The Sexual Life Of The Child Part 3

In other respects, however, the voluptuous sensation and the voluptuous acme exhibit in the child an important difference from the same phenomena in the adult, to which we shall have to return later. To sum up, we may regard it as certain that erections often appear many years before the end of the second period of childhood; not infrequently, indeed, in the beginning of the second period of childhood, and even earlier. These erections may very early in life be a.s.sociated with an equable voluptuous sensation, allied to the sensations of itching or tickling.[33] The voluptuous acme and e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.n do not make their appearance until later. These statements apply, in the first place, to boys. The conditions in girls appear, however, to be a.n.a.logous. But here we must be most cautious in drawing conclusions, for the reason that the s.e.xual life of the girl is still much more obscure to us than that of the boy; this difference in our knowledge of the s.e.xes is no less marked in the case of children than it is in respect of the adult man and woman.

Hitherto we have occupied ourselves with the description of the peripheral s.e.xual organs, and of the processes of detumescence. We must now pa.s.s on to the second group of s.e.xual phenomena, the processes of contrectation. Even in childhood, these processes play an important part; indeed, they generally manifest themselves at an earlier age than the processes of detumescence. But first, let me briefly summarise Max Dessoir's account of the stages of the s.e.xual impulse--stages in which the contrectation impulse is alone concerned. In its development, three stages may be distinguished. One of these is the neutral stage, in earliest childhood, in which, speaking generally, the processes of contrectation are not yet to be observed, and during which the child does not feel attracted towards anyone in such a manner as to make it necessary for us to a.s.sume the occurrence of any psychos.e.xual process.

This stage is succeeded by the extremely important undifferentiated stage, to which Max Dessoir[34] has drawn attention. Its princ.i.p.al characteristic is indicated in its name: the direction of the impulse is not yet completely differentiated. It oscillates to and fro, and depends upon the external objects which happen to be in the vicinity. This undifferentiated stage is of profound importance; and owing to the fact that its existence has been ignored in the study of s.e.xual perversions, great confusion has arisen. During the undifferentiated period, it may happen that quite normal children exhibit h.o.m.os.e.xual excitement, whose importance is apt to be greatly over-estimated by their relatives and others. During the undifferentiated stage a boy may love one of his teachers or one of his friends, and yet in later life be perfectly normal; many a woman, again, who loves her husband ardently has earlier, during the undifferentiated period, pa.s.sionately loved a school-fellow or a governess. On the other hand, during the undifferentiated stage a boy may exhibit an inclination towards someone of the opposite s.e.x, the governess or the girl-friend of his sister, for instance; conversely, the girl may be attracted by a boy or a young man. This inclination, whether h.o.m.os.e.xual or heteros.e.xual, often leads to bodily acts, to contact with the beloved person, embraces, and kisses, without the necessary occurrence of any manifestations on the part of the external genital organs, although such manifestations may at times ensue. The undifferentiated stage is followed by the third stage, in which the contrectation impulse becomes differentiated, so that in normal individuals the s.e.xual impulse becomes unmistakably heteros.e.xual.

Normally, this differentiated stage endures until the time of the final extinction of the s.e.xual impulse.

I do not believe that an undifferentiated stage occurs in every one without exception. On the other hand, I have absolutely no doubt that it occurs very frequently indeed--far more frequently than is commonly believed--and that it occurs in persons whose subsequent s.e.xual development is perfectly normal. Moreover, during the undifferentiated stage, in addition to heteros.e.xual and h.o.m.os.e.xual inclinations, perverse sentiments may make their appearance. m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.tic, s.a.d.i.s.tic, fetichistic excitations of all kinds are met with, and s.e.xual inclination towards animals is by no means rare. As regards the last named, the inclination is directed especially towards the animals with which the child is most intimately a.s.sociated, as, for instance, a dog, a cat, a bird, a horse, and the like. Again, during the period of undifferentiated s.e.xual impulse all kinds of disordered ideas may become a.s.sociated with that impulse; for instance, an impulse may arise to touch the saliva, or some other excretory product, of the beloved being, human or animal, as the case may be, and even to take such a product into the mouth. Many persons completely forget all these manifestations of the undifferentiated s.e.xual impulse which have formed part of their own early experiences. The causes of such oblivion have been discussed in the first chapter (p. 5).

Yet another reason may be mentioned for regarding a knowledge of the undifferentiated stage of the s.e.xual impulse as of great importance. In works on the pathology of the s.e.xual impulse we are frequently a.s.sured that in this or that specific instance the perversion was inborn, because perverse sensations have existed since the days of childhood.

But the existence of the undifferentiated stage teaches us that we are not justified in inferring, from the mere fact of the primary occurrence of a "perverse" mode of s.e.xual sensibility, that this perversion is congenital; for the primary direction of the contrectation impulse during the undifferentiated stage often depends to a considerably greater extent upon chance than upon an inherited predisposition.

