The Samurai Strategy Part 71

"Kind of stick it to the boss man." He paused.

"Think of it as insurance. Just to make sure you come out of this play whole. Tell you a secret about Noda. With that guy, you know you've got a deal when the check clears."

"He's a crafty f.u.c.ker, grant you."

"You might want to give it some thought. But if you're going to make a move, it's probably now or never. Be the early bird or forget it."

All this time Tam was looking at me as if I'd gone over the edge. I began to deeply regret not having filled her in on the fallback scenario.

The door to Noda's office was now closed, his two guards posted outside. Guess even a samurai needs some rest and tranquility after flying halfway around the globe in a chartered Concorde.

"Well, gotta admit it's an idea." Jim Bob continued to weave unsteadily. His motor mechanisms were now on automatic, along with his venal corn-pone brain.

"Matt, what in h.e.l.l are you doing?" Tam was pulling me back into the office.

"Stay cool. Swordsmans.h.i.+p is like Zen. You can't ever let your mind get attached to anything. Do that and you're stuck; your mind stays with the past and makes you neglect what lies ahead. So I figure the best thing to do here is to adjust to the new 'prevailing conditions.'" I glanced out at Jim Bob, now just beyond the door and absently humming some Waylon Jennings tune as he swayed solo.

"Well, I want to know what you're up to."

"Okay, here's the play. While you were setting up your sell-off scheme, I did some fiddling on my own. Remember back when we started out, I fast-talked Noda into giving me power of attorney? Well, it finally paid off. Last week I convened an instant shareholders' meeting for every company where DNI owns a majority of the stock and personally voted through a new set of resolutions."

"Mind filling me in on what they were?"

Before I could reply, Jim Bob came dancing in, licking his pale lips.

"Walton, tell you what. Think I'm gonna go for it."

"What?" I looked up.

"That options play. Comes a time you gotta look out for yourself and f.u.c.k everybody."

"That's the kind of thinking made this country what it is today, Jim Bob. Right on."

"f.u.c.kin' A, baby." He did a quick dance step. "Go for the gold."

"You know, as long as we're at it, how about a little piece of the action for me too? Nothing big. Just a couple of bucks for old times'

sake."

"Why the h.e.l.l not!" He let out a whoop as he turned and headed for a terminal. "Give you sloppy seconds on this one, ace. Just long as I get first pop."

"Matt, I don't know what you're up to, but I'll kill you if you start helping him." She looked like she would too.

"You know, you once said you wanted to drive a stake into DNI's heart."

I turned back. "Well, this is your chance. But we've got to get moving and do it before Noda catches on."

Whereupon we joined Jim Bob in front of his monitor. He was now busy pulling up quotes for March calls on the Chicago Board Options Exchange, the CBOE. He checked them over, then got on the phone directly to the market makers on the floor. When you're operating in hyperdrive, you don't dawdle around with brokers.

"Jim Bob, while you're doing that, I think I'll just start setting up the buy orders for the stock. If we want to move prices, we've got to have coordination."

"Yahoo. Let's kick some a.s.s." He'd just entered a wholly new dimension of exuberance. "s.h.i.+t fire and save your matches; f.u.c.k a duck and see what hatches."

My sentiments precisely. I started scrolling up DNI's

portfolio of high-tech securities, looking for the biggies. If things went as planned, our s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g of Matsuo Noda was definitely going to be memorable.

Now Jim Bob was chortling quietly to himself as he punched up more numbers, moving on to bilk options traders on the AMEX.

"Matthew, you'd better finish explaining what you're up to." Tam was standing behind me, her hand gripping my shoulder.

"Look, we have to do this fast. Switch a beat on Noda, break his rhythm. Just trust me."

"My favorite word." She didn't move.

"Now"--I pointed to a column of green numbers on the left-hand side of the screen--"are those the percentage holdings DNI has?"

"Looks correct."

They were about what I remembered. DNI's positions varied from around fifty percent to the low sixties.

"Okay." I turned to face her. "Which of these do you want to knock out first? There may not be time to torpedo them all."

"What are you going to do?" She was frowning, but I could tell the idea had appeal.

"Set dynamite under them. Just blow them sky-high."

"How?"

"Using an obscure corporate anti-takeover tactic not many people know about yet. Jim Bob's right. We're going to make history. n.o.body's ever done this on the scale you're about to witness. Just pick the stocks you want detonated first, but please hurry." I shoved a pen and paper at her, then turned to watch Jim Bob, now dancing around with a phone in his ear, still buying calls on the old DNI portfolio. "How're we doing over there, chief?"

"Don't want to push March too hard, tip off the market, so I'm picking up some Junes too." He yelled my way, "We're going long, baby."

"Jim Bob, I was just wondering. Don't you think you ought to hedge a little, just in case? Maybe buy a few puts to cover the downside?"

"With the kind of volatility I'm about to goose into this market?

You're starting to sound like some p.u.s.s.y, Walton. Get naked, go native.

Only way to fly." He did a twirl, then a kick. "Just buckle in, dude, cause I'm gonna take that j.a.p money and pump my underlying stocks right into orbit. This play's a lock, taking money from a baby."

"Well, I wasn't blessed with your brand of raw courage, Jim Bob. So what do you say I do a little hedging for you? We'll be partners. I'll cover the downside with my own money, a.s.suming I've got any left. I'll buy a few puts, and then if these stock prices just decide to go crazy and crash, we can still sell at the current quotes. Protect ourselves if things head south for some reason."

"Suit yourself. But that's the best way I can think of to p.i.s.s away what little 'haircut' you've got left." He was grinning again.

"Guess I'm a m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.t. What can I tell you."

While my new "partner" was laying the groundwork for his scam, loading up on options to buy stocks at today's prices just before he turned around and shoved enough j.a.panese money into the market to send them sky-high, I did the opposite. I got on the phone to various brokers, including a currently jubilant Sam Kline, and started buying "at the money" puts in Amy's name.

Jim Bob was betting the market would head up, buying calls; I was betting it would go down, buying puts. I was laying a wager with anybody in America who would agree, for my front money, to buy a stock from me at today's quotes anytime through mid-March, even if the real price had since dropped to zilch. Which I fully intended to make happen.

Insider trading? Well . . . yes. You see, I was literally the only man on earth who actually knew what the stock market was going to do next, after DNI started buying more of those stocks I'd planted with land mines. But I was a driven man just then. Maybe I'd go to jail eventually, but by G.o.d Amy would still make college.