Doctor Who_ Happiness Patrol Part 17

'Only his body,' said Gilbert. 'His mind was very much his own.'

Joseph C knew that this made sense. 'I certainly don't recall the chap ever arriving,' he said.

'He was born in the Kandy Kitchen.'

'Whereas you came from Vasilip,' said Joseph C, 'if memory serves.'

The mention of the name of Gilbert M's home planet brought memories flooding back, memories he hoped had disappeared for ever. Happy memories, of when he had been appointed chief state scientist, the youngest ever to hold the post, and memories of his friendly rivalry with Seivad, the other great scientist on Vasilip. And of how, after years of compet.i.tion, they had finally worked together, pus.h.i.+ng science to new boundaries.

There were unhappy memories, too, of things starting to go wrong. He remembered the king's order that Seivad and he were to be killed on sight; he remembered their flight from the capital, and the lone vigilante who tracked them to their hiding place in the mountains. Gilbert had been out that day, foraging for food. When he returned to their but he found Seivad wounded and left for dead. Working through the night, Gilbert had managed to save Seivad's mind. The next day he had stowed away on the first flight out of Vasilip which had taken him, and what was left of Seivad, to Terra Alpha. Finally he remembered Helen A's cruel ultimatum, when she had discovered his true ident.i.ty: create for me a monster out of Seivad, or return to wandering the s.p.a.ce lanes looking for a home. Exhausted, Gilbert had complied with her wishes, fas.h.i.+oning the Kandy Man out of the only raw materials at his disposal.

And so Seivad had been imprisoned in an executioner's body, his mind twisted with anger and injustice.

Gilbert M turned wearily back to Joseph C. He couldn't face long explanations. 'I was exiled from Vasilip,' he said.'I came here with him in a suitcase.'

'Exiled, you say?'

Gilbert M explained briefly. 'I made a mistake. I ran the state laboratories. Without knowing it I developed a deadly new germ. The disease wiped out half the population.'

'Still,' said Joseph pleasantly, 'hardly your fault.' He considered the Kandy Man for a moment. 'Can't you just pack him up and start again?'

Gilbert was tired. 'Not this time,' he said. 'Anyway, he's better off like that. The Kandy Man's gone. There's nothing here for me now.'

Joseph didn't like to see a man so upset. He patted Gilbert's shoulder. 'Chin up, old man,' he said.

Reports of military action at the sugar factories were raining in on Daisy K as she manned the console in the Happiness Patrol's headquarters. She was bombarded with requests from section leaders for reinforcements and strategic decisions. Out of her depth, she yanked off her headphones, leaving the voices to scream their demands into thin air, and ran into the suite to find Helen A packing a suitcase, and humming softly to the muzak floating into the room. Daisy K was astonished. Will you be away long?' she asked.

'Away?' asked Helen A, carefully folding a dress.

'You're packing a suitcase,' said Daisy K. 'I a.s.sumed...'

Helen A interrupted her. 'Why would I want to go away?'

'I just thought... the situation.'

'The situation?' Helen A put the dress down and looked into Daisy K's eyes. 'There's nothing wrong, is there, Daisy K?'

Helen A seemed to have blocked out the events around her but Daisy K knew better than to try to contradict her again. 'No, of course not,' she said. 'Everything's fine.'

The muzak was interrupted by a newscaster. 'Happiness will prevail,' she said. 'Pockets of Happiness Patrol resistance have now crumbled as the drones move through sector eight. One hundred and twelve factories have now fallen to the rebels as they continue their drive westwards.'

But Helen A was not listening. 'As you said, Daisy K,'

she said, as the muzak started up again, 'everything is fine.

I'm happy,' she said, picking up her suitcase.

'I'm glad you're happy,' said Daisy.

This time, Helen A ordered Daisy to stay in the suite, and pa.s.sed through into the Happiness Patrol headquarters, closing the door firmly behind her.

Seated at the console, Helen A pressed a series of b.u.t.tons. The large monitor in front of her lit up. She smiled broadly as she read the message: 'Escape shuttle ready for take-off.'