The undifferentiated stage begins at very various ages. I have known instances in which it could be traced back to the fifth, year of life. I regard it as probable, however, that it may begin even earlier than this. But more commonly it begins somewhat later; not infrequently at the age of seven or eight, and very often at the age of nine or ten years. As previously mentioned, I do not maintain that an undifferentiated stage is of universal occurrence. When such a stage is absent, the symptoms of the differentiated s.e.xual impulse often make their appearance at the age at which in other cases the undifferentiated stage of the impulse usually begins. In the case of a large number of men, inquiry will show that at the age of nine or ten they began to experience an inclination towards persons of the female s.e.x; in a good many this occurs even at the age of eight, and in a few yet earlier; as regards women, _mutatis mutandis_, the same conditions obtain. In cases in which an undifferentiated stage is well marked, its duration is likewise very variable. In isolated instances it lasts until the age of twenty, or even a few years longer. Ordinarily, however, the differentiation of the impulse becomes manifest at an earlier age--between the ages of fifteen and seventeen years. Beyond question, in the great majority of cases, the "perverse" sentiments of childhood subsequently disappear spontaneously. But when I come to discuss s.e.xual perversions in detail, I shall point out that this disappearance, in certain circ.u.mstances, fails to occur.

I take this opportunity of referring to a beautiful example of the undifferentiated s.e.xual impulse which is found in _Wilhelm Meisters Wanderjahren_. In the twelfth chapter of the second book, Wilhelm describes "one of the earliest incidents of his youth":--"The elder of these boys, a year or two my own senior, the son of the fisherman, seemed to take no pleasure in this sport with flowers. This boy, by whom at his first appearance I had been greatly attracted, invited me to go with him to the river, a fairly wide stream which flowed past at a little distance. We sat side by side in a shady spot with our fis.h.i.+ng-rods.... As we sat there quietly, leaning towards one another, he seemed to grow rather weary of our inaction, and he drew my attention to a flat stretch of gravel which extended from our feet beneath the surface of the water. This would be a fine place to bathe. At last, jumping to his feet, he cried out that the chance was too good to be missed, and almost before I realised his intention, he had stripped, and was in the water. Being a good swimmer, he soon left the shallows, swam across the stream, and then back again into the deep water near the bank on which I was sitting. My own mood was a strange one. Gra.s.shoppers danced round about me, ants crawled to and fro, many-coloured beetles hung from the twigs, and brilliant dragon flies hovered in the air; my companion caught sight of a great crayfish, flas.h.i.+ng merrily out from its hole beneath the roots overhanging the water, and cleverly eluding an attempt to seize it by darting back into its lair. The air was so warm and moist; in the suns.h.i.+ne one longed for the shade, and even in the coolness of the shade one longed for the still greater coolness of the water. Thus it was easy for him to entice me into the stream; his invitation, once or twice repeated, proved irresistible, notwithstanding my fear of a scolding from my parents, mingled with some dread of the unknown element. Soon I undressed upon the gravelly bank, and ventured gently into the water, not too far down the gradually shelving bank; here he let me wait awhile, swimming out himself across the stream; then he returned to my side, and as he left the water, standing upright, to dry himself in the bright suns.h.i.+ne, it seemed to me that my eyes must be dazzled by the power of the sun, so blindingly beautiful was the human form--far more beautiful than I had ever before imagined. He seemed to look at me with equal attention. Dressing quickly, we stood beside each other with all barriers broken down, our spirits were drawn closely together, and with ardent kisses we swore eternal friends.h.i.+p."

Groos rightly sees in this pa.s.sage a delicate intimation of s.e.xual sensibility. A little later we read how Wilhelm, having made an appointment with this boy to meet him one evening in the forest, encounters a young girl, a little younger than himself. "Spring flowers of all kinds were growing in the beautifully adorned fields, among the gra.s.s, and along the hedges. My companion was beautiful, blond, gentle; we walked trustingly side by side, each holding the other by the hand, and seeming to wish for nothing better in the world.... When, after the lapse of so many years, I look back upon my former state, it seems to me to have been a truly enviable one. Unexpectedly, in the same instant, I experienced the sentiments of friends.h.i.+p and of love; for as I unwillingly took leave of the beautiful child, I was consoled by the thought of explaining these ideas to my young boy-friend, by the prospect of confiding in him, and of rejoicing in his partic.i.p.ation in these newly discovered sentiments."

The following description of the period of the undifferentiated s.e.xual impulse has been placed at my disposal:--

CASE 1.--X. is now thirty-four years of age, happily married, with several healthy children. He is himself a thoroughly healthy man, with normal impulses, and free from all bodily and mental abnormality. His description of the period of the undifferentiated s.e.xual impulse may best be given in his own words. "At the age of nine, when I was still living in the country, and was being educated by a private tutor, a pa.s.sionate affection for him took possession of me. Generally speaking, he was good-natured and indulgent, but was at times strict, I used my utmost endeavours to be near him as much as possible. I was happy when he touched me. Gradually this inclination increased; everything that he had touched, everything that he had warmed with his body, I also wished to touch. If he had drunk from a gla.s.s, I secretly drank from it myself, so that my lips might touch the very spot where his had rested. At the age of ten I began to attend the public school in the town, I sat beside a fellow-pupil who, like myself, came from the country. Soon I conceived a fondness for him. He was not only my playmate, I wished always that we should do our work together; whenever he had any other companion than myself, I was profoundly unhappy. Was this jealousy? I believe it was.

When he left the school--it must have been about a year after I had entered--I was at first very unhappy, but my fondness for him was soon replaced by a pa.s.sion for his sister, a girl about twelve years of age.

