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"Why, yes, it is real pretty," he replied. "What about it?"
"Oh, nothing much," gravely replied the sheriff as he edged away. "Only we were thinking of putting a flower-bed there, although I haven't had time to get at it yet."
The Orphan flushed and glanced quickly at the outfit, who were too busy cracking jokes and laughing to pay any attention to the conversation across the room.
"James!" cried Mrs. s.h.i.+elds. "Aren't you ashamed of yourself!"
"When you tickle a mule," said the sheriff, grinning at his friend, "you want to look out for the kick. Come again sometime, Sonny."
"James!" his wife repeated, "how can you be so mean! Now, stop teasing and behave yourself!"
"For a long time I've been puzzled about what you resembled, but now I have your words for it," easily countered The Orphan. "Thank you for putting me straight."
The sheriff grinned sheepishly and scratched his head: "I'm an old fool,"
he grumbled, and forthwith departed to tell Helen of the fencing.
Mrs. s.h.i.+elds excused herself and followed her husband into the kitchen to look after the dinner, and The Orphan sauntered over to his outfit just as Jim looked out of a rear window. Jim turned quickly, his face wearing a grin from ear to ear.
"Hey, Bud!" he called eagerly. "Bud!"
"What?" asked Bud, turning at the hail.
"Come over here for a minute, I want to show you something," Jim replied, "but don't let Humble come."
Bud obeyed and looked: "Jimminee!" he exulted. "Don't that look sumptious, though? This is where we s.h.i.+ne, all right." Then turned: "Hey, fellows, come over here and take a look."
As they crowded around the window Humble discovered that something was in the wind and he followed them. What they saw was a long table beneath two trees, and it was covered with a white cloth and dressed for a feast.
Bud turned quickly from the crowd and forcibly led Humble to a side window before that unfortunate had seen anything and told him to put his finger against the gla.s.s, which Humble finally did after an argument.
"Feel the pain?" Bud asked.
"Why, no," Humble replied, looking critically at his finger. "What's the matter with you, anyhow?"
"Nothing," replied Bud. "Think it over, Humble," he advised, turning away.
Humble again put his finger to the gla.s.s and then snorted:
"Locoed chump! Prosperity is making him nutty!" When he turned he saw his friends laughing silently at him and making grimaces, and a light suddenly broke in upon him.
"Yes, I did!" he cried. "That joke is so old I plumb forgot it years ago!
Spring something that hasn't got whiskers and a halting step, will you?"
Jim laughed and suggested a dance, but was promptly squelched.
"You heathen!" snorted Blake in mock horror. "This is Sunday! If you want to dance wait till you get back to the ranch--suppose one of the women was here and heard you say that!"
"Gee, I forgot all about it being Sunday," replied Jim, quickly looking to see if any of the women were in the room. "We're regular barbarians, ain't we!" he exclaimed in self-condemnation and relief when he saw that no women were present. "We're regular land pirates, ain't we?"
"You'll be asking to play poker yet, or have a race," jabbed Humble with malice. "You ain't got no sense and never did have any."
"Huh!" retorted Jim belligerently, "I won't try to learn a Chinee cook how to play poker and get skinned out of my pay, anyhow! Got enough?"
he asked, "or shall I tell of the time you drifted into Sagetown and asked----"
"Shut up, you fool!" whispered Humble ferociously. "Yu'll get skun if you say too much!"
"'Skun' is real good," retorted Jim. "Got any more of them new words to spring on us?"
Helen had been pa.s.sing to and fro past the window and Docile Thomas here put his marveling into words, for he had been casting covert glances at her, but now his restraint broke.
"Gee whiz!" he exclaimed in a whisper to Jack Lawson. "Ain't she a regular hummer, now! Lines like a thoroughbred, face like a dream and a smile what sh.o.r.e is a winner! See her hair--fine and dandy, eh? She's in the two-forty cla.s.s, all right!" he enthused. "Why, when this country wakes up to what's in it the sheriff will have to put up a stockade around this house and mount guard. Everybody from Bill up will be stampeding this way to talk business with the sheriff. No wonder The Orphan has got a bee in his bonnet--lucky dog!"
"She can take care of my pay every month just as soon as she says the word," Jack replied. "But suppose you look away once in a while? Suppose you s.h.i.+ft your sights! You, too, Humble," he said, suddenly turning on the latter.
"Me what?" asked Humble, without interest and without s.h.i.+fting his gaze.
"What are you talking about?"
"Look at something else, see?"
"Sh.o.r.e I see," replied Humble. "That's why I'm looking. Do you think I look with my eyes shut! Gee, but ain't she a picture, though!"
"She sh.o.r.e is, but give it a rest, take a vacation, you chump!" retorted Jack. "You're staring at her like she had you hoodooed. Come out of your trance--wake up and make a fool of yourself some other way. Don't aim all the time at her. Mebby Lee Lung has killed your dog!"
"If he has we'll need a new cook," replied Humble with decision.
"Come on, boys! Don't start milling!" cried the sheriff, suddenly entering the room. "Dinner's all ready and waiting for us. And I sh.o.r.e hope you have all got your best appet.i.tes with you, because Margaret likes to see her food taken care of lively. If you don't clean it all up she'll think you don't like it," he said, winking at Blake, "and if she once gets that notion in her head it will be no more invitations for the Star C."
There was much excitement in the crowd, and the replies came fast.
"I ain't had anything good to eat for fifteen long, aching years!" cried Bud. "When I get through you'll need a new table.
"Same here, only for thirty years," replied Jim hastily. "I just couldn't sleep last night for thinking about the glorious surprise my abused stomach was due to have to-day. I'll bet my gun on my performance if the track is heavy, all right. I'm not poor on speed, and I'm a stayer from Stayersville."
"Well, I won't be among the also rans, you can bet on that," laughed Silent. "I don't weigh very much, but I'm geared high."
"I'll bet it's good!" cried Humble, "I'll bet it's real good!"
"D----n good, you mean!" corrected Jack. "Hey, fellows!" he cried, "did you hear what Humble said? He said that he'd bet it was _real_ good!"
"Horray for Humble, the wit of the Star C," laughed Docile.
"Me for the apricot pie!" exulted Charley. "Here's where I get square on Blake for rubbing it in all these months about the fine pie he gets over here."
"There ain't no apricot pie," gravely lied the sheriff in surprise.
"What!" cried Charley in alarm. "There ain't none for me! Oh, well, you can't lose me in daylight, for I'll double up on everything else. I ain't going to get left, all right!"
"Don't wake me up," begged Joe Haines. "Let me dream on in peace and plenty. Grub, real, genuine grub, grub what is grub! Oh, joy!"