Barrack Room Ballads Part 3

The Driver 'e give nothin' 'cept a little coughin' grunt, But 'e swung 'is 'orses 'andsome when it came to "Action Front!"

An' if one wheel was juicy, you may lay your Monday head 'Twas juicier for the n.i.g.g.e.rs when the case begun to spread.

The moril of this story, it is plainly to be seen: You 'avn't got no families when servin' of the Queen-- You 'avn't got no brothers, fathers, sisters, wives, or sons-- If you want to win your battles take an' work your bloomin' guns!

Down in the Infantry, n.o.body cares; Down in the Cavalry, Colonel 'e swears; But down in the lead with the wheel at the flog Turns the bold Bombardier to a little whipped dog!

The Widow at Windsor

'Ave you 'eard o' the Widow at Windsor With a hairy gold crown on 'er 'ead?

She 'as s.h.i.+ps on the foam--she 'as millions at 'ome, An' she pays us poor beggars in red.

(Ow, poor beggars in red!) There's 'er nick on the cavalry 'orses, There's 'er mark on the medical stores-- An' 'er troopers you'll find with a fair wind be'ind That takes us to various wars.

(Poor beggars!--barbarious wars!) Then 'ere's to the Widow at Windsor, An' 'ere's to the stores an' the guns, The men an' the 'orses what makes up the forces O' Missis Victorier's sons.

(Poor beggars! Victorier's sons!)

Walk wide o' the Widow at Windsor, For 'alf o' Creation she owns: We 'ave bought 'er the same with the sword an' the flame, An' we've salted it down with our bones.

(Poor beggars!--it's blue with our bones!) Hands off o' the sons o' the Widow, Hands off o' the goods in 'er shop, For the Kings must come down an' the Emperors frown When the Widow at Windsor says "Stop"!

(Poor beggars!--we're sent to say "Stop"!) Then 'ere's to the Lodge o' the Widow, From the Pole to the Tropics it runs-- To the Lodge that we tile with the rank an' the file, An' open in form with the guns.

(Poor beggars!--it's always they guns!)

We 'ave 'eard o' the Widow at Windsor, It's safest to let 'er alone: For 'er sentries we stand by the sea an' the land Wherever the bugles are blown.

(Poor beggars!--an' don't we get blown!) Take 'old o' the Wings o' the Mornin', An' flop round the earth till you're dead; But you won't get away from the tune that they play To the bloomin' old rag over'ead.

(Poor beggars!--it's 'ot over'ead!) Then 'ere's to the sons o' the Widow, Wherever, 'owever they roam.

'Ere's all they desire, an' if they require A speedy return to their 'ome.

(Poor beggars!--they'll never see 'ome!)

Belts

There was a row in Silver Street that's near to Dublin Quay, Between an Irish regiment an' English cavalree; It started at Revelly an' it lasted on till dark: The first man dropped at Harrison's, the last forninst the Park.

For it was:--"Belts, belts, belts, an' that's one for you!"

An' it was "Belts, belts, belts, an' that's done for you!"

O buckle an' tongue Was the song that we sung From Harrison's down to the Park!

There was a row in Silver Street--the regiments was out, They called us "Delhi Rebels", an' we answered "Threes about!"

That drew them like a hornet's nest--we met them good an' large, The English at the double an' the Irish at the charge.

Then it was:--"Belts..."

There was a row in Silver Street--an' I was in it too; We pa.s.sed the time o' day, an' then the belts went whirraru!

I misremember what occurred, but subsequint the storm A Freeman's Journal Supplemint was all my uniform.

O it was:--"Belts...

There was a row in Silver Street--they sent the Polis there, The English were too drunk to know, the Irish didn't care; But when they grew impertinint we simultaneous rose, Till half o' them was Liffey mud an' half was tatthered clo'es.

For it was:--"Belts...

There was a row in Silver Street--it might ha' raged till now, But some one drew his side-arm clear, an' n.o.body knew how; 'Twas Hogan took the point an' dropped; we saw the red blood run: An' so we all was murderers that started out in fun.

While it was:--"Belts...

There was a row in Silver Street--but that put down the s.h.i.+ne, Wid each man whisperin' to his next: "'Twas never work o' mine!"

We went away like beaten dogs, an' down the street we bore him, The poor dumb corpse that couldn't tell the bhoys were sorry for him.

When it was:--"Belts...

There was a row in Silver Street--it isn't over yet, For half of us are under guard wid punishments to get; 'Tis all a merricle to me as in the Clink I lie: There was a row in Silver Street--beG.o.d, I wonder why!

But it was:--"Belts, belts, belts, an' that's one for you!"

An' it was "Belts, belts, belts, an' that's done for you!"

O buckle an' tongue Was the song that we sung From Harrison's down to the Park!

The Young British Soldier

When the 'arf-made recruity goes out to the East 'E acts like a babe an' 'e drinks like a beast, An' 'e wonders because 'e is frequent deceased Ere 'e's fit for to serve as a soldier.

Serve, serve, serve as a soldier, Serve, serve, serve as a soldier, Serve, serve, serve as a soldier, So-oldier of the Queen!

Now all you recruities what's drafted to-day, You shut up your rag-box an' 'ark to my lay, An' I'll sing you a soldier as far as I may: A soldier what's fit for a soldier.

Fit, fit, fit for a soldier...

First mind you steer clear o' the grog-sellers' huts, For they sell you Fixed Bay'nets that rots out your guts-- Ay, drink that 'ud eat the live steel from your b.u.t.ts-- An' it's bad for the young British soldier.

Bad, bad, bad for the soldier...

When the cholera comes--as it will past a doubt-- Keep out of the wet and don't go on the shout, For the sickness gets in as the liquor dies out, An' it crumples the young British soldier.

Crum-, crum-, crumples the soldier...

But the worst o' your foes is the sun over'ead: You must wear your 'elmet for all that is said: If 'e finds you uncovered 'e'll knock you down dead, An' you'll die like a fool of a soldier.

Fool, fool, fool of a soldier...

If you're cast for fatigue by a sergeant unkind, Don't grouse like a woman nor crack on nor blind; Be handy and civil, and then you will find That it's beer for the young British soldier.

Beer, beer, beer for the soldier...

Now, if you must marry, take care she is old-- A troop-sergeant's widow's the nicest I'm told, For beauty won't help if your rations is cold, Nor love ain't enough for a soldier.

'Nough, 'nough, 'nough for a soldier...

If the wife should go wrong with a comrade, be loath To shoot when you catch 'em--you'll swing, on my oath!-- Make 'im take 'er and keep 'er: that's h.e.l.l for them both, An' you're shut o' the curse of a soldier.

Curse, curse, curse of a soldier...

When first under fire an' you're wishful to duck, Don't look nor take 'eed at the man that is struck, Be thankful you're livin', and trust to your luck And march to your front like a soldier.

Front, front, front like a soldier...

When 'arf of your bullets fly wide in the ditch, Don't call your Martini a cross-eyed old b.i.t.c.h; She's human as you are--you treat her as sich, An' she'll fight for the young British soldier.

Fight, fight, fight for the soldier...

When shakin' their bustles like ladies so fine, The guns o' the enemy wheel into line, Shoot low at the limbers an' don't mind the s.h.i.+ne, For noise never startles the soldier.

Start-, start-, startles the soldier...