I had made her acquaintance through so often working with her brother, and through visiting his parents' house. She was a pretty girl. At first, after my friend had departed, I went to the house occasionally, in order to hear some news of him, and of his doings in the school abroad to which he had been sent. In the house that had been his home I had also an indefinite feeling that I was near him once again. But gradually my liking for his sister grew, and I was glad that her parents gave me renewed invitations to the house, especially for the Sundays. To be with this girl, to play with her, were to me an enduring source of delight; and I remember that at this time I even developed a taste for girlish amus.e.m.e.nts, which had hitherto been very disagreeable to me, and for which later also my antipathy returned. Simultaneously with this fondness for the girl, when I myself was about twelve years old I was attracted by one of the schoolmasters, a man who ruled his cla.s.ses very strictly. My sentiments for this master were of exactly the same character as those with which my tutor had formerly inspired me, but the conditions of our intercourse were different, for I could see him only in school, and on very rare occasions out of school hours, whereas in the case of my tutor, who lived with us when I was at home, I could be with him as much as I desired. This fondness for my schoolmaster persisted simultaneously with the pa.s.sion for the girl. When her brother came home for the holidays, I saw him for a few days only, for I also returned home for the holidays. Although I was by no means indifferent to him, my former pa.s.sionate affection for him had entirely disappeared.

My pa.s.sion for his sister and for the schoolmaster lasted for a long time. I also fell in love with a somewhat elderly female cousin who chanced to visit our house. Growing older, I at length attained the age of p.u.b.erty, and experienced definite erections; these occurred especially when I thought of my friend's sister; or when she touched me, as occasionally happened, without, I believe, any s.e.xual feeling on her part. At this time also when erections had already begun, I still felt definitely attracted by my schoolmaster, and under the influence of this attraction erections occasionally occurred. Somewhat later came the time when I began to m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.e. I can no longer remember with certainty whether I was seduced to this practice by any of my school-fellows. We sometimes talked to one another about the matter. I continued at times to be influenced by the inclinations previously mentioned, viz., that for my schoolmaster, and that for my friend's sister. I experienced also transient pa.s.sion for one of my school-fellows, who was remarkable for his pleasing and delicately girlish exterior. It was not until several years had elapsed, and the occurrence of seminal emissions had shown that I had attained some degree of s.e.xual maturity, that all inclination towards the male s.e.x disappeared, and the inclination towards the female s.e.x persisted in isolation. When I left the town, in order to attend a different school, my fondness for my friend's sister pa.s.sed away. I was then sixteen years of age; from this time onwards my s.e.xual pa.s.sion was exhibited exclusively towards members of the female s.e.x."

CASE 2.--This case provides us with another description of the undifferentiated s.e.xual impulse. X. is thirty years of age. No morbid condition is demonstrable in him. He remembers that the first sentiments which he regards as s.e.xual were experienced by him in the country. His home was in a town, but during the holidays he was sent to board in the country, in the house of a clergyman. He played much in the open air, and he still recalls quite distinctly the pa.s.sion with which, first of all, he approached animals. "As if by an irresistible impulse I was attracted, now by a goat, now by a dog, sometimes even by a horse. No excitement of the genital organs was noticeable at this time, but I have no doubt whatever now that these inclinations were s.e.xual in their nature. Not only did I touch the animals, but I embraced them and kissed them. The warmth and the odour proceeding from such an animal, which is now as a rule distasteful to me, was then a source of pleasure. When I left the country, I took these memories away with me, but gradually they faded and became faint. Next a fondness for one of my school-fellows became most marked, and this lasted for a long time. I know not how to describe the feeling I had for him otherwise than as an immeasurable, pa.s.sionate love. I was unhappy when I sat above him in the cla.s.s.

Occasionally we sat side by side, but not always, since our places were determined by our performances in cla.s.s. If I was sitting next above him, it was a joy to me to fail deliberately to answer a question, simply in order to enable him to take my place, and thus to give him pleasure. This relations.h.i.+p continued undisturbed for several years; we rose together from cla.s.s to cla.s.s and remained friends. Not until the beginning of the true p.u.b.eral development did this fondness begin to wane. I began to learn dancing rather early, and in the dancing-cla.s.s was a girl by whom I was now greatly attracted. She was of the same age as myself--fourteen years. As far as I can remember, my inclinations were now confined for a time to my boy companion and to this girl. At first my affection for the boy was the greater, but gradually my affection for the girl, who was healthy and vivacious in appearance, became stronger. Still, this pa.s.sion was a fire of straw, for though, in the course of the next few years, my fondness for the boy gradually declined, whilst my affection for the girl grew stronger, yet later this girl was expelled from my circle of interests by others, my inclinations changing rapidly from one girl to another. h.o.m.os.e.xual sentiments hardly existed any more. Very occasionally, indeed, even up to my twentieth year, a certain interest was aroused in me by any youth with a truly girlish, milk-white countenance. But subsequently this h.o.m.os.e.xual inclination disappeared entirely, and my heteros.e.xual development was completed, so that I am now, I believe, in every respect a healthy male."

