The Sexual Question Part 50

I agree that a man cannot for long conceal his true nature; we are what we are by heredity. Nevertheless, the art of being amiable may be acquired by habit and education, an art which the poorest may employ.

Education should never cease during life. Along with the higher sentiments of love and mutual respect, lasting s.e.xual attraction is a link of inestimable value in maintaining a long and happy union between man and woman in marriage.

The married couple should, therefore, avoid everything which may rupture this link. The wife should devote herself to making the home attractive to her husband. The latter, on his part, should neither regard his wife as a mere housekeeper, nor only as an object for the satisfaction of his s.e.xual appet.i.te. Such a conception of woman and marriage is unfortunately very common and is incompatible with true conjugal happiness.

On the other hand, it is not enough for the husband to esteem and respect his wife as a faithful companion, to whom he is united in a purely intellectual way. For the couple to find lasting and complete happiness in marriage, love, however ideal it may be, should be accompanied by s.e.xual enjoyment. In short, intellectual and sentimental harmony should be combined with sensual harmony in a single and sublime symphony. The husband should not only regard his wife as the incarnation of all the domestic virtues, but should also continue to imagine her as the Venus of his early love.

This condition may be realized even when youth has pa.s.sed away, provided the deep sympathetic sentiments of an ideal love have truly existed and are maintained. The wife will then continue to be for her husband the G.o.ddess she has always been. But if this condition is not realized it is not always easy for the husband, with his polygamous disposition, to remain insensible to the charms of other women.

However, habit and imagination may do much to correct this tendency.

I think the following advice may be useful to the husband (and occasionally also to the wife). When his s.e.xual pa.s.sion is excited by another woman and he is in danger of succ.u.mbing, he should endeavor, by the aid of his imagination, to clothe his own wife with the charms of his would-be seducer. With a little determination this measure will often succeed; he will thus strengthen his s.e.xual desire toward his own wife, and perhaps increase hers also. In this way, a flame which threatened to destroy conjugal happiness may sometimes serve to strengthen it, by reviving afresh the mutual feelings of love and desire. In the first part of his "Wahlverwandtschaften" (elective affinities), Goethe designates this phenomenon by the term _mental adultery_; but I am of the opinion that it is rather the expression of a _mental conjugal fidelity_ which is strengthened by sensual subst.i.tution.

When there is true love and good-will on both sides, such experiences may often help toward the gradual consolidation of conjugal relations.

Not only may a deviated pa.s.sion be brought back to the conjugal bed, but certain discords may be restored to harmony, and the couple may find new desire and mutual affection which have been put to the test.

=Matriarchism.=--With regard to family relations there is an important point to consider, which we have already touched upon in Chapter XIII.

The power of man and of patriarchism has had the result of giving the father's name to the family. This system is not only unnatural, but also has deplorable effects. If it is true that the germ of the individual (_Chromosomes_, Chapter I) inherits on the average as much from the father as from the mother, the latter is more closely connected with it from all other points of view. Races in which the maternal influence predominates in the family, not only in name but also in other respects, have better understood the voice of nature.

The fact that the mother carries the child for nine months in her womb, and for many years after birth is more intimately a.s.sociated with it than the father, gives her a natural right which the father cannot claim. Children ought, therefore, to be named after the mother.

Moreover, in case of divorce, it should be the rule for children to be restored to the mother, unless there are special reasons for another decision.

It is evident that in the conditions of modern civilization we cannot return to matriarchism in its primitive sense. An old patriarch cannot become the sole sovereign of all his descendants without the occurrence of grave abuses, no more can this power devolve on a grandmother. Apart from denomination in the maternal line, I mean by matriarchism, the legal privilege of the management of the family conferred on the wife, who is in reality the center of the family.

I will sum up what appears to me to be required, in the following propositions:

1. Denomination in the maternal line.

2. With the exception of cases in which the wife loses her maternal rights owing to incapacity, bad conduct or insanity, etc., or when the law is obliged to deprive her of them, she alone will possess the guardians.h.i.+p and the management of her children during their minority.

3. The wife will be proprietor and housekeeper of the house and household. Her work of housekeeping and her maternal duties will be estimated at their just value, and will have the right to compensation, equivalent to the husband's work in his business.

4. As long as conjugal union exists, the husband has the right to live in his wife's house, for the protection he gives to the family, for the work he gives toward the house and the education of the children, as well as for his pecuniary contributions toward the expenses of both.

5. With the exception of contributions to the house and education, and to the feeding and clothing of the children, the product of the husband's work and private fortune belong to him, just as the product and fortune of his wife are her own property. In the case of divorce there will then be no difficulty in separating the two properties.

Excepting in cases mentioned in the second proposition, which will be decided by law, the children will belong to the mother only. But as long as he lives and is able to work, the divorced father must continue to contribute to the maintenance and education of the children he has procreated, till they come of age.

