Roses: Four One-Act Plays Part 13

Go on! Say it! Left me! Walked out of the house! You may say it. But then--drop it! Even our old fraternity friends.h.i.+p doesn't oblige us to be everlastingly putting each other on the grill.

v. Tietz.

No, really--it escaped me somehow. I'm awfully sorry.

Ebeling.

Oh, well, never mind. You know, I speak of it quite disinterestedly.

And it's a good many years since then. Only--I'd rather not be attacked unawares.

v. Tietz.

Don't worry. I'll be on my guard. But--as we've mentioned it--there's something I wanted to ask you before--only I hadn't the courage. Tell me, do you always keep her picture on your table?

Ebeling (_in a hard voice_).

Yes.

v. Tietz.

Then you still love her?

Ebeling.

No. I only keep the picture there to warn me against making a fool of myself again. So many charming women sit there where you're sitting, women just on the point of divorce--and therefore in need of consolation. Every now and then one of them undertakes to faint--um--and then I have to-- (_Holds out his arms._)

v. Tietz (_bursting out laughing_).

Aha! Very interesting! Very interesting!

Ebeling.

In short, it does no harm to keep the picture there.

v. Tietz.

Of course, everyone knows how much courted you are. For instance, no matter when I come to see you, I always find those beautiful roses on your table. They speak for themselves. Heavens! What a luxury! Roses in January!

Ebeling.

Things like that come anonymously. If I knew who the sender was, I wouldn't accept them.

v. Tietz.

Let me with all due modesty give you a piece of advice: you ought to marry.

Ebeling.

(_Ironically, shaking his finger at him across the table._) Thank you.

But didn't you want to speak to me about the Yburgs?

V. Tietz.

Yes. What was I going to say?--Oh, yes. Well, if you hadn't taken it into your head to live like a hermit, you'd know that, for some time past, I've been a very frequent visitor at the Yburgs's.

Ebeling.

Oh, yes, I know. I go there myself sometimes--only not when other people are around.

v. Tietz.

Well, then, to make a long story short--why should I mince matters with you?--I am courting Margot.

Ebeling (_startled_).

Ah--you, too? You're also one of the crowd?

v. Tietz (_conceitedly_).

I trust that I stand up a bit above the crowd.

Ebeling.

Indeed? I thought perhaps the social glamour of the Yburgs was attracting you. A thing like that can't help dazzling one. But that you----

v. Tietz.

Is it so surprising? That girl is so bewitching--so--so entirely unlike these forward, city-bred girls. With her, at least, one knows what one can count on. She's so--so the essence of everything innocent and chaste and pure.

Ebeling (_quoting_).

"Be thou as chaste as ice, as pure as snow,"--thy dowry shall not escape me.

v. Tietz.

No, no--don't joke. It's out of place. I won't deny that, as an official without fortune--that would also be very--h'm--but----

Ebeling.

Yes, but what have I got to do with it?

v. Tietz.

See here, my dear friend, we scattered remnants of the old college fraternity have grown so accustomed to ask your help in times of need, to look up to you as a sort of father confessor----

Ebeling.

Do you want me to go and propose for you?