Each trying which can make himself the greatest gull.

No sooner are they puff'd, than a universal wish there is For shares in mines, insurances in foreign loans and fisheries.

~121~~

No matter where the project lies, so violent the mania, In Africa, New Providence, Peru, or Pennsylvania!

Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.

Few folks for news very anxious at this crisis are, For marriages, and deaths, and births, no thirst exists; All take the papers in, to find out what the prices are Of shares in this or that, upon the broker's lists.

The doctor leaves his patient--the pedagogue his Lexicon, For mines of Real Monte, or for those of Anglo-Mexican: E'en Chili bonds don't cool the rage, nor those still more romantic, sir, For new ca.n.a.ls to join the seas, Pacific and Atlantic, sir.

Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.

At home we have projects too for draining surplus capital, And honest Master Johnny of his cash to chouse; Though t'other day, Judge Abbott gave a rather sharpish slap at all.

And Eldon launched his thunder from the upper House.

Investment banks to lend a lift to people who are undone-- Proposals for a.s.surance--there's no end of that, in London; And one amongst the number, who in Parliament now press their Bills, For lending cash at eight per cent, on coats and inexpressibles.

Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.

No more with her bright pails the milkman's rosy daughter works, A company must serve you now with milk and cream; Perhaps they've some connexion with the advertising water-works, That promise to supply you from the limpid stream.

Another body corporate would fain some pence and s.h.i.+llings get, By selling fish at Hungerford, and knocking up old Billingsgate: Another takes your linen, when it's dirty, to the suds, sir, And brings it home in carriages with four nice bits of blood, sir.

Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.

~122

When Greenwich coaches go by steam on roads of iron railing, sir, How pleasant it will be to see a dozen in a line; And s.h.i.+ps of heavy burden over hills and valleys sailing, sir, Shall cross from Bristol's Channel to the Tweed or Tyne.

And Dame Speculation, if she ever fully hath her ends, Will give us docks at Bermondsey, St. Saviour's, and St. Catherine's; While side long bridges over mud shall fill the folks with wonder, sir, And lamp-light tunnels all day long convey the c.o.c.knies under, sir.

Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.

A tunnel underneath the sea, from Calais straight to Dover, sir, That qualmish folks may cross by land from sh.o.r.e to sh.o.r.e, With sluices made to drown the French, if e'er they would come over, sir, Has long been talk'd of, till at length 'tis thought a monstrous bore.

Amongst the many scheming folks, I take it he's no ninny, sir, Who bargains with the Ashantees to fish the coast of Guinea, sir; For, secretly, 'tis known, that another brilliant view he has, Of lighting up the famous town of Timbuctoo with oil gas.

Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.

Then a company is form'd, though not yet advertising, To build, upon a splendid scale, a large balloon, And send up tools and broken stones for fresh Mac-Adamizing The new discover'd turnpike roads which cross the moon.

But the most inviting scheme of all is one proposed for carrying Large furnaces to melt the ice which hems poor Captain Parry in; They'll then have steam boats twice a week to all the newly-seen land, And call for goods and pa.s.sengers at Labrador and Greenland!

Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull,

~123~~High 'Change was a subject full of the richest materials for my friend Bob, who, without knowing more of the characters than their exterior appearances of eccentricity and costume exhibited, proceeded to _book_, as he termed it, the leading features. Every now and then there was a rush to different parts of the arena, and an appearance of great anxiety among the crowd to catch the attention of a person who flourished a large parchment above their heads with all the pride and importance of a field marshal's baton. This was, I found, no other than the leading agent of some newly projected company, who took this method of _indulging_ the subscribers with shares, or letting the fortunate applicants know how many of these speculative chances the committee had allowed them to possess. The return of little Princ.i.p.al afforded me a key to the surrounding group, without which their peculiar merits would have been lost to the world, or have remained individually unknown, like the profit of many of the modern speculations. "You must not suppose,"