These propositions have only a legal value, and will only be required when the conjoints cannot come to a mutual understanding. They in no way concern those who are able to live together in mutual concord. A weak and pa.s.sive woman will continue as before to subordinate herself to the advice and opinions of a husband stronger and wiser than herself.

It is needless to say that, after divorce or separation, things will not always go smoothly, although more so than at present. The husband will always have the right to have certain claims decided by law. When the law is not exclusively in the hands of men, it will be more capable of protecting the rights of women. Cases in which a mother is incapable of bringing up her own children, or where the father is capable of great devotion and sacrifice are not now so rare, but they are nevertheless exceptional.

=The Present Day.=--It is not to be expected that the above propositions will find much support at the present day among the majority of people, still less that they will soon be realized by the governing bodies, considering their conservative and idle tendencies and their inertia. It may be asked, on the other hand, whether the present laws do not already provide us with the ways and means of attaining the ideal that we propose. I already see two:

First of all, as pointed out in Chapter XIII, we may enter into contracts which make the properties entirely separate, and according to the local legislation in force, fulfill other of the above propositions. For instance, in some countries, the wife can preserve by contract the property and management of the house, etc.

In the second place, illegitimate children now bear the family name of their mother; this is exactly what we desire. When concubinage is not prosecuted and punished by law, a free marriage could be arranged by private contract which would fulfill the above conditions. Some persons, I admit, would require much courage to do this, for it is not every one who can brave public opinion when he has a good reputation to lose. Moreover, such unions would not enjoy the protection of the State. By a little perseverance, however, the public might be induced to call the woman "Mrs." instead of "Miss."

It is not impossible for unions of this kind between honorable persons to become more frequent, and gradually compel society to recognize free unions as the equivalent of traditional, or so-called legal, marriage, to accord them the same rights and recognize the children born of them. The conjoints could be named by combining both family names; for example, if Miss Martin enters into a free union with Mr.

Durand, she might be called Mrs. Martin-Durand, and her husband Mr.

Durand-Martin.

=Conclusion.=--It may perhaps be thought that I am imagining the existence of the purest ideal and the happiness of paradise in a world in which the hereditary quality of men will be no better than it is to-day. I hope that no reader who has followed me carefully will regard me as so ingenuous. Then as now there will be intrigues and disputes, hatred, envy, jealousy, idleness, impropriety, falsehood, negligence, temper, etc., but their power will be less. There will be less excuse for these bad qualities and those who possess them will be regarded as pathological individuals who should be eliminated as much as possible by means of proper selection, combined with good hygiene and thorough education.

On the other hand, men of originality and high ideals will be able to develop much more freely and naturally than at present. They will no longer be the slaves of power, money, prejudice and routine. They will not be obliged to conform to religious hypocrisy, but will be able to speak and act according to their convictions. Marriage, and s.e.xual relations in general, will no longer be a perpetual conventional falsehood. The sentiments no longer fettered, will not be led astray into mischievous ways by artificial excitement, so long as they do not depend on unhealthy dispositions, for the pretexts and especially the pecuniary inducement to commit evil actions and contract bad habits will have been removed as far as possible.

For the same reason prost.i.tution will become almost impossible, for it will cease to have any reason for existence. Immoderate s.e.xual intercourse, like other excesses, will not cease to exist, but will be kept in certain limits by the work which no one will be able to escape.

At the end of his history of materialism (1874) F.A. Lange wrote as follows:

"We lay down our pen and terminate our criticism at a time when Europe is agitated by the social question. In the vast social domain, all the revolutionary elements of science, religion and politics meet together and seem prepared for a decisive battle. Whether this battle remains a simple contest of minds or whether it takes the form of a cataclysm which will bury thousands of unfortunates in the ruins of a disappearing period, one thing is certain:--the new epoch will only succeed by abolis.h.i.+ng egoism, and placing the work of improvement of the human race in the hands of a human cooperative society, in place of our feverish work which has only personal interest at heart.

"The contests which are impending will be mitigated if the minds which are to direct the people are imbued with the knowledge of human evolution and historical phenomena.

"We must not abandon the hope that in the remote future great changes may take place without defiling humanity with fire and bloodshed. It would certainly be the finest reward for strenuous work of the human mind, if it could from this time prepare an easy way to that which a certain future reserves for us, avoiding atrocious sacrifices and saving the treasures of our civilization to be transmitted to the new epoch.

"Unfortunately, this prospect has little chance of realization, and we cannot disguise the fact that blind party pa.s.sion goes on increasing, and that the brutal struggle of interests becomes more and more removed from the influence of theoretical research. However, our efforts will not all be in vain, and truth will prevail in the end.

In any case the observer who thinks has no right to be silent, simply because at the present moment he has only a small number of listeners."

Thirty years ago Lange's pessimism would be comprehensible; but ideas have progressed since then, and the prospects of to-day give us more courage for social work.