All the manholes leading from the pipes up into the palace were fitted with heavy padlocks that had tricky combinations. The Pipe People had brought the Doctor and Ace to a manhole leading up to a small room just inside the palace walls, and the Doctor had climbed up the small iron ladder to the underside of the manhole cover.

'Are we under the palace now?' Ace asked him 'Yes,' said the Doctor, working on the combination. 'This is our way in.' He called to the Pipe People, who were keeping guard with their spears.

'Wences, Wulfric!' They scampered to the foot of the ladder. 'I'm afraid this is where we must say goodbye,' said the Doctor.

'Doctor!' said Wences, clearly disappointed.

'No protests,' said the Doctor. 'Soon you should be able to go back to the sugar fields.'

Wences seemed to be pacified by the prospect of the return to the natural habitat of the Pipe People.

The Doctor stopped fiddling with the lock for a moment, listening to a new sound. The others heard it too.

A soft, distant rumbling.

'Something's taking off,' said Ace.

'Yes,' agreed the Doctor. 'Sounds like a shuttle.' He went back to the lock and was soon rewarded with a sweet click as it snapped open.

Helen A stared at the screen in disbelief. The message had changed from 'Escape shuttle ready for take-off' to 'Shuttle in orbit'. There must be a malfunction, she thought, because only she had the means to activate the shuttle.

As she watched the message dissolved into interference, which then gave way to a new message, this time reading, 'Receiving incoming communication.' Helen A gazed at the monitor, transfixed, as Gilbert M appeared, obviously talking from the orbiting shuttle.

'Gilbert M!' snarled Helen A, unwilling to believe that he had hijacked her only means of escape.

'It's all working beautifully, Helen A, as you can see,'

said Gilbert M, who had used Vasilip technology to build Helen A the shuttle as part of their bargain, shortly after he had arrived. 'A masterful piece of engineering, even though I say it myself,' he added modestly.

'You betrayed me!'

Gilbert M scratched his chin. 'My only complaint is the company,' he continued, making conversation. 'I don't know how you put up with it,' he said, laughing.

But Helen A still didn't understand. Gilbert M had created the s.p.a.cecraft, but she had removed from him the means to fly it. 'How did you get into my escape shuttle?'

she demanded.

'That's what I was saying,' Gilbert insisted. 'The captain let me in.'

So it was a conspiracy. 'Who is this captain?' asked Helen A. 'Let me see him.'

The camera panned to the other seat in the shuttle to reveal Joseph C. 'Goodbye, dear,' he said, waving.

Helen A opened her mouth to speak, but no words would come out. She breathed deeply and after a few moments she discovered her voice again. 'What are you doing!' she asked Joseph, too astonished to be angry. Then she remembered where she had left him. 'You're supposed to be waiting for Fifi!'

'Really, dear?' said Joseph, looking down at the leash, which was still wrapped round his hand. 'It must have slipped my mind.' Then the screen went blank as the shuttle shot into the dark void of s.p.a.ce, bearing Gilbert and Joseph to new lives on a distant, unknown planet.

Helen was staring in shock at the blank monitor when Daisy K came in. Daisy was puzzled. 'You came back?' she said.

'I never went away,' said Helen, not looking round.

'But I thought I heard...' Daisy K, like the Doctor and his party, had heard the unmistakable sound of the shuttle as it was launched.

Helen A switched off the monitor and turned to Daisy, calm and businesslike. 'Really?' she said. 'I didn't hear anything. Is everything still all right?'

Daisy K decided the time had come to end the charade.

'Helen A,' she said boldy. 'You know it isn't. The factories are overrun, the Kandy Man is dead...'

'Stop!' shouted Helen A.

'But you must understand. The Doctor is closing on us.'

Helen A covered her ears with her hands. 'Stop!' she shouted. 'I asked you if everything was still all right.'

Daisy looked at her, not replying.

'And we're both happy?' asked Helen A.

Daisy K was still silent.

Helen A opened the suitcase and took out a small gun.

She levelled it at Daisy. She repeated her question for the last time. 'We are both happy, aren't we?' she said quietly.