said Princ.i.p.al, "that great talents make great wealth here, or that honourable conduct and generous feelings command respect--no such thing; men are estimated upon 'Change in proportion to the supposed amount of their property, and rise or fall in the worldly opinion of their a.s.sociates as prosperity or adversity operates upon the barometer of their fortunate speculations; a lucky hit will cause a dolt to be pointed out as a clever fellow, when, the next turn of the market proving unsuccessful, he is despised and insulted: so much are the frequenters of 'Change influenced by the most sordid and mercenary feelings, that almost all of them are the willing dupes of riches and good fortune. However, as you are strangers here, gentlemen, I will introduce you, _entre nous_, to a few of the characters who thrive by the destruction of thousands of their fellow-creatures. The bashaw in black yonder, who rests his elephantic trunk against a pillar of the Exchange, with his hands thrust into his breeches pockets, is the Hebrew star--the Jewish luminary, a very s.h.i.+loh among the peoples of his own persuasion, and, I am sorry to say, much too potent ~124~~with the orthodox ministers of George the Fourth. The fellow's insolence is intolerable, and his vulgarity and ignorance quite unbearable.

He commenced his career in Manchester by vending trinkets and spectacle-cases in the streets of that town, from which station he gradually rose to the important occupation of a dealer in _f.a.g ends_, from which he ascended to the dignity of a bill-broker, when, having the command of money, and some wealthy Hebrew relatives conveniently distributed over the Continent for the transaction of business, he took up his abode in London, and towards the termination of the late war, when a terrible smash took place among some of his tribe, he found means to obtain their confidence, and having secured, by the aid of spies, the earliest foreign intelligence, he rapidly made a colossal fortune in the British funds, without much risk to himself. It is said he can scarcely write his own name, and it only requires a minute's conversation to inform you of the general ignorance of his mind; in short, he is one of Hazlitt's men, with only one idea, but that one entirely directed to the acc.u.mulation of gold. A few years since some of the more respectable members of the Stock Exchange, perceiving the thraldom in which the public funds of the country were held by the tricks and manouvres of the Jew party, determined to make a stand against them: among these was a highly respected member of parliament, a great sporting character, and a very worthy man. His losses proved excessive, but they were promptly paid. In order to weaken his credit, and, if possible, shake his confidence and insult his feelings, the Jew took an opportunity, during High 'Change, of telling him, 'Dat he had got his cote and vaistcote, and he should very soon have his s.h.i.+rt into de bargain:' in this prophecy, however, Mr. Mordecai was mistaken; for the market took a sudden turn, and the gentleman alluded to recovered all his losses in a short time, to the great discomfiture ~125~~of the high priest and the Jews. In private life he is equally abrupt and vulgar, as the following anecdote will prove, at his own table: A christian broker solicited some trifling favour, observing, he had granted what he then requested to another member of the house, who was his brother-in-law. 'Vary true, vary true,' said Solomon Gruff, as he is sometimes called, 'but then you do not shleep vid my s.h.i.+ster, my boy; dat makes all de differance.' At present this fellow's influence is paramount at most of the courts of Europe, at some of which his family enjoy considerable honours; in short, he is the head of the locust tribe, and the leader of that cla.s.s of speculators whom a witty writer has well described in the following lines, addressed to the landholders:

'The National Debt may be esteemed a ma.s.s Of filth which grows corrupter every day; And in this heap, as always comes to pa.s.s, Reptiles and vermin breed, exist, decay.

'Tis now so huge, that he must be an a.s.s Who thinks it ever can be clear'd away: And the time's quickly coming, to be candid, When funded men will swallow up the landed.

'Then will these debt-bred reptiles, hungry vermin, Fed from the ma.s.s corrupt of which I spoke, Usurp your place. A Jew, a dirty German, Who has grown rich by many a lucky stroke, Shall rule the Minister, and all determined To treat your bitter sufferings as a joke.

Said I, he shall! It will be nothing new; The Treasury now is govern'd by a Jew.'

[Ill.u.s.tration: page125]

The tall dandy-looking youth standing near the great man is a scion of the former head of the Hebrew family: his father possessed very superior talents, but was too much attached to splendid society to die rich; his banquets were often graced by royalty, and his liberality and honourable conduct proverbial, until misfortune produced a catastrophe that will not bear ~126~~repeating. The very name of the sire causes a feeling of dislike in the breast of the Colossus, and consequently the son is no partaker in the good things which the great man has to dispose of. The three tall Jews standing together are brothers, and all members of the Stock Exchange; their affinity to the high priest, more than their own talents, renders their fortunes promising. Observe the pale-faced genteel-looking man.on the right hand side of the arena--that is Major G--s, an unsuccessful speculator in the funds, but a highly honourable officer, who threw away the proceeds of his campaigns in the Peninsula among the sharks of the Stock Exchange and the lesser gamblers of St.

