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"You knew them. Some you knew well. Others you knew only by family and reputation."
"If you tell me about them now, I'll remember what you say."
"I don't doubt it. But for now, you shouldn't know them. They must see that you don't know them, see how much has been taken from you. Just be yourself. They should see that you have been seriously wounded, but that it hasn't destroyed you."
"It has destroyed who I was."
"Not as thoroughly as you think, child." He gave me a long, quiet look. "Did you taste Daniel's blood?"
The question surprised me. "I will taste it," I said. "I will when I've survived all this," I said. "When I believe I can join with someone and not have it be a death sentence for either of us. And when I've grown a little more."
"He said he offered himself to you."
"And I promised that I would mate with him and his brothers. But not now."
He smiled. "Good. Even alone, you're the best mate my sons' sons could hope for. They all want you."
"Daniel said that Hayden-"
"Don't worry about Hayden. He likes you, Shori. He's just afraid for the family, afraid for so much to depend on one tiny female. Once we get through this Council, I'll convince him."
I believed him.
He left us-Wright, Joel. Theodora, Celia, Brook, and me-to finish making neat rows of a hundred and fifty chairs. There was room for more, and there were more chairs if it turned out that more symbionts wanted to observe, but most of them had intended to be outside roasting meat over contained fires-barbeque pits-and eating and drinking too much. With the rain, many were partying inside the houses. There was even a small party for the children of the Gordon symbionts.
Wright had decided to stay with me through the proceedings, although I had told him he could go enjoy himself if he wanted to. After the chairs and the folding tables had been set up as Preston had instructed, I told Celia, Brook, Joel, and Theodora that they could go or stay as they chose. Joel stayed, probably because he knew Wright was staying. Brook and Celia went off to renew old friends.h.i.+ps, and Theodora went with them. Theodora seemed cheerful and excited.
"I've moved to Mars," she told me. "Now I've got to go learn how to be a good Martian. Who better to teach me than the other immigrants?"
It surprised me that I understood what she meant. And it pleased me that she was so happy. There was no feeling of stress or falseness about her; she was truly happy.
"She's exactly where she wants to be," Wright said when she was gone. "She's with you, and you're going to keep her with you. As far as she's concerned, she's died and gone to heaven. People keep falling in love with you, Shori-men, women, old, young-it doesn't seem to matter."
I looked up at him, surprised that I understood him, too. "Why don't you want to learn from the other immigrants?" I asked.
"Oh, I do," he said and grinned at me. "Of course I do. But right now, I want to learn from the Martians themselves."
"You want to see how the Council works."
"Exactly."
"So do I, although I wish I were doing it as just an interested spectator." We finished our part of the preparation-bringing trays with covered pitchers of water and plastic cups to the storage building. We distributed them among the front tables for the Council members and put some on the tables next to the wall in the back for everyone else. Then we chose seats in the first row. I thought I should be in the front so that I could stand and speak when necessary, and I wanted Joel and Wright beside me since they'd chosen to stay.
"Have you ever been to one of these Council meetings?" Wright asked Joel, surprising me. With me encouraging them, giving them small commands, they had recently begun to speak to one another beyond what was absolutely necessary.
"I never have," Joel said. "There's never been one here during my lifetime, not while I was at home, anyway."
There was something comforting about having them on either side of me. They eased the stress I had been feeling without their doing anything at all.
Ina and some symbionts had begun to come in and choose seats. This first night of the Council was to begin at nine and run until five the next morning.
There was no special clothing worn by members of the Council or by audience members except for the many jackets and coats. The building was unheated, and the symbionts seemed to need extra clothing over their jeans and sweats.h.i.+rts, their casual dresses, or their party clothing. Several symbionts came in from their parties, apparently deciding that they preferred to watch the proceedings of the Council to eating, drinking, and dancing. Earlier that evening, just after it was fully dark, Joel and I had wandered into the noisiest party-the one at William's house-for a few moments to see, as Joel said, what was going on. It was the first time I could remember seeing people dance to music that was being played on a stereo.
"It looks like fun," I said.
Joel smiled. "It is fun. Want to learn?"
"I do," I said. "But not now. Not tonight." And we had gone back to help with the preparations. I looked back, though, liking the joy and the sweat and the easy s.e.xiness of it all, wis.h.i.+ng I could have stayed and let him teach me.
Twenty-two.
Ironically, the oldest person present was Milo Silk. He was 541 years old-ancient even for an Ina. According to the world history I had been reading, when he was born, there were no Europeans in the Americas or Australia. Ferdinand and Isabella, who would someday send Christopher Columbus out exploring, were not yet even married. All Ina were in Europe and the Middle East, traveling with Gypsies, blending as best they could into more stationary populations or even finding their ways into this or that aristocracy or royal court. That world was Mars to me, and if Milo Silk were anyone else, I would have wanted very much to spend time with him and hear any stories he would tell about the worlds of his childhood and youth.
