The Rainbow - LightNovelsOnl.com
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She was difficult of her affections. For Tilly, she had a childish, essential contempt, almost dislike, because the poor woman was such a servant. The child would not let the serving-woman attend to her, do intimate things for her, not for a long time. She treated her as one of an inferior race.
Brangwen did not like it.
"Why aren't you fond of Tilly?" he asked.
"Because--because--because she looks at me with her eyes bent."
Then gradually she accepted Tilly as belonging to the household, never as a person.
For the first weeks, the black eyes of the child were for ever on the watch. Brangwen, good-humoured but impatient, spoiled by Tilly, was an easy bl.u.s.terer. If for a few minutes he upset the household with his noisy impatience, he found at the end the child glowering at him with intense black eyes, and she was sure to dart forward her little head, like a serpent, with her biting:
"Go away."
"I'm not going away," he shouted, irritated at last.
"Go yourself--hustle--stir thysen--hop." And he pointed to the door. The child backed away from him, pale with fear. Then she gathered up courage, seeing him become patient.
"We don't live with you," she said, thrusting forward her little head at him. "You--you're--you're a bomakle."
"A what?" he shouted.
Her voice wavered--but it came.
"A bomakle."
"Ay, an' you're a comakle."
She meditated. Then she hissed forwards her head.
"I'm not."
"Not what?"
"A comakle."
"No more am I a bomakle."
He was really cross.
Other times she would say:
"My mother doesn't live here."
"Oh, ay?"
"I want her to go away."
"Then want's your portion," he replied laconically.
So they drew nearer together. He would take her with him when he went out in the trap. The horse ready at the gate, he came noisily into the house, which seemed quiet and peaceful till he appeared to set everything awake.
"Now then, Topsy, pop into thy bonnet."
The child drew herself up, resenting the indignity of the address.
"I can't fasten my bonnet myself," she said haughtily.
"Not man enough yet," he said, tying the ribbons under her chin with clumsy fingers.
She held up her face to him. Her little bright-red lips moved as he fumbled under her chin.
"You talk--nonsents," she said, re-echoing one of his phrases.
"That face shouts for th' pump," he said, and taking out a big red handkerchief, that smelled of strong tobacco, began wiping round her mouth.
"Is Kitty waiting for me?" she asked.
"Ay," he said. "Let's finish wiping your face--it'll pa.s.s wi' a cat-lick."
She submitted prettily. Then, when he let her go, she began to skip, with a curious flicking up of one leg behind her.
"Now my young buck-rabbit," he said. "Slippy!"
She came and was shaken into her coat, and the two set off.
She sat very close beside him in the gig, tucked tightly, feeling his big body sway, against her, very splendid. She loved the rocking of the gig, when his big, live body swayed upon her, against her. She laughed, a poignant little shrill laugh, and her black eyes glowed.
She was curiously hard, and then pa.s.sionately tenderhearted.
Her mother was ill, the child stole about on tip-toe in the bedroom for hours, being nurse, and doing the thing thoughtfully and diligently. Another day, her mother was unhappy. Anna would stand with her legs apart, glowering, balancing on the sides of her slippers. She laughed when the goslings wriggled in Tilly's hand, as the pellets of food were rammed down their throats with a skewer, she laughed nervously. She was hard and imperious with the animals, squandering no love, running about amongst them like a cruel mistress.
Summer came, and hay-harvest, Anna was a brown elfish mite dancing about. Tilly always marvelled over her, more than she loved her.
But always in the child was some anxious connection with the mother. So long as Mrs. Brangwen was all right, the little girl played about and took very little notice of her. But corn-harvest went by, the autumn drew on, and the mother, the later months of her pregnancy beginning, was strange and detached, Brangwen began to knit his brows, the old, unhealthy uneasiness, the unskinned susceptibility came on the child again. If she went to the fields with her father, then, instead of playing about carelessly, it was:
"I want to go home."
"Home, why tha's n.o.bbut this minute come."
"I want to go home."
"What for? What ails thee?"
"I want my mother."
"Thy mother! Thy mother none wants thee."
"I want to go home."
There would be tears in a moment.
"Can ter find t'road, then?"