James's: he has lately given to the world a sketch of his own life, under the a.s.sumed name of 'Ned Clinton, or the Commissary,' in which he has faithfully narrated scenes and characters. The little, jolly, fresh-coloured gentleman near him is Tommy B--h, a great speculator in the funds, a lottery contractor, and wine merchant, and quite at home in the tea trade. The immense fat gent behind him is called the dinner man and M. C. of Vaux hall, of which place Tommy B--h holds a princ.i.p.al share; his office is to write lyrics for the lottery, and gunpowder puffs for the Genuine Tea Company, paragraphs for Vauxhall, and spirited compositions in praise of spiritless wines: amid all these occupations it is no wonder, considering his bulk, that he invariably falls asleep before the dinner cloth is removed, and snores most mellifluously between each round of the bottle. The sharp-visaged personage to the left of him is the well known Count Bounce---------"--"Excuse me, Mr.

Princ.i.p.al," said I, "but I happen to know that worthy well myself; that is, I believe, Sam Dixon, the _coper_ of Barbican, a jobber in the funds, it would appear, as well as in horses, coaches, and chaises: of the last named article I have had a pretty good specimen from his emporium myself, ~127~~which, I must ever remember, was at the risk of my life.--"Do you observe that stout-looking gentleman yonder with large red whiskers, in a drab surtout, like a stage coachman? that is the Marquis of H-----------, one of the most fortunate gamblers (i.e.

speculators) of the present day: during the war his lords.h.i.+p acquired considerable sums of money by acting on his priority of political information, his policy being to make one of the party in power, without holding office, and by this means be at liberty to act in the money market as circ.u.mstances required: among the _roues_ of the west he has not been less successful in games of chance, until his coffers are crammed with riches; but it must be admitted he is liberal in his expenditure, and often-times generous to applicants, particularly sporting men, who seek his favours and a.s.sistance. The little club of sage personages who are mustered together comparing notes, in the corner of the Dutch Walk, are the paragraph-writers for the morning and evening press; very potent personages here, I a.s.sure you, for without their kind operation the public could never be gulled to any great extent. The most efficient of the group is the elegant-looking tall man who has just moved off to consult his patron, the Hebrew star, who gives all his foreign information exclusively to the Leviathan of the press, of which paper Mr. A-----------r is the representative. Next to him in importance, information, and talent, is the reporter for the Globe and Traveller, G--------s M--------e, a shrewd clever fellow, with considerable tact for business. Mr. F--------y, of the Courier, stands near him on his left; and if he does but little with the stocks, he does that little well. The sandy-haired laddie with the high cheek bones and hawk-like countenance is M'C-----------h, of the Chronicle, but a wee bit of a _wastrell_ in Stock Exchange affairs; and the mild-looking young gentleman who is in ~128~~conversation with him represents the mighty little man of the Morning Herald. The rest of the public prints are mostly supplied with Stock Exchange information by a bandy-legged Jew, a very Solomon in funded wisdom, who pens paragraphs at a penny a line for the papers, and puts into them whatever the projectors dictate, in the shape of a puff, at per agreement. The knot of swarthy-looking athletic fellows, many of whom are finger-linked together, and wear rings in their ears, are American captains, and traders from the sh.o.r.es of the Atlantic. That jolly-looking ruby-faced old gentleman in black, who is laughing at the puritanical tale of his lank brother, Alderman Shaw, is the celebrated grand city admiral, Sir W. Curtis, a genuine John Bull, considered worth a _plum_ at least, and the author of a million of good jokes. Observe that quiet-looking pale-faced gentleman now crossing the arena: from the smartness of his figure and the agility with which he bustles among the crowd, you would suppose him an active young man of about five-and-twenty, while, in fact, about sixty summers have rolled over his head; such are the good effects of temperance, system, and attention to diet. Here he is known by the designation of Mr. Evergreen; a name, perhaps, affixed to him with a double meaning, combining in view the freshness of his age and his known attachment to theatricals, of which pursuits, as a recreation, he is devotedly fond.