CASE 3.--Next we have the case of a woman, now married and twenty-six years of age, in whom also the undifferentiated s.e.xual impulse was clearly manifested. From the age of eight to the age of fifteen years she attended a day-school for girls, and subsequently, after receiving private tuition for a time, went to a boarding-school. "In my earlier years I can recall no feelings for my school-fellows beyond those of simple friends.h.i.+p. We kissed one another, but no more intimate contact took place. In these kisses, I was not aware of any sentiment exceeding pure friends.h.i.+p; and to-day when I thoroughly understand the nature of the kiss of erotic love, I do not believe that there was any erotic element intermingled with these first kisses. Such simple friendliness towards my fellow-schoolgirls persisted unaltered even after in my tenth year I first experienced a sentiment of enthusiastic devotion. This latter was inspired by an actress, a remarkably beautiful woman visiting our town--I lived then in a town of medium size--whose pictures were displayed in all the shop windows. Although I realised later that her talents were by no means of a high order, and notwithstanding the fact that I never saw her on the stage, I conceived for her an enthusiastic admiration. I tried from time to time, when I could do so without being observed, to catch a glimpse of her in the street; almost the only possible opportunity was when she was on her way to rehearsals. When the actress went away, her place in my heart was occupied by a schoolmaster of typically masculine appearance, with a full, fair beard. He gave us lessons in history, literature, and German. Nearly all the cla.s.s were fascinated by him, and I by no means less than the others. This admiration lasted almost the whole of the remaining time during which I attended the school. When I went to the boarding-school, being now somewhat older, and regarded as almost a young woman, I was allowed to witness a representation of Faust. The part of Gretchen was played by an actress who is still of note to-day, and she made a most enduring impression on me. To my great delight I was unexpectedly presented to her, and she wrote a line or two in my alb.u.m. Unfortunately, the headmistress would not allow us to go often to the theatre, a prohibition doubtless in part dependent on the high prices of the seats.

But I still remember quite distinctly how I trembled with joy whenever I was allowed to go. I remember, too, that on one occasion, in which it had been arranged that I was to go to see a play in which this actress did not appear, I shammed illness in order to save up the price of the seat, go that I might use it on another occasion, on which I should be able to see her. This particular enthusiasm lasted as long as I remained at the boarding-school. When later I grew old enough to marry, and when with the approval of my parents a gentleman who appeared to love me (though, in fact, I think he was influenced rather by prudential motives) began to pay me his addresses, my fondness for the actress soon began to fade away. Even at the present day, however, I esteem this artiste very highly indeed, and the impression which she made on my imagination will never be entirely expunged from my memory. If I were to see her to-day, I should willingly kiss her hands, in thankfulness for the happy hours she has given me; but I do not believe that any erotic element now remains in my feeling for her. I may add that I do not love my husband pa.s.sionately, although I love him well enough. Physical contact with the actress of whom I have spoken would not be positively repulsive to me, but such contact would, as far as I am concerned, be entirely devoid of s.e.xual feeling, and the idea of s.e.xual contact with a person of my own s.e.x is very unpleasant to me; whereas in s.e.xual intercourse with my husband I am perfectly normal." This patient does not belong to the cla.s.s of s.e.xually anaesthetic women; she feels the impulse towards s.e.xual intercourse, and in intercourse she experiences normal enjoyment.

I shall now discuss some of the general phenomena of the contrectation impulse in the child. Sanford Bell has published cases in which as early as the age of two years psychos.e.xual phenomena have been observed. But in many of Bell's cases a s.e.xual basis for the feelings of attraction does not appear to have been adequately proved to exist. Unquestionably, however, s.e.xual phenomena are more frequently observed in proportion as the child's age increases. Although in the case of children it is very difficult for others to arrive at certainty regarding the s.e.xual or non-s.e.xual character of certain manifestations, still, in the eighth year of life, the phenomena of the contrectation impulse become so frequent--I am referring here to personal observations--that at this time of life these phenomena must be regarded, not merely as not pathological, but further, as not even abnormal. The older the child becomes, the more are the phenomena of the contrectation impulse complicated by those of detumescence. The processes of contrectation, however, may continue to manifest themselves during the first years of the period of youth in complete isolation from any apparent changes in the genital organs. The manifestations of what is known as "calf-love"

commonly occur quite independently of any thought of s.e.xual contact.

Very various are the objects of this early attraction. Often a boy is attracted by a girl of about his own age; often, again, by a girl considerably older than himself. On the other hand, as has been previously shown, when the s.e.xual attraction felt by the boy is exhibited towards one of his own s.e.x, it may sometimes happen that the object of attraction is a boy of his own age, sometimes a man considerably older than himself. By no means rare are s.e.xual inclinations on the part of boys towards their masters--in some cases a private tutor; in others, a schoolmaster. With girls similar variations are observed. A girl may love another girl of her own age, and this is extremely common in the case of girls at boarding-schools. But a boy, a friend of her brother's, may be the object of a girl's affection.