As things were, though, I had avoided him and his family until now. And yet, he was asked to bless the opening of Council proceedings. I thought they should have changed the custom and invited an elder who was less involved in causing suffering and death to speak what Preston had told me should be words of unity and peace. But everyone seemed to expect Milo to do it. After all, he hadn't been judged guilty of anything-yet.
Milo Silk stood up in his place directly across from where I had eventually been told to sit. He and I were at opposite ends of a broad arc of cloth-draped, metal-framed tables. Twelve members of the Council sat two to a table. The odd Council member, Peter Marcu, had a table to himself, as did Milo Silk and I and Preston Gordon, who sat at the center of the arc and who was moderating and representing the host family.
The Gordon symbionts had set up a sound system. They'd scattered speakers along the length of the big room and put on each of the tables a slender, flexible microphone for each person. There was also a standalone microphone centered between the two p.r.o.ngs of the arc of tables.
Martin Harrison had shown me how to use my microphone-how to turn it on or off, how to take it from its stand and hold it if I wanted to, how close to it I should be when I spoke into it. Wright and Joel had watched all this, looking around as the other Council members and Milo were seated. Then Wright kissed me on the forehead and said, confusingly, "Break a leg." Then he'd gone back to his seat in the front row where he had left his jacket holding his chair and sat there alone.
Joel had stayed with me a little longer, holding my hands between his. "Are you afraid?" he asked.
I shook my head. "Nervous, but not afraid. I wish it were over."
He grinned. "You'll impress the h.e.l.l out of them." He kissed the palms of my hands-each of them-then went back to sit one seat from Wright, my former seat empty between them.
No one had told them they couldn't sit at the table with me, and I would have been happy to have them there. Even before I sat down at the table, it had looked like a lonely place. But both men had seen, as I had, that there were only Ina at the tables, and they had drawn their own conclusions. They were probably right. Moments later, Brook came in and sat down between them.
Then Preston stood up, introduced himself, welcomed everyone, and asked Milo to bless the meeting.
Milo stood up and, microphone in hand, began to speak.
"May we remember always that we are Ina," he said in his deep, quiet voice. "We are an ancient and honorable people with more than ten thousand years of recorded history. We are a proud and powerful people, well aware of our duty to our families, to our kind, and to the truths that make us who we are. May we look after our human symbionts with kindness and firmness. May we care for them and keep them from harm. May we be loving, loyal, and generous to our mates. May the proceedings of this Council of Judgment be carried on with honor, justice, and truth. May we remember and honor the G.o.ddess as we strive to do and to be all that she expects of us. May we put aside those things that do not honor her. May we put them aside and take care never again to be touched by them, never seduced by them, never soiled by them. May we remember always that our strength flows from our uniqueness and our unity. We are Ina! That is what this Council must protect. Now, then! Let us begin." He closed his straight line of a mouth and sat down.
Milo had looked directly at me as he spoke his last few sentences. He was straight bodied and white haired, six and a half feet tall, and even leaner than most Ina. He was sharp featured and fierce looking somehow. If he were human, I wouldn't have been surprised to hear that he was sixty, perhaps sixty-five years old. He had, I thought, spoken condescendingly of human symbionts and contemptuously of me, and yet in his deep voice, his words had had a majestic sound to them.
Preston Gordon straightened in his seat at the center of the arc. I got the impression Preston was actually enjoying his position. He repeated his welcome to the members of the Council, their deputies, and their symbionts. He a.s.sured them that if they needed or wanted anything at all, they had only to speak to a member of the Gordon family. Then he introduced each Council member, although probably everyone knew them except me, some of the newer symbionts, and, ironically, some of the younger Silks. I listened carefully and remembered. Preston had already told me a little about each of the visiting families. Now I was getting a chance to put faces to the names.
There was Zoe Fotopoulos, whose family had once lived in Greece, but who, for a century now, lived on a cattle ranch in Montana.
There was Joan Braithwaite, whom I was glad to see again and whose family lived in western Oregon where they raised, among other things, Christmas trees.
There was Alexander Svoboda, whose family had come from what was, at the time, Czechoslovakia a few years before World War II to establish a community in the northern Sierra Nevada Mountains where they now owned a vacation resort.
Peter Marcu had come down from British Columbia where his family owned several tourist-oriented businesses, including one that helicoptered tourists to isolated areas and guided them on memorable mountain hikes.