As a broker, lottery contractor, and a man of business, Mr. D-----1 stands No. One for prompt.i.tude, probity, and the strictest sense of honour; wealthy without pride, and learned without affectation, his company is eagerly sought for by a large circle of the literati of the day, with whom, from his anecdotal powers, he is in high repute: on stage affairs he is a living 'Biographia Dramatica,' and Charles Mathews, it is said, owes much of his present celebrity to the early advice and persevering friends.h.i.+p of this worthy man. The pair ~120~~of tall good-looking gentlemen on the French Walk are Messrs. J. and H------S***h, merchants in the city, and authors at the west end of the town: here they have recently been designated by the t.i.tle of their last whimsical production, and now figure as Messrs. Gaiety and Gravity, cognomens by no means inapplicable to the temper, feeling, and talent of the witty brothers. But come," said Princ.i.p.al, "the 'Change is now becoming too full to particularize, and as this is _settling_ day at the Stock Exchange, suppose we just walk across to the Alley, take a look at the market, and see how the _account_ stands."--In pa.s.sing down Saint Bartholomew Lane, accident threw in our way the respected chief magistrate of the city, John Garrett, Esq. of whose sire little Princ.i.p.al favoured us with some entertaining anecdotes.--"Old Francis Garrett, who began business in the tea trade without cash, but with great perseverance and good credit, _cut up_ at his death for near four hundred thousand pounds, and left his name in the firm to be retained for seven years after his decease, when his posthumous share of the profits was to be divided among his grand-children. As he generally travelled for orders himself, he was proverbial for despatch; and has been known to call a customer up in the morning at four o'clock to settle his account, or disturb his repose in the night, if old Francis was determined to make a lamp of the moon, and pursue his route. A very humorous story is related of him. Arriving at Benson, near Henley, on a Sunday morning, just as his customer, a Mr. Newberry, had proceeded to Church, old Francis was very importunate to prevail upon the servant-maid to call him out, in order that he might proceed to Oxford that night: after much persuasion she was induced to accompany him to the church, to point out the pew where her master sat. At their entrance the eccentric figure of the tea-broker caused a general movement of recognition among the congregation; but Francis, ~130~~nothing abashed, was proceeding up the aisle with his cash instead of prayer-book in his hand, when his attention was arrested by the clergyman's text, 'Paul we know, and Silas we know, but who art thou?' The singular coincidence of the words, added to the authoritative style of the pastor, quite staggered Francis Garrett, who, however, quickly recovering, made a low bow, and then, in a true business-like style, proceeded to, apologize to the reverend and congregation for this seeming want of respect, adding he was only old Francis Garrett, of Thames-street, the tea broker, whom every body knew, come to settle a small account with his friend Mr.

Newberry. The eccentricity of the man was notorious, and this, perhaps, better than the apology, induced the clergyman to overlook the offence; but the story will long be remembered by the good people of Benson, and never fail to create a laugh in the commercial room among the merry society of gentlemen travellers. The son, who has deservedly risen to the highest civic honours, is a worthy and highly honourable man, whose conduct since he has been elected lord mayor reflects great credit upon his fellow citizens' choice."--We had now mounted the steps which lead to the Stock Exchange, or, as Princ.i.p.al, who, though one among them, may be said not to be one of them, observed, we had arrived at the _wolves'

den_, "the secret arcana of which place, with its curious intricacies and perplexing paradoxical systems and principles, I shall now,"

continued our friend, "endeavour to explain; from which exposition the public will be able to see the monster that is feeding on the vitals of the country, while smiling in its face and tearing at its heart, yet cherished by it, as the Lacedemonian boy cherished the wolf that devoured him. I am an enemy to all monopolies," said Princ.i.p.al, "and this is one of the worst the country is infested with. "A private or exclusive market, that is, a market ~131~~into which the public have not the liberty or privilege of either going to make, or to see made, bargains in their own persons, is one where the most sinister arts are likely to prevail. The Stock Exchange is of this description, and accordingly is one where the public are continually gulled out of their money by a system of the most artful and complicated traffic--a traffic calculated to raise the hopes of novices, to puzzle the wits of out-door speculators, and sure to have the effect of diminis.h.i.+ng the property of those who are not members of the fraternity.{15}