Frequently, again, a girl may become attached to some one considerably older than herself, commonly a master or a governess. Persons playing some conspicuous part in life very readily inspire love: an artist, for instance; or an actress, about whom all the papers are writing, and of whom everyone is talking. In many cases, the personal appearance plays a considerable part in originating the attraction. At times, indeed, affection is inspired by individuals devoid of all personal charm. But, speaking generally, we shall find that to the child, no less than to the adult, in s.e.xual relations.h.i.+ps beauty is by no means indifferent. A pretty girl is more attractive to a boy than an ugly one. A handsome master will charm a girl much more than one who is ill-favoured or deformed. Other qualities besides beauty affect the issue. Effeminate boys or tomboyish girls are apt to be repulsive to other children; they are exposed to mockery and teasing of all kinds, and are very unlikely to give rise to erotic sentiments in their companions. It is by no means rare for the inclinations of children to be directed towards their own parents. In the case of many children who are fond of "getting into mother's bed," s.e.xual sentiments lie at the root of the desire.

Moreover, it is occasionally a.s.serted that s.e.xual differentiation manifests itself in this connexion in very early childhood, the little boy preferring to cuddle his mother; the little girl, on the other hand, to be caressed by her father. In the chapter on diagnosis, I shall consider the distinction of such s.e.xual inclinations from other sympathetic feelings manifested in childhood. It is a remarkable fact that the first s.e.xual inclinations are very rarely directed towards a child's own brother or sister. I have, indeed, been able to observe a considerable number of such exceptional instances, both h.o.m.os.e.xual and heteros.e.xual in character. But, I repeat, such cases are comparatively rare. We must not, of course, confuse with genuine s.e.xual inclinations and acts, cases in which from curiosity alone brothers and sisters indulge together in obscene conversation and even improper practices.

Unquestionably, the lack of s.e.xual sympathy between brothers and sisters depends upon a deeply rooted psychological causation. Above all, in this connexion, we have to bear in mind the slight degree of influence each exercises on the senses of the other, precisely in consequence of the long-continued, comparatively unrestrained intercourse between them.

Further, the conventional factors implanted in mankind from earliest childhood play their part. Many, perhaps, will see an additional cause in teleological considerations, aiming at the avoidance of in-and-in breeding.

Many lovers incline to the romantic transfiguration of the object of their affection, a process in which the imagination plays an important part; but for this to be possible, it is, of course, necessary that an age should have been attained at which the imagination is sufficiently active. The age at which the child has learned to delight in fairy-tales is here of importance; from the contents of such fairy-tales all kinds of ideas are transferred to the s.e.xual sphere. Romantic embellishment plays a great part not merely in childhood, but also later in life; but in childhood, this tendency often exists to an extraordinary degree. The person whom a boy loves must be very highly placed; for example, during the period of the undifferentiated s.e.xual impulse, he prefers a boy of the highest possible birth. Similarly, a young girl who loves a boy will invest him in imagination with every possible attribute of distinction and high rank. Often the love is directed towards a person of no concrete existence, or towards one who is unattainable.[35] We may sometimes be in doubt whether we have to do with s.e.xual love, or whether some other sentiment may not be in operation. For example, the devotion to some saint of either s.e.x may overpower all other feelings. Where a child is enamoured of some definite individual, self-deception occurs just as it does in adults similarly situated. The faults of the beloved one are imaginatively trans.m.u.ted into virtues, or any possible excuse is found for them. Is a boy attracted by a girl known to be habitually untruthful? Especially when himself unaware that his interest is s.e.xual, he looks out for every merit she may possibly possess, in order that his fondness may be justified. Her untruthfulness is transfigured as caution and cleverness; her vanity becomes neatness; idleness is excused on the ground that she has to attend to more important duties; and the boy regards his interest in the girl as exclusively friendly in character, and as justified by her superlative excellences. Sometimes, in children no less than in adults, a s.e.xual inclination masquerades as an educational interest. Thus, under the influence of s.e.xual attraction, a girl becomes intimate with a boy endowed with various bad qualities and impulses, and endeavours to utilise this intimacy for the boy's advantage, in order that he may free himself of his faults as he grows to manhood. Such a girl may succeed in persuading herself that this motive is the exclusive cause of her interest in the boy. A similar combination of educational and s.e.xual motives is, moreover, often encountered in the case of h.o.m.os.e.xual sentiments.

The child's s.e.xual inclination may manifest itself in many different ways. It seeks every opportunity of seeing, of being in close proximity to, of touching, and of kissing the beloved person. Thus, many a boy takes part in the common sports, solely because the girl whom he loves is one of the players. Sanford Bell mentions numerous games in which children find pleasure chiefly for the reason that kissing plays a princ.i.p.al part in them. For kissing is one of the leading manifestations of s.e.xual desire; and another is the wish for close proximity to and for embracing the beloved person. A mother who kept a close watch on her eight-year-old daughter told me that when in play a boy of ten pressed close up against the girl; they kissed one another somewhat pa.s.sionately, and the boy broke out in the nave utterance, "You don't know how fond I am of you; I do love you so." Not infrequently, indeed, children are really troublesome to adults in their desire for close physical contact. I have known instances in which young women or girls have been intolerably annoyed by boys eight or nine years of age, who have continually followed them about and pressed up against them; this has gone on for a long time without those concerned recognising the s.e.xual foundation of such conduct. Love on the part of children almost invariably gives rise to the desire for physical contact of some kind.

