Ex-Purgatory: A Novel Part 23

"Yeah," said George. "Madelyn said-" The spikes shot forward another quarter inch. They grew thorns. He could picture them making deep dimples across the back of his eyeball. "Madelyn said he can make people believe things. He's from somewhere else, like us."

She slid the bar napkin out from under her drink and held it out to him. "Your nose is bleeding again."

"I know," he said. "I think ... I think it bleeds when I get too close to the truth. And the truth is, a crazy girl told me I had superpowers, and then she shot me a dozen times in the chest and it didn't do anything." He tugged at the s.h.i.+rt and looked down past his chin. "I think the bruise is already fading."

She reached across the bar and pulled two more napkins from a small tray. The bartender glanced over and saw George with the wad of red paper. "You okay, buddy?" he called over.

"Fine," said George. He wrapped his fingers around the napkin to hide most of the blood. "Don't worry about it."

"For the sake of argument," said Karen, "let us a.s.sume everything Madelyn has told you is true. We are superheroes trapped in some alternate universe or time stream."

"It sounds a lot more believable when you say it," George said.

"If this is all true," she continued, "why would we go back? This world offers us everything we would have tried to achieve. It is free of the dead creatures which overwhelmed that reality."

"But it's not where we're supposed to be," he said. "If she's right, it means there's another world out there that was depending on us. A world we've abandoned, even if we didn't know we were doing it." He dabbed at his nose again with a fresh napkin.

Karen stared at him for a moment. "The perfect prison," she said.

"Sorry?"

"Prisons are built around certain inherent ideas, chief among them being the prisoners do not wish to be there and the threat of death or injury overrides the desire to escape. For people such as you and I, that threat is greatly reduced, if not nullified. So how does someone imprison us?"

George folded the napkin in half.

"They create a prison we have no reason or desire to escape from."

At the end of the bar the students had s.h.i.+fted topics. Two of them were acting out a scene from something. It took George a moment to recognize the skit.

She followed his gaze. "Is there a problem?"

"No," he said. "I don't think so. It's just ... This may sound stupid, but I've been hearing a lot of Monty Python lately."

Karen looked at him for a moment. "This is important how?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "It's just kind of weird. All these years on campus, I must've heard people doing Monty Python skits a few thousand times. But I can't remember anyone ever doing Steven Wright, Seinfeld, Eddie Izzard ... anyone else. It's always old Python stuff."

"I am not familiar with their individual skits," she admitted.

A slim man with gla.s.ses raised his voice to a near-manic tone. "It's a stiff!" he shrieked. "Bereft of life. It rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he would be pus.h.i.+ng up the daisies!"

George waved down the bartender. "Sorry," he told the beefy man. He nodded at the group at the far end of the bar. "Are they in here often?"

The other man shot a quick glance at the film types. "We get a lot of those folks in here. There's a couple of little production companies in the buildings across the street. They too loud?"

George shook his head. "No, I just ... What's that skit they're acting out? It's on the tip of my brain and I can't think of it."

The bartender smirked. "It's Monty Python."

"Yeah, but what's the actual piece they're doing?"

The beefy man shrugged and turned his head. "Hey, Shaun?"

The skinny man paused in his recitation and returned the gaze. He had blue eyes behind wire-rimmed gla.s.ses.

"What's that sketch you're doing?"

"It's cla.s.sic Python," said Shaun. "The parrot sketch."

Parrots.

Shaun and his partner, a man with horn-rims and shockingly blond hair, picked up the sketch, turning themselves to face their new audience. Their voices rose to match, reaching a manic pitch in the reenactment.

"If you hadn't nailed him to the perch," repeated the thin man, getting back into the part, "he'd be pus.h.i.+ng up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil. It's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This," Shaun declared emphatically, "is an ex-"

A railroad spike slammed into George's skull. Just before the pain forced his eyes closed he saw Karen's hands fly to her own head. He heard her s.h.i.+ft in her chair, and a faint grunt of pain.

His skull cracked and let in a brilliant light. It was so bright closing his eyes did nothing. Covering them with his hands made no difference. No matter what he did, he could still see it.