Vladimir Leontyev and his family had lived in Alaska since Alaska was still Russian territory. They owned a fleet of fis.h.i.+ng boats and interests in a cannery and a plant that processed frozen food.
Ana Morariu's family were neighbors of the Gordons, living only about two hundred miles away in Humboldt County where several of her people were teachers, writers, and artists and owned two hotels that served people visiting the national and state parks.
Katharine Dahlman's family ran a ranch that was a tourist resort in Arizona, but they were planning to move to Canada, away from the sun and toward the longer nights of northern winters. Katharine and her sister Sophia were noticeably short for Ina women. In fact, that was the first thing I noticed about them. Other Ina females who had come to the Council were at least six feet tall. But the Dahlmans were only Celia's height, and Celia had told me she was five feet seven inches tall. She'd said she liked being around me since other Ina females made her feel short. She had measured me gleefully and discovered I was an inch under five feet tall. But I still had some growing to do. I wondered how Katharine and Sophia Dahlman felt about their height.
Alice Rappaport's family had a ranch in Texas where she was, for legal reasons, actually married to her first. He had taken her name legally and was enjoying himself, doing what he had always wanted to do: run a ranch and run it profitably. Alice, her sister, and the six symbionts they had brought with them were using the living, dining, and family rooms of the guest house as their quarters so I'd had a chance to talk to them. According to Alice, female Ina families had pa.s.sed for human for thousands of years by marrying male symbionts and organizing their communities to look like human villages.
Harold Westfall was also married to his first for legal as well as social reasons. He lived in South Carolina and felt that anything he could do to seem normal and unworthy of notice was a good thing. He and his family had been in South Carolina for 160 years, and yet I got the impression that he still was not comfortable there. I wondered why he stayed.
Kira Nicolau and her family had left Romania for Russia, then left Russia just before the Communist Revolution in 1917, and had eventually settled in Idaho in a valley so isolated that they felt they had no reason to put on a show of human normality. They'd dug wells, cut their own logs, built their own cabins. They used the wind and sun to make their electricity, planted their crops and kept enough chickens, hogs, goats, and milk cows to supply their symbionts with food and make a small profit. They shopped maybe twice a year to buy the things they either couldn't make or didn't want to bother making. If they hadn't had to visit their mates and attend the occasional Council of Judgment, they might have vanished completely from the awareness of other Ina.
Ion Andrei, on the other hand, lived in a suburb of Chicago. His family, too, were planning to move to Canada. They owned interests in several Chicago businesses. They had been in the Chicago area for over a century, but now they were beginning to feel swallowed by the growing population.
During the northern hemisphere's winter, Walter Nagy and his family lived on a farm on Was.h.i.+ngton's Olympic Peninsula. During the southern hemisphere's winter, the whole family moved to a ranch in Argentina. In fact, they had just gotten back from Argentina. "We could get even more hours of darkness if we moved farther north and farther south," he had told me when I met him. "But we like comfort, too. We don't mind a little cold weather, but do mind snow and ice." His family also owned income property in New York City and in Palo Alto and San Francisco. The few among them who bothered to work were artists, writers, and musicians.
Finally, there was Elizabeth Akhmatova, whose family lived in Colorado in a Rocky Mountain community. They had gradually developed the land surrounding their community, building houses, stores, shops, and a nearby resort area until a fair-sized town had grown around them. They had held on to the property until it became popular and highly valued, and now, they were gradually selling it off at very high prices. She and her family had come to North America in 1875, and they were about to make their third major move, this time to Canada. They liked to find areas with potential, acquire vast stretches of land, and develop it.
Preston introduced them all, then introduced me and welcomed me. Finally, he asked me to stand and tell my story.
I stood, holding my microphone the way Milo had. I began my story with my first memory of awakening in the cave, confused, in pain, without my memory, and racked with intense hunger. I told them about Hugh Tang-all of it-about the ruin that I had not recognized as my home, about Wright and my father and the destruction of my father's community-the whole story up to and including the raid on the Gordons and the capturing and questioning of Victor and his two friends. The telling took more than an hour.
At last, I finished and sat down. There were several seconds of absolute silence. Then Milo Silk stood up. "Does this child have an advocate?" he demanded. He spoke the word "child" as though he wanted to say a much nastier word but restrained himself.
Before I could say that I didn't yet have an advocate, Vladimir Leontyev spoke up.
"I am one of the fathers of Shori Matthews's mothers," he said. "I believe I'm her nearest living relative on the Council. My brothers and I may be her nearest living relatives period. If Shori wishes it, I will be her advocate."