Daisy K was saved by a cras.h.i.+ng noise from the room above them. Helen A grabbed the suitcase and ran for the door. When she reached it she turned back to Daisy K, who was still standing near the console. 'Happiness will prevail, Daisy K,' she said. She threw the gun across the room to Daisy, and slipped away, heading for the rocket port.

Daisy K caught the gun cleanly, so she was armed and ready to face the Doctor when he slid down the pole into the room from the sleeping quarters of the Happiness Patrol above.

'I was looking for Helen A,' said the Doctor, doffing his hat. 'I don't suppose...'

'You're too late, Doctor,' said Daisy K. Her face relaxed into a smile. 'But I'm delighted to see you.' She raised her gun, but a shot rang out before she could fire. Daisy's gun flew from her hand and across the room.

Daisy spun around to see Susan Q at the door covering her with Priscilla's fun gun. Earl was behind her. They had followed the Doctor and Ace into the pipes and the Pipe People had directed them to the open manhole leading into the palace. They had timed their arrival at the nerve centre of the building to perfection.

The Doctor bent down to retrieve Daisy K's gun. 'Who taught you to shoot like that, Susan Q?' he asked.

Susan Q indicated Daisy K with the barrel of the fun gun. 'She did.'

'Thank you, Daisy K,' smiled the Doctor. He tapped on the ceiling with his umbrella. 'All right, Ace,' he shouted, 'you can come down now.'

Ace slid down the pole and ran to the Doctor. 'Are you all right, Professor?'

'Splendid, thank you,' he said.

Ace walked over to Daisy K, and looked into her eyes.

'h.e.l.lo, face-ache,' she said.

Helen A had reached the dark streets on the edge of the city, streets that she would never normally have expected to see streets where the killjoys had held secret political meetings before the Doctor's arrival. She was tired and afraid as she dragged her battered suitcase behind her, but she was fortified by the tinkling sounds of the muzak emanating from some of the few loudspeakers which had escaped Susan Q's purge. It seemed to Helen A that her empire was still in place while the muzak played.

Even as she drew small crumbs of hope from these thoughts, the muzak stopped. The speakers crackled for a few moments and then the sound of Earl's sad harmonica music sang out, wrapping Helen A in its melancholy. She faltered for a moment, on the point of giving up. But then she took a firm grip on the suitcase and surged on.

Whatever she was, she would not go down in history as a quitter.

Helen A guessed accurately that Earl had found the music centre of the palace, which fed music to cities, towns and villages across the entire planet. He was now seated in front of a microphone, pouring his soul out in the music, while Susan Q unravelled the thousands of spools of tape containing the inconsequential sounds that Helen A had inflicted on her people from the first day of her dictators.h.i.+p. Daisy K had been tied to a chair in the corner of the room. Now she was vainly struggling to escape, almost unable to watch this final, humiliating insult.

The Doctor and Ace had left Susan Q and Earl in the palace while they tracked down Helen A. The Doctor knew where she was headed and quickly worked out her likely route. Unhampered by any baggage, they made good time and soon, hidden in a doorway, they were watching her trudging towards them, pulling the heavy suitcase behind her. They, too, had heard the transition from muzak to blues on the loudspeakers, and knew that Helen A would be at breaking point.

As Helen A walked past the doorway, the Doctor stepped out of the shadows to confront her. 'You can't get away, Helen A,' he said.

Helen A walked on, not even glancing at him. 'There's a scheduled flight in an hour,' she said. 'You can't stop me, Doctor.'

The Doctor stood to one side, allowing her to pa.s.s. 'I know I can't. But it's not me you're running away from.'

'Who is it, then?'

'It's yourself. That's why you'll never escape.'

Helen A stopped dead in her tracks and looked at the Doctor for the first time. He sensed that she needed to explain herself. 'They didn't understand me,' she said.

But the Doctor had already seen enough. He needed no further explanations. 'They understood you only too well.

That's why they resisted you.'

Helen felt her people had been ungrateful. 'I wanted only the best for them,' she said.

'That's your best, is it?' The Doctor was angry. 'Prisons, death squads, executions.'