Of course, other manifestations also occur. Besides the contemplation of the beloved person, contemplation of his or her picture plays a notable part. A s.e.xual motive occasionally underlies the wrestling so common among boys--in such cases it is the manifestation of a desire for intimate physical contact with the beloved boy. According to Sanford Bell, a boy and a girl may also wrestle with one another with the same end in view of attaining intimate contact; and he states that children lift one another with the same object. Moreover, children are induced to wrestle by s.e.xual motives of a somewhat different character; the wish is operative to be overcome by, or, it may be, to overcome, the beloved boy. Herein we see displayed very clearly those s.e.xual feelings known to us in adults under the names of masochism and sadism; the same feelings are occasionally observed also in childhood; in some cases as manifestations of the undifferentiated s.e.xual impulse, in others as manifestations of developing s.e.xual perversions.

The more intensely pa.s.sionate the love of the child, the more fantastical is its conduct. The child sometimes endeavours to imitate the beloved person in every detail, often with the most ridiculous results. A boy's mode of dress, even, may be influenced by his love for a girl, and still more by his love for another boy. The child tries also to imitate the movements of the beloved person, and in walking to tread in the same footsteps. The youthful knight seeks in every possible way to become pleasing to the girl of his choice, and to exhibit to her every attention in his power. He does all this, not merely in imitation of the conduct of grown-up persons, but for the gratification of his own impulses. Sometimes we are able to observe the changes of mood that occur in the child when the loved one is present or absent. The boy bubbles over with joy when the girl he loves draws near; sorrow and depression overwhelm him when the hour of parting is at hand. All kinds of fetichistic sentiments are also met with even in childhood. Every object belonging to the loved one is covered with pa.s.sionate kisses; and everything which has been touched by the beloved, has been endowed for the child-lover with a quite exceptional value. "Those lovely girls whom kindly or cruel Nature has predestined to awaken desire and to call forth sighs at every footstep they take, are often unaware that among the crowd of their admirers are numbered boys also, who have hardly outgrown the age of childhood, who kiss in secret every flower which their beloved has let fall, who are happy if they have been able to steal like thieves into the room in which the fair one has slept, who kiss the carpet where her foot has pressed, to whom she is the most wonderful creature in the universe. And when a young woman allows a boy to sit on the ground beside her, resting his head on her knee, when her fingers play lightly among his curls, how rarely does she know that his heart is beating furiously under her caressing touch; when he throws back his curly head, and she sees that his face is reddened, she does not know that this is not simply on account of the heat of the fire, but that he is glowing from the effect of an internal fire whose nature is a mystery even to himself--the fire of Love."[36]

Children have also ample experience of jealousy. A boy is tortured by its pangs when he sees his much-loved friend conversing with another. A girl of ten may suffer from sleepless nights when the governess she loves has spoken affectionately to another girl. A child may wait for hours before the door or in the neighbourhood of the beloved person, simply to s.n.a.t.c.h a glance in pa.s.sing. Speaking generally, it appears to me that children are jealous of adults to a less extent than they are jealous of children of their own age.

Very frequently even in childhood s.e.xuality gives rise to enduring imaginative s.e.xual activity. There results that which Hufeland in his _Makrobiotik_ terms psychical onanism, viz., the imaginative contemplation of a train of lascivious and voluptuous ideas. In many instances there even results a poetical treatment of the s.e.xual topic.

Among children, love-letters also play their part. Sometimes, indeed, their contents is so harmless that the s.e.xual motive remains unsuspected; but in other cases, the child's sentiments are clearly displayed, even when the whole character of the letter is extremely nave. Sometimes the letter appears out of harmony with the child's conduct in other respects. For example, I have seen cases in which, though in conversation children spoke to one another in an impa.s.sioned manner as "darling" and "my dear love," no such expressions were used by them in their letters. Verses are also composed by comparatively youthful lovers. As we should expect, such verses are commonly deficient in the matter of artistic technique. A lady who, when twelve years of age, had been enamoured of her governess, copied for me from her alb.u.m the following verses:--

"Es gibt nichts schoneres auf der Welt, Als wenn einem ein Wesen besonders gefallt; Und fuhlt man sich gezogen hin Zu einer sussen Lehrerin, Das ist ein Gluck.

Und liebt man sie so inniglich, Dann furchtet wohl gar sehr man sich Vorm Abschiedtag..."

"Of all things sweet beneath the sun, The sweetest is to love but one; And when the object of one's fondness Is one's darling governess, Supreme the joy.

And if one love her so intensely, Then, of course, one dreads immensely The day of parting...."

In this style the poem continues for some time, and occasionally we come to verses showing that jealousy was felt:--

"O! Du Pauline sei kein Dieb, Raub' mir nicht Fraulein ----'s Lieb'.

Die Eifersucht, die qualt mich sehr Und noch mit jedem Tage mehr.

Sie sucht mich heim selbst in der Nacht.

O Liebe, Du hast dies vollbracht."

"Pauline, you my anger move, Stealing my Miss ----'s love.

From jealousy I've no release; Day by day my pangs increase; I've jealous thoughts too in the night.

Love, I suffer from thy might."

Many of the accompaniments of love may make their appearance the very first time the pa.s.sion awakens, such as the desire to please and to astonish the object of affection, whether by mental or by bodily excellence, A schoolmaster, of whom a child is enamoured, will frequently find that this child is more obedient and more diligent than all the others, the child endeavouring in every possible way to inspire a reciprocal admiration. I remember a girl who during her first years at school was extremely idle. Although by no means lacking in intelligence, all the efforts spent on her failed to bring about a proper advance. All at once she became most industrious; no task was too hard for her, and everyone wondered at the sudden change, until after a time the enigma was explained. The child, having conceived a great fondness for her schoolmistress, wished to please the latter by attention to her lessons.