He forced his eyes open against the searing pain and looked at Karen. She was already staring at him. Her eyes were wide. He slid his hand across the bar and she seized it with a grip like a vise. George felt blood run across his lips, enough that he heard it splash on the bar.

"Hey," said the bartender, "you two okay?"

Memories poured into George's head like molten steel, burning everything else away even as they cooled and hardened. He saw himself. He saw his world. He saw them.

The undead.

The zombies.

The ex-humans.

A ripple washed over him and made the hair on his arms stiffen. A smell that had lurked in the background rose to the fore. It was the twin scents of must and mildew, and the tangy odor of rot lurked behind them like an aftertaste. He looked at the small puddle of blood on the dusty bar. His beer bottle crumbled away into a few shards of broken gla.s.s. The napkin under it collapsed and left a square of fragments and dust.

In his peripheral vision, a handful of people in the bar vanished.

The rest of them died.

The dead ones turned to stare. Their eyes were b.a.l.l.s of chalk. Their skin was brittle pages from old books.

Their jagged teeth tapped together. It was a sharp, hard noise. The sound of crackling gla.s.s and clicking pens and beads. .h.i.tting the side of a fan again and again. The sound echoed in the bar.

He pushed himself off the bar stool.

And St. George, the Mighty Dragon, stood to face the exes.

TWENTY-THREE.

THE PLACE HAD been well looted. The shelves behind the bar were empty, and had been for years if the dust meant anything. What couldn't be carted away had been smashed. Broken gla.s.s was everywhere. The padded cus.h.i.+ons of the booth had been torn out.

St. George counted fifteen exes in the bar. The dead couple in the closest booth were trapped by the table, unable to rise and not smart enough to move to the side. One of the exes from the far booth had already fallen onto the floor. It crawled across the bar toward them.

Most of the film types were still there. Shaun was a desiccated husk. Its gla.s.ses hung loose off one ear. The half dozen or so exes around it banged their teeth together and shuffled around to face the heroes. Their arms reached for them. The ex with the blond hair raised hands that had three fingers between them. It looked like they'd been torn off in the same incident that had claimed the dead man's chin and nose.

"You see them," asked Karen. It was a confirmation more than a question.

No, not Karen, he corrected himself.

She was Stealth.

"Yeah," he said. He pointed around the room. "Two there, another four, I think seven over there. The doorman by the entrance. I don't see the server anywhere." He glanced over his shoulder. "And the bartender."

The bartender snapped its jaws behind them. Its cheek hung open on a flap of pale flesh and showed off a row of yellowed teeth. One of them stood out, bright white against the others. St. George figured it was an implant. The dead man's fingers reached across the bar and brushed St. George's arm.

Stealth rolled her shoulders inside her trench coat. She'd loosened the belt to give herself a better range of motion, but he could see it still pulled in the shoulders. Her fingers flexed in the thin leather gloves and batted away the bartender's grasping fingers.

"I'll take care of the big group," he said. "Can you get the others?"

"Of course."

"Do you have any weapons?"

Stealth raised an eyebrow at him. "George," she said, "have you ever known me to need a weapon?"

She turned and snapped out a punch like a snake striking. It caught the dead bartender on the bridge of the nose. There was a sharp crack as the bone pushed back into the skull and its face flattened out. The ex collapsed behind the bar.

He smiled. "Good to have you back."

"And you."

St. George stepped forward and caught the dead thing that had been Shaun by the neck. He lifted the ex off its feet and snapped its neck with a quick s.h.i.+ft of his thumb and forefinger. The dead man's jaws kept snapping at him even as its arms and legs sagged. He hurled the body back into the crowd and knocked down two of the others.

Not as strong as he should be, he noticed. That throw should've taken out the whole crowd. He wondered if it was some sort of residual block in his mind.

Behind him, Stealth brought her boot down on the crawling ex. It slammed face-first into the floor and left a dark stain on the carpet. A second kick to the back of the head made the dead man slump. A puddle of dark liquid spread out from under its head.