"One of the principles of the Stock Exchange is, that the public a.s.sist against themselves, which is not the less true than paradoxical. It is contrary to the generally-received opinion that stocks should either be greatly elevated or depressed, without some apparent cause: it is contrary to natural inference that they should rise,--not from the public sending in to purchase, or to buy or sell, which however frequently happens. It follows, therefore, that the former is occasioned by the arts of the interested stock-jobbers, and the latter by out-door speculators, who have the market price _banged down_ upon them by those whose business and interest it is to fleece them all they can. In the language of the Stock Exchange, you must be either a _bull or a bear,_ a _buyer or a seller_: now as it is not necessary you should have one s.h.i.+lling of property in the funds to embark in this speculation, but may just as well sell a hundred thousand pounds of stock as one pound, according to the practice of time bargains, which is wagering contrary to law--so neither party can be compelled to complete their agreement, or to pay whatever the difference of the amount may be upon the stock when the account closes: all transactions

15 The mode of exchanging stock in France is in public. A broker stands in the situation of an auctioneer, and offers it to the best bidder.

~132~~are, therefore, upon honour; and whoever declines to pay his loss is posted upon a black board, declared a defaulter, shut out of the a.s.sociation, and called by the community a _lame duck_.

"It is not a little extraordinary, while the legislature and the judges are straining every nerve to suppress low gambling and punish its professors, they are the pa.s.sive observers of a system pregnant with ten times more mischief in its consequences upon society, and infinitely more vicious, fraudulent, and base than any game practised in the h.e.l.ls westward of Temple Bar; but we are too much in the practice of gaping at a gnat and swallowing a camel, or the great subscription-houses, such as White's, Brooke's, and Boodle's, would not have so long remained uninterrupted in this particular, while the small fry that surround them, and which are, by comparison, harmless, are persecuted with the greatest severity. As there is a natural disposition in the human mind for gambling, and as it is visible to all the world that many men (cobblers, carpenters, and other labourers), by becoming stock-jobbers, are suddenly raised from fortunes of a few pounds to hundreds of thousands, therefore every falling shop-keeper or merchant flies to this disinterested seminary with the same hope: but the jobbers, perceiving their transactions interrupted by these persons intruding, in order to keep them at a distance, formed themselves into a body, and established a market composed of themselves, excluding every person not regularly known to the craft.{16} As the brokers found difficulty always to meet with people that would accommodate them either to buy or sell without waiting in the regular

16 An article in their by-laws expresses, that no new member shall be admitted who follows any other trade or business, or in any wise is subject to the bankrupt laws: at the same time it is curious to observe, that most of them are either _soi-disant_ merchants or shopkeepers.

~133~~market in the Bank, to save themselves time they got accommodated among these gamblers in buying or selling as they wished; at the same time they gave the jobber one-eighth per cent, for such accommodation.

As the loss was nothing to the broker, of course this imposition was looked over, because it saved his own time, and did not diminish his own commission.{17} It is clear, therefore, that the Stock Exchange is a self-const.i.tuted body, without any charter, but merely established at the will of the members, to the support of which a subscription is paid by each individual. They are ruled by by-laws, and judged by a committee, chosen from among themselves. This committee, as well as the members, are regularly re-balloted once in every year; of course no person is admitted within the walls of this house who does not regularly pay his subscription.

"In this way has the Stock Market been established and forced from its original situation by a set of jobbers and brokers, who are all, it will be seen, interested in keeping their transactions from the eye of the public. These men being always ready either to buy or sell, renders it easy for the brokers to get their business done, having no trouble but merely stepping into the Stock Exchange. If a broker wants to buy 5000L.

stock, or any other sum, for a princ.i.p.al, the jobber will readily sell it, although perhaps possessing no part of it himself at the time, but will take his chance of other brokers coming to put him in possession of it, and may have to purchase the amount in two or three different transactions,{18} but in doing that he will take care to call the price lower than he sold at.{19}

17 If the system of the private market had tended to lessen the broker's commission, he would have gone or stood any where else to transact business for his princ.i.p.als.

18 This at present only applies to young beginners, but old jobbers, who have enjoyed the system long enough, have been put in pos-session of large fortunes, and are now enabled to buy into or sell out of their own names to the amount of hundreds of thousands.