The Utopian ideas which I have expressed have in no way the pretension to be new. a.n.a.lyzing the facts in the most diverse domains, I have simply attempted to find those which seem to me suited to solve the s.e.xual problem of the human race most advantageously under the present social conditions. Every one to-day admits that our s.e.xual life leaves much to be desired, but is afraid of touching the crumbling edifice.

I leave it to my readers to decide whether my ideas are nothing more than Utopian, or whether they do not rather represent a realizable ideal, begging them to reflect as calmly and independently as possible before giving their judgment.

After all, we have to choose between pessimistic acceptance of the fatal decay of our race for the benefit of the Mongols, and an immediate and energetic effort toward selective and educational improvement, an effort which will alone be capable of reviving our hereditary vital energy. Whoever decides in favor of the latter alternative should occupy himself with the s.e.xual question, and boldly declare war against the domination of private capital, the abuse of alcohol, and all the prejudices by which we are hampered. He should abandon the luxury and effeminate comfort of our time and return to the principles of Lycurgus and the j.a.panese--to the education of character and self-control by methodical training in continuous social work combined with voluntary fatigue and privation.

BIBLIOGRAPHICAL REMARKS

I shall no doubt be reproached for not having taken sufficient notice of other works on the subject of this book. I have, however, desired to express my own opinion without allowing myself to be unduly influenced by others. I will nevertheless make a few remarks on the bibliography of this subject.

I may mention the celebrated work of the Italian physician, Mantigazza, on the _Physiology of Love_. It is a curious fact that this author, after his poetic descriptions of love, is in favor of prost.i.tution. The German socialist, Bebel, has written a very remarkable book on woman in the past, the present and the future. In spite of scientific errors, which are easily excused in a self-made man who became one of the leaders of the German Reichstag, this book remains a veritable social monument on the s.e.xual question. With the exception of his strong political bias, and the errors I have just mentioned I am, on the whole, in accord with the ideas of Bebel.

Another German author, Bolsche, (_Das Liebesleben in der Natur_) has recently described love among all organized beings, including man, with a tone of forced pleasantry which spoils the profound knowledge of the author on the zoological and other subjects which he treats.

With regard to German literature, I recommend the _Archiv fur Ra.s.sen und Gesellschafts' Biologie_, edited by Doctor Plotz of Berlin. This publication has for its object the study of the causes of degeneration in our race and the remedies for it. Among other articles which have appeared in this publication I may specially mention those of Shallmayer on _Heredity and Selection in the Life of Races_, and Thurnwald, _Town and Country in the Life of the Race_. I may also mention Plotz: _Die Tuchtigkeit unserer Ra.s.se und der Schutz der Schwachen_, 1895, and _Mutterschutz_, a journal for the reform of s.e.xual ethics, 1905.

France has always shone in the domain of the poetry of love and the art connected with it. Apart from the ancient cla.s.sics I may refer to George Sand, Alfred de Musset, Lamartine, and Madame de Stael. In the practical conception of free love, George Sand was in advance of her time. Among modern authors there are Paul Bourget; Andre Couvreur, who in _La Graine_ deals with the problem of human selection; Brieux, who in _Les Avaries_, attacks the social tragedies of venereal disease.

The book of Vacher de Lapouge on social selection is full of interesting ideas, although too much influenced by the unstable hypothesis of Gobineau. To make distinct zoological species of dolichocephalics and brachycephalics, as Vacher de Lapouge attempts, is a grave error in zoology. Charles Albert: _L'Amour Libre_, and Queyrat: _La Demoralization de l'idee s.e.xuelle_, give the note of contemporary change in ideas on the s.e.xual question.

In _Le Mariage et les Theories Malthusiennes_ (Paris, 1906) Dr.

Georges Guibert recommends early marriage, but does not take account of human selection. Remy de Gourmont, _Physique de l'amour; Essai sur l'instinct s.e.xuel_, Paris, 1903, describes, very pessimistically, love in the animal kingdom. Jeanne Deflou (_Le s.e.xualisme_, Paris, 1905) has written a virulent feminine complaint against the injustice of the stronger s.e.x.

But the French author who has given the most profound, the truest descriptions of the psychology of love and the s.e.xual appet.i.te is undoubtedly Guy de Maupa.s.sant. No doubt his last illness caused him to produce certain more or less regrettable works in which certain p.o.r.nographic traits appeared. He may, perhaps, be accused of having too often described the pathology of love, which, by the way, he admirably understood. Perhaps also, he has too often dealt with exceptional situations and irresponsible pa.s.sions. But these are only details, and we must admit that by drawing attention to the unhealthy features of our modern s.e.xual life, he compels the reader to reflect, and inspires him not only with disgust for evil but with profound sadness and a feeling of revulsion. He often reveals his predilection for the refined, hypersensitive love of the boudoir which we have regarded here as a symptom of social degeneration. But this does not prevent his clear insight into the love of the proletariat, the peasant or the healthy man. He knows man as well as woman, and if he has presented them most often under their least moral aspect it is because he has observed them closely. But occasionally he rises to the greatest heights of the truest, purest and most profound love.