Poetical Ingenuities and Eccentricities Part 12

When the cherry's in the blossom, it has no stone; Perrimerri dictum, Domine: When the chicken's in the egg, it has no bone; Partum quartum, peredecentum, Perrimerri dictum, Domine.

When the blanket's in the fleece, it has no thread; Perrimerri dictum, Domine: When the book's in the press, no man can it read; Partum quartum, peredecentum, Perrimerri dictum, Domine."

LITTLE BO-PEEP.

"Parvula Bo-peep Amisit her sheep, Et nescit where to find 'em; Desere alone, Et venient home, c.u.m omnibus caudis behind 'em."

JACK AND JILL.

"Jack c.u.m amico Jill, Ascendit super montem; Johannes cecedit down the hill, Ex forte fregit frontem."

THE TEETOTUM.

"Fresh from his books, an arch but studious boy, Twirl'd with resilient glee his mobile toy; And while on single pivot foot it set, Whisk'd round the board in whirring pirouette, Shriek'd, as its figures flew too fast to note 'em, _Te totum amo, amo te, Teetotum_."

Schoolboys and college youths not unfrequently adorn their books with some such macaronic as this:

"Si quisquis furetur, This little libellum, Per Bacchum, per Jovem, I'll kill him, I'll fell him; In venturum illius I'll stick my scalpellum, And teach him to steal My little libellum."

Inscriptions and epitaphs are often the vehicles of quaint and curious diction, and of these we give some instances:

THE SIGN OF THE "GENTLE SHEPHERD OF SALISBURY PLAIN."

(_On the road from Cape Town to Simon's Bay, Cape of Good Hope._)

"Multum in parvo, pro bono publico; Entertainment for man or beast all of a row.

Lekker host as much as you please; Excellent beds without any fleas; Nos patrum fugimus--now we are here, Vivamus, let us live by selling beer On donne a boire et a manger ici; Come in and try it, whoever you be."

IN THE VISITORS' BOOK AT NIAGARA FALLS.

"Tres fratres stolidii, Took a boat at Niagri; Stormus arose et windus erat, Magnum frothum surgebat, Et boatum overturnebat, Et omnes drowndiderunt Quia swimmere non potuerunt!"

IN THE VISITORS' BOOK OF MOUNT KEARSARGE HOUSE.

(_Summit of Mount Kearsarge, North Conway, N.H._)

"Sic itur ad astra, together; But much as we aspire, No purse of gold, this summer weather, Could hire us to go higher!"

The following epitaph is to be found in Northallerton Churchyard:

"Hic jacet Walter Gun, Sometime landlord of the _Sun_, Sic transit gloria mundi!

He drank hard upon Friday, That being an high day, Took his bed and died upon Sunday!"

There are no macaronic authors nowadays, though poems of this cla.s.s are still to be had in colleges and universities; but everything pertaining to college life is ephemeral, coming in with Freshman and going out with Senior. College students are the prolific fathers of a kind of punning Latin composition, such as:

"O _unum_ sculls. You _d.a.m.num_ sculls. _Sic transit_ drove a _tu pone tandem temo ver_ from the north."

"He is visiting his _ante_, Mrs. _Dido Etdux_, and intends stopping here till _ortum_."

"He _et super_ with us last evening, and is a terrible fellow. He _lambda_ man almost to death the other evening, but he got his match--the other man _cutis nos_ off for him and _noctem_ flat _urna_ flounder."

"Doctores! Duc.u.m nex mundi nitu Panes; trituc.u.m at ait. Expecto meta fumen, and eta beta pi. Super attente one--Dux, hamor clam pati; sum parates, homine, ices, jam, etc. Sideror hoc."

In a similar dialect to this, Dean Swift and Dr. Sheridan used to correspond. In this way:

"Is his honor sic? Prae letus felis pulse."

The Dean once wrote to the Doctor:

"Mollis abuti, No la.s.so finis, Has an acuti, Molli divinis."

To which the Doctor responded:

"I ritu a verse o na Molli o mi ne, Asta la.s.sa me pole, a laedis o fine; I ne ver neu a niso ne at in mi ni is, A manat a glans ora sito fer diis.

De armo lis abuti, hos face an hos nos is As fer a sal illi, as reddas aro sis, Ac is o mi Molli is almi de lite, Illo verbi de, an illo verbi nite."

At this the Dean settles the whole affair by--

"Apud in is almi de si re, Mimis tres I ne ver re qui re; Alo' ver I findit a gestis, His miseri ne ver at restis."

Sydney Smith proposed as a motto for a well-known fish-sauce purveyor the following line from Virgil (_aen._ iv. I):

"_Gravi jam_dudum _saucia_ cura."

When two students named Payne and Culpepper were expelled from college, a cla.s.smate wrote:

"_Poen_ia perire potest; _Culpa per_ennis est."

And Dr. Johnson wrote the following epitaph on his cat:

"_Mi-cat_ inter omnes."

A gentleman at dinner helped his friend to a potato, saying--"I think that is a good mealy one." "Thank you," was the reply, "it could not be _melior_."

Another gentleman while driving one day was asked by a lady if some fowls they pa.s.sed were ducks or geese. One of the latter at the moment lifting up its voice, the gentleman said, "That's your _anser_!"

"Well, Tom, are you sick again?" asked a student of his friend, and was answered in English and in Latin, "_Sic sum_."

Victor Hugo was once asked if he could write English poetry.

"Certainement," was the reply, and he sat down and wrote this verse:

"Pour cha.s.ser le spleen J'entrai dans un inn; O, mais je bus le gin, G.o.d save the queen!"

In the "Innocents Abroad" of Mark Twain he gives a letter written by his friend Mr. Blucher to a Parisian hotel-keeper, which was as follows:

"'MONSIEUR LE LANDLORD: Sir--_Pourquoi_ don't you _mettez_ some _savon_ in your bed-chambers? _Est-ce-que-vous pensez_ I will steal it? _Le nuit pa.s.see_ you charged me _pour deux chandelles_ when I only had one; _hier vous avez_ charged me _avec glace_ when I had none at all; _tout les jours_ you are coming some fresh game or other upon me, _mais vous ne pouvez pas_ play this _savon_ dodge on me twice. _Savon_ is a necessary _de la vie_ to anybody but a Frenchman, _et je l'aurai hors de cette hotel_ or make trouble. You hear me.--_Allons._

BLUCHER.'"