19 Should other brokers not come into the market to sell to him, he is then obliged, at a certain hour of the day, to go among his brethren to get it at the most suitable price possible. This is sometimes the cause of a momentary rise, and what is known by the jobbers turning out bears for the day. A depression some-times takes place on the same principle when they are bulls for a future day, and cannot take stock.

~134~~After the stock is transferred from the seller to the buyer, instead of the money, he will write you a draft on his banker, although he has no effects to discharge the same till such time as he is put in possession of it also by the broker whom he sold it to; and it sometimes occurs, such drafts having to pa.s.s through the clearing-house,{20} the princ.i.p.al is not certain whether his money, is safe till the day following. In this way does the floating stock pa.s.s and repa.s.s through the Stock Exchange to and from the public, each jobber seizing and laying his hand on as much as he can, besides the eighth per cent.

certain, which the established rule gives in their favour: the price frequently gives way, or rises much more to his advantage, which advantage is lost to the princ.i.p.als, and thrown into the pockets of middle men by the carelessness and indolence of the broker, who will not trouble himself in looking out for such persons as he might do business with in a more direct way.{21} When the Stock Market was more public, that is, when they admitted the public by paying sixpence a day, compet.i.tors for government loans were to be seen in numbers, which enabled ministers to make good bargains for the country{22};

20 A room situated in Lombard-street, where the banking clerks meet for the mutual exchange of drafts. The princ.i.p.al business commences at three o'clock in the afternoon, and the balances are paid and received at five o'clock.

21 Query,--When a broker has to buy and sell for two different princ.i.p.als, may he not act as a jobber also, and put the turns into his own pocket? In such cases the jobbers are convenient cloaks to disguise the transaction.

22 The loans taken by Boyd and Co., Goldsmidt, and others, were generally contracted for upon much better terms for the country than those taken by the Stock Exchange; but as they were contending against what is known by the interests of the house, they all were ruined in their turns, as the jobbers could always depreciate the value of stocks by making sales for time of that they did not possess.

~135~~but, since the establishment of the present private market, the stock-jobbers have been found to have so much power over the price of stocks, after loans had been contracted for, that real monied men, merchants, and bankers, have been obliged to creep in under the wings of this body of gamblers, and be satisfied with what portion of each loan this junto pleases to deal out to them."--In this way little Princ.i.p.al opened the secret volume of the Stock Exchange frauds, and exposed to our view the vile traffic carried on there by the _flat-catchers of the money market_. In ordinary cases it would be a task of extreme peril for a stranger to intrude into this _sanctum sanctorum_; but as our friend, the broker, was highly respected, we were allowed to pa.s.s through unmolested--a favour that will operate in suppressing our notice of certain characters whom we recognized within. It will, however, hardly be credited that in this place, where every man is by profession a gambler, and sharping is the great qualification, so much of their time is devoted to tricks and fancies that would disgrace a school-boy.

Among these the most prominent is hustling a stranger; an ungenerous and unmanly practice, that is too often played off upon the unsuspecting, who have been, perhaps, purposely invited into the den for the amus.e.m.e.nt of the wolves. Another point of amus.e.m.e.nt is _flying a tile, or slating_ a man, as the phrases of the Stock Exchange describe it. An anecdote is told of one of their own members which will best convey an idea of this trick. One who was ever foremost in _slating_ his brothers, or kicking about a new castor, had himself just sported a new hat, but, with prudence which is proverbial among the craft, he would leave his new _tile_ at the counting-house, ~136~~and proceed to the Stock Exchange in an old one kept for the purpose: this becoming known to some of the wags, members of the house, they despatched a note and obtained the new hat, which no sooner made its appearance in the house than it was thrown up for general sport; a joke in which none partic.i.p.ated more freely than the unsuspecting owner, whose chagrin may be very well conceived, when, on his return to his counting-house from Capel-court, he discovered that he had been a.s.sisting in kicking his own property to pieces. Another trick of these wags is the s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g up a number of pieces of paper longitudinally with a portion of black ink inside them, and lying on the table before some person, whom they will endeavour to engage in serious conversation upon the state of the market, when it is ten to one if he does not roll some of these _twisters_ between his fingers, and from agitation or deep thought on his approaching losses, or the risk of his speculations, blacken his fingers and his face, to the horse-laughical amus.e.m.e.nt of the by-standers. One of the best among the recent jokes my friend Bob has depicted to the life. (See Plate.) The fame of Mr.

