Sexually, I'm More of a Switzerland Part 9

87 Hustler-monthly p.o.r.nographic magazine first published in 1974.

88 The reference here may be to the 1996 song 'The Crossroads' by Cleveland hip-hop group Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, which originally contained the line 'And, Wally, even though you're gone, you've still got love from bone' although it's much more likely that the advertiser is citing the British television soap opera Crossroads, set in a motel near Birmingham, England. It was originally broadcast on the ITV network between 1964 and 1988 before being revised briefly in 2003. Wally Sopper was a peripheral character in the soap, fond of concocting abstruse money-making schemes. He appeared in the series during the early to mid-eighties.

89 Thought experiment devised by Austrian physicist Erwin Schrodinger around 1935. In it, Schrodinger attempted to ill.u.s.trate what he saw as the problems of the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics when it is applied beyond atomic or subatomic systems. The experiment proposes that a live cat be placed in a hermetically sealed steel chamber, along with a device containing a vial of hydrocyanic acid. Also in the chamber is a small amount of a radioactive substance. If an atom of the substance decays, a relay mechanism trips the hammer, breaking the vial and killing the cat. The observer cannot know whether or not any decay of the substance has occurred, and therefore cannot know whether the vial has been broken, the acid released, and the cat killed. Thus, according to quantum law, the cat is both alive and dead in a superposition of states. Only upon opening the box does the observer learn the condition of the cat. However, in doing so, the superposition is lost and the cat becomes either alive or dead. The observation or measurement itself affects an outcome and the outcome does not exist unless the observation is made. This is sometimes referred to as 'quantum indeterminacy'.

90 C&A-international chain store selling budget clothing. Founded in the Netherlands in 1861 as a textile company by brothers Clemens and August Brenninkmeijer. The store ceased trading in the UK in 2001 but continues to trade elsewhere in the world.

91 Pangram-a sentence that uses every letter of the alphabet at least once. The advertiser here has constructed two pangrams.

92 Hooke's Law-named after the 17th-century British physicist Robert Hooke and first stated in 1676 as a Latin anagram. Hooke published the solution in 1678 'Ut tensio, sic vis', meaning 'As the extension, so the force.' In other words, the amount by which a material body is deformed is linearly related to the force causing the deformation.

93 Flesh-eating bacteria.

94 (See p. 88, n. 85.) The binary in this advert translates as '32-year old computing geek seeks open-minded blonde twin sisters with very large b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Own mansion with pool an advantage'.

95 Cytogenetics is the study of the structure and function of the cell, particularly chromosomes. Banding is a technique used to produce a visible karyotype by staining condensed chromosomes. Quinacrine banding (Q-banding) was the first staining method of banding used in cytogenetics and is done using the antiprotozoal drug quinacrine. Mitotic inhibitors are used during slide preparation to stop cell division and thereby increase the number of mitotic cells available for a.n.a.lysis.

96 Perry Anderson (b. 1938)-historian, essayist and author. Slavoj iek (b. 1949)-cultural critic. Both are regular contributors to the London Review of Books.

97 Weltanschauung-German philosophical concept of a world view, or wide world perception.

98 Latka Gravas-fictional character from the ABC television sitcom Taxi (197882) portrayed by Andy Kaufman. Latka was based on a character Kaufman created known as 'Foreign Man'. A. J. P. Taylor-Alan John Percivale Taylor (190690), influential English historian born in Birkdale, Merseyside.

99 Auscultatory-of or pertaining to auscultation, or listening to the sounds of the body. Bouzouki-a stringed Greek and Balkan folk instrument. a.s.suming no triple word scores, or double letter scores, 'auscultatory' would score 17 in a game of Scrabble, whereas 'bouzouki' would score 23. 'Sorry' would score 8.

100 Arthur Herbert Fonzarelli (also known as the Fonz or simply Fonzie)-a fictional character played by Henry Winkler in the US sitcom Happy Days (see p. 22, n. 11).

101 Marks & Spencer-UK chain department store.

102 See appendix.

103 10236 Charing Cross Rd., Holmby Hills, Los Angeles, California, 90024. The original Playboy Mansion was at 1340 N. State Parkway, Chicago, Illinois, 60610. As such, the current Playboy Mansion is often known as Playboy Mansion West.

104 'Jenny from the Block'-written by Andre 'mrDEYO' Deyo, Jennifer Lopez, Jean Claude 'Poke' Olivier, Samuel Barnes, Lawrence Parker, Simon Sterlin, and Jose Fernando Arbex Miro. Performed by Jennifer Lopez and taken from her alb.u.m This Is Me... Then (2002, Epic). Reached number three in the Billboard Hot 100. The song is one of a growing number where the theme juxtaposes the performer's upbringing to their celebrity status. In Lopez's case, her childhood in the Bronx, New York, is juxtaposed with her paparazzi-haunted life as a successful performer and girlfriend of Hollywood movie actor Ben Affleck. The chorus includes the lines 'Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got / I'm still, I'm still Jenny from the block'. Other songs following a similar theme are Faith Hill's 'Mississippi Girl' (2005), Gwen Stefani's 'Orange County Girl' (2007) and Fergie's 'Glamorous' (2007).

