The City Bride (1696) Part 9

My inward Grief calls on me for Revenge, and I am all on fire! O that I had the proud _Bonvile_ here now at my Feet, I'de use him worse than he did me before.

_But since that open Force yields no Relief, Private Revenge shall ease my swelling Grief.

With Thoughts of Jealousy I'll fill his Soul, Which shall its Powers of all their Rest controul.

Thus for a Woman I've begun a War, And for her sake must d.a.m.n my Soul like her._[Exit.

SCENE the Second.

_Enter_ Nurse, Compa.s.s, _and his Wife._

_Nurse._ Indeed you must pardon me, I can't let ye see the Child; to tell you the Truth, I am commanded to the contrary.

_Comp._ Commanded! Prethee who commanded thee?

_Nurse._ The Father.

_Comp._ The Father, Why who am I?

_Nurse._ Not the Father sure, the Civil Law has found it otherwise.

_Comp._ The Civil Law found it otherwise! Why then the Uncivil Law shall make it mine again, I'll be as dreadful as a _Shrove-Tuesday_ to thee; for I'll besiege thy squalling catterwauling Castle, with my Friends the Mob, and gut thy stinking Nursery, but I'll both see and have my Child.

_Nurse._ Harkee, Goodman Swabber, say but half so much again, and I'll call the Constable, and lay Burglary to your Charge. You wou'd not be so hot if the Enemy were in View, nor if you had to do with any body but a poor innocent Woman, so you wou'd'nt.

_Peg._ Good Husband be patient, and let me alone with her: Come, come, good Nurse, let him see the Boy.

_Nurse._ Indeed I dare not Goody _Compa.s.s_: The Father first you know delivered me the Child, and order'd me to let no body see it. He pays me well and weekly for my Pains, and therefore I'll do as be bad me, so I will.

_Comp._ Why thou white b.a.s.t.a.r.d-breeder; Is not this Woman here the Mother?

_Nurse._ Yes, I grant you that.

_Comp._ Do you so? Well, and I grant it too; And is not the Child then my own by the Wives Copy-hold?

_Nurse._ The Law must try that.

_Comp._ The Law! What then you think I'll be but its Father-in-Law? I tell thee, all the Wit and Law twixt _Cuckolds-Point_ and _Westminster-Hall_, shan't keep my own dear Flesh and Blood from me, I warrant you that. No an't does, I'll be hanged at the Main-yard: Why, who, dost think, uses to get my Children but my self?

_Nurse._ Nay, I can't tell; you must look to that, for my part I ne're knew you get any.

_Comp._ Say'st thou so? Why, look you, do but put on a clean Smock, and try me, if thou darst, I'll hold thee three to one I get thee with Child before I leave thee: Heh! what say'st thou?

[_Offers to lay hold on her._.

_Nurse._ I'll see you hang'd first--Nay, pray be quiet, and don't offer to spoil my Milk. Lord, you are as boisterous as my Husband was the first Night we were married: Pray, Goody _Compa.s.s_, take off your Cur, or else he'l bite me.

_Peg._ No never fear him, Nurse, he's not so furious I a.s.sure ye.

_Enter Mr._ Venter _and his Wife._

_Nurse._ O! here's my Master, the Child's Father, now talk with him.

Mr. _Ven._ Good morrow Neighbour, good morrow to ye both.

_Comp._ Both! Good morrow to you and your Wife too, if you go to that.

Mr. _Ven._ I wou'd speak calmly with you, Friend, if you think fit.

_Comp._ I know what belongs to Calm, and a Storm too; and if you please, a cold word or two wi' you.

Mr. _Ven._ With all my Heart.

_Comp._ I understand that you have ty'd your Mare in my Ground.

Mr. _Ven._ My Mare, Friend, nay I a.s.sure you, 'twas only my Nag.

_Comp._ Your Nag? Well your Nag then let it be: Harke, Sir, to be short, I'll cut off your Nag's Tail, if e're I catch him there again.

Mr. _Ven._ Pray hear me, you are too rough to maintain----

_Comp._ I say, Sir, you shall maintain no Child of mine; my Wife does not bestow her Labour for that purpose.

Mr. _Ven._ You are too pa.s.sionate--I will not maintain----

_Comp._ No marry shall you not.

Mr. _Ven._ The Deed I have done to be lawful, I have repented it, and given Satisfaction to the Law, my Purse has paid for't; therefore I wou'd treat milder with you if you'd be pleased.

_Comp._ Yes, yes, I am very well pleased, and shall be better pleased if you can serve me so still: For, look you Sir, one of these Days I shall to Sea again, you know where my Wife lives; yet you'l but lose your labour, for get as many Children as you can, I a.s.sure you, you shall keep none of them.

Mr. _Ven._ I think you are mad.

_Comp._ Why, if I am Horn-mad, what's that to you?

Mr. _Ven._ Nay then, since you are so rough, I tell you plainly you are--a----

_Comp._ A what? What am I, heh?

Mr. _Ven._ A c.o.xcomb.

_Comp._ A c.o.xcomb! a Cuckold you mean, and you a Fool for your pains.

Mr. _Ven._ The Child is mine, I am the Father of it, and will keep it.

_Comp._ Yes if you can, I know you will. But pray tell me, is not my Wife the Mother? You may be as far from being the Father as I am, for my Wife's acquainted with more Wh.o.r.e-masters besides your self; ay, and as crafty Merchants too, let me tell you that.

_Peg._ No indeed Husband, I had to do with no body else, 'twas he begot, indeed and indeed now. Yet for all that, the Child's mine, I bred it and bore it, and I'll have it and keep it, so I will.

Mrs. _Ven._ Pray hold there Mrs. Jill-flurt, the Child's my Husband's, and he shall have it, or I'll tear your Eyes out, ye Wh.o.r.e you.