Wright's brown pony had often reached the ears of his brother brokers, but hitherto the animal himself was personally unknown: to obviate this difficulty, some sportive wight ascertained the stable where the old gentleman usually left his nag during the time he was attending the market, and by a well-executed forgery succeeded in bringing the pony to Capel-court, when, without further ceremony, he was introduced into the house during the high bustle of the market, to the no small amus.e.m.e.nt of the house and the utter astonishment of his owner.

There is a new Stock Exchange established in Capel-court, where a number of Jews, shopkeepers, and tradesmen a.s.semble, and jobbers who have emigrated from their friends in the upper house, some ~137~~of whom have either been _ducks_, or have retired out of it on some honourable occasion; but as all is conducted upon honour in this traffic of gambling, these men also set up the principle of honour, on which they risk what has been honourably brought away from their honourable fellow labourers in the princ.i.p.al vineyard: these men stand generally in the Alley, and, hearing what is going on in the other market (as they speculate also upon the price established there), they will give advice to strangers who may be on the out-look to make, as they expect, a speedy fortune by dabbling in the stocks. If they find a person to be respectable, they will offer to do business with him on the principle of their brethren, and also exact the one-eighth per cent, as they do, trusting to his honour, that (although they do not know where he lives) he will appear on or before the settling day to balance the account, and pay or receive the difference.{23}

These jobbers speculate a great deal upon puts and calls, and will give a chance sometimes for a mere trifle. They have not, like the private market, the public generally to work upon, the by-laws in the Stock Exchange prohibiting any broker or jobber, being a regular member, from dealing with them, on pain of forfeiting his right to re-enter; but, notwithstanding, some of the brokers, and even the jobbers inside, will run all risks when there appears a good chance of getting a turn on the price in their favour: from this cause, however, the Alley, or New Stock Exchange jobbers, are obliged to gamble more directly with each other; consequently many get thrown to the leeward, and those who stand longest are generally such as have other resources from the trade or

23 There have many lately entered into gambling transactions with these gentlemen, and have taken the profit so long as they were right in their speculations; but as soon as a loss came upon them, knowing they have no black board, they walk themselves coolly away with what they get.

~138~~occupation they carry on elsewhere. From this place, called by the members of the _house Lower Tartary, or h.e.l.l_, the next step of degradation, when obliged to waddle out of the court, is the _Rotunda of New Botany Bay_. Here may be seen the private market in miniature; a crowd of persons calling themselves jobbers and brokers, and, of course, a market to serve any person who will deal with them; the same system of _ear-wigging_, nods, and winks, is apparent, and the same _fiddling, rasping_, and attempts at overreaching each other, as in Upper Tartary, or the Den; and of course, while they rasp and fiddle, their princ.i.p.als have to pay for the music: but as no great bargains are contracted here (these good things being reserved for a select few in the private market), the jobbers, who are chiefly of little note, are glad if they can pick up a few s.h.i.+llings for a day's job, by cutting out money stock for servants' and other people's small earnings. Here may be seen my lord's footman from the west end of the town, who is a great politician, and knows for a certainty that the stocks will be down; therefore he wants to sell out his 50L. savings, to get in at less: here also may be some other lord's footman, who has taken a different view of things, and wants to buy; and, although their respective brokers might meet each other, and transact business in a direct way, at a given price, notwithstanding they either do, or they pretend to have given the jobbers the turn,{24} that is, the one sold at one-eighth, and the other bought at one-fourth.--This market, as in the Alley, is ruled by the prices established in the private gambling market, which being the case, some will have messengers running to and from this market to see how the puffs and bangs proceed; and if they can saddle their neighbour before he knows the price is changed, it is thought good jobbing. From the Stock

24 Some act both as jobbers and brokers, and will charge a com-mission for selling their own stock.

~139~~Exchange to the Rotunda, every where, it will be perceived, a system of gambling and deception is practised upon the public, and the country demoralized and injured by a set of men who have no principle but interest, and acknowledge no laws but those of gain.

[Ill.u.s.tration: page139]