105 John Holmes (194488)-p.o.r.nographic actor, also known as John C. Holmes or Johnny Wadd. One of the most recognisable male adult film stars of all time, Holmes appeared in approximately 2,500 p.o.r.nographic features (movies, adult loops and stag films) in the 1970s and 1980s, including at least one gay feature film and a small number of gay loops. He was best known for his exceptionally large p.e.n.i.s, which was marketed as being the largest in the p.o.r.n industry (its exact dimensions are unknown, although both his first wife, Sharon Gebenini, and his last wife, Laurie 'Misty Dawn' Rose, both stated that Holmes himself claimed his p.e.n.i.s was ten inches long, although Holmes' incessant self-promotion often led him to claim it was as large as fourteen inches. p.o.r.n actress Annette Haven, however, has stated that Holmes never achieved a full erection, 'It was like doing it with a big, soft kind of luffa'). Holmes also attracted notoriety for his involvement in the brutal Wonderland Murders in 1981, when four people were killed in a drug-related plot allegedly masterminded by businessman and drug dealer Eddie Nash. Holmes died from an AIDS-related illness in 1988 and was the inspiration for two Hollywood movies, Boogie Nights (1997, dir. Paul Thomas Anderson) and Wonderland (2003, dir. James c.o.x). Mu'umu'u-loose, traditionally Hawaiian dress popular as maternity gowns.

106 Adam Phillips (b. 1954)-British psychotherapist, essayist and author.

107 Acronym meaning 'Big Beautiful Woman'. The phrase and its acronym were coined by Carole Shaw in 1979, when she launched BBW Magazine, a fas.h.i.+on and lifestyle magazine for plus-size women. 'BBW' is often used in personal ads and fetish websites.

108 'You're So Vain'-written and performed by Carly Simon. Taken from her alb.u.m No Secrets (1972, Elektra Records). It reached number one in the Billboard Hot 100. Since its release, the song has been the subject of intense speculation as to who the subject is. In 2003, the head of NBC Sports, d.i.c.k Ebersol, paid $50,000 at a charity auction to learn of the ident.i.ty of the song's subject. The condition of winning the auction was that he wasn't allowed to reveal the ident.i.ty to anyone else, save for one letter, 'E'. Simon herself later added the letters 'A' and 'R' as clues, which made Mick Jagger, Warren Beatty and James Taylor the main candidates (Simon had relations.h.i.+ps with all three). Although she was married to Taylor shortly before the song was written, she has stated that the song isn't about him. Mick Jagger sang uncredited backing vocals on the song. In April 2007, Warren Beatty gave an interview to a US journalist in which he said, 'Let's be honest. That song was about me.'

109 Logan's Run (1976, dir. Michael Anderson)-film based on the dystopian novel of the same name by William F. Nolan and George Clayton Johnson, in which the population is controlled by killing people as they reach the age of thirty ('the time of renewal').

110 Mekon-ruler of the Treens and arch-enemy of Dan Dare.

111 'Superheroes of BMX'-written and performed by Mogwai. Taken from their alb.u.m 4 Satin (1997, Chemikal Underground, Jetset). Cannock Crocodile-in June 2003, the Staffords.h.i.+re town of Cannock (population: 92,500) was put on alert after numerous sightings of a crocodile loose in the local Roman View Pond. An investigation by the RSPCA led to the capture of a snapper turtle (later nicknamed 'lucky') although the cryptozoologist group CFZ (Centre for Fortean Zoology, based in Bideford, North Devon), concluded in a field study report shortly after the RSPCA investigation that the size of the beast in the sightings (estimated at between three and five feet in length) was far too large to be a snapper turtle.

112 Abercrombie & Fitch-US lifestyle clothing brand specialising in casual luxury apparel for the early-twenties market. The model referred to in the advert could be Matt Ratliff, who is 6'1" and was chosen to represent the archetype of the A&F blonde-haired, sporty, youthful male consumer in many campaigns following his arrival to the A&F brand as the main face of their Christmas 2005 campaign.

113 FriendsReunited.co.uk-online service aimed at reuniting old school friends, family members, work colleagues, etc. Dean Friedman, see p. 25, n. 17.

114 Thundercats-US animated television series running between 1985 and 1990, following the adventures of a group of cat-like humanoids from the dead planet Thundera. Cheetara was the only adult female of the group until the appearance of Pumyra after several seasons.

115 All Bar One-UK-based chain bar and restaurant.

116 'I do believe, induced by potent circ.u.mstances, that thou art mine enemy'-from Shakespeare's Henry VIII, II, iv.

117 Lee Hazlewood often sang with Nancy Sinatra. Elvis Presley began a brief, much gossiped-about affair with Ann-Margret in 1964. Kris Kristofferson was married to Rita Coolidge from 1973 to 1980. Jackie Chan is a martial arts actor. The final line of the advert is taken from Kristofferson's 'Help Me Make It Through the Night' (written and performed by Kris Kristofferson), from his alb.u.m Kristofferson (1970, Monument).

118 Presumed to be taken from the Beach Boys' song 'California Girls', written by Mike Love and Brian Wilson. Performed by The Beach Boys and taken from the alb.u.m Summer Days (And Summer Nights!!) (1965, Capitol). Reached number three in Billboard Hot 100 charts. Written immediately after he had taken LSD for the first time, Wilson claimed that the same LSD experience also created a permanent threatening voice in his head that would eventually lead to his mental illness later in life.

119 Tizer-carbonated soft drink. Quavers-reconst.i.tuted potato snack.