Toaster's Handbook - LightNovelsOnl.com
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"You'll find a good many," admitted the native, "when the hotels fill up."
SUNDAY
Albert was a solemn-eyed, spiritual-looking child. "Nurse," he said one day, leaving his blocks and laying his hand on her knee, "nurse, is this G.o.d's day?"
"No, dear," said the nurse, "this is not Sunday; it is Thursday."
"I'm so sorry," he said, sadly, and went back to his blocks.
The next day and the next in his serious manner he asked the same question, and the nurse tearfully said to the cook:
"That child is too good for this world."
On Sunday the question was repeated, and the nurse, with a sob in her voice, said: "Yes, lambie, this is G.o.d's day."
"Then where is the funny paper?" he demanded.
TEACHER-"Good little boys do not skate on Sunday, Corky. Don't you think that is very nice of them?"
CORKY--"Sure t'ing!"
TEACHER--"And why is it nice of them, Corky?"
CORKY--"Aw, it leaves more room on de ice! See?"
Of all the days that's in the week, I dearly love but one day, And that's the day that comes betwixt A Sat.u.r.day and Monday.
--_Henry Carey_.
O day of rest! How beautiful, how fair, How welcome to the weary and the old!
Day of the Lord! and truce to earthly care!
Day of the Lord, as all our days should be!
--_Longfellow_.
SUNDAY SCHOOLS
"Now, Willie," said the superintendent's little boy, addressing the blacksmith's little boy, who had come over for a frolic, "we'll play 'Sabbath School.' You give me a nickel every Sunday for six months, and then at Christmas I'll give you a ten-cent bag of candy."
When Lottie returned from her first visit to Sunday-school, she was asked what she had learned.
"G.o.d made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh day,"
was her version of the lesson imparted.
The teacher asked: "When did Moses live?"
After the silence had become painful she ordered: "Open your Old Testaments. What does it say there?"
A boy answered: "Moses, 4000."
"Now," said the teacher, "why didn't you know when Moses lived?"
"Well," replied the boy, "I thought it was his telephone number,"--_Suburban Life_.
"How many of you boys," asked the Sunday-school superintendent, "can bring two other boys next Sunday?"
There was no response until a new recruit raised his hand hesitatingly.
"Well, William?"
"I can't bring two, but there's one little feller I can lick, and I'll do my d.a.m.nedest to bring him."
SUPERSt.i.tION
Superst.i.tion is a premature explanation overstaying its time.--_George Iles_.
SURPRISE
"Where are you goin', ma?" asked the youngest of five children.
"I'm going to a surprise party, my dear," answered the mother.
"Are we all goin', too?"
"No, dear. You weren't invited."