In addition, she was jealous; afraid lest the mistress should prefer some other girl. In many instances, where a child's behaviour is puzzling, such a solution of the riddle will become apparent when it is looked for. Boys, again, endeavour by feats of strength to make the greatest possible impression upon the girls of their choice, in gymnastic exercises, for example, in athletic sports, and games.

Coquetry also occasionally manifests itself very early in life. Girls try to please boys by their dress, and in similar ways. In boys also similar phenomena may often be observed.

Vanity, too, plays an important part, and this all the more because a child often wishes to appear older than his years, and despises childish ways. If a boy loves a girl several years older than himself, his sensitive pride will suffer if, as usually happens in such cases, the girl treats him as a child. Goethe, who at the age of ten was inspired by such a pa.s.sion, describes it in _Wahrheit und Dichtung_. "Young Derones introduced me to his sister, who was a few years older than myself, a very agreeable girl, well-grown, regularly formed, a brunette, with black hair and eyes. Her whole expression was quiet, and even sad.

I tried to please her in every possible way, but could not succeed in attracting her attention. Young girls are apt to regard themselves as greatly in advance of boys a little younger than themselves, and whilst they look up to young men, they a.s.sume the manners of an aunt towards any boy who makes them the object of his first love."

The sense of shame makes its appearance in childhood. Havelock Ellis and others indeed deny this, pointing out how readily shyness is mistaken for the sense of shame. The error is common enough, but it certainly does not apply to all cases, for even in childhood we often enough encounter distinct manifestations of the s.e.xual sense of shame. I shall not here discuss the question to what extent this sense is innate and to what extent acquired, since the matter will come up for consideration in later part of this book. Unquestionably, during childhood, the sense of shame in respect of certain processes may be awakened by means of imitation and education. Thus we may observe that many children, boys as well as girls, are greatly distressed, at any rate during the second period of childhood, at having to undress in the presence of others, and especially in the presence of persons of the opposite s.e.x. It is interesting to learn that many h.o.m.os.e.xuals declare that even during childhood they felt ashamed when they were compelled to undress before someone of their own s.e.x, whereas in the presence of a person of the opposite s.e.x they were comparatively unashamed.

Sanford Bell is of opinion that girl-children, although in them as in boys the sense of shame awakens comparatively early, are yet more aggressive than boys. I have not myself been able to observe any such difference. In the earlier years of childhood I have been unable to detect any notable difference in this respect between the s.e.xes; but during the latter part of the second period of childhood, boys are unquestionably more active. In general, the girl-child, when in love, displays far less coyness and reserve than the young woman. In this respect the difference between children and adults is most marked. A girl of eleven, for example, will not make any difficulties about the exchange of love-letters with the boy she loves, or about appointments for secret meetings; whereas the young woman, at any rate when well-behaved and well brought up, is cautious in such matters. But none the less, I cannot admit that girls are more free in their behaviour in these respects than boys. We must not forget that many typical s.e.xual differences do not develop until later in life; for this reason, if we observe in respect of the sense of shame that girls seem somewhat defective, we must contrast their condition with that which will subsequently develop as age advances, and not expect to find prematurely in the girl a keener sense of shame than is exhibited by the boy.

Sanford Bell believes that at a certain period during childhood, namely, between eight and twelve years of age, manifestations of love are less noticeable than either earlier or later. He alleges as the reason of this that at this particular age the child tends to conceal its fondness from others, and perhaps even from the person beloved; hence it is difficult during these years to observe the phenomena. According to this view, the difference is apparent merely, and depends only upon greater secretiveness. It may, indeed, be regarded as proved that in the course of development, especially in the case of boys, there are certain years during which children are less inclined to seek the company of those of the opposite s.e.x than either before or afterwards. This occurs especially during the period of hobbledehoyhood, during which boys take pleasure above all in rough sports. It has, indeed, been suggested that this phenomenon has a teleological significance, that nature is here pursuing a quite definite aim, to minimise by means of s.e.xual antipathy the danger attendant on the awakening of the s.e.xual impulse. We must not, however, over-value this self-help of the part of nature [if it exists], since, if boys and girls avoid one another, the perverse activities of the undifferentiated s.e.xual impulse may very readily appear in place of the suppressed heteros.e.xual manifestations.

In the child, the moods of the amatory sentiment are exceedingly variable. To-day, the love may be romantic in character; to-morrow, on the other hand, rather sensual. To-day, a girl is enamoured of some friend of her father's; to-morrow, she is in love with some little friend of her brother's, or with one of her schoolmasters. A little later, a member of her own s.e.x becomes the object of pa.s.sion, a girl-friend of her own, or some actress of note. In general, especially, too, when the stage of the undifferentiated impulse has not been well-marked, we notice that as the years pa.s.s the inclination gradually comes to relate to older persons. Since the period of childhood embraces a comparatively small number of years, it is naturally not easy to establish this point with mathematical precision; but I have been led to form such an opinion by questioning a large number of persons of either s.e.x. In this respect we sometimes observe that which, in the _Satyricon_ of Petronius, Quartilla said long ago, when young Giton is united to the seven-year-old Pannychis. In free phraseology, Quartilla a.s.sures us that she has no remembrance of ever having been a virgin. "When I was a child, I made use of children for this purpose; as I became older, bigger boys served my turn; and thus, from stage to stage, I attained my present age."