I leaned forward so that I could see him and said, "I must ask questions because of my memory loss. I mean no offense, Vladimir, but if you become my advocate, will it be a problem that you and I don't really know each other anymore?"
"It won't be a problem," he said. "Family is what matters here. You are of great importance to me because you are one of my descendants."
"Will you speak for me or will you help me understand rules and customs so that I can speak for myself?"
"Both, probably," he said, "but I would prefer the latter."
I nodded. "So would I. I understand that the Silks will also have to have an advocate."
Vladimir gave me a small smile, then looked at Milo Silk. "Who on the Council will be your family's advocate, Milo?"
"I speak for my family," he said.
Preston Gordon said, "Milo, in our negotiations with your family, one of your sons mentioned that a member of the Dahlman family might be persuaded to be your advocate."
"When have you known me to need someone to speak for me?" he demanded.
Preston looked at him, looked down at his own spidery hands resting on the table, then faced Milo again. "Let me advise you, just this once. Your family needs more protection than you can give it. Don't let your pride destroy your family."
Milo looked away from him, kept quiet for several seconds. After a while, he said, "Katharine Dahlman is the oldest daughter of my sisters," Milo said. "I ask that she be my advocate."
Katharine Dahlman managed, by sitting very straight, to look not only important, but a little taller. She lowered her head in a slow nod. "Of course," she said in a deep, quiet contralto-a female version of Milo's voice. It was the voice of a larger woman, somehow. "Will you question the child, Milo, or shall I?"
Milo looked down at the table, and I remembered that he had been writing while I spoke. Perhaps he had not trusted the two video cameras that were being used to record the session. Perhaps he had made notes of the questions he wanted to ask me. Or perhaps he had his own memory problems. I faced him across the arc, ready to be questioned, but he turned his body and tried to face Preston.
"I have my doubts, Preston, whether this child should even be here," he said. "She has suffered terrible losses, and she admits that she hasn't recovered from her injuries."
I resisted an impulse to say that I had recovered, or had recovered as much as I was likely to. Instead, I waited to see what Preston would say. He looked at me, then at Vladimir.
Vladimir said, "Shori, have you recovered from your injuries?"
"I am recovered," I said. "My memory may or may not return. I'm beginning to relearn what I've lost, and I remember clearly all that has happened to me since I awoke in the cave." I looked across at Milo and decided that he would speak directly to me in a minute or two. He didn't want to, but he would.
"Has the child been examined by a physician?" Milo asked. "I understand there is a human physician among the symbionts here. If not, one of my family's symbionts is a physician."
That was too much. I had been at Punta Nublada long enough to recognize that Milo was being openly insulting. He was saying that my body was not Ina enough to heal itself, that the human part of me had somehow crippled me.
"Milo!" I said, not loudly, but sharply. He looked at me before he could stop himself and then looked away smoothly, as though he had only glanced at me by accident. I leaned forward, facing him across the arc. "I am Ina, Milo."
He stared at me, then turned again to Preston. "For the child's own sake, I request that she be examined by a physician."
I said, "What are those notes you're making there, Milo? No one else is taking notes. Are you having difficulties with your memory, too?"
He glared at me. Katharine Dahlman glared at me.
"I am Ina, Milo, and if the doctor must examine me, then for your own sake, I request that she also examine you."
"You're not Ina!" he shouted. He slammed his palm down on the table, making a sound like a gunshot. "You're not! And you have no more business at this Council than would a clever dog!"
People jumped. Katharine Dahlman said, "Preston, could we break for a few minutes?" She didn't wait but stood up and went around to Milo who had risen to his feet and was leaning forward, fists on the table, glaring at me.
"Fifteen minutes," Preston said and glanced at his watch.
People poured themselves gla.s.ses of water, got up to stretch their legs, or turned to talk to one another. At first no one on the Council spoke to me. Most didn't even look at me.
Some went to speak to audience members, and Wright, Joel, and Brook took this to mean that they could come talk to me. They reached me at the same moment as Vladimir Leontyev and Joan Braithwaite.
The two Ina and the three humans stared at one another for a moment, then Joan leaned on the table, clicked off my microphone, and said, "Shori, there are people in this room who have loved that old man for centuries."
I focused on her and bit back all the things I could have said. She knew them as well as I did. That old man either ordered my families killed or sat by and watched while his sons did it. That old man had just told me I was no better than a dog because I had human as well as Ina genes. That old man is not sane. All true, all obvious.
"What should I have done?" I asked her.
She looked surprised. "Nothing," she said. "Nothing at all."
"You should have let me do it," Vladimir said. "I'm only about ninety years younger than he is. A rebuke from me would have been more easily accepted."