St. George grabbed another ex and twisted its head around. A third one, the blond man, latched onto his arm and bit down on his elbow. The ex's teeth left a sticky circle on his sleeve and then splintered apart. He brushed the teeth fragments out of the fleece and then drove his fist through the blond man's face.

The front of the zombie's head collapsed beneath his punch and his knuckles broke out the back. For a moment the dead man's skull hung on his wrist like an oversized bracelet, the limp body dangling beneath it. St. George shook his arm until the rest of the head cracked apart and the corpse fell free. It hit the ground with a thump. He kicked it away and it crashed into the booth where the two exes struggled with the table.

Another step and he grabbed two more exes, a dead man in a suit and a slim woman with bristle-short hair. Their teeth beat out a constant click-click-click. He swung them and their skulls cracked together like billiard b.a.l.l.s. Another swing and both of them slumped to the floor.

The last of the film types stumbled toward him and he grabbed its outstretched hands. A twist of his wrist spun the dead woman around and dislocated one of its arms. He put his hand on its back and pushed. The ex flew across the bar and crashed over a table.

Something slammed into his back. The oversized doorman. Its jaws swung open, and St. George realized it was missing most of its teeth. A collection of splinters stuck up from its lower gums. Shards of bone and enamel were white against its dark tongue.

It bit down hard on his shoulder and what was left of its teeth turned to dust. He reached up, put his hand on its forehead, and shoved it away. The needles left in its jaw tore furrows in his s.h.i.+rt as it staggered back. Its gnas.h.i.+ng jaws made a sound St. George could only describe as pulpy.

He took a step after the dead man and brought his hand around. The edge of his palm tore through soft flesh and brittle bones. The zombie's head rolled to one side even as the momentum of the blow carried it to the other. It spun off the ex's shoulders and fell to the floor. The body crashed on top of it a moment later.

St. George flicked some of the gore off his fingers. He turned and Stealth looked at him. A trio of exes slumped on the floor at her feet. "Most impressive," she said. "You seem confident in your abilities."

He looked at the bodies scattered around the bar. "To be honest, I'm just acting on instinct," he said. "There's still a lot of stuff going on in my head."

"I understand. I am having similar issues trying to distinguish my own history from this alternate one." She dropped to her knee and drove a punch into the back of an ex's neck as it tried to rise. There was a loud pop and it collapsed.

He glanced at the door, and then up. "Do you think these s.h.i.+fts affect all of us at the same time?"

"I do not have enough data to predict such a thing." She walked over and took his hand. Her fingers felt good threaded between his. "You are worried about Barry?"

St. George nodded. "It would suck to be him if he was in midair on a plane and s.h.i.+fted back to our world."

Her eyebrow twitched. "If such a thing happened, his own abilities would most likely activate on instinct to save his life."

"We don't know that, though," said St. George. "I'm still feeling kind of weak, and most of my other powers haven't kicked in." To emphasize the point, he glanced down at his feet. He tried to make them rise, but they stayed on the floor of the bar. There was a trick to getting off the ground, but he couldn't remember it. He flexed his toes, tried to imagine rockets thrusting out of his feet, pictured huge wings lifting him into the air.

He stayed on the ground.

"From what I understand," said Stealth, "you have not needed your abilities past strength and invulnerability. I am sure I could throw you from the top of any structure of significant height and your ability to fly would rea.s.sert itself."

"Thanks," he said. "I love you, too."

"I am still unsure what has caused this-"

"Smith," said St. George. "He's back."

Her mouth snapped shut. "Are you certain?"

"Who's the President right now?"

Her lips pressed even tighter together. She remembered Agent Smith, formerly of the Department of Homeland Security.

"Madelyn knew," St. George said. "She's never even met him, but she knew all along. She tried to tell me, but the way he'd rewired my brain made me reject the idea. I told her she was crazy."

"It would seem you owe her an apology," said Stealth.

"Yeah. I'm guessing he found something out at Groom Lake that let him send us into another reality or something. Then he rewired our brains so we'd never know."

She looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "This is not another reality, George."

"Sorry?"