Thus we can explain how it sometimes happens that a fondness conceived in childhood may endure on into adult life, and may even culminate in marriage. In large towns, indeed, such an occurrence is comparatively rare, but in small towns and in the country, quite a number of instances have been brought to my notice. As children, the two have grown up together. Their reciprocal fondness originated long prior to the formation of any conscious s.e.xual sentiments; subsequently, when such sentiments have arisen, and the s.e.xual impulse has awakened, it is natural that s.e.xual relations should often ensue. Since in the country (in contrast with large towns, in which prost.i.tution is commonly rampant) premarital s.e.xual intercourse is comparatively frequent, we can readily understand that such a relations.h.i.+p as has been described will often culminate in marriage, for in the country marriage is far less often prevented by the occurrence of pre-marital intercourse than it is in large towns.

On the whole, however, the amatory manifestations of childhood are of brief duration. Separation at first gives rise to spiritual pain, but this is as a rule soon forgotten; similarly when the beloved one is s.n.a.t.c.hed away by death, the child's grief is not enduring. Commonly such painful emotions speedily pa.s.s away; and whether the parting is due to death or to other causes, a new pa.s.sion is apt shortly to replace the old. In exceptional cases, however, the death of the beloved one, or separation otherwise effected, may, even in the child lead to suicide or to severe nervous disturbances.

Hitherto I have spoken of the processes of detumescence and contrectation as isolated manifestations. As regards the relations.h.i.+ps between these respective processes, there are various possibilities. In the first place, one may exist when the other is absent, that is to say, the phenomena of detumescence or the phenomena of contrectation may appear in isolation. Secondly, the two processes may be in complete a.s.sociation each with the other. A boy of thirteen years feels the impulse to draw near to a girl, and to kiss her; when this close contact takes place, erection ensues. Of all the cases known to me, the earliest age at which such a phenomenon occurred is given in a case published by Fere.[37]

Two cousins, boy and girl, were playmates from the time they were both about three years old. They played at being man and wife; and when they were not actually together, the boy's imagination was occupied with the subject. He thought continually about it, and when he was in bed at night erection occurred, accompanied by an agreeable sensation. He went to sleep, and dreamed that other persons got into bed with him and touched him. Among these persons was the little girl, his cousin. Such dreams recurred very frequently; the girl, moreover, was constantly in his waking thoughts. As he grew older, his fondness persisted; but when at the age of seventeen he made up his mind to tell his cousin of his love for her, she became engaged to someone else. Consequently he suffered from severe nervous shock.

In the third place, the two processes, contrectation and detumescence, may occur simultaneously, without the detumescence being a.s.sociated with the object of the contrectation impulse. Thus cases occur in which boys experience organic sensations in the genital organs leading them to m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.e, and at the same time love someone; and yet when in the company of, and even when embracing the beloved, such a boy will not experience any specific sensations in the genital organs, nor will any impulse arise towards s.e.xual contact with the beloved person.

When the two processes are a.s.sociated in such a manner that proximity to the object of the contrectation impulse arouses the phenomena of detumescence, s.e.xual acts between the two persons are very likely to result--provided, of course, that the affection is reciprocal. In this way many of the s.e.xual acts effected between children originate; and the same is true of those in which children at times very readily lend themselves to the gratification of the s.e.xual pa.s.sion of adults. We learn from experience that in such cases attempts at actual intercourse may be made by children, usually accompanied by erection, but in most cases without e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.n. I append a brief report of one case which came under my own observation.

CASE 4.--X., twenty-one years of age, apparently sprung from a healthy family, and at least free from hereditary taint, declares that his first experience of s.e.xual sensations occurred at the early age of five or six years; at this age he became enamoured of a servant girl, who caressed him very frequently, and pressed her genital organs against his body.

Later, when eight or nine years old, he fell in love with a girl of about the same age, and made attempts at coitus. He remembers quite distinctly that he then had erections, and also a kind of voluptuous sensation, but no e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.n. After continuing this practice for a considerable time, he became aware, being very religiously brought up, that he was behaving very wrongly. He therefore gave up all attempts at s.e.xual congress, and lived quite chastely until he attained the age of nineteen. Throughout this time he neither m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.ed, nor endeavoured to effect coitus, nor practised any kind of s.e.xual act. At the age of nineteen, however, the s.e.xual impulse becoming very powerful, he began to m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.e, and has continued to do so up to the present time--- once, twice, thrice, or even four times weekly. Once he did not m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.e for as long as three months, but this was the only prolonged continent interval. He experiences a normal impulse towards members of the other s.e.x. Prost.i.tutes are repulsive to him; he is attracted chiefly by girls of exceptional intelligence. He feels quite certain that to kiss and embrace such a girl would be very pleasurable to him, although he is not aware of any definite impulse towards coitus. Masturbation has always been practised by him as a purely physical act, unaccompanied, that is to say, by any